


The Hobbit - That time Gandalf thought something would be most amusing

by Elderflower



Series: What difference can one person make? [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Cuteness overload?, Dwarves being dwarves, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Minor Injuries, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Assault, Serious Injuries, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 89,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3697286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elderflower/pseuds/Elderflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay here we go; The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey featuring Vana, my OC.<br/>Vana is a human girl who was taken in by the dwarves of Ered Luin after Thorin Oakenshield found her abandoned on the road with no memory of who she was. In the ten years since she has yet to remember a single thing, however she has proven herself a worthy companion of Durin's folk and has subsequently been invited to join the quest for the Lonely Mountain. The fact that she is secretly harbouring feelings for the youngest Durin prince may also have something to do with why she was so eager to join but that's need-to-know only.<br/>Tags will be updated as we go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Burglar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Company show up unannounced at Bilbo's. They are kind enough to empty his pantry for him before the big quest.

_Vana_

“I’ve got these lads,” I took the reins of the ponies. “You go on ahead. But no stealing all the pork pies!”  
“We wouldn’t dare!” Fíli laughed as he opened the gate leading up to Bag End. Kíli followed him and I lined the ponies up next to the two already here. After securing their reins and loosening their saddles I followed the two dwarves. I took a quick glance back at the ponies as I knocked at the door and frowned at Angus who was munching away at the furthest point in the hobbit’s garden he could reach. Hopefully Mister Baggins wasn’t overly fond of his begonias.  
From behind the door I heard a lot of laughter, chatter and scraping of wood along the floor. __  
What on earth are they doing in there?? I thought to myself with a smirk. Then another sound reached my ears.  
“– could that possibly be? Not more dwarves!” a voice was muttering exasperatedly as the door swung open. A tiny man stood in his dressing gown, worn over a visible beige shirt and brown cotton trousers cut off below the knees to leave his huge hairy feet for the world to see. With a sigh that seemed to be a mix of relief and frustration he addressed me. “You’re not a dwarf.”  
“Nope.” I smiled. “Vana, at your service.” I bowed low. “I hope my friends aren’t destroying your house Mister Baggins!” I stepped in and removed my coat. “Can I just leave this here?” I gestured towards the messy pile of coats by the door.  
“I suppose so…” Bilbo sighed.  
“Fantastic.” I unbuckled my sword, removed my quiver and bow and deposited them by the coat pile. I rounded the corner to see Fíli and Kíli moving chairs around two dining tables which had been placed together in the hall. Behind them were two brothers I instantly recognised. Dwalin, tall, broad and terrifying; and Balin, short, wise and kind-faced.  
“Evening gentleman!” I grasped hands with the two brothers. “What else needs doing?”  
“If you could grab those cloths for the table lass?” Balin said cheerfully. I nodded and went to it.  
“You made it alright then?” I turned to see Dwalin leaning against the doorway, a mug of ale in his large, armoured fist.  
“Aye, no troubles on the road.” I grinned. “Not that I wouldn’t be absolutely fine if there were.” I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled in response.  
“I’ve no doubt of that lass.”  
“Where are the others?” I asked, laying the cloths down the middle of the tables. As if on cue, the doorbell rang once more and I couldn’t help but exchange chuckles with the Durin brothers at Bilbo’s frustrated shouts:  
“No, there’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is! If this is some plothead’s idea of a joke, well I can only say it is in very poor taste!”  
He swung the door open, only to leap backwards as the rest of the company fell in a great pile on the floor of the hobbit’s front hall. The hobbit let out an exasperated sigh as a tall, grey figure leaned in to peer through the front door. “Gandalf.” He stated, finally seeing the culprit of his distress.  
“Looks like everyone else is here!” I grinned at the brothers.

The rest of the company soon got to work sorting the food and drinks (Fíli and Kíli not so surprisingly volunteered for that job) while Gandalf and Ori set the table. Bilbo, meanwhile, staggered around trying to prevent the dwarves from breaking his antique chairs and eating his prize-winning tomatoes. Gandalf made his way into the corridor and began his head count.  
“Fíli, Kíli ,” he spied the two brothers carrying a keg of ale through to the dining room.  
“Vana,” he acknowledged me with a smile before turning to the dwarves emerging from behind him.  
“Óin, Glóin,” he acknowledged the brothers walking past him towards the pantry.  
“Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori,” he counted the rest off on his fingers.  
“ _Ori_!” he exclaimed as he almost tripped over the youngest dwarf.  
At this point Bifur appeared at his side barking something in Khuzdul and smacking his left forearm.  
“Yes you’re quite right Bifur,” Gandalf nodded. “We appear to be one dwarf short.”  
“He is late is all,” Dwalin said, still leaning against the wall with his mug of ale. “He travelled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come.”  
“He’d better arrive soon or he’ll go hungry.” I remarked, eyeing Bombur’s huge pile of cheese wheels.  
“A tad excessive isn’t it?” Bilbo asked the huge dwarf. “Have you got a cheese knife?”  
“Cheese knife?” Bofur appeared next to Bilbo, who jumped a little at the sight of the jovial dwarf’s huge hat. “He eats it by the block!” Bofur nudged the hobbit with a grin.  
“Mister Gandalf?” Dori came up behind him with two tiny, hobbit-sized glasses. “A glass of red wine as requested sir. It’s got a fruity bouquet.”  
“Thank you very much Dori.” Gandalf smiled and accepted his.  
“One for you Miss Vana?” Dori held out the second glass.  
“Thank you Mister Dori.” I said cheerfully, downing the wine in one gulp.

To describe dinner in one word: chaos. When the food wasn’t being inhaled, it was being thrown around. The only time it was left alone was when the ale was being chugged and afterwards because of the burping competition around the table, both of which I politely declined to join. Fíli even climbed onto the table, nimbly footing his way around the plates and handing out fresh mugs of ale. Bilbo, meanwhile, stared sadly at his empty pantry. Once dinner was over and Thorin’s portion wrestled from Bombur, we got to the second helping.  
“Excuse me!” Bilbo’s voice sounded angrily from behind where I was fixing myself a leftovers sandwich. I turned to see him snatching a small cloth from Nori. “That is a doily, not a dishcloth.”  
“What on earth is a doily?” I muttered to Kíli , taking a bite out of my sandwich. He just shrugged in response as he poured himself another ale.  
“But it’s full of holes.” Bofur said to Bilbo.  
“It’s supposed to look like that, it’s crochet.”  
“Oh and a wonderful game it is too,” Bofur grinned. “If you’ve got the balls for it.” His pun had Bilbo clenching his fists and practically growling.  
“Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!”  
“My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?” Gandalf entered, frowning slightly at the distressed hobbit.  
“What’s the matter?” Bilbo asked rhetorically, his hands on his hips. “I’m surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?”  
“Well, they’re quite a merry gathering!” Gandalf smiled heartily at the dwarves, particularly at Bofur and Nori who were trying to wrestle a string of sausages from one another. “Once you get used to them.” Bilbo grabbed Gandalf’s arm and made to drag him out of the room.  
“I don’t want to get used to them!” He hissed. “Look at the state of my kitchen! There’s mud trod into the carpet; they’ve pillaged the pantry! I’m not even going to tell you what they’ve done in the bathroom; they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing! I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!” Bilbo’s voice reached an incredibly high pitch on this last word.  
“Excuse me?” Ori came up to Bilbo, holding his empty plate. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate.”  
“Here you go Ori, give it to me.” Fíli stepped up and took Ori’s plate before Bilbo could answer. He then turned it vertically and threw it across the hall to Kíli , waiting in the doorway. Kíli caught it in one hand – his other hand holding his pipe – and then threw it behind him to me as I swallowed the last mouthful of my sandwich, and then another and another, which I threw to Bifur who stood by the sink ready to wash them. He didn’t even need to turn to catch them.  
“Excuse me, take that back!” Bilbo cried in horror. “That’s my mother’s West Farthing pottery! It’s over 100 years old!”  
I couldn’t help but laugh out loud as I saw Gandalf duck and doge Fíli’s throws.  
“I don’t think he likes us throwing his dishes lads!” I called to the brothers. “Shall we roll them instead?” I rolled the dish I held across the floor to Bifur, Ori gracefully hopping over it as he passed.  
“No, stop that!” Bilbo shouted at me, trying to intercept his dishes in the air. Meanwhile, Fíli set about bouncing a bowl off of his elbows and Bofur, Dori, Glóin and Nori began to tap out a rhythm on the wooden dining table with their cutlery. “And can you not do that please?” Bilbo addressed them sternly. “You’ll blunt them!”  
“Ooh! D’you hear that lads?” Bofur chanted. “He says we’ll blunt the knives!”  
“Here we go,” I said, twirling a plate on my fingertip.  
_"Blunt the knives, bend the forks,”_ Kíli began the tune.  
_“Smash the bottles and burn the corks,”_ Fíli continued.  
_“Chip the glasses and crack the plates,”_ the rest of the dwarves joined.  
_“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”_  
“Cut the cloth, tread on the fat!”  
“Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!”  
“Pour the milk on the pantry floor!”  
“Splash the wine on every door!”  
Bilbo could only look on in horror as his dishes were piled high and thrown about the room as the dwarves danced around him.  
_“Dump the crocks in the boiling bowl!”_  
“Pound them up with a thumping pole!”  
“When we’re finished, if they are whole, send them down the hall to roll!”  
Fíli, Kíli and I bowled the remaining plates into the kitchen where Bombur obtained any remaining morsels of food before they could be washed.  
_“That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”_  
The song finished with an outbreak of laughter at Bilbo’s astounded face; the dishes were squeaky clean without a chip or a crack on them. Our laughter was short-lived however as three loud knocks sounded at the door. Everyone fell silent, save Gandalf. “He is here,” he said in a low voice.

Gandalf slowly opened the door to reveal our raven-haired leader, dressed in his black travelling cloak, dark blue coat and large fur pelt.  
“Gandalf,” he acknowledged the wizard before stepping into the hobbit hole. “I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way twice.” He shrugged off his cloak as he spoke. “I wouldn’t have found it at all if it wasn’t for that mark on the door.” He turned from the wizard to smile warmly at his nephews and greet the rest of the company.  
“Mark?” Bilbo demanded from behind him. “There’s no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!”  
“There is a mark, I put it there myself,” Gandalf said exasperatedly before gently pushing Bilbo forward and gesturing at Thorin. “Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company; Thorin Oakenshield.”  
“So, this is the hobbit.” Thorin regarded the hobbit as he handed his cloak to Kíli and began to circle around Bilbo. “Tell me Master Baggins, have you done much fighting?”  
“I beg your pardon?” Bilbo frowned.  
“Axe or sword?” Thorin continued. “Which is your weapon of choice?”  
“Well I do have some skill at conkers if you must know,” Bilbo said sarcastically. “But I fail to see how that’s relevant.”  
“Thought as much,” Thorin looked down on him with a smirk. “He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.”  
I chuckled along with the others, more at Bilbo’s confused face than anything else.  
“You must be hungry Uncle,” Fíli said, leading him into the hall.  
“We saved you some food,” Kíli added, retrieving it from its hiding place.  
“Thank you,” Thorin smiled at the brothers, taking a seat at the head of the table. The rest of the company took their seats also, while I retrieved a clean mug and filled it with the last of the ale.  
“Here you are Thorin,” I set it next to him.  
“Thank you, Vana.” He nodded at me. “Are you well?”  
“Aye, your nephews took good care of me on the road.” I grinned.  
“I’m glad to hear it.” He replied, before turning to Balin. I took my seat further up the table, between Fíli and Kíli as Balin asked Thorin about his meeting in Ered Luin.  
“Did they all come?”  
“Aye,” Thorin replied. “Envoys from all seven kingdoms.”  
“And what do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say?” Dwalin leaned in. “Is Dáin with us?”  
Thorin took a deep breath, pushing his plate away slightly. “They will not come,” he sighed. “They say this quest is ours and ours alone.”  
There was a unanimous groan from the rest of the company.  
“You’re going on a quest?” Bilbo’s voice piped up from behind Gandalf, who looked around at him with a small smile.  
“Bilbo, my dear fellow,” he said. “Let us have a little more light.”  
Bilbo nodded and went to fetch a candle while Gandalf withdrew a map from his grey cloak.  
“Far to the east,” he began in what I had come to know as his ‘story-telling voice’. “Beyond ranges and rivers, over woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak.” He gestured at a point on the map as Bilbo leaned over Thorin’s shoulder with his candle.  
“The Lone-ly Moun-tain.” He read aloud.  
“Aye,” Glóin said. “Óin has read the portents and the portents say –“ he spoke loudly as Dori and Nori began to sigh and roll their eyes. “They say it is time.”  
“Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold,” Óin said, eyeing everybody in the company. “When the birds of yore return to Erebor the reign of the beast will end.”  
On this last word he turned to face Thorin who was fingering his food as if deep in thought.  
“Uh, what beast?” Bilbo asked.  
“Oh that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible,” Bofur said casually. “Chiefest and greatest calamity of our age.”  
I glanced at the two brothers next to me. Fíli was frowning slightly at Bofur while Kíli’s eyes widened at the mention of the dragon. He glanced at me and I felt his fingers touch mine beneath the table.  
“Airborne fire-breather,” Bofur continued. “Teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks. Extremely fond of precious metals -”  
“Yes I know what a dragon is.” Bilbo cut him off, his hands clasped awkwardly at his chest.  
Ori was suddenly on his feet. “I’m not afraid,” he announced proudly. “I’m up for it. I’ll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!”  
“Good lad Ori!” Nori cheered his younger brother while his older brother tugged him back into his seat.  
“This task would be difficult enough with an army behind us,” Balin spoke up. “But we number just fourteen. And not fourteen of the best, nor brightest.”  
This last remark earned him a fair few grumbles from around the table.  
“Here, who are you calling dim!” Nori demanded.  
“We may be few in number!” Fíli thumped his fist on the table to quieten the rest of them. “But we’re fighters. All of us! To the last dwarf!”  
“Aye,” I agreed. “We may not all be as experienced in war as you Mister Balin, but each of us have different skills and talents that have aided us in the past. We all know how to fight but more than that, we all want to fight because we all believe in this cause. Why else would we be here?”  
Many of the dwarves nodded in agreement and Dwalin gave me a warm smile. I felt Kíli squeeze my hand gently.  
“And you forget we have a wizard in our company,” Kíli grinned first at me and then at the others. “Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!”  
“Oh well, no,” Gandalf cringed slightly as all the dwarves turned to him.  
“How many then?” Dori demanded. “How many dragons have you killed?”  
Gandalf only spluttered and coughed on his pipe.  
“Go on, give us a number!” Dori raised his voice. Within seconds, half of the dwarves were on their feet, shouting mixtures of Westron and Khuzdul at each other. I leant back from the table in an effort to avoid the carnage.  
“We’re going to be here all night,” I muttered.  
“You might be right,” Fíli agreed.  
“So I may have been wrong about the dragons,” Kíli murmured.  
“Maybe,” I grinned at him.  
“ENOUGH!” Thorin’s shout made me jump and the company were instantly seated. Bilbo took a step back from the leader, now on his feet, glowering at the other dwarves. “If we have read these signs,” he spoke with authority, looking each member of the company in the eye. “Do you not think others will have read them too? Rumours have begun to spread. The dragon, Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the mountain assessing, wondering; weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours, or do we seek this chance to take back Erebor?” He raised his voice on his last words, ushering cheers and war cries from the company. “ ** _Du bekar_**!” He cried, grinning fiercely at us all.  
“You forget,” Balin called over us. “The front gate is sealed! There is no way into that mountain.”  
This silenced us all and Thorin slumped back into his chair.  
“That, my dear Balin,” Gandalf said, reaching into his sleeve. “Is not entirely true.” He withdrew a large, stone key, turning it over in his fingers.  
“How came you by this? Thorin breathed, staring wide-eyed at the key.  
“It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now.” He handed the key to Thorin who gazed at it, almost lovingly; a precious relic of his old home.  
“If there is a key,” Fíli addressed the wizard. “There must be a door.”  
Gandalf nodded in agreement and pointed back to the map. “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.”  
“There’s another way in.” Kíli grinned at him.  
“Well if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed.”  
“I’ve always wondered,” I frowned. “Whose silly idea was that?”  
“That is a story for another time my dear,” Gandalf smiled at me before turning back to the map. “The answer to our current predicament lies hidden somewhere in this map, but I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage. But if we are clever and careful, I believe that it can be done.”  
“It will be done.” I said, smiling at Thorin, who was frowning. He looked up at my words and offered a gracious nod.  
“That’s why we need a burglar.” Ori said.  
“A good one too,” Bilbo nodded. “An expert I’d imagine.”  
“And are you?” Glóin asked him. The rest of us leaned in, awaiting his answer, Óin grasping his ear horn tightly.  
“Am I what?” Bilbo frowned.  
“He said he’s an expert!” Óin said gleefully, earning him a confused look from Fíli.  
“What?” Bilbo asked, eyes widening. “Me? No! No, no, no. I’m not a burglar. I’ve never stolen a thing in my life.”  
“I’m afraid I have to agree with Mister Baggins,” Balin said. “He’s hardly burglar material.  
Bilbo nodded at him.  
“Aye,” Dwalin eyed the Hobbit. “The Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.”  
“I believe you once said the same thing about me Dwalin,” I pointed out to him, eyebrows raised. “We have only known this hobbit a few hours; who’s to say he won’t surprise us?”  
“I really don’t -” Bilbo began but his voice was soon lost amongst the arguing dwarves. Gandalf bristled for a few moments before getting to his feet, his voice becoming deeper and louder.  
“Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar than a burglar he is!”  
We all shrank away from him as the room momentarily grew darker. His voice went back to its normal tone as he continued:  
“Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the scent of dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him which gives us a distinct advantage.” Bilbo raised a hand in protest but was silenced as Gandalf sat back down and addressed Thorin directly. “You asked me to find the fifteenth member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know.” He looked pointedly at Bilbo before concluding. “Including himself.”  
Thorin still did not look convinced.  
“You must trust me on this.” Gandalf said finally.  
Thorin regarded the wizard for a few moments before nodding.  
“Alright, we do it your way. Give him the contract.” He gestured to Balin who complied.  
“We’re in. We’re off!” Bofur grinned as the Hobbit began to protest.  
“It’s just the usual,” Balin held out the contract to him. “Summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, rumination, funeral arrangements, so forth.”  
“Funeral arrangements?” Bilbo frowned as Thorin thrust the contract to his chest.  
“It’s merely a formality,” I said to him cheerfully. “No quest comes without some risk, and to be fair this one does include a dragon.”  
Bilbo stared at me. “You say that as if it’s normal.”  
I couldn’t help but grin. “Look around you Mister Baggins. Does any of this feel normal to you?”  
Bilbo merely frowned and went back to the contract. Thorin leaned in to whisper something to Gandalf I could not hear.  
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Kíli jokingly punched my shoulder.  
“You calling us strange?” Fíli pretended to be offended.  
“Do I really need to answer that?” I winked at the blonde prince.  
“Excuse me, lass?” Nori pointed his pipe at me, deliberately emphasising the word ‘lass.’ I think you’ll find at this table, you’re the one who’s strange.”  
“That may be true,” I laughed at the pointy-haired dwarf. “But to Mister Baggins we’re all just a bunch of strange, not mention uninvited, house guests.”  
“Technically, I invited you,” Gandalf said.  
“And did you inform our host at the time?”  
“Well…”  
“Exactly.” I gestured at the wizard. “I rest my case.”  
“Where would the fun have been in telling him?” Gandalf’s rhetorical question had us all laughing and nodding in agreement.  
“Quiet, please,” Balin raised his hand to silence us. “Our potential burglar is still reading his contract.”  
Bilbo, indeed, was still poring over the parchment that was pooling at his feet. “’Terms: cash payment to be received upon delivery up to but not exceeding one fifteenth of total profit if any.’ Seems fair…” He was muttering to himself as he read. “’Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to…laceration? Evisceration?’” He turned to us, eyebrows disappearing into his curly hairline. “’Incineration?!’”  
“Oh, aye!” Bofur grinned. “He’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.”  
Bilbo dropped the contract, his eyes growing wide. “Huh…”  
“You alright laddie?” Balin asked kindly.  
“Yeah,” Bilbo leant forward, breathing deeply. “Feel a bit faint.”  
At this, Bofur was on his feet, his grin growing wider. “Think furnace with wings!”  
“Air, I need air.” Bilbo muttered. “Flash of light, searing pain then poof! You’re nothing more than a pile of ash!”  
Bilbo closed his eyes tight and took a few deep breaths. He then nodded and looked at us all before muttering ‘nope’ and collapsing on the floor.  
“Oh, very helpful Bofur.” Gandalf grumbled as he stood to help the poor hobbit. I rolled my eyes at the cheery dwarf and made my way around the table towards them.  
“Was that absolutely necessary Bofur?”  
“It’s as you said lass,” he winked at me. “We’re a strange lot.”  
I chuckled as I knelt and lifted Bilbo’s head off the floor. “Bilbo?” I called his name softly. When no response came I opened my hand flat and smacked his cheek hard.  
His eyes flew open and his hand flew to his reddening face.  
“What -?”  
“You fainted,” I said simply, smiling kindly down at him. “Come on, on your feet now.” I hauled him up by his arm. I hadn’t noticed just how small he was; he barely reached my shoulder.  
“Dori!” Gandalf called. “Fetch him a chamomile tea would you?”  
“Which is your favourite armchair?” I asked Bilbo. He nodded towards his living room and muttered ‘the green one’ before letting me lead him to it. “Now you sit there and put your feet up.”  
“Thank you,” he muttered, frowning at me and rubbing his flaming red cheek. “Did you slap me?”  
“Aye.” I grinned and knelt next to him. “I was going to pour some water on your face but I didn’t have any to hand. And the others drank all your ale.”  
“I see,” he nodded.  
“You feeling okay?” My grin became a kind smile and he regarded me for a moment before returning it.  
“Fine, I just…wasn’t expecting…”  
“Such a graphic description? That’s fair. But truth be told, Mister Baggins, hearing a description of pain and death is nothing compared to seeing it with your own eyes, or worse, feeling it as your own.”  
Bilbo stared at me. “You’ve seen someone incinerated by a dragon?”  
I laughed shortly. “No, nor do I ever want to. But there are others in this company who have. And those who haven’t, well they have seen death by other causes; raids, battles, illness, accidents and old age. Everybody dies eventually. You will die yourself one day, there’s no point in being afraid of it.” I met his gaze and he frowned slightly.  
“You speak as if you were a warrior of old, yet you look like you have barely reached adulthood.”  
“I’m no warrior master hobbit, at least not yet. But I am a fighter.” I gestured to the rest of the company who were gathered in the kitchen. “We all are. I may never have seen battle, but I have faced threats to my life on more than one occasion. The first time I knew nothing of swordplay or archery or even conkers,” I raised an eyebrow and he smiled slightly at my reference. “And yet I still fought my way out of it.”  
Bilbo’s frown deepened and my smile faded as I decided to share the details of the day I most wanted to forget.  
“I was taken in by Thorin when he found me abandoned on the road. I had no money, no food, no clothes and no name. I had no idea who I was or how I had come to be there. My memories before then still elude me to this day. But Thorin and his people gave me a home, a name and a family. Not all the dwarves agreed with his actions. They felt it was blasphemy to allow a daughter of man to live amongst them, in their halls, in their court, learning their history. One night, during a feast, three guards kidnapped me and tried to rape me.”  
I did my best to ignore Bilbo’s look of horror and pity.  
“I was pinned to a bed, with no hope of escape. I knew what was happening to me, what was going to happen. I was an unarmed young girl against three strong, armed dwarves. But I fought back. I kicked and punched and bit and screamed until finally help came and I was saved.”  
Bilbo stared wide-eyed at me, clutching the arm of his chair.  
“Why are you telling me this?”  
“Because, Mister Baggins, I was no more of a warrior then than you are now. I felt scared and helpless in the face of danger. But it was because of that fear that I found the strength I needed to fight back. In the end, that awful day made me braver and stronger than I ever thought I could be. It made me who I am today.”  
“Here you are Mister Baggins,” Dori bustled in with a tray containing two mugs in his hands. “Some chamomile to calm your nerves.” He handed Bilbo one and he nodded in thanks as he took it. “I made some for you too,” He handed the second mug to me.  
“Thank you Dori,” I smiled widely. The dwarf nodded and headed back to the kitchen. I saw Gandalf approach, his pipe freshly lit, and stood. “I might get some fresh air.” I said to Bilbo. “Will you be alright?”  
“Yes, I’ll be fine, I just need to sit quietly for a moment.”  
“You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long!” Gandalf snapped.  
“Be nice,” I said to him softly before slipping out of the front door, not noticing the youngest prince watching me go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chaper is just a taster. The rest I'll put up after I've finished part one of the series - hopefully within the next few weeks.


	2. Secret Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Chapter 2.   
> There will be a new one every Sunday starting today.  
> The dwarves and Vana spend the night at Bilbo's.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli watched Vana leave with an anxious feeling. Unbeknownst to her he had heard most of her conversation with the hobbit. He fiddled with his mother’s rune stone mindlessly, trying to decide what he could say to her. She had not spoken of that day for many years now. He knew for a fact she still relived it in her nightmares, scarce as they may be these days. Would it be wise of him pursue the subject? Or should he let it lie so she would not dwell on it?  
“What troubles you, brother?” Fíli appeared beside him. He glanced over at the wizard who was gesturing with his pipe as he spoke to the hobbit. “I know the wizard’s choice of burglar isn’t desirable but I feel he may yet surprise us.”  
“It’s not the hobbit I think of.” Kíli murmured.  
“Then what is it?”  
“Vana,” Kíli glanced at the door. “She told Bilbo about…about what happened ten years ago. Well, what _almost_ happened.”  
“She did?” Fíli raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Why?”  
“She said she was as helpless and afraid as he is now, but that day and the fear it brought made her stronger. It was strange. The way she spoke, she sounded almost… grateful.” He grimaced on the last word, his hold on his stone tightening.  
“I’m sure she’s not grateful that it happened.” Fíli replied, noticing his brother grow tense. “I think she means that she’s grateful she discovered just how strong she really is. And she is just that brother,” he smiled and Kíli met his gaze. “She’s strong and brave beyond measure. If she hadn’t found it out that night, she would’ve found out some other way. Don’t dwell on it Kíli . It won’t do anyone any good, least of all her.”  
Kíli regarded his brother with admiration before nodding.  
“How is it you always know exactly what to say to make everything better?” he grinned.  
“I’m your big brother,” Fíli smacked him on the shoulder. “That’s my job.”  
Kíli chuckled before his ears picked up the hobbit’s words once more.  
“Sorry, Gandalf, I can’t sign this.”  
The two brothers turned to see Bilbo stand up, setting his mug next to the contract on the table by his chair. “You’ve got the wrong hobbit.” He said before making his way out of the room and down the hall, presumably to his bedroom.  
Fíli and Kíli glanced at each other before going over to Gandalf, who was sitting in the chair opposite Bilbo’s.  
“The hobbit won’t come then?” Fíli asked, solemnly.  
“A shame,” Kíli added. “I was rather looking forward to getting to know him better.”  
“Oh he may yet come,” Gandalf said, chewing absent-mindedly on the end of his pipe. “He does not yet know it, but his heart yearns for adventure. It has ever since I’ve known him. And I feel the words of our lady ring true to him.”  
“You heard what she said as well?”  
“I did,” Gandalf nodded. “Miss Vana will be alright once she’s had a chance to clear her head. I would imagine it does her good in the long run to talk about her ordeal.”  
“I don’t see how,” Kíli said softly, glancing towards the door. “She doesn’t speak of it often, but when she does she grows frightened. She thinks I don’t notice but I see it in her eyes. The light fades from them and it’s as if she disappears and reappears back there. And then there are the nightmares.”  
“People who live through these types of events never truly forget them,” Gandalf told him. “They grow to live with the memory of them, they come to terms with its effects and eventually it does not bother them as much. But I’ve always found those who do not talk about them, who do not share their burden, become crushed by it. Some even take their own lives because of it.”  
The brothers instantly tensed.   
“You don’t think Vana would-!” Fíli began but was cut off by Gandalf.   
“No, no! Of course not. She is in a much better state of mind than that. I merely want you to understand that, while it may be an uncomfortable subject for you, Vana needs to know that she can talk about it to you or anyone else whom she trusts.”  
“Vana trusts us,” Kíli said, feeling slightly offended. “She knows she can talk to us about anything.”  
“Good,” Gandalf smiled and stood from his chair. “Then you have nothing to worry about.” With that he made his way to the kitchen to refill his tea.   
“What was all that about?” Thorin asked as he entered the living room, followed by Balin.   
“Nothing, uncle.” Fíli answered. “We were just asking about our burglar.”  
“He is not our burglar,” Thorin said, moving to stand next to the fireplace. He lowered a match into the flames until it caught alight and then lit his pipe.   
“Gandalf is hopeful he’ll change his mind.” Kíli informed him.   
“I very much doubt it,” Thorin blew a smoke ring, leaning against the mantelpiece as he gazed into the fire.   
“I don’t know Thorin,” Balin said with a small smile. “The wizard has proved to be reliable so far. He may yet be right about the young hobbit.”  
Thorin said nothing but offered his advisor a small smile in response. The rest of the company slowly joined them in the living room, pulling out their own pipes.   
“Where’s Vana?” Dwalin asked, between puffs.   
“She went outside for some air,” Fíli said. “I’m sure she’ll be in soon.”   
Dwalin nodded at the prince and went back to his pipe. Kíli glanced at the door again, his instincts telling him to go outside and see if she was well. Then the sound of humming reached his ears. A low baritone came from Thorin as he began a slow solemn tune that the two brothers had come to know so well. In fact most dwarves old enough to hear the story knew of the song of how the mountain was lost. The rest of the company slowly added their own voices to it and eventually, Thorin began to sing, followed by the rest of the dwarves.

 _Far over the Misty Mountains cold,_  
To dungeons deep and caverns old,   
We must away, ere break of day,   
To find our long forgotten gold.

 _The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_  
_While hammers fell like ringing bells_  
_In places deep, where dark things sleep,_  
_In hollow halls beneath the fells._

 _For ancient king and elvish lord,_  
_There many a gleaming golden hoard_  
_They shaped and wrought, and light they caught_  
_To hide in gems on hilt of sword._

 _On silver necklaces they strung_  
_The flowering stars, on crowns they hung_  
_The dragon-fire, in twisted wire,_  
_They meshed the light of moon and sun._

 _Far over the misty mountains cold_  
_To dungeons deep and caverns old_  
_We must away, ere break of day,_  
_To claim our long-forgotten gold._

 _Goblets they carved there for themselves_  
_And harps of gold; where no man delves_  
_There lay they long, and many a song_  
_Was sung unheard by men or elves._

 _The pines were roaring on the height,_  
The trees were moaning in the night,   
The fire was red, it flaming spread,   
The trees like torches blazed with light.

 _The bells were ringing in the dale,_  
_And men looked up with faces pale;_  
_Then dragon's ire more fierce than fire,_  
_Laid low their towers and houses frail._

 _The mountain smoked beneath the moon;_  
_The dwarves, they heard the tramp of doom._  
_They fled their hall to dying fall,_  
_Beneath his feet, beneath the moon._

 _Far over the misty mountains grim,_  
_To dungeons deep and caverns dim,_  
_We must away, ere break of day,_  
_To win our harps and gold from him!_

_ Vana  _

I hugged my hands around my mug of tea; the night seemed unusually brisk for a spring evening. The song was still echoing in my head, feeding me images of fire and stone, and I found myself longing to see the kingdom of Erebor in all its glory; the halls filled with golden light, the gems in the workshops, the tapestries and statues of kings. I was knocked out of my reverie by the front door opening. Kíli emerged, wrapped in his coat and clutching mine under his arm.   
“You’re going to freeze out here.” He shook out my coat and draped it over my shoulders as he took a seat next to me. “Do you want to start the quest by getting pneumonia?” He nudged me softly.   
“Shut up. I have my tea.”  
“Just looking out for my woman.”  
“ _Your_ woman?” I pretended to scold him but I couldn’t help smiling at that. “You know I’m not a possession?”  
“Of course, but you’re still my woman.” He put his arm around my shoulders and I leant my head against his.   
“And you’re my wee dwarrow.” I chuckled.   
“You said you wouldn’t call me that anymore!” Kíli moaned.   
“Sorry. But I _am_ taller than you.”  
“By about half an inch and only when you’re not slouching like an old man!”  
“Yes and don’t you forget it!” I nudged him in the ribs before taking a sip of my tea. “I wish we didn’t have to keep this a secret.”  
Kíli gently squeezed my shoulders. “I know, I would love nothing better than to give you a courting braid and parade it in front of the entire company.”  
“It would be nice not to have to sneak around.” I nuzzled into his neck, making him hum affectionately.   
“I know, love.” He placed a hand on my chin and turned my face to his. “I know,” he whispered before pressing his lips softly against mine. I couldn’t help but sigh. Travelling with Fíli the past few weeks, Kíli and I rarely had any time alone. He knew about our relationship – of course, he could read his brother like a book - and didn’t mind us kissing in front of him, but it was different being alone. It was so much better.  
He pulled away a few moments later, his eyes never leaving mine.   
“You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” he asked softly.   
“Of course.” I frowned. “Why?”  
Kíli looked at his lap, blushing slightly. “I overheard what you said to Bilbo.”   
I quickly looked away, into the hedges at the bottom of Bilbo’s garden.   
“I see,” I muttered.   
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing. And then I heard you telling him about…about what happened and I couldn’t stop myself.”  
I said nothing, unsure what kind of a response he wanted. I wasn’t angry with him, but I didn’t want to think about that night more than was absolutely necessary.   
“Vana?” Kíli asked in a hushed voice.   
“Yes?”  
“Do you…?” His voice faltered. “I mean…does it still bother you?” I turned to face him and saw him grimace at his own words.   
“Of course it does,” I said. “I still think about it, occasionally. Sometimes when my mind wanders it strays back to that night. Other times I revisit it in my nightmares. But it’s nothing to worry about. I accepted that I would never forget it a long time ago.” I paused and suddenly let out a short laugh. Kíli looked utterly confused now.   
“Sorry,” I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand to muffle the rest of my laughter. “I just thought, I forget the entire first sixteen years of my life and yet the one night I actually want to forget is the memory that will stick.”  
Kíli forced himself to smile. “Fate is cruel sometimes.”  
“It certainly is.” I nodded and took a long sip of my tea.   
“Maybe the next time you are thinking about it, you should come and tell me?” Kíli smiled, his hand caressing my arm. “And I’ll give you another memory to think of instead.”  
“Oh yes?” I smiled mischievously at him. “Such as what?”  
“Such as…” he trailed a finger lightly across my cheek, making me supress a tremble. “The first day I met you and I introduced you to Daisy.” He gazed at me and I could almost see the memory playing in his eyes. “Or, when we took you to that tavern and you annhialated Bofur in your first drinking contest? Or the first time I heard you sing?”  
I blushed at the memory. It felt as if a thousand years had passed since then.   
“How did the song go again?”  
“Please don’t make me sing it. It’s so embarrassing…” I ducked my head but Kíli only nuzzled me.   
“Please?”  
I glanced up into his big brown eyes, gazing at me like a dog begging for a treat. I sighed and softly began to sing:

_I hear your voice on the wind  
And I hear you call out my name_

_"Listen, my child," you say to me_  
"I am the voice of your history  
Be not afraid, come follow me  
Answer my call, and I'll set you free"

 _I am the voice in the wind and the pouring rain_  
I am the voice of your hunger and pain  
I am the voice that always is calling you  
I am the voice, I will remain

 _I am the voice in the fields when the summer's gone_  
The dance of the leaves when the autumn winds blow  
Ne'er do I sleep throughout all the cold winter long  
I am the force that in springtime will grow

 _I am the voice of the past that will always be_  
Filled with my sorrow and blood in my fields  
I am the voice of the future, bring me your peace  
Bring me your peace, and my wounds, they will heal

I finished the song, still blushing from the memory. It had been such a spontaneous event; the song had entered my head – I had no idea where from, but somehow I just knew it – and I had started to sing. Then I had started to dance. It was only after I had finished it that I had noticed Kíli watching me, grinning widely in amusement. I had felt sure he was making fun of me, but then I noticed the same smile on his face as I sat next to him in Bilbo Baggins’ garden.  
“I have known you for over ten years now, and your voice still never ceases to amaze me,” he wondered aloud.   
“That’s good,” I winked. “It means I’m not boring.”  
“You could never be boring,” he tapped my nose with his finger. “Can you think of any other memories you would like me to remind you of?”  
“The first time you kissed me?” I whispered. He grinned and pressed his forehead against mine.   
“That was going to be my next suggestion.”   
“Of course it was,” I joked. He chuckled and shook his head slightly before pressing his lips softly against my forehead. He then took my face gently in his hands and lightly pressed his lips to the side of my head, just next to my eyebrow. He then tilted my head slightly and kissed the edge of my jaw, then the tip of my nose and finally my lips again. I moaned slightly as he kissed me more deeply than before; countless, loving movements of his lips against mine. All too soon, he pulled away, leaving me slightly breathless.   
“What was that for?” I whispered.  
He smiled widely at my flushed face. “Creating another memory.”   
I closed my eyes at his words; sometimes he was too adorable to be believed.   
“We should go back inside.” His words made me open my eyes again. “The sun will be up in a few hours and then we’ll be off.”  
“I won’t sleep tonight.” I sighed  
“Nor I. But it would look suspicious if we stayed out here all night.” He smirked as we stood from the bench and made our way back into the hobbit hole.

I woke the next morning curled in an armchair. Some of the dwarves were already awake, Bombur included, and he was busying himself ransacking what little remained of Bilbo’s food stores for breakfast. Kíli was one of them and he smiled as he saw me stirring, tiptoeing his way past the other sleeping dwarves.  
“Good morning, you.” He whispered, crouching next to my chair.  
“Good morning, you.” I stretched my arms above my head as I sat up straight, my feet narrowly missing Dori’s head, resting near the foot of the chair.   
“Bombur found eggs,” Kíli grinned widely. “Bacon too.”  
“Bacon? Where?” I was instantly more alert, which made Kíli chuckle and suddenly his lips were on mine. I gasped in surprise, kissing him back for a moment before I remembered the slumbering company around us.  
“What are you playing at?” I hissed, shoving him away too roughly so he tripped backwards over Ori’s slumbering form. Kíli just laughed loudly at this, rousing the rest of the company from their sleep.   
“Whasofunny?” Dwalin grumbled, rubbing the sleep fiercely from his eyes.  
“And at this time in the morning?” Nori groaned, rolling over to try and stretch his slumber a little further.  
“Kíli?” Ori’s small voice sounded from beneath Kíli’s laughing, idiotic self. “Kíli, why are you lying on top of me?”   
“Ask her,” Kíli rolled off the youngest dwarf and gestured at me. I scoffed, feeling my face grow hot.  
“That’s what you get for waking me up.” I growled, picking my way around the dwarves towards the kitchen.  
“But I didn’t wake you up,” Ori muttered.   
“A thousand apologies Ori,” Kíli leapt to his feet and reached a hand down to help the young dwarf up. He accepted with a questioning look on his face.  
“You are far too chipper for this hour laddie,” Balin chuckled as he took his seat at the table.  
“I quite agree, and I’m the fun one.” Bofur said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.   
“I suppose I should put some tea on,” Dori said, ushering Ori through on his way to the kettle.  
“Good morning,” Thorin’s deep voice rumbled around the kitchen as he appeared in the doorway, followed by Gandalf. They had both taken spare rooms, rather than sleeping rough in the living room.   
“Morning,” we all replied, many of us with mouthfuls of eggs.  
“Bilbo not with you?” Bombur asked as he piled Thorin’s plate with bacon, sausages, eggs and tomatoes.  
“No, he still sleeps.”  
“Mahal knows how with this lot,” Dwalin gestured to us with his fork, making Kíli laugh and nudge me under the table. I rolled my eyes and aimed a kick at him, missing and hitting Bofur instead who yelped in pain. Kíli laughed harder, clapping Bofur on the back.  
“What just happened?” He muttered, glaring at me when I ducked my head.  
“Hang on, what did I do?” Fíli threw his hands up in confusion. “I was in the kitchen with Bombur! It was Kíli and Vana who were messing about!”  
“We were not!” I almost shouted, blushing harder. “We were not messing about! There was no messing, there was no – there was nothing!”  
The company turned to me, all with confused expressions at my exclamation. With a final indignant look at Kíli , who was spluttering with laughter, I shoved my plate away and stood up to leave, telling them I was going to get the ponies ready, flicking my napkin at Kíli’s head with a grimace.  
I marched out of the kitchen and after a few minutes of searching, found the washroom. I splashed some cold water on my face and brushed my teeth before heading out of the front door, grabbing my coat and weapons on the way. At the front gate I dumped my weapons on the ground before folding my coat up and fastening it with a strap on Angus’ saddle. The early morning air wasn’t cold and it would only get warmer as the day went on. My cloak I rolled up into a tight bundle and fastened onto another strap on the other side of the saddle. Next I belted on my sword across my back, before positioning my quiver on top, with my arrows and bow still slotted neatly inside. Finally, my belt with my six throwing knives was buckled around my waist. I eyed the area of Bilbo’s garden that had been massacred by the ponies and sighed at the monsters responsible. They simply looked back at me innocently. I went around the ponies, giving their necks, backs and stomachs a quick brush before fastening their bridles back on and redoing their girths. Next I went around them all, checking their feet and legs. By the time I had finished, the rest of the company had joined me having packed everything up and cleaned Bilbo’s kitchen and living room. It was getting on for mid-morning now and Thorin was anxious to get going.   
“Still no sign of Bilbo?” I asked Gandalf, who was tending to his horse.   
“Not yet, but an extra hour or two of sleep may be just what he needs to convince him to join us.”  
“Give it up, wizard,” Dwalin called over from his pony. “The halfling’s not coming. I don’t know what could possibly make that clearer.”  
“Care to make it interesting, brother?” Balin asked, a glint in his eye.  
“What’re you thinking?” Glóin asked.  
“Three silvers says the hobbit shows up before we leave The Shire.” Balin offered.  
“I’ll second that bet,” Fíli raised his hand.  
“Me too,” Kíli called over.  
“I’ll back Dwalin,” Nori said. “There’s no chance that hobbit’s coming.”  
“I’ll –“ Ori began.  
“No you won’t!” Dori scolded, shooting Nori a disapproving glare.  
“I’ll bet five slivers that he catches up to us before leaving Hobbiton,” I called, smirking at Dwalin’s shocked expression. Fíli and Kíli looked impressed.  
“I’ll match Miss Vana.” Gandalf nodded as he mounted his horse. “Bilbo Baggins will not be able to resist.”  
I grinned at the wizard as I pulled myself onto Angus, who tossed his head and snorted at the notion of having to leave his feasting grounds.  
“If you must gamble you can sort it out on the road,” Thorin said almost sternly as he directed his pony to the head of the line and mounted up. “We’re late enough as it is.” The rest of the company mounted up, Oin and Bifur holding the lead of a second pony in addition to their own.   
“Right, remind me of the odds?” Glóin called, having got out his parchment and quill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs used are:   
> Misty Mountains - J.R.R. The-Master Tolkein (obviously)   
> The Voice - Celtic Women


	3. The Journey Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Company spend their first night on the road in Bree. Not without angst and a smidgeon of violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling generous so two chapters in one day it is.

_ Vana _

“I said it, didn’t I?” Dori remarked. “Coming here was a waste of time.”  
“That’s true enough!” Glóin agreed.   
“Ridiculous notion. Use a Hobbit? A Halfling? Whose idea was it anyway?”  
“That would be mine Master Dori,” Gandalf called back to them from the front. “Have you so little trust in the word of a wizard?”  
“Then where is he, Mr. Gandalf?”  
“I wouldn’t speak too soon Dori. You forget the bet stands until we leave the Shire.” I called over to him.   
“I’m not a betting dwarf, Miss Vana!” Dori scoffed.   
“In this case that’s a good thing.”  
In the end, Gandalf and I were right on the mark. Just as we were about to pass the border of Hobbiton the hobbit came running up behind us, his pack bouncing heavily on his back and the contract flapping wildly in his hand.  
“Wait! Wait! I signed it!” He jogged over to Balin who wordlessly reached for the contract and began to inspect it.  
“Well,” he said after a few moments, folding the contract up. “Everything appears to be in order. Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield.” He winked kindly at the hobbit who grinned.  
“Give him a pony.” Thorin ordered.  
“Oh no, that won’t be necessary,” Bilbo began. I chuckled as he began explaining about his knack for walking holidays, motioning for Bifur to give me the reins to one of the pack ponies. I nodded to Fíli and Kíli who began to ride up on either side of Bilbo. His cry of surprise as they lifted him easily from the ground made me burst out laughing.   
“Thorin says to get you a pony, we get you a pony.” I laughed as I led the pony beneath Bilbo’s flailing legs and the brothers placed him onto the saddle. The pony could not have been less bothered by the commotion and kept walking calmly along while I explained to Bilbo how to hold the reins. He managed to hold a relatively stable position in the saddle, holding the reins as if they were covered in something sticky.   
“Come on Nori! Pay up!” The shout from Óin caught Bilbo’s attention. Bags of coins started flying between the dwarves; three ending up in my hands.   
“What’s that about?” Bilbo asked Gandalf as the wizard rode past.   
“They took wagers on whether or not you’d turn up,” Gandalf answered. “Most of them bet that you wouldn’t.”  
“And what did you think?”  
Gandalf simply grunted as a coin bag flew into his hands from a reluctant Glóin. “My dear fellow,” he laughed, pocketing the bag. “I never doubted you for a second.”  
Bilbo smiled but then flinched slightly when the pony tossed her head.   
“Just relax,” I smiled as I rode over to him, taking Gandalf’s place as he rode up to the front next to Thorin. “Her name’s Myrtle.”  
“Myrtle,” Bilbo mumbled before looking nervously over at me. “I’ve never ridden a pony before. Never ridden any animal before actually.”  
“It’s easy, anyone can do it. Just look at Bombur.”  
“I heard that!” The large dwarf yelled back to me, making me laugh.  
“The key is to trust her. She doesn’t want you to fall. Trust her not to let you fall and she’ll trust you not to fall.”   
“Right…” Bilbo placed both reins in one hand as I had shown him and leant a hand down to her neck, patting her lightly a few times. Immediately her ears pricked forwards and she nickered slightly.  
“See? She likes you.”  
Bilbo smiled at that. “And I like you too Myrtle.” He turned to me. “What’s yours called?”  
“Angus.” I patted my monster’s neck. “He’s the youngest pony here, only eight years old.”  
“Where did you get him?”  
“I trained him, back in the Blue Mountains. Minty, over there,” I nodded behind us to Fíli’s white pony. “She’s his mother.”  
“But he takes after his father!” Fíli called to us.  
“Is that a good thing?” Bilbo asked curiously.   
“I think so,” I grinned down at my devil-spawn pony. “It means he’s a monster with anyone he doesn’t like, and occasionally with those he does.”  
“Occasionally?” Kíli called from behind me. I turned in the saddle to see him grinning manically. “How many times have you fallen off that thing?”  
“Not that many times!”  
“Last I counted it was twenty-seven.” Fíli said.  
“I thought it was twenty-nine?” Kíli questioned, pulling his eyebrows together in a mock frown.  
“No, the first time she only slipped in the saddle. And the second time she leapt off him on purpose.”  
“So she says.”  
“Alright, that’s enough!” I scolded the brothers. “I’m trying to get Bilbo to relax around the ponies, not scare him to death.”  
“It’s only your pony that should scare him.”  
“Angus is a perfectly respectful and lovely –“ As if on cue Angus suddenly bolted forward into the trees, causing me to fall forward in the saddle as he galloped past the rest of the company who angrily reined in their own ponies.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli couldn’t help but burst out laughing as the beast galloped away. He swore that thing could understand them; his timing was nothing short of impeccable.  
“Angus! Stop!” Her cries sounded from far in front of them and he could see her pulling him around in a tight circle.   
“Angus, I swear, one day my patience will reach its limits and I’ll have you baked into a pie!”  
The pony only tossed his head and with an indignant snort began trotting back towards the company.   
“You alright, lass?” Dwalin asked through badly suppressed chuckles as she passed.   
“I’m fine!” She said, far too loudly. “Angus thinks he’s so funny!”  
“He’s pretty funny, I’ll give him that.” Kíli said, laughing harder as she shot him a glare. There was something so endearing about her when she was irritated. The fact that he thought this, he knew, only irritated her further.   
“Shut up,” she growled, resuming her place in front of him and next to the hobbit.   
“So you were saying he was perfectly respectful –? “  
“Don’t you start short-arse!” Vana snapped, causing Kíli to double over in stitches. The hobbit even let out a small chuckle before he suddenly sneezed so hard he lurched forward slightly.  
“Ugh, this horse hair!” He mumbled before fumbling in his pockets. “Having a reaction. No, no, wait, stop! Stop!” The company all halted their ponies, looking questioningly back at the hobbit.  
“We have to turn around,” he stated.  
“What on earth is the matter?” Gandalf shouted from the front.  
“I’ve forgotten my handkerchief.”  
Kíli groaned audibly.The little man could not possibly be serious. He exchanged an incredulous look with his brother before noticing Vana smiling at the hobbit. She looked thoroughly amused at the scene, her lips stretched from ear to ear. It was his favourite smile, mostly because it was usually followed by her laugh. How Kíli loved her laugh. Sometimes it was soft and musical, other times it was loud and manic and brought tears to her eyes. The sight of her smiling never ceased to make him smile and, he admitted, stare. Fíli watched as his brother’s eyes found Vana’s face and smiled to himself as his expression grew soft and his eyes twinkled. His brother really was incredibly soft when it came to her, not that he saw anything wrong with that, but it was always useful as fodder for banter.  
“Here,” Bofur called over to the hobbit, tearing a piece of material from his shirt. “Use this!” He threw it to the hobbit, who caught it with ease before wrinkling his nose at the dirty, yellow material.   
“Move on,” Thorin ordered from the front and the company began to move again.

_ Vana _

The first night we stayed in the inn at Bree, deciding to enjoy the comforts of a bed for the first night of our venture. I could tell that Bilbo was relieved. The handkerchief incident had clearly embarrassed him and he didn’t seem keen to show further discomfort at the thought of sleeping outside.  
In the end we paid for three rooms, each with five beds. I shared with Bilbo, Fíli, Kíli and Thorin. Gandalf had to get his own room, being a full-sized man. We ate in the inn and then stayed behind to enjoy a few drinks. We occupied two tables with barely enough room to squeeze in; Bilbo and I ended up sharing a chair, being the smallest.   
He soon began to relax once he’d had a couple of half-pints, even managing to joke with Bofur, who was very welcoming.  
I even saw Thorin smile and laugh at a few jokes as he sat with Balin and Dwalin. I stole a few glances at Kíli when I could, returning his smiles when he caught my eye. At one point I looked over as he was sharing a joke with Nori, his face split into a loud peal of laughter, and I found myself longing to reach over and touch his face, twirl a lock of his hair around my finger, lean my head against his chest, press my lips against his warm neck…  
His eyes caught mine as I stared, and he grinned mischievously as if reading my mind. I blushed and excused myself, deciding to get myself a final drink.  
I made my way to the bar and placed my tankard on the wooden surface for a refill.  
“Just one minute lass?” The barman asked.  
“Of course, take your time.” I smiled and settled myself on a stool to wait. Barely a moment later the stool next to me scraped across the floor as a burly, black-haired man settled on to it.  
“Buy you a drink, dear?”  
“Thank you but I’ve already ordered.” I smiled politely, trying not to make eye contact.  
“Well, buy your next then?” His toothy smile made my polite smile turn into a grimace.  
“This is my last one.”  
“Aw, come on lass! The night is young! Have one more drink eh? Who knows where the night will lead?” He reached a hand over to me and I was instantly off the stool, abandoning the tankard. I turned to go back to my table when my wrist was suddenly locked in an iron grip.  
“Don’t touch me,” I said, glaring at him.  
“What’s your problem then?” He leered, pulling me closer to him.   
“Don’t touch me!” I repeated, trying to wrench my arm free, but his grip was unrelenting.  
“Too good for the likes of us?” His hands were gripping my upper arms. “Maybe you need to know your place!”   
The breath left my body in a rush as his words echoed in my head. His black hair grew longer, past his shoulders, and curled. A midnight-black beard grew on his face and his eyes grew dark and all too familiar. I wasn’t in the inn anymore, I was on a bed, pinned down, a crushing weight on my abdomen and my legs, tasting blood in my mouth, feeling hands grabbing my legs under my skirt. I was frozen; movement was impossible. My limbs were dead weight, my heart was a hammer in my chest, my head was shrieking and crying and I couldn’t make it stop.  
“Let her go.”  
A familiar voice sounded, as if a great distance away. Yet when I turned, he was right behind me. _Kíli!_  
The man laughed loudly. “Get lost, midget.” He guffawed, his hands making no move to release me.  
Within the space of a second, Kíli’s fist buried itself in the man’s stomach and he pulled me out of the man’s iron grip before grabbing hold of his shirt collar and throwing him onto the ground, pinning him with his knee on his chest.  
“I said,” he growled. “Let. Her. Go. Do you need me to clean out your ears for you? Or shall I save you future trouble and just cut them off?”  
“Kíli!” Thorin pulled his nephew off of the man, placing himself between them. I flinched as a hand touched my shoulder until I realised it was Dwalin and let him wrap a protective arm around my shoulder.   
“You alright, Vana?” He asked softly. I nodded, my throat too dry to speak. I was still having trouble breathing normally.  
“Bloody dwarves!” The man shouted, getting to his feet with a bit more difficulty than normal. He still towered over all of them. “Why don’t you all sod off back to where you came from!”  
“We intend to,” Thorin said darkly, his hand resting on his nephew’s shoulder to prevent him from attacking the man again. “Until then, you will not harm any member of my company.”  
“Company?” The man scoffed, turning back to me. “So dwarves carry a whore on their journeys after all?”  
A clang of metal sounded around the otherwise silence of the room as Dwalin, Fíli, Nori, Glóin and Kíli all drew their weapons in one fluid motion. Many of the surrounding spectators backed away as the remaining dwarves formed a protective barrier around me and the innkeep slammed a fist on the bar.  
“We’ll have no weapons in my inn! Put them away or you’ll find another place to sleep!”  
Thorin nodded to his company, who reluctantly sheathed their weapons. I kept my eyes fixed on the ground, still trying to control my breathing.  
“My apologies,” Thorin addressed the innkeep. “We were just about to retire.” He looked pointedly at us and the dwarves began to make their way upstairs, each one glaring at my harasser as they passed. Dwalin’s hand on my back gently reminded me to start walking and I slowly made my way upstairs and along the corridor to my room. Before I could open the door, Dwalin halted me with a hand on my shoulder.  
“You sure you’re alright lass?”  
“Aye, I’m fine.” I breathed, trying to force a smile. “He was just being a little pushy.”  
“It looked like more than that. You’re white as a sheet.”  
“It’s nothing, just…” I faltered as I saw his face harden. “It’s nothing. I just need to sleep now.”  
He was silent for a moment before nodding and wishing me a good night. I entered my room and immediately ran to my pack. I had stashed my knives in there and I drew one and slid it under my pillow. I felt slightly safer, though I still jumped when the door I opened. Bilbo entered and was almost immediately at my side.  
“Are you alright?”  
“I really wish people would stop asking me that.”  
“Sorry, it’s just…” he fidgeted awkwardly, looking at the floor as he spoke. “You looked very frightened.”  
“I’m fine!” I snapped, feeling my cheeks start to burn. “Just forget this ever happened, alright?”  
“Are you su-?”  
“Yes!”  
“Alright then,” he reached out and placed his hand over mine, squeezing slightly. “It’s all going to be fine.”  
I smiled at the unexpected gesture. _Gandalf was right, he really is full of surprises._  
Bilbo returned my smile for a moment before clearing his throat as the door opened and moving back to his bed on the other side of the room. Thorin, Fíli and Kíli all entered and I immediately took off my shoes and made to settle into bed.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli was fuming. He felt his head would explode with anger if he couldn’t release it. Thorin’s hand was almost painful on his shoulder as he promised the innkeep they would leave. He saw Dwalin lead Vana away as the rest of the company made their way to up the stairs. He, Thorin and Fíli were the last to leave and Kíli made sure his eyes never left the man as he passed. He made Kíli sick; he stank of ale, his hair was slick and dark with grease and his eyes wandered far too liberally over Vana. He must have known he was frightening her, they had all seen her face; her eyes wide, her skin pale, completely frozen in place. He’d seen the same expression when she had woken up in Thorin’s room moments after they found her being attacked, and then again when she had her first night terror, and then the next and the next.   
Nausea twisted Kíli’s stomach as he thought to himself, that man must have _enjoyed_ her fear. He must have _wanted_ her to be scared of him. The thought made Kíli want to march back into the bar and drive his sword deep into the man’s chest, innkeep be damned.  
“Kíli.” Thorin stopped him once they got to the top of the stairs. “Before we go in, I want to talk to you.”  
“About what?” Kíli bit his tongue at his own sarcasm. Thorin was even less impressed.  
“Don’t get smart Kíli,” he folded his arms across his chest, drawing himself up to full height.  
“Uncle,” Fíli stood next to his brother. “It’s been a long day, let’s just get some rest.”  
“I must speak to Kíli first, you need not be here.” Thorin kept his eyes fixed on Kíli as he spoke to Fíli, studying his youngest nephew’s expression. Kíli’s eyes could have shot fireballs and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.  
“I would rather stay.” Fíli stood his ground, following his uncle’s gaze to his little brother’s face.  
“Very well. Kíli, when we go in, I want you to sleep in the bed next to Vana’s.”  
“What?” Kíli wasn’t expecting this. It took all his remaining will power not to snort with laughter in his uncle’s face.   
“I want you to sleep next to her because she’s obviously very shaken, and I know you’ve always been able to calm her. She may need you tonight and it may help her to have you close by.”  
Kíli was stunned; his uncle was one of the most old-fashioned dwarves he knew. He was certain that if he had known of his feelings for Vana he would assign some, or even all, of the company to remain in between them at all times. He fought to keep a straight face as he nodded his agreement.  
“Before you do, I want to speak to her. You should take the time to calm down a bit. The last thing we need is you making her more upset.”  
Kíli bit back an angry retort, his fists clenching slightly.  _I_ _would never, ever upset Vana!_  
“Kíli, come on,” Fíli grasped his brother’s shoulder. “It’s over now, let’s just get to bed and rest. Come morning this will just be a night to be forgotten. Mahal knows we’ve had plenty of those in our time.” He grinned, and Kíli briefly returned his smile before nodding and following his uncle and brother to their room. When they entered, Vana was sitting on her bed, pulling her boots off, her face still troubled. Kíli longed to run to her, take her face in his hands and kiss the fear from her eyes. Instead he forced himself to follow his brother to the other side of the room as his uncle approached her.

_ Vana _

“Vana,” Thorin bid me to look at him with his authoritative tone. I obliged and he sat on the bed next to mine, clasping his hands together and leaning forward slightly. “Are you alright?”  
Knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to scream at him, no matter how much I wanted to, I bit back my temper and nodded.  
“I’m fine, nothing happened.”  
“You understand that I don’t blame you in any way? It’s just that this quest – well I don’t need to tell you that it’s of the utmost importance. There are many people who would try and stop us from completing it. I didn’t want to cause more of a scene and make our presence too much of a spectacle.”  
“I understand. I wouldn’t expect you to compromise the quest for any reason.”  
“Good.” He smiled briefly. “I hope you don’t think I ever condone that sort of behaviour towards women.”  
I had to smile at that. One of the first things I had learned about dwarves was their fierce regard for the safety of their women.   
“Of course I don’t. After what you did for me, I could never think that.” I stifled a gulp as my words brought the memories back once more. Releasing a slow breath I asked if I could be excused to sleep. Thorin nodded and rose to his feet, making his way to his bed.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli obediently waited by the hobbit’s bed on the far side of the room with his brother while Thorin spoke with Vana, as he had requested. Fíli began to get ready for bed as he watched them. They spoke softly so he could not hear them anyway, but the task was made even harder by Kíli’s heavy breathing.  
“Kíli?” He hissed over at his brother. “Are you alright?”  
“Of course not,” his brother answered in a dark whisper. “I should have just run that bastard through –“  
“Kíli, you know full well that wouldn’t have done any of us any good. You would have been thrown in a cell or killed and Vana certainly wouldn’t have been any less upset. Besides, it’s not as if he _did_ anything –“  
“Fíli did you not see his face?” Kíli turned his back to Vana and Thorin so she wouldn’t see how angry he was. “Did you not see _her_ face? It was obvious what he was thinking!”  
“But the point is, little brother, nothing _actually_ happened. At worst she got a fright. He wouldn’t have been able to do anything in the inn and there’s no way he would have been able to take her somewhere without one of us noticing. Try and relax, at least for her sake if not for mine?”  
Kíli bristled, his fists clenched as he imagined pounding the man into a bloody mess. He forced his face to soften before he glanced over his shoulder at Vana. Thorin had finished his conversation and was getting ready to sleep. She was already under the covers, lying on her side facing away from them out of the window. She lay utterly still, barely breathing and he could see her body had curled up into a ball under the covers. He badly wanted to go over, crawl under the covers and hold her close, whisper in her ear that she was safe and he was here, then feel her cuddle closer to him as she finally relaxed. He could bury his face in her hair, inhaling softly, be overcome with her soft scent, hold her to him with one hand across her stomach, locking his knees in behind hers, touching his feet to the soles of her feet; they were usually cold because she hated wearing shoes inside, especially in her room, and would invariably wander around with naked feet. As a result her feet were usually cold, but he could warm them up.   
“Kíli?” His uncle’s baritone broke through his chain of thought and his eyes found Thorin’s. “Shouldn’t you be getting some rest?”  
Kíli swallowed and nodded, making his way to the bed next to hers. As he got ready for bed she remained a statue under her blankets, though he could tell she wasn’t asleep. He glanced at Thorin, who was lying on his back with his eyes closed, and then at Fíli, who was lying facing him, his eyes also closed. The hobbit, however, was sitting in his bed staring over at Vana. He caught Kíli’s eye as they narrowed slightly.   
‘Is she okay?’ Bilbo mouthed, nodding at Vana. Kíli looked back to her motionless form, finally unable to stand it anymore. He stood and crept slowly around the edge of her bed. As he expected, her eyes were wide open, staring determinedly, yet unseeing, out of the window and into the night. One hand was resting under her pillow while the other was curled in front of her face, clenched into a fist. Her eyes briefly noted Kíli’s presence before reverting back to their original position. Kíli knelt next to her, glanced at Thorin to make sure his eyes were still closed, and slowly took her hand in his, pulling it gently from her face. He clasped it between both of his and waited for her to look at him. With a deep sigh, her eyes found his, shining a deep shade of green in the candlelight from her bedside table. When he saw them, his rage from before all but disappeared and he smiled. _She really is so incredibly beautiful._  
He leant in until he could feel her breath kissing his nose, his gaze never leaving hers.  
“You’re safe here,” he whispered. “I’m right next to you, if you need me. I’ll be there all night.” He watched the candle’s reflection flicker in her eyes as she nodded, squeezing his hand gently.   
“Go to sleep now? Remember something nice? Remember the first time we went riding with Daisy and Angus?” The small flicker of a smile that touched her face was enough to make him grin like a fool.   
“Think of that day? Dream of the river and the sunset and the fallen logs we raced over?”  
She nodded, and closed her eyes obediently. Kíli kissed her hand before returning it to her.  
“And remember, I’m right next to you.” He whispered in her ear, before softly kissing her forehead.   
“I love you,” he mouthed against her skin, before forcing himself to go back to his own bed. He lay down, facing her, determined to stay awake as long as he could in case she woke, but instead the events of the day and night caught up with him and he was asleep within minutes.


	4. Ghosts in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Company spends the night in the inn but it doesn't exactly go as planned.   
> However, there are elements of big-bro Fili and cute-wee-muffin Bilbo so it's not all angst!

_ Vana _

_“You need to know your place!”  
“It’s not right is it?”  
“Sleep in the stables where you belong!”  
“You must have some pretty dirty secrets!”  
“Your prince isn’t here to save you now!”  
Kíli! Kíli will come. Kíli will save me._  
 _“You are a human whore!”  
“On the bed, now!”  
Any minute now. Kíli , please._  
 _“You little cunt!”  
“You BITCH!”  
“Human whore!”  
Kíli , save me. Kíli , please._   
_“The door’s barred!”  
“Your prince isn’t here to save you now!”  
“You’re ours now!”  
Hands on my legs, under my skirt, tearing at my dress, at my underclothes, grabbing at me. This wasn’t right._ Kíli is coming. Kíli will save me. _  
“What dirty secrets have you?”  
“A virgin? Not for much longer!”  
_ “Kíli?”   
_“Your prince isn’t here!”  
_ “Kíli!”   
_“Your prince isn’t here!”  
“You’re ours now!”_  
“KÍLI!”   
My eyes snapped open to find nothing but darkness. My face was pressed against something warm and soft. My hair clung to my face and my clothes were stuck to my body, which was wrapped uncomfortably in tangled blankets. I clenched my fists but then my hand burned, slick with something hot and sticky and red; dark, dark red. _Blood!_ My mouth opened in a wordless shriek as I fought to free myself but I was trapped, pinned to a bed, no escape, no one to save me.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli’s eyes fluttered open at the mention of his name, his eyes finding Vana immediately. She was lying on her front, both hands under her pillow. She twitched slightly, letting out a soft noise.   
“Kíli,” she whispered.  
He smiled softly. _She dreams of me?_ he thought to himself a little smugly.   
“Kíli,” she whispered again, a little louder. “Kíli!” this time it was a moan.  
His smile faded when her body stiffened. Her arms went rigid and to his horror he saw a trickle of red appear from beneath her pillow.   
“Vana!” He hissed, throwing the covers from him and rolling out of bed. He dropped to his knees with a loud thump, rousing Thorin from his sleep.   
“Vana, wake up!” Kíli whispered in her ear. “You’re dreaming, Vana. Wake up now.” He shook her shoulder but she only tensed up.   
“Kíli!” She cried, her face contorting in fear as she buried her face in the pillow.  
“Kíli, what’s going on?” Thorin appeared at Kíli’s side.  
“She’s bleeding!”  
“Who’s bleeding?” Bilbo squeaked, sitting up in his bed. He gasped and leapt up as he saw Vana writhing. He went to wake Fíli but her screams did that for him.   
“KÍLI!” Her screams felt like knives stabbing Kíli in the heart and he reached under her pillow to grip her arms, yanking them out. In doing so, the knife she had clearly been gripping slid out onto the floor.   
“What in Durin’s name is going on?” Fíli demanded as he sprinted across the room.

_ Thorin _

Thorin couldn’t answer; he watched Kíli pull the girl into his arms, tightening them around her as she continued to scream and struggle. He spotted the knife on the floor and picked it up.   
“Here,” Bilbo’s voice sounded beside him as he appeared with a lit candle. Thorin held the blade beneath the flame and glowered as it dripped with blood.   
“Did you see anyone else?” He turned to Kíli , who was still struggling to calm her down.   
“No, she just started screaming.”  
“Then what is this?” He brandished the knife angrily.  
“It was under her pillow.” He answered before turning back to her, whispering in her ear.   
“Vana, it’s me. It’s Kíli, you’re safe, you’re alright. Wake up my – wake up Vana!”   
Slowly, her body relaxed as she recognised his voice and his arms. She clutched the front of his shirt, wincing as she felt the effects of her cuts.   
“Kíli?”   
“I’m here, I’m right here. You’re safe. Nothing can harm you. I’m here.”  
Thorin watched as the girl in his nephew’s arms, clutching at him like a child as she began to sob. Kíli closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head as he held her, continually whispering the same things in her ear.   
“Uncle?” Fíli caught his attention and he turned to face him.  
“Go outside,” he whispered. “See if anyone’s awake. If the innkeep or any other guests are up just tell them one of our company had a nightmare and that everything’s fine now.”  
“What about the blood?”   
Thorin silently cursed; he had forgotten about the sheets. “We’ll be gone before the maids are sent in to clean the rooms. Don’t say anything. Find Óin and get him to come quietly.”  
Fíli nodded and left the room.  
“Anything I can do?” Bilbo asked, his voice barely audible as he eyed the bloody knife nervously.   
“Yes,” Thorin said gruffly. “Clean this.” He thrust the knife at the hobbit. Bilbo stared at the blade for a moment, holding it gingerly in his hand before nodding slightly and turning to leave.   
“Wait,” Thorin whispered, grabbing the candle from the side of his bed. He lit it from Bilbo’s candle before nodding that the hobbit was dismissed and turning back to the two on the bed. Vana’s sobbing had stopped, and the candlelight showed Kíli’s shirt to be slick with blood from her hands. Her eyes were closed as she nestled into Kíli; in spite of himself, Thorin began to grow uncomfortable at their closeness.  
“Kíli, don’t let her fall asleep. Oin needs to check her hands.”  
Kíli’s face whipped up to his uncle, as if having forgotten he was there. He nodded once and leant back down to Vana, his mouth incredibly close to her ear.  
“Vana, you need to stay awake. Come on, open your eyes.”  
“Kíli,” she moaned, screwing her eyes tightly shut.  
“Please, Vana, look at me.”  
“The blood –“  
“You look at me. Don’t look at anything else. Just look at me, please?”  
She whimpered but tilted her head up and opened her eyes. Kíli smiled widely, gazing down at the girl’s tear-stained face.  
“There you go,” he said cheerily. “I know it’s not much better to look at, but it’s either Thorin’s ugly mug or mine.” He winked and she smiled weakly at him.  
“Thank you for that,” Thorin regarded his nephew with as much humour as he could muster in the circumstances. At the sound of his voice, Vana looked around at him, every hint of a smile fading as she noticed Thorin watching her, Fíli’s absence, Bilbo’s slow and unpractised cleaning of her knife and finally the blood stains on the bed sheets and Kíli’s shirt.  
“I’m sorry –“ she began to say but Kíli cut her off, turning her face back to his.  
“No, we’re having none of that Vana.” Kíli shook his head at her, still smiling. “No apologies, no feeling guilty, no more tears.”  
She leant against his shoulder, and closed her eyes, concentrating on breathing evenly.  
“Yes, your Highness,” she muttered, making Kíli chuckle.  
The door opened suddenly as Dwalin burst into the room, Fíli and Óin close on his heels. Thorin was instantly on his feet but there was no stopping his oldest friend as he made his way towards his ward.   
“What happened? How did _this_ –“ he gestured wildly at the blood-stained sheets. “- happen?”  
“Dwalin?” Vana’s voice was barely a whisper as she peered up at the huge dwarf. His face softened as he regarded her and he moved to kneel by her feet.   
“Let me see?” He reached for her hands and she reluctantly held them out in front of her. Kíli’s arm never left her shoulders.  
“It was stupid. I slept with a knife under my pillow. I thought it would make me feel safe. I must have grabbed it during the night and…it was stupid, I’m sorry.”  
Dwalin held her hands, palms upwards, in a surprisingly soft grip for such a brusque and battle-hardened dwarf. He exhaled softly at the blood that coated them before looking up at her.   
“Don’t you worry about a thing, lass,” he spoke softly and Thorin could have sworn he saw a glistening of a tear in his eye. “We’ll get your hands fixed and it’ll all be behind you.”  
She nodded and he smiled up at her. “And maybe, next time, keep your knives in their sheaths?”   
She chuckled and nodded as Kíli gave her a reassuring squeeze.   
“If I could just interrupt?” Óin made his way forward with his healer’s satchel. “I should see to these cuts.”   
“Kíli? Could I speak to you?” Fíli addressed his brother, gesturing towards the door.  
“I don’t –“ Kíli began to say before Vana interrupted.  
“You go, I’m fine now.”  
Kíli regarded her for a moment. “You sure?” he whispered.  
“Yes,” she smiled properly for the first time, reassuring him. He nodded and stood to go with his brother.

_ Fíli _

“How are you?” Fíli asked once the door was closed behind them.  
“I’m fine, why?”  
“Well…” Fíli nodded towards the door. “There hasn’t been one that bad for a while.”  
“I know,” Kíli clenched his fists, feeling the rage from the previous night reappear. “It must have been whatever that man said, or did. I wish I could cut off his–“  
“Kíli, don’t think like that.” Fíli grasped his brother’s upper arm. “It’s really not good for you to get this upset.”  
“I can’t help it Fíli!” Kíli said a little too loudly. He glanced back at the door before moving a little further away. Fíli followed, frowning slightly at his brother. He hated not knowing how to make him feel better. That had always been something he was good at, but when it came to his brother’s fierce protectiveness of Vana, he was almost always at a loss.   
“She’s my One, Fee.” Kíli whispered. “I love her, more than anything. I’m supposed to protect her and keep her safe. How can I do that when she’s in danger from her own thoughts? How am I supposed to protect her from nightmares and ghosts?”   
“You can’t Kee,” Fíli shook his head. “No one can control another person’s thoughts.”  
“I know,” Kíli said, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. “It just frustrates me. How am I supposed to make her happy if I can’t protect her?”   
“You do protect her Kíli. You bring her back from her nightmares to the real world where you are. You calm her, you make her smile, you make her forget to be scared.”  
“Is it enough though?” Kíli looked at his brother in a way that only made Fíli want to crush him in a protective hug.   
“Is what enough?”  
“Is comforting her enough to make her happy? Is it enough to show her she’s safe with me?”  
“What do you mean, Kíli ?”  
“I love her Fíli,” Kíli repeated, his eyes never leaving his brother’s. “I _love_ her. I want to marry her and have children with her and grow old with her. She’s my One. She’s my One and I can’t even make sure she feels safe enough to sleep when she’s afraid. I need to do something other than wait around for her next nightmare to comfort her. You remember our journey to the Shire? When I was able to sleep next to her she never had any nightmares. How am I supposed to comfort her properly around everyone else?”   
“You could tell Thorin about your courtship? Explain this to him?”  
“I can’t. I promised Vana I wouldn’t. She’s afraid he’ll send her back to the Blue Mountains, that he’ll see her as a distraction. It was hard enough to convince him to let her come in the first place.”  
“You could explain all this to her?”  
“What?”  
“Everything you just told me. Tell her. Tell her you love her and you want to marry her. Tell her she’s your One.”  
“She knows I love her.”  
“Does she know how much?”  
“I –“ The sound of the door creaking open caused the brother’s to whip around. Thorin stepped out, eyeing his nephews suspiciously.   
“What are you two talking about?”  
“Nothing,” Kíli answered a little too quickly.   
“I was just explaining to Kíli,” Fíli interjected. “I met the innkeep before I could get to Oin. He wants us to leave as soon as possible. Apparently there were a fair few complaints about us tonight and the commotion with Vana disturbed the other guests.”  
Thorin raised a questioning eyebrow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”   
“I was coming to tell you next. I thought you’d want to stay with Vana and Dwalin. And I didn’t want to say anything in front of her.”  
Thorin nodded slowly, studying his nephews’ expressions. “Very well, inform the others. We’ll leave as soon as Vana’s ready.” With that, he disappeared back into the room.  
Fíli turned back to his brother. “Think about it.” He said simply before clapping his brother on the arm and going towards Gandalf’s room. Kíli remained where he was for a few moments before making his way to the room where Ori, Nori, Dori, Bofur and Bombur slept.

_ Vana _

Within an hour, the company were on the road again. The sun was just beginning to rise as we departed from Bree and we were glad to see the back of it; though many of the others mourned the loss of a couple of extra hours in a real bed.   
I kept my head down as I rode, keeping Angus at the back. My hands still stung from the cuts and so I decided to trust Angus’ ability to restrain himself and left the reins sitting on my saddle. I peered at the bandages wrapped around my hands. They hadn’t needed stitches, but the cuts were still long and fairly deep. Also they were right across my palm, beneath my fingers, where my palm bent, which only made any movement I made to grip anything more painful. I couldn’t help but feel completely embarrassed.  
I started slightly as Bilbo appeared beside me, having reined Myrtle around to ride next to Angus. He nipped playfully at her neck and she responded with an indignant snort.   
“I think he fancies her,” Bilbo chuckled, patting Myrtle’s neck. I managed a weak laugh.   
“He does the same thing to most of these ponies. Besides, she doesn’t seem to return the favour.”  
“Good old girl,” Bilbo said affectionately before looking up at me. “How are your hands?”  
“Fine, thank you.” I nodded, trying not to look at them. “I’ve had worse.”  
“And how are you?” He was looking intently at me.   
“I’m fine, Bilbo, honestly.” I kept my eyes fixed on the road. “It was just a bad dream.”  
“A bad dream that makes you grip a knife so hard it sinks a quarter of an inch into your palm?”  
I made no answer.   
“Does this happen often?” Bilbo was relentless, but his face was kind. I regarded him for a moment before answering.   
“It used to happen a lot. For the first few months after it happened it was almost every night. Then it got better when I started learning how to fight and hunt. Then I got Angus and they came gradually less and less. That was the first one I had in almost a year. Occasionally I think of that night, or someone will say something or do something that reminded me of it. A few times I froze because a door slammed shut.”  
“You know, I had a cousin,” Bilbo said, making me frown at the tangent. “Well, he wasn’t my cousin, he was my mother’s cousin…or was he my mother’s second cousin…well, anyway, he had this fear of birds. If a bird flew near him, whether it was a giant eagle or a tiny sparrow, he would be utterly terrified. It was funny the first couple of times I saw it happen but then I got a bit older and I realised that it really affected him. He wouldn’t be able to breathe properly, he would burst into tears; a few times he wouldn’t leave the house for days at a time –“  
“Bilbo, I’m sorry but is there a point to this?”  
“Yes. What I was going to say was that we took him to a healer and they said they couldn’t give him anything, but then one day their neighbour, a Miss Padma Bolger –“  
I suppressed a giggle at the name. _Hobbits are such strange creatures._  
“- she suggested that every time he saw a bird, when he wanted to run, he should just close his eyes, count to ten and on every count he would list something that made him happy, or that he found relaxing. His armchair, for example. A cup of ginger tea, his favourite pyjamas, things like that. Have you ever tried that?”  
“No, but it’s not the same,” I shook my head. “The things I fear aren’t real.”  
“They’re real to you.”  
I didn’t have an answer to that. I stared at the Bilbo’s kind face. Unlike the last time we had spoken of my past, there was no trace of pity in his eyes. He seemed genuinely concerned and I appreciated that. __  
“Why don’t you try it the next time it happens?” Bilbo smiled. “You never know, it might just work.”  
“I suppose I have nothing to lose.” I agreed.

 

 


	5. Songs around a campfire.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a day late! As recompense, please have two chapters!  
> To be honest the title is fairly self-explanatory...

_Vana_

We made camp in a small clearing within the trees just off the Great East Road. A little way through the trees, Fíli and Kíli spotted a river and Kíli went to wash the dried blood from his shirt. I volunteered to take care of the ponies, still feeling slightly self-conscious around the rest of the dwarves. None of them said a word about my nightmare, other than to ask how I was, but nevertheless I preferred to be alone. I tethered all the ponies to the trees around the clearing, taking their saddles off and brushing them thoroughly. Bilbo brought me some stew from Bombur and I thanked him but told him I needed to check the ponies’ feet.  
“Vana, you’ve been riding all day and on your feet since we stopped. You need to rest.” Bilbo pestered me for a few more minutes before I eventually gave in and followed him back to the camp, clutching my bowl of stew. I sat next to Bilbo and Bofur, listening quietly to the dwarves’ conversation.  
“Are we agreed that the road through the High Pass is the best option?” Thorin addressed mainly Dwalin, Balin and Gandalf.  
“It is certainly the fastest route,” Gandalf replied. “But it is not without danger. Goblins reside within the Misty Mountains and there’s no promise that we’ll be able to pass unseen by their hordes.”  
“Trying to go around the mountains will result in many weeks’ delay,” Dwalin pointed out.  
“Either way we will need to stop before the Misty Mountains to rest and refill our supplies. There is a perfect place we can do so which will also serve to answer our questions.”  
“And where is that?” Thorin narrowed his eyes.  
“Rivendell. Lord Elrond –“  
“No.” Thorin held up a hand to stop the wizard. “I will not go near any place filled with Elves.” He spat on the ground at this last word.  
“Thorin, Lord Elrond is not a threat to us. He is an incredibly wise and decent elf. He would give us house and food for as long as we needed and if he could see the map -"  
“You would have us give up our sacred artefacts to the very people who betrayed us?” Thorin demanded, glaring furiously at the wizard. “No. We will speak no more of this.”  
“Your stubbornness rivals even that of Durin himself Thorin Oakenshield,” Gandalf groaned. “I hope you are able to put aside your pride and sort your priorities before it is too late.”  
Thorin made no answer, only throwing the wizard a final glare before he returned to his stew. A few minutes of awkward silence followed as everyone finished their dinner. Ori, Bifur and Bilbo graciously offered to wash up and I smiled in thanks to Bilbo as he took my bowl.  
“Come now,” Bofur suddenly spoke up once they had gone. “This is a fine way to camp out! We have a perfect evening, a warm, clear night full of stars, we should enjoy it. How about some music?”  
“Perhaps Miss Vana will give us a song?” Dori looked hopefully over at me.  
“Do I have to?” I frowned slightly. “I have ponies to check on.”  
“They’re fine, lass!” Glóin protested.  
“Come on lass,” Bofur nudged me. “We haven’t seen you all day.”  
“I vote Vana sings for us all.” Fíli raised his arm.  
“I second the motion!” Kíli raised his arm, trying to reach higher than his brother and starting a silent competition.  
“All those in favour of Vana singing?” Balin called. The dwarves’ arms shot into the air with a resounding “Aye!” along with Gandalf who raised his pipe. I even heard three cries of “Aye!” from within the trees where Ori, Bilbo and Bifur were washing our bowls.  
“I don’t have a choice now, do I?” I sighed.  
“None at all. Company rules.” Nori said, smiling.  
I sighed and closed my eyes, searching my mind or inspiration. To my surprise, Bofur broke the silence by whistling a slow tune and I opened my eyes to find him looking at me. He nodded at me and began to sing:

 _I'll swim and sail on savage seas,_  
_With ne'er a fear of drowning._  
_And gladly ride the waves of life,_  
_If you will marry me._

With that he nodded expectantly at me. I smiled at the familiar tune and continued the song:

 _No scorching sun, nor freezing cold,_  
_Will stop me on my journey,_  
_If you will promise me your heart,_  
_And love me for eternity._

At this I stood up, holding my hand out for Bofur’s and he joined me as we began to circle each other, our hands clasped.

 _My dearest one my darling dear,_  
_Your mighty words astound me._  
_But I've no need of mighty deeds,_  
_When I feel your arms around me._

Bofur hooked his arm though mine, spinning me faster as he sang:

 _But I would bring you rings of gold,_  
_I'd even sing you poetry._  
_And I would keep you from all harm,_  
_If you would stay beside me._

I laughed as we changed direction:

 _I have no use for rings of gold,_  
_I care not for your poetry,_  
_I only want your hand to hold,_  
_I only want you near me._

The dwarves all joined in, clapping along as we danced:

 _To love to kiss to sweetly hold,_  
_For the dancing and the dreaming._  
_Through all life's sorrows and delights,_  
_I'll keep your love inside me._  
_I'll swim and sail on savage seas,_  
_With ne'er a fear of drowning,_  
_And gladly ride the waves of life,_  
_If you will marry me,_

On the last note, Bofur grasped both my wrists in his hands and spun me around as fast as he could until we dropped to the ground with a laugh.  
“Well that went well,” Bofur spluttered.  
“Aye,” I agreed, trying to catch my breath.  
“Shall we have another?” he asked.  
“I think you’re done,” I shoved him playfully. “But I’ve thought of another if you like?”  
There was a resounding agreement from the Company and I sat up to begin again:

 _Oh the desert dreams of a river,_  
_That will run down to the sea._  
_Like my heart longs for an ocean,_  
_To wash down over me._

 _Oh won’t you take me from this valley_  
_To that mountain high above?_  
_I will pray, pray, pray,_  
_’Til I see your smiling face._  
_I will pray, pray, pray_  
_To the one I love._

 _Oh the outcast dreams of acceptance_  
_Just to find your love’s embrace._  
_Like an orphan longs for his mother,_  
_May you hold me in your grace._

 _Oh won’t you take me from this valley_  
_To that mountain high above?_  
_I will pray, pray, pray,_  
_‘Til I see your smiling face._  
_I will pray, pray, pray_  
_To the one I love._

 _Oh the caged bird dreams of a strong wind_  
_That will flow beneath her wings._  
_Like a voice longs for a melody,_  
_Oh won’t you carry me?_

 _Oh won’t you take me from this valley_  
_To that mountain high above?_  
_I will pray, pray, pray_  
_‘Til I see your smiling face._  
_I will pray, pray, pray_  
_To the one I love._  
_Oh I will pray, pray, pray_  
_‘Til I see your smiling face._  
_I will pray, pray, pray_  
_To the one I love._

By the time I had finished, my smile was no longer forced. The dwarves had started to laugh and clap along as I sang and Bilbo, Ori and Bifur had returned and joined in.  
“That’s more like our Vana!” Fíli cried over the resounding cheers. Shouts of agreement sounded.  
“Well this has been lovely gentlemen,” I got to my feet and gave a small bow. “But I won’t sleep until I’ve checked those ponies’ feet.”  
The following protests made me laugh as I made my way over to the ponies, but no one came to stop me.  
The firelight was only just sufficient enough for me to see, so I relied more on my sense of touch to assess the hooves I examined. I had just finished the first two ponies when I noticed Kíli approaching.  
“I haven’t spoken to you all day,” he said softly as I picked up Bungo’s hoof. “I’m sorry.”  
“That’s okay,” I replied, peering determinedly at the hoof. “I had a good talk with Bilbo.”  
“What about?”  
“He gave me some advice about my anxiety. I might try it the next time I…” I replaced the hoof on the ground and frowned as I found myself unable to say the words. Straightening up, I noticed that Kíli had moved closer to me. He reached out and lightly touched the bandages on the back of my hand.  
“What was the advice?”  
“To close my eyes and count to ten whilst listing things that made me happy.”  
“Have you thought of your list?”  
“I have a few ideas.” I smiled, letting my fingers twine around his. His hand was warm from his pipe.  
“Can I hear them?” I couldn’t quite see his face in the darkness, but I thought I noticed a movement that could have been a smile.  
“Well, number one would be singing.”  
“That’s a good one.”  
“Number two: Bofur’s hat.”  
“Bofur’s hat?” Was that a raised eyebrow I saw?  
“Yes, it’s magnificent.”  
Kíli laughed, his hand tracing around my wrist.  
“Number three: ponies.”  
“Of course,” his voice was soft as his fingers began to trail up my arm. I was suddenly very aware of how close everyone was.  
“Speaking of which, I have to finish with the ponies,” I said.  
“Let me help you.”  
“No, you don’t have to –“  
“Yes I do,” Kíli’s hand locked gently around my wrist. “You need as much rest as you can get. Which reminds me, I would like you to sleep next to me tonight.”  
My eyes widened in shock and I instinctively checked over Kíli’s shoulder to make sure no one had heard. With the rest of the company paying us no attention I turned back to Kíli.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I whispered. “If Thorin –“  
“Thorin asked me to make sure you were alright. He told me last night to sleep next to you so I could help you. I wasn’t able to protect you last night and I’m sorry. Please let me help you properly?”  
“You did help me.” I reassured him by taking his hands in mine, suppressing a wince as my cuts flared up. “I woke up in your arms and you made me realise I was safe. Like you always do.”  
“Then move your bedroll in between mine and Fíli’s. Fall asleep in my arms. Let me keep you safe.”  
“But the others –“  
“- Won’t know any more than we tell them. You feel safer sleeping next to me and Fíli. That is all they need to know.”  
_Sleep in between Fíli and Kíli? That does sound nice…not to mention warm…_  
I took a deep breath and nodded. “If you’re sure?” “I’m sure.” Kíli glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching and then quickly kissed me on the forehead.  
“Now let me help you with the ponies and then we’ll get to bed, no arguments.”  
“Yes, sir.” I chuckled at his attempt to sound authoritative.

Within an hour we had all settled and the Company were beginning to fall asleep, Bofur and Nori taking the first watch. I lay in between Fíli and Kíli, facing Kíli as my eyelids began to grow heavy. Kíli reached out to tentatively stroke my face, whispering “I’m right here. Just sleep, and I’ll be right here.”  
His face was mere inches from mine and I wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him. Instead, I settled for resting my hands against his chest, feeling his heart beat faintly through his shirt. With that, along with the warmth of Fíli’s body behind me, I fell asleep feeling completely safe.

_Kíli_

Kíli awoke very early the next morning. The light of dawn was just starting to break over the trees and the sun hadn’t even begun to rise yet. He glanced down to the source of his awakening; Vana’s hair was curling in his face, most of it far too close to his nose. He twisted his head out of the way and looked at her properly. She had rolled closer to him in the night and was pressing right up against him, her hands curled against his chest, one leg knitted between his. Her face was buried in his neck and her breath tickled the exposed skin above his shirt collar. She was the perfect image of tranquillity; her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling slowly with each deep breath, her mouth turned ever so slightly in a small, contented smile. He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her, resting his head against hers on his rolled up coat he was using as a pillow. She made a small noise as she nestled into him, almost like the purr of a cat and Kíli smiled and pressed his lips to her head.

_Dwalin_

Dwalin, who had taken over the watch with his brother from Nori and Bofur, watched the whole scene with a frown. He knew Vana and Kíli were close – she had been fast friends with both the princes from the day she came to Ered Luin a decade ago – but he never knew they were this close. He had suspected he had feelings for her; Kíli had always been a flirt but he never behaved that way around Vana. She had never said a word to him about the prince, however. Nor had she ever behaved differently around him. Unless she had been covering it up?  
“What troubles you brother?” Dwalin turned at the sound of Balin’s question. The white-haired dwarf looked at him curiously.  
“Nothin’,” Dwalin grunted, but looked back to the slumbering couple.  
“D’yeh think there’s somethin’ goin' on there?”  
“You mean you’ve only just noticed?” Balin raised a snowy eyebrow.  
“What d’yeh mean?” Dwalin’s frown deepened.  
“The way those two look at each other? The way he constantly looks over his shoulder to see if she’s still there? The way she smiles at him when she thinks nobody’s looking?”  
“How long have you been noticing this?”  
“Since before we left Ered Luin.”  
“And yeh never thought to mention it to me?” Dwalin growled in spite of himself. Balin, however, only smiled.  
“I didn’t think it my place to interfere. She would have told you herself, in her own time.”  
“Why would she not tell me right away?” Dwalin wondered before he suddenly realised: “Mahal! I let them travel alone together to the Shire!”  
At this, Balin let out a soft chuckle, earning himself another glare from his younger brother.  
“My dear brother, do you honestly think anything would have happened? Do you so doubt the honour of our Prince? Or that of our dear ward’s?”  
Dwalin narrowed his eyes at that before giving his brother a conceding grunt.  
“Yer right, o’course. Mahal, what do I sound like?” He clapped a hand to his face, shaking his head slightly.  
“You sound like a father, Dwalin.” Balin smiled. “Why don’t you talk to her about it when she wakes?”  
“No, not in front o’ the others. But when I get a chance, I’ll speak to her.”

_Vana_

I awoke as the sun began to rise, its rays filtering through the trees in small yellow ribbons. Kíli’s chest rose slowly beneath my hands and fell again. I smiled at the warmth that came from him, nuzzling into him before a movement from Fíli behind me reminded me there were fourteen other people around us. I blushed as I noticed Kíli’s arms wrapped around me and gently removed them as I sat up. Balin and Dwalin sat on the other side of the camp fire from me and they both smiled when they noticed me.  
“Mornin', lass.” Dwalin smiled warmly. “How’re yeh feeling?”  
“Much better, thank you.” I stretched and stood. “I might go and wash before everyone else is up.”  
“Stay close.” Dwalin reminded me as I walked towards the trees, retrieving my water-skin, small scrubbing brush and a clean shirt from my pack.

The water was freezing, but I forced myself to submerge my head in it, combing through my hair. It wasn’t deep at all so I couldn’t go for a proper swim, but I managed to wash my hair as sufficiently as I could without soap. I had taken my bandages off and the water was surprisingly soothing on my cuts. Next I removed my shirt and trousers and used my water skin to pour water over my arms, shoulders, legs and stomach, rubbing the dirt from them with my hands. I used my first shirt to dab the water from my skin before dunking it in the water and anchoring it with a rock so it could soak. I put on my new shirt and my trousers before rolling the hems up and submerging my feet in the water, rubbing my hands over them under water. Once they were clean, I retrieved my shirt from under the water and scrubbed it down quickly with the brush. Finally, I dried my hands on the grass and replaced the bandages, deciding to let Oin change them later.  
As I was about to return, Kíli emerged from the trees.  
“I woke up and you were gone,” he said, pouting slightly and making me giggle.  
“I had to bathe. I stink of horse.”  
“I respectfully disagree. You smelled lovely this morning when your hair was making its way into my nose.”  
“What?” I gaped, blushing as he began to laugh.  
“It was a strange sensation, though not as unpleasant as it might sound.” He winked and I frowned at him, shaking my head when he flashed that token grin at me.  
“We should head back.” I went to move past him but he stilled me with a hand on my arm, his face suddenly serious.  
“Wait, I want to talk to you first.” I regarded him for a moment before hanging my wet shirt on a tree branch, resigning myself to the forthcoming serious conversation.  
“What about?” I folded my arms, my head filling with any and all possible responses he could have.  
“I want to talk about…us…” Kíli was looking at the ground. “And about the other night in the inn."  
“Kíli, can we not -?” I began to shake my head.  
“No, please, I need to say this.”  
I remained silent, gripping my upper arms as I tried to remain calm. Kíli shuffled awkwardly for a few moments before speaking, keeping his eyes fixed on his feet.  
“When I saw that…that Man scaring you like that, I felt something inside me that I haven’t felt in a long time. This…this rage. This need to kill that I’ve only ever had once before. I wanted to kill that bastard right there for laying a hand on you. And then when you had that nightmare, I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t make you feel safe. I tried to comfort you before you went to sleep, I tried to wake you when I heard you saying my name, but I couldn’t and in the end you hurt yourself.” He gestured at my bandaged hands.  
I said nothing, my throat constricting and my legs tensing at the sudden urge I had to run away.  
“Fíli said it’s not good for me, to get this angry,” Kíli continued. “He said that I can’t control your thoughts or your memories, which I understand. But Thorin said I might have been upsetting you, when I got angry. I just wondered, is that true?”  
I blinked at him, surprised at this.   
Kíli upset me? Is that even possible?  
“I was upset at the whole situation,” my voice was barely a whisper and I cleared my throat before continuing. “I was embarrassed for causing a scene and for being unable to defend myself. I didn’t want any of you involved at all. And then the whole thing with the knife happened and I felt like a complete idiot.” I bit down on my tongue as a sob threatened to escape me.  
“Vana,” Kíli stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of my neck. “I saw it in your eyes. I saw how scared you were. And that’s alright. You don’t have to hide that from me, or from anyone else in the Company. We don’t judge you for it; we would probably judge you a lot more if you weren’t scared of it.”  
I managed a weak smile and looked up into his beautiful brown eyes as he smiled and continued.  
“The reason I got so angry is because I want to protect you. I never want you to feel fear or sadness ever again. When I see you upset, and there’s nothing I can do, it kills me. Every time I see it. You must tell me any time you feel even the least bit upset so I can fix it. Will you do that for me?”  
His eyes shone as he spoke, never breaking with mine. I allowed a finger to reach up and trace across his bottom lip, causing his eyelids to flutter shut for a split second. I leaned up to him, letting my lips linger just by his, barely touching.  
“Yes,” I whispered before kissing him softly. His hands moved cup my face as he kissed me back, tilting my head back slightly. For a few seconds our mouths moulded perfectly together until I pulled away to rest my forehead against his.  
“You always make me feel safe Kíli ,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist as he rubbed his nose against mine. “You always make everything better,” I continued. “I may not say it out loud, I may not even say anything, but whenever you’re with me I know I’m safe from anything, including myself. All I have to do is look at you.”  
“You’re everything to me, Vana,” he said whispered. “I love you.”  
My eyes snapped open. There they were again, those three words. Kíli’s eyes were still closed as he held me and I smiled at his beautiful face before pulling him as close as I could, pressing my face against his neck. I closed my eyes once more, breathing him in, moving my lips across his neck until I found his ear.  
“I love you, Kíli.” I whispered for the first time.  
He fell utterly still for a moment before burying a hand in my hair and nuzzling into me as I heard him mutter in my ear: “Amrâlimê”.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs used:   
> The Dancing and the Dreaming - How To Train Your Dragon  
> From This Valley - The Civil Wars


	6. Never underestimate a dwarvish snare.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of fun and games before we get back to the main story, with some laughs, a little gameplay, a dash of good-guy Thorin and even a soupçon of badass-Balin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Points to whoever spots the LOTR reference(s)...

_Vana_

By the time the sun rose above the trees we were on the move. The road was still encompassed by them, leaving us shaded from some of the summer heat. I rode next to Fíli and Kíli, keeping Angus well within the line in case he should decide to bolt again. My head was still buzzing from the words we had shared by the river.  
_Kíli loves me. And I finally said it back!_  
I had felt guilty, having not said it back the first time he told me. He had reassured me to no end that I could take my time, but I still felt that he deserved more than that. But now that I had said it back, it seemed as if a huge weight had lifted. I had no idea what I had been so nervous about now.  
_Kíli loves me, and I love him._  
The thought made a smile spread across my face.  
“What are you so happy about?” Fíli grinned at me.  
_Of course he knows exactly…_  
“Oh, you know, ponies…” I grinned back. Kíli chuckled from in between us, winking at me before turning to his brother.

As the ride continued Fíli, Kíli and I kept noticing various ground birds in the bushes as well as plump birds in the trees that would be ripe for eating. With some persuasion, Thorin eventually consented to letting us hunt for the remainder of the afternoon. Kíli dismounted and handed Daisy’s reins to Bofur in order to hunt the birds we had passed, while Fíli and I rode ahead to set traps. As we cantered past Thorin and Gandalf at the front, I spotted a pheasant flutter in a panic above my head. My hand immediately readied my bow and I spun around in the saddle, letting go of the reins as I nocked an arrow and fired. The pheasant thumped to the ground by the side of the road right in front of Thorin’s pony which spooked slightly. I let out a laugh as Fíli and I continued to canter away. Once we were a good distance away, we tethered Angus and Minty to a tree and he took out one of his many knives along with a length of tough rope from his saddle bags.  
“Right, I’ll go on ahead and set up the snares. You head back a little and start driving the game in this direction.”  
“You know your life would be much easier if you just learnt how to use a bow?” I teased. “It’s a lot faster than setting up snares.”  
“And yet, somehow, I always bring home more fresh meat than you.” Fíli gave me a playful shove.  
“I blame Kíli. He breathes so loudly, I could shoot him in the dark.”  
He laughed heartily as he set off down the road and I made my way into the trees.

After nearly an hour of trekking around the woods I had managed to shoot two more pheasants which I had gripped in one hand while I made my way quietly in Fíli’s direction. The snap of a twig made me pause and a moment later I had dropped the pheasants to the ground and spun around, arrow nocked and poised to shoot.  
With a short laugh, Kíli stepped out from behind a tree, his hands raised in a surrender. “Don’t shoot, I come in peace.”  
“Kíli , you idiot!” I hissed, storing my arrow back in my quiver. “I could have shot you!”  
“As if you’d hit me,” Kíli scoffed, dodging when I threw a punch at his shoulder.  
“Where’s your catch then?” I asked, shoving my pheasants into his arms.  
“There’s two lovely fat grouse tied to Daisy’s saddle. I hope you don’t mind, I rode ahead of the others and left her tethered with Angus and Minty. Thorin won’t be too far away now.”  
“Is Fíli back yet?”  
“He was with the ponies when I got there. He asked if we could empty his snares for him.”  
“Lazy bastard,” I shook my head and Kíli grinned.  
“Race you?” He asked before sprinting ahead of me.  
“You cheat!” I yelled before sprinting after him. For the next few minutes I chased him through the trees. Out of all the dwarves, Kíli was the fastest, but my light weight gave me more of an advantage at long distance and more often than not I could beat him in a race. Now, however, he had a head start and dwarves were natural sprinters after all. He bounded into the trees and disappeared from my sight, so I tried to take a shortcut by heading closer to the road.  
Suddenly, I felt a jarring tug in my ankle and before I could even cry out my foot was yanked out from under me and I was suspended upside down in mid-air. Breathing heavily, I looked up to find my ankle had been coiled in a rope.  
_Fíli’s bloody snares!_ I groaned as my arrows began to slide out of my quiver onto the forest floor. I had dropped my bow when I fell and I went to reach for my knives only to realise I had left them, along with my sword, in my pack.  
_I cannot believe this. This is a bloody joke. I will kill that blonde prince…_  
“Kíli!” I called loudly. I waited and no answer came.  
“Kíli!” I shouted into the trees.  
“Fíli! Thorin! Gandalf! Anybody!” I let out a loud groan when there was no answer and started trying to bend my body upwards to untie my foot. After three attempts all resulting in me flopping back to hanging like a skinned rabbit, and the rope digging further and further into my skin, I resigned to hanging there and returned to shouting for help.  
“Kíli! If you don’t get back here in the next five seconds I will personally shave what little beard you have off myself! With Glóin’s axe!”  
“Oh will you now?” I twisted around as the dark-haired prince came into view. He burst out laughing when he saw my snarl of fury and had to bend over to support himself, hands on knees. “What on earth have you gotten yourself into?”  
“I was thinking the same thing,” Fíli’s voice sounded from behind me and I twisted around, pointing at him.  
“YOU!” I growled. “You and your bloody snares! Did you even catch anything?”  
“Why yes, I caught two squirrels and three rabbits!” Fíli smirked. “Along with a young woman. All in a day’s work.”  
“Oh that’s funny, you’re a funny dwarf,” I snarled as Kíli collapsed on the ground, clutching his ribs. “Will you both stop laughing and HELP ME?”  
“What in Durin’s name is all this?” Another deeper voice joined the fray. I turned to see Thorin, Dwalin and Gandalf staring at the scene before their eyes with utterly bemused expressions. Before long, both Gandalf and Dwalin were chuckling, Gandalf leaning on his staff, Dwalin’s arms resting on the top of his battle axe, while Thorin suppressed a laugh as he stalked towards us.  
“What happened?” He addressed me, trying his best to ignore that I was upside down with a bright red face – partly because of the sheer humiliation, partly because of all the blood draining there.  
“Ask your nephew!” I said, pointing at Fíli, who continued to smirk.  
“I never asked you to run right into one of my snares! You shouldn’t have got distracted!”  
Thorin’s eyes shot to his younger nephew, who was pulling himself to his feet, red-faced with laughter and gasping for breath.  
“Distracted?” he asked.  
“We were racing,” Kíli breathed, unable to wipe the grin on his face from the sight of me struggling against the snare. “I won though.”  
This had me twist around in the rope so hard it actually started swinging, making him laugh all over again.  
“You did not win!” I all but shouted. “It doesn’t count when your opponent is hanging from a tree!”  
“Enough!” Thorin barked, angrily. “Dwalin, get her down. We’ll have no more of this nonsense. No more hunting!” He stormed back to where the company were waiting with the ponies on the road. Gandalf shook his head at us, still chuckling and followed Thorin.  
With a final chuckle, Dwalin walked over to the tree where the rope was strung and, with a swing of his axe, severed it so I fell to the ground with a loud grunt. He leant his axe against the tree before helping me up while Fíli and Kíli rushed forward to help gather up my arrows and my bow.  
“We’re sorry Vana,” they apologised as they made their way back to the company, but all I offered them were glowers and muttered curses.

I rode next to Bilbo for the remainder of the day, determined to let the princes stew in their own guilt. It was futile, however. They had far too much fun telling everybody else exactly what had happened to delay us. The trees thinned out and the path began to twist and turn down steep hills and rocks. We were getting closer to the open plains before the mountain ranges. I asked Bilbo some more about the Shire and he was more than happy to answer my questions. He told me of the fireworks Gandalf would set off on Midsummer’s Eve, of the country dances thrown on the fields below his house and the lights that would decorate every tree. He told me of his relatives, the ‘Sackville-Bagginses’, who would attempt to steal his silverware, of his parents and his friends from the Green Dragon.  
He spoke so fondly of everything about his life back there; I was beginning to understand why he was so unused to life out here.  
“So Hobbits usually have seven meals a day?” I asked, shocked at this new piece of information.  
“Well, yes, though if it’s a busy day some will forgo second breakfast. I’ve always found that to be one of the essential meals myself.” He then frowned slightly. “Do dwarves not have similar diets.”  
“They don’t have seven separate meals,” I laughed. “When they do eat, though, they eat a lot.”  
“So I saw,” Bilbo glowered at the grim thought of his empty pantry. “How do they stand it on the road though?”  
“They’re used to it, I suppose.” I replied.

The sun was just beginning to set when Thorin called for us to make camp. We were at the top of another descent down a cliff face, but there was a great set of rocks and boulders at the top that concealed our site from the elements and, hopefully, from prying eyes. The shelter allowed us to build a fire and there was an indent in the boulders where he ordered Fíli and Kíli to keep watch from. Bofur and I were assigned to the ponies and we tethered them to a small group of trees opposite the boulders. Bombur, Bifur and Nori set about skinning the rabbits Fíli had caught and then Bombur began cooking a game stew while Bifur and Nori wrapped the remaining meat and packed it away.  
“Vana?” I placed the last of the pony’s saddles on the ground before looking up. Fíli and Kíli were standing before me, looking suitably guilty.  
“Yes?” I asked, straightening up. The princes looked at each other before turning back and saying, in complete synchronisation:  
“We’re sorry.” They peered at me with wide eyes, like two little puppies. I fought to keep my expression stern, raising an eyebrow and placing my hands on my hips.  
“Is that so?” I asked. They nodded and kept staring at me, knowing they were wearing me down. I took a deep breath and looked at the ground, before launching myself at them, bowling into Kíli’s stomach and grabbing the front of Fíli’s coat as we collapsed to the ground in a heap.  
“That’s for leaving me to hang like a piece of game!” I cried as they gaped at me.  
“You minx!” Kíli cried and grappled with me, but I refused to let him up.  
“Need some help little brother?” Fíli asked, pinned beneath my free arm.  
“Yes please!” Kíli yelped and Fíli suddenly pulled me on top of him by my arm. I screamed as Kíli suddenly grabbed me around the waist, tickling my ribs and my stomach.  
“NO! You bastard!” Fíli laughed and joined in, his fingers scrabbling at my neck and under my arms.  
“Help! I’m outnumbered!”  
“Come on now, lads, that’s enough.” We looked up as Balin approached us, smiling cheerily. His smile soon faded when Kíli suddenly launched himself at the old dwarf tackling him to the ground with a laugh. Balin let out a loud groan as he thumped to the ground, unmoving. Fíli and I sat up, our eyes wide in shock and the rest of the company watched nervously as Kíli stood up, his face plastered in fear.  
“Mister Balin? I’m so sorry! Are you ok-AARGH!”  
Before he could finish his question, Balin’s hand leapt out and grabbed Kíli’s leg, yanking it out from underneath him so he fell on his back with a thud.  
“Well-played Mister Balin,” he grunted as the dwarf leapt nimbly to his feet.  
“I am older, laddie, that is true.” Balin’s smile was back. “But I’m still spry!”  
With that, he sauntered back to the company while Fíli and I wept with laughter.  
“See this,” I gestured at Kíli, still sprawled on the ground, his face bright red from his humiliating plight. “This just became number four on my list.”  
When we settled down to sleep finally, the sun had long since gone.

*

I rolled over and groaned as another root dug into my back. Or was it the same one?  
_I don’t know. I don’t care anymore. Bombur’s snoring is one thing, but this damn ground…_  
I sat up, rubbing a hand over my face and glanced over at the fire burning a few feet behind me. Fíli and Kíli were sitting with their back against one of the huge boulders ‘keeping watch’ (translation: smoking and playing with twigs). I wrapped my cloak around me and made my way over to them. Both brothers smiled as they saw me approach and motioned for me to sit between them.  
“Can’t sleep?” Kíli asked quietly.  
“Not a wink.”  
“You’re not the only one,” Fíli whispered, gesturing over towards where the ponies were tethered. I followed his gaze and spotted Bilbo standing by his new friend Myrtle, sneaking her an apple from his pocket.  
“Don’t tell Bombur,” Fíli chuckled. Before I could respond a loud screech pierced the air, making me jump. Bilbo whipped around in fright, his eyes hurriedly finding us.  
“What was that?” he called softly over to us.  
“Orcs,” Kíli answered softly. I frowned at him. It was most likely an animal and he knew it.  
“Orcs?” Bilbo ran over to us, peering behind him into the night.  
“Aye,” Fíli nodded, to my surprise. “Throat cutters. There’ll be dozens of them out there. The lone-lands are crawling with them.”  
_What on earth are you two doing?_ I frowned at Fíli next and he responded with a quick wink. I rolled my eyes but before I could stop him, Kíli was already continuing the joke.  
“They strike in the wee hours when everyone’s asleep,” he said with the most serious look he could muster. “Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood.”  
Bilbo’s eyes widened as he looked around him nervously. I elbowed Kíli hard in the ribs when he started chuckling, which only amused him more.  
“You think that’s funny?” Thorin’s stern voice silenced him as he came around from the side of the boulder. Both brothers had the sense to avert their eyes as he approached his face solid as the stone behind us. “You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?”  
“We didn’t mean anything by it,” Kíli muttered, not looking his uncle in the eye.  
“No you didn’t,” Thorin growled as he turned away. “You know nothing of the world.” He marched away, past Gandalf who was smoking quietly against a tree, to the other side of the camp, keeping his back to us as he stared over the edge of the cliffs into the night. The two brothers shuffled awkwardly and I gave them both a look that said “I told you so.”  
“Don’t mind him, laddie,” Balin appeared next to Fíli, leaning against the boulder. “Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs.” Fíli gave him a questioning look before turning to stare at Thorin. Members of the company were beginning to stir and Bilbo moved closer to the fire to hear what Balin had to say.  
“After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thrór tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had got there first. Moria had been taken by legions of orcs led by the most vile of all their race: Azog the Defiler.”  
I frowned slightly. I recognised the name from a past conversation with Balin. It rang with ruin and death. I glanced at Kíli who was staring intently at Balin, willing him to continue.  
“The giant Gundabad orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King. Thráin, Thorin’s father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing; taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us.”  
I could almost hear the ring of swords and the clash of shields as he spoke. His words painted pictures of blood and death in my mind and I could almost envision Thorin’s grief as he watched his family fall. I glanced over at him; he remained a statue against the backdrop of the night sky, clearly listening along with us.  
“That is when I saw him. A young Dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc. He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armour rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield.”  
This part I recognised from years ago. The first time I met Balin I had asked about Thorin’s name, acquired from a terrible battle in which an oak branch saved his life.  
“Azog the Defiler learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, nor song, that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then; there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King.”  
At these last words, Thorin turned back to face us; the company had all woken and some had even stood to acknowledge their leader as he made his way back to us. His expression had softened and he nodded to each of us as he passed.  
“And the Pale Orc?” Bilbo asked Balin. “What happened to him?”  
“He slunk back into the hole whence he came,” Thorin’s expression turned sour once more as he answered the hobbit. “That filth died of his wounds long ago.” With that he settled back onto the rock he had been sleeping on, deliberately facing away from Bilbo, who seemed to shrink slightly where he sat. Slowly, the rest of the company began to settle back down. Bombur was asleep within minutes.  
“Well,” Bilbo said softly, looking over at me. “That was quite a story.”  
“Aye,” I agreed. “I never realised Thorin actually fought the Pale Orc himself.” I glanced at Kíli whose face was a dark shade of red.  
“Are you alright?” I asked him quietly. His eyes remained fixed on the ground.  
“I never would have made that joke if I knew,” he whispered. “So stupid.”  
“I feel terrible.” Fíli shook his head slightly, chewing nervously on his pipe.  
“You didn’t mean any harm. Thorin knows that.” My weak attempt to make them feel better made Fíli smile slightly.  
“You two should get some sleep. I can take over the watch.” I stood up and Kíli’s head whipped up to look at me.  
“No, you don’t have to do that.”  
“Please? I’ve gotten all the sleep I’m going to get tonight anyway. You two get some rest.”  
“You sure?” Fíli asked.  
“Yes,” I insisted. “As your mother says; everything will look better in the morning.”  
The brothers smiled at the reference; Dis was renowned for being notoriously right about everything.

_Kíli_

Kíli smiled at the thought of his mother. The first time she had said those words to him was when he was very young. He had woken screaming from a nightmare and Fíli had been unable to calm him. Dis had hurried into their room and held him close, eventually including Fíli in their shared bed. She waited for them to stop crying and then urged them to go back to sleep ‘because everything will look better in the morning.’  
She had been so right. Kíli awoke the next morning with Fíli’s arms around him and had completely forgotten the nightmare.  
At Vana’s urging, he and Fíli stood from their small fire and began to make their way over to the sleeping company before Fíli’s hand on his arm stilled him and he turned to face his brother.  
“Do you think we should speak to Thorin?” Fíli whispered. “Apologise?”  
“Isn’t he asleep?” Kíli looked over to his uncle’s motionless form.  
“Would you be?” Fíli followed his gaze. With a last glance at his brother he nodded for him to follow and crept over to Thorin, Kíli keeping close behind. The blonde prince knelt next to his uncle, who sat back against the rocks with his eyes closed.  
“Uncle?” Fíli whispered. Thorin’s eyes were open instantly, frowning slightly at his nephews.  
“What is it?” He asked.  
“We just wanted to apologise,” Kíli knelt beside his brother, his face growing hot. “About earlier. We were just messing about with the hobbit.”  
“We never would have said such things had we known -"  
“It’s alright.” Thorin leant forward and raised a hand to silence them. “I know you meant no harm. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I was angry. Forgive me?”  
The brothers were astonished. They certainly hadn’t expected this response. They nodded, unsure what else to say.  
“You should get some rest,” Thorin said, sitting back against the rock. “We have an early start tomorrow.”  
“Uncle?” Fíli said timidly.  
“Yes?”  
Kíli caught his brother's eye briefly before turning back to their uncle.  
“May…may we stay with you?”

_Thorin_

Kíli stared up at Thorin as he asked this and Thorin’s mind was suddenly flooded with images from when they were dwarflings. They used to ask him the exact same question after babysitting them for his sister. He remembered the winter she was very sick; when he was told she might not make it. He had been inconsolable, the thought of losing his last sibling nearly driving him over the edge – until Fíli and Kíli had appeared in the door to the healing house, Fíli gripping his toy sword in one hand and his brother’s hand in the other, Kíli clutching his small, stuffed bear Bifur had made for him.  
“Uncle? May we stay with you?” Fíli had asked in his small voice. Kíli had simply stared wide-eyed at him. Somehow the sight of them, frightened and upset, had anchored Thorin back to reality and he had scooped the boys into his arms, hugging them close as he made his way back to his chambers. That night, he had slept with one arm around each nephew after comforting them when they cried and promising them he would take care of them, no matter what happened.  
Thorin stared at his now fully-grown nephews as the memory filled his mind. They gazed at him with such admiration and such trust; it was all it took to stop from pulling them both into his arms right there. Instead, he simply swallowed and said “Of course you can.”  
They grabbed their bedrolls and settled on the ground, on either side of him. He moved off the rock to sit on the ground between them and smiled slightly as their eyes slid shut. Minutes later they were asleep, Fíli leaning against his shoulder, Kíli’s head slipping under his arm to lie against his chest. Thorin frowned for a moment, wondering how it must look for two grown princes to be snuggling up to their uncle like children. The thought soon passed however and he resolved to wake up early, before anyone else could see.  
He settled an arm around Kíli and leant his head against Fíli’s as he drifted to sleep himself.

_Vana_

I watched the scene with a small smile. Fíli and Kíli were curled against their uncle like a couple of cats and he clearly was enjoying it.  
“They’re quite a picture aren’t they?”  
I chuckled as I heard Dwalin take a seat beside me. “Aye. If Dis were here…”  
“She’d have a thing or two to say.” I turned to face my guardian, my smile fading slightly at the thought of Dis.  
“What do you reckon she’s thinking right now?”  
Dwalin sighed. “She’s probably planning on how she can catch us up and persuade all of us to come home. That or playing a thousand scenarios in her head of how this could end.”  
“It must be so awful for her; her only remaining family gone…”  
“Aye, she was furious when Thorin first told her. Said she didn’t want a repeat of Frerin.”  
I noticed Dwalin’s face fall slightly at the mention of Thorin’s younger brother’s name.  
“What was he like?” I asked. I had heard surprisingly little of Thorin’s younger brother. Dis had told me about him a few times, but Thorin, as far as I could tell, barely spoke of him.  
“He was…” Dwalin faltered slightly. “He was kind, light-hearted, funny, and extremely fond of beratin’ Thorin and I. Always wantin’ to join us when we sparred or went huntin’. Before the battle of Azanulbizar, he begged his father and grandfather for almost three days straight to join us. He was driven into the woods by the orcs, along with many of our kin, includin’ my father, Fundin.” His eyes darkened as his voice lowered to a growl. “Those bastards hunted them through the woods, trackin’ them down and cornerin’ them like animals. It took us nearly two days to find all the bodies.” He looked up at me as he continued. “I was there when Thorin found him. With the loss of his grandfather and his father havin’ gone missin’, the death of his brother almost drove him mad. He sat with Frerin’s body for hours. There was nothin’ I could say or do to make him leave.”  
I reached out and placed my hand over his, taking care to avoid the metal armour coating his knuckles. He smiled at my gesture.  
“Frerin never had the burden of bein' heir on his shoulders, and as a result he was very carefree and adventurous, to the point of almost bein’ reckless.”  
“Now who does that remind me of?” I grinned and looked over my shoulder to Kíli. Dwalin chuckled and patted my hand, making me look back at him.  
“You’re fond o’ the young prince,” he observed. I immediately blushed, much to my dismay.  
“He’s…he is a good friend to me. As is Fíli.”  
“Lass,” Dwain raised a bushy eyebrow. “I may be an old, blood-lustin’ warrior, but I’m not blind. And neither is anyone in this company.”  
“What do you mean?” I frowned.  
“Vana, my dear, yer a very talented warrior, a fine dancer and an excellent singer, but yer a truly terrible liar.”  
I ducked my head, pulling my hand from his to try and cover my red face.  
“Do you think Thorin knows?”  
“I’ve no idea. I’ve not asked him. If he does he’s clearly not worried about it.”  
I glanced worriedly around at Thorin, almost worried he would hear this somehow. He hadn’t stirred; of course not, he was fast asleep.  
“You don’t want him to know?” Dwalin frowned.  
“Kíli and I thought it might be best.”  
“He’s not ashamed of you, surely?”  
“No, it was actually my idea.”  
Dwalin’s frown deepened and I took a deep breath as my face grew warmer.  
“I can’t imagine Thorin being happy about one of his heirs courting someone who is not of noble blood, let alone a human.”  
“Why would yeh think that?”  
“Come on Dwalin,” I shrugged. “I’m grateful to Thorin for taking me in, and I owe all of you, yourself and Balin especially, for accepting me as one of your own. But at the end of the day I’m still just a human girl with no name and no prospects.”  
“Don’t say that!” Dwalin hissed. “I adopted yeh; I gave yeh my family braid. For all intents and purposes, yer my daughter. It was Thorin who approved that. He welcomed yeh into our lives and Balin and I are honoured to call yeh family.”  
“Nevertheless, Thorin is a king and soon he will have his kingdom back; the greatest kingdom to be found in this world. Kíli is an heir to that very kingdom, if he doesn’t become King he will certainly be a Prince. He’ll be expected to marry a noble dwarrowdam and produce dwarrow heirs. Thorin has every reason in the world to oppose our relationship.”  
“Is that what yeh want?” Dwalin regarded me with an expression I couldn’t read.  
“Excuse me?” I blinked at the strange question.  
“D’yeh want Kíli to marry a dwarrowdam? To spend his life with another?”  
“Well…it’s not about what I want -"  
“Because if that’s the case,” Dwalin cut me off with an almost fierce tone to his voice. “Why even accept Kíli’s courtship in the first place?”  
“I…” My mouth hung open as my mind went blank. His words were true, my actions made no sense when compared with my words. I had never told Kíli exactly why I wanted to keep our relationship a secret. I had said I didn’t want Thorin to think we were distracted and I had wanted to avoid the attention from the rest of the company.  
“I think,” Dwalin scooted closer to me, his voice much softer now. “It’s because yeh don’t believe a word yeh just said. I think yeh accepted Kíli’s courtship because it’s what yeh want.”  
I stared blankly at Dwalin, no words forming in my mind.  
“Vana,” He continued. “I’ve known Thorin most of my life. He may be gruff and old-fashioned, but he understands one or two things about love. He saw it in his parents and he saw it in his sister and his brother-in-law. When it comes down to you and his nephew, the fact that you’re a human will be the farthest thing from his mind. He and I have watched you grow the past ten years from a nameless girl into a brave, strong warrior with not only a name but a family, steadfast honour and a heart of gold.”  
My heart beat hard against my chest at his words. It was a rare occasion where Dwalin, son of Fundin, would speak so many warm words at one time.  
“I just want yeh to be happy, lass,” he finished his speech and brought his hand up to my face, stroking my cheek once before moving back over to his bedroll. I wasn’t sure how long I sat staring at the dying embers before a low light split over the horizon, hinting that dawn was close. I quietly began to pack away my things, hurrying over to wake Thorin when I noticed Bofur stirring. I assumed he would not want to be seen cuddled up with his nephews.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there was fluffy Dwalin...


	7. Of Burglars and Trolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else can I say really? #hobbitproblems #seriouslywtfwerefiliandkilidoing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologise to the great man himself for the hashtags. Tolkein is probably rolling in his grave right now...#sorrynotsorry

_ Vana _

The morning had brought with it enough dark clouds to cover any of the usual blue sky. Occasionally the sun peeked through thinning wisps of grey cloud but the day was still noticeably darkened – and subsequently so were the moods of the Company. Usually, when it rained, the dwarves had their mountain halls and caverns to shelter in, along with a roaring fire and a hot meal, but there was none of that out here. We at least managed to make it to the bottom of the hill before the rain started, but from then on it was a good few hours of trudging through the forest mud.   
I personally didn’t mind the rain, in fact once I had given up on my soaked hood and pulled it down over my equally sodden coat, I quite liked the refreshment. My braid soon hung heavily on my shoulder and I could feel trickles of water creeping into the collar of my shirt, but I threw my head back to feel the rain on my face and it made everything better.   
“Are you actually enjoying this?” Fíli called from beside me. I looked over and grinned at him; his hood stuck to his face and covered his right eye when he tried to look round at me, forcing him to keep pulling it off of his face.  
“It’s just a bit of rain!”  
“I feel like a fish trapped in a net,” Fíli grumbled, tugging his cloak tighter around him. I had purposely tucked my cloak away into my pack to keep it dry.   
I laughed at the sight of the Company; Fíli and Kíli both glared at me as their hoods stuck to their faces; Bilbo simply held his reins solemnly, his hair plastered to his face; Bofur grudgingly tried to smoke his pipe without much success.  
“Here, Mister Gandalf?” Dori called to the wizard who was at the front. “Can’t you do something about this deluge?”  
“It is raining Master Dori,” Gandalf called over his shoulder. “And it will continue to rain until the rain is done. If you wish to change the weather of the world you must find yourself another wizard!”   
Dori simply grumbled in response.   
“Are there any?” Bilbo asked Gandalf.   
“What?” He responded gruffly.   
“Other wizards?”   
“There are five of us,” Gandalf answered him in his story-telling voice, which prompted me to urge Angus into a trot to catch up with Bilbo and listen intently.   
“The greatest of our Order is Saruman the White. Then there are the two Blueses…you know I’ve quite forgotten their names…”  
“And who is the fifth?” I asked eagerly, flashing a quick grin at Bilbo who smiled back.   
“Well, that would be Radagast the Brown.”  
“Is he a great wizard or is he…more like you?” Bilbo asked with a wink at me. I stifled a laugh, trying to pass it off as a cough as Gandalf turned to face us slightly.  
“I think he’s a very great wizard, in his own way,” he paused to raise an eyebrow at my stifled giggles. “He’s a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too, for always, evil will look to find a foothold in this world.”  
The ride continued on in relative silence until eventually the rain stopped at midday. The dwarves brightened at the appearance of the sun, removing their wet cloaks and hoods. I let go of Angus’ reins for a moment to ring the water out of my braid.   
“I think rain is going to be number four on my list,” I told Bilbo and Kíli, who only looked at me like I was crazy.

By the early evening we had passed through the forest and come across the crumbling ruins of a house just outside of the trees.   
“We will camp here for the night.” Thorin announced as he dismounted. We all followed suit and Gandalf handed the reins of his horse to me as he went to inspect the ruined house.   
“A farmer and his family used to live here,” I heard Gandalf say to himself.   
“Fíli, Kíli, look after the ponies,” Thorin continued to issue out orders as he walked towards Gandalf. “Make sure you stay with them. Óin, Glóin, get a fire going. The rest of you set up camp.”  
I handed Gandalf’s horse off to Fíli who led him away to the trees to be tethered and turned to untie my pack from Angus’ saddle.   
“I think it would be wiser to move on,” I heard Gandalf say to Thorin. “We could make for the Hidden Valley.”  
“I have told you already,” Thorin growled. “I will _not_ go near that place!”  
I stilled, unable to help listening harder.   
“Why not?” Gandalf asked, impatiently. “The Elves could help us! We could get food, rest, advice. “  
“I do not need their advice.” Thorin stated, facing the wizard.   
“We have a map that we cannot read, Lord Elrond could help us.”  
“Help?” Thorin’s voice was dangerously soft; I almost couldn’t hear him. “A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls. The Elves looked on and did _nothing_!” The last world was almost a snarl. I looked around to see him take a few steps towards the wizard, his expression dark. “You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather? Betrayed my father?”  
“You are neither of them,” Gandalf was clearly holding on to his remaining patience with his fingertips. “I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past!”  
“I did not know that they were yours to keep!” Thorin snapped. I watched, frowning as Gandalf bristled, clearly biting back a sharp retort. I was so engrossed in the scene that I jumped slightly as I felt a hand touch my shoulder.   
“Are you alright?” Bilbo asked. Before I could answer Gandalf had stormed past us, mumbling something indiscernible under his breath and shaking his head.   
“Gandalf, where are you going?”   
“To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.”   
“Who’s that?”  
“Myself Master Baggins!” Gandalf snapped without looking back. “I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day!”  
“Is he coming back?” Bilbo asked quietly.   
“I hope so,” I replied, dumping my things on the ground before pulling Angus’ head up from the grass (an action which took three attempts.) Bilbo did not look convinced.   
“Come on Bombur, we’re hungry,” Thorin’s voice sounded across the camp. I turned to see him stare incredulously at me. “Vana, I want to speak with you now.”  
“Alright, just let me take Angus –“  
“I said _now!_ ”   
I flinched slightly at his sharp tone, my face growing hot. I turned to see the rest of the company looking in my direction.   
“I’ll take him,” Bilbo said kindly, holding his hand out for the reins. I handed them over reluctantly and went towards Thorin.   
“Yes?” I forced myself to sound cordial.   
“How much sleep did you get last night?” He asked without looking at me. He was staring determinedly into the distance, over the plains that lay before us and into the mountains.   
“Not much, why?”   
He turned around and his piercing blue eyes met mine. “I do not want a repeat of Bree,” he said simply and my face flushed with the memory.   
“We are no longer in the safety of a village,” he continued. “Out here any noise could attract unwanted attention; wolves, vagabonds, bandits.”  
“It won’t be a problem,” I said, trying desperately to keep the venom out of my voice.   
“Are you sure of that?” Thorin eyed my bandaged hands.   
“It won’t happen again.” I forced myself to take a deep breath. “Bree was a one-off. I had an incident with a disgusting man, I had a nightmare, I woke up. It’s over.”   
Thorin held my gaze for a few moments, his face stern.   
“You will sleep near myself and Dwalin tonight. One of us will be on watch so we can wake you if necessary.”  
“I don’t need a babysitter!” I snapped, in spite of myself.   
“You will do as I say!” Thorin said loudly. “I will not risk our safety for the sake of your pride.”  
“ _My_ pride!” I let out a snort. “Remind me again why we are not sleeping in the comfort of Elven beds tonight?”  
Thorin’s eyes flashed furiously as he stepped right up to me. He was not taller than me, but he was much bigger and I couldn’t help but gasp as his face moved dangerously close to mine.   
“Do not speak of matters which you don’t understand, _woman_!” He hissed. “You will do as I say, or you will pack your things and return to the Blue Mountains!”  
“What’s going on?” We both turned to see Kíli frowning at us. “Uncle?”  
“Kíli, get back to the ponies.” Thorin turned back to me. “You remain at the camp. No more insolence.”   
I glared at him, trying to shout my angry retort to him with my eyes before inclining my head.   
“Yes, my king.” I let the sarcasm hang heavily in the air as I turned to walk back towards the camp, snatching up my things on the way.   
“Vana?”   
“It’s fine, Kíli . Don’t worry about it.” I spotted Dwalin’s pack and dumped my things next to it, untying my bedroll from the top of my pack.   
“What did he say to you?”   
“He said I was to sleep near Dwalin and that if I had another nightmare I could endanger you all.”   
Kíli knelt next to me, placing his hand on top of mine. I stilled at his touch, feeling his warmth seep into my veins.   
“Are you worried you might have another one?”   
I didn’t respond at first. He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.   
“A little,” I whispered. “When I sleep next to you I feel safe. But sleeping by myself in this place? What if it does happen again?”   
“We will make sure you wake up.”  
“Thorin said it might attract unwanted attention. I think he’s looking for an excuse to send me back.”   
“Why would he do that?” Kíli removed his hand from mine and looked back to his uncle, who was deep in conversation with Dwalin and Balin.   
“He obviously still sees me as a burden.”  
Kíli looked back to me, his expression fierce. With a quick glance around to make sure no one was looking, he took my hand in his and pressed it to his lips.   
“You are _not_ a burden. You are smart woman, a brave fighter and a fair hunter when you’re not getting caught in snares.”  
I glared at him for that last comment.   
“You belong on this quest as much as any of us. You’re part of Dwalin’s family, you’re part of this company and you’re a part of me now.”  
He smiled as I blushed, tapping the tip of my nose with his finger. “Thorin’s just tired and grumpy. He says things without thinking sometimes. He knows if he ever tried to send you home Fíli and I would follow and bring you back -”  
“Kíli!”   
We both jumped at Thorin’s shout. He was glaring over at us. “Get back to the ponies and stay with them!”   
Kíli nodded and leapt to his feet. “I’d better go, come and see me later?” He winked before walking quickly towards the ponies. I felt my face grow hot at his suggestion; I knew I probably shouldn’t sneak away from the camp. Then again the prospect of a few minutes alone with Kíli was very tempting.

The night drew in and Bombur used the squirrel meat to make a stew. It wasn’t the most delicious meat, but the stew was warm and I began to relax. I queued behind Ori and Nori to get my stew from the simmering pot. Bofur dished out the bowls to the brothers while Bombur stood hopefully behind him, bowl in hand. He had already eaten two helpings. Meanwhile, Bilbo stood with his back to us, staring in the direction Gandalf had gone in.   
“He’s been a long time,” he pointed out, turning back and wandering nervously over to us.   
“Who?” Bofur asked absent-mindedly as he dished out two more helpings.   
“Gandalf.”   
“He’s a wizard,” Bofur shrugged. “He does as he chooses.” He dumped the ladle back into the pot and presented the Hobbit with the two bowls. “Do us a favour? Take these to the lads will you?” He nodded towards Fíli and Kíli and turned back to snatch the ladle out of Bombur’s grip. “Stop it! You’ve had plenty!”   
Bilbo looked back out over the plains.   
“Stop worrying Bilbo,” I said as Bofur filled my bowl with stew. “Gandalf won’t abandon us. He’s far too invested in this quest.”  
“I hope you’re right,” Bilbo mumbled before walking over towards the ponies.

I sat next to Ori as I ate, looking over his shoulder as he flicked through his sketchpad, his bowl of stew balanced on his lap.   
“Did you draw that in Bag End?” I indicted the intricately sketched fireplace. He had even inked in the two portraits Bilbo had hung above his mantelpiece.   
“Yes,” Ori nodded. “It was the warmest I’d been in weeks. Though it made me miss home.” He paused to take a small spoonful of stew. “I drew this too.” He flipped he page and lifted the next one out to show me; it was a drawing of Bilbo’s front door from the outside, surrounded by his flowers.   
“These are lovely, Ori,” I grinned. “Have you shown Bilbo these?”  
“No, I was worried it might make him sad.”   
I considered that for a moment. “You might be right. Better not then. Say, do you think you could draw me?” I looked at him hopefully. His eyes seemed to light up at the prospect.   
“Oh I think I could. I much prefer doing portraits!”   
“Maybe not tonight, though.” I ran a hand down my braid. “Give me a chance to wash my hair?”   
“Alright, though you know you’ll have to sit still while I draw you?”   
“I can sit still!” I pretended to be offended.   
“Vana I don’t think I’ve ever seen you sit still for more than ten minutes in all the time I’ve known you.”   
“Slander and calumny!” I punched him lightly on the shoulder.   
“TROLLS!”   
We leapt to our feet as Fíli’s shout burst through the trees, followed by the dwarf himself. “Trolls!” he panted. “In the woods…got the ponies…Bilbo…”  
“You sent Bilbo after trolls by himself?” I shouted with infuriation.   
“No, Kíli’s watching him.”   
“Please tell me you didn’t tell him to hoot like an owl?”  
“How many?” Thorin strode forward to his nephew, sword and oak shield in hand.   
“Three.”  
“Right,” He turned to the rest of us as we gathered our weapons and ordered loudly: “Du bekar! Let’s go!” before leading us into the trees, followed closely by Fíli who directed us to the trolls’ campfire. As we neared the troll’s fire, Bilbo was in the troll’s clutches, dangling upside down from one of their fists and I couldn’t see Kíli anywhere. Behind the trolls, Myrtle, Minty, Daisy and Bungo were enclosed in a crudely thrown together enclosure, whinnying and rearing fearfully.   
“Are there any more of you little fellas round ‘ere?” One of them prodded him with a large ladle.   
“Nope!” Bilbo said instantly, looking around him desperately.   
“E’s lying!” Another, shorter troll said. “’Old ‘is toes over the fire! Make ‘im squeal!”   
I nocked an arrow, ready to fire it when suddenly Kíli leapt out of the bushes and struck the troll in the leg, making it squeal in pain instead.  
“Drop him!” He yelled, brandishing his sword.   
“You what?!” The troll holding Bilbo exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at the intruder.   
“I said,” Kíli clutched his sword harder, twirling it around a little. “Drop him.”   
The troll glanced at Bilbo before throwing him on top of Kíli, sending the two tumbling to the ground. Before he could lunge for them again I fired an arrow into his eye, making him leap back, clutching his bleeding eye socket and screaming in pain. The rest of the company took the opportunity of the momentary distraction to charge into the campsite, hacking at the trolls’ legs. I slid my bow into my quiver and ran to help Kíli and Bilbo up. I then drew my sword and charged with Kíli to join the fray.   
The trolls’ skin was tougher than anything I’d ever seen before; our strongest attacks were barely breaking it. One troll picked up Nori, only to have Ori fire a rock into its eye with his slingshot, at which point the troll dropped Nori and lunged for Ori instead, lifting him into the air with a growl. Dwalin then crouched by the troll while Thorin used him as a platform, leaping gracefully into the air to slash the troll’s arm and force him to drop Ori.   
The troll with the ladle swung it at me and I parried it with my sword, cursing as the force of the hit jarred my arm. The troll swung at me three more times before Kíli ran up behind him, slid between his legs and slashed at the tender skin on the back of the monster’s ankle. With a shriek, the troll swung his ladle even harder and knocked me off my feet. It stumbled forward and I rolled out of the way of its huge foot which crashed down onto my dropped sword. I turned back and glowered at the fragmented blade and hilt lying in pieces where the troll had crushed it. Fíli hauled me to my feet and I spotted Bilbo, having picked up one of the trolls’ crude blades, sawing through the ropes binding the ponies. Once free, they galloped away, back towards our campsite. I dodged the trolls’ swings and kicks, trying to leap out of the fray as the fight suddenly ceased. To my horror I spotted Bilbo in the hands of two of the trolls, gripping his arms and legs. I hurriedly withdrew my bow and nocked an arrow.   
“Bilbo!” Kíli shouted and made to run forward, only to be stopped by Thorin’s arm across his chest. I readied to shoot but a look from Dwalin stayed my hand.   
“Lay down your arms!” the troll with the bleeding eye socket snapped. “Or we’ll whip his off!”  
I glanced at Thorin who regarded Bilbo for a moment before grudgingly throwing his sword to the ground. The rest of us followed suit, Ori rather ferociously dumping his slingshot on top of the weapon pile at our feet.

Before long we were stripped of our armour down to nothing but our clothes. Thorin, Fíli, Kíli, Óin, Glóin, Bombur, Bilbo and I were bundled into sacks, tied at the neck, and the rest were tied to a spit that was being turned over the fire. From my position – tied in a sack and dumped on top of Óin and Kíli, my back on Óin’s chest and my legs over Kíli’s stomach – I had a reasonable view of the others. Fíli was not so lucky as he was face down beneath Kíli and Thorin, wriggling constantly in an attempt to free himself. Thorin was next to Óin and I, his legs trapped under Kíli’s back. Bilbo was next to Kíli with Balin and Glóin behind him and Bombur was in front of me, dumped on his side.  
Ladle and One-Eye were turning the spit, One-Eye holding a dirty cloth over his bloody eye socket – a sight at which I couldn’t help but smirk – while the Squealer was sitting impatiently awaiting his dinner.  
“Don’t bother cookin’ ‘em,” Squealer said. “We should just sit on ‘em and squash ‘em into jelly!” He grinned excitedly over at us.   
“Is this really necessary?” I heard Dori ask from the spit.   
“Don’t be stupid!” Ladle said. “They should be sautéed and grilled, with a sprinkle of sage.”  
“That does sound quite nice…” Squealer replied, nodding.   
“Never mind the seasoning!” One-Eye barked. “We ain’t got all night. I don’t fancy bein’ turned to stone!”  
_We don’t have long!_ I thought to myself and attempted yet again to wriggle my bound hands free of their rope.  
Bilbo, however, suddenly jumped up, hobbling closer to the trolls.   
“Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!” He said loudly.   
“You can’t reason with them!” Dori called from the spit. “They’re half-wits!”  
“Half-wits?” Bofur came into view. “What does that make us?”  
“I have a few ideas,” I muttered through gritted teeth as I struggled harder against my bonds.   
“I meant with the seasoning!” Bilbo hobbled closer still, shrinking back slightly as One-Eye glared at him threateningly. _What in the name of Mahal are you doing?_ I thought.   
“What about the seasoning?” Ladle asked, leaning down to peer at Bilbo.   
“Well have you smelt them?” Bilbo looked pointedly at us.   
“Excuse me?!” I stopped struggling to glower at the hobbit. _Is this the best time to discuss personal hygiene?_  
“You’re gonna need something a lot stronger than sage before you plate this lot up!” Bilbo added.   
“Traitor!” Thorin yelled.   
“You’re no bed of roses yourself, hobbit!” I shouted over the rest of the company’s grumbling.   
“What do you know about cooking dwarf?” One-Eye scoffed, continuing to turn the spit.   
“Shut up!” Ladle leant closer to Bilbo. “Let the flurburburrahobbit talk.”  
“The – uh -” Bilbo stammered. “The – the secret to cooking dwarf is – um…”  
“Yes?” Ladle asked. “Go on! Tell us the secret!”  
“Yes I’m telling you!” Bilbo gritted his teeth. “The secret is…to skin them first!”  
“WHAT?” We all shouted, struggling harder to get free.   
“No!”   
“Damn you hobbit!”   
“Tom,” Ladle turned to One-Eye. “Get me a filleting knife.”  
“I’ll get you, you little bastard!” Glóin yelled at Bilbo.  
The dwarves on the spit were just as furious as those of us on the ground.   
“I won’t forget that!” Dwalin pointed angrily at Bilbo as he was turned to face him.   
“What a load of wubbish!” One-Eye exclaimed. “I’ve eaten plenty with their skins on! Scoff ‘em I say! Boots an’ all!”   
“E’s right!” Squealer came over. “Nothin’ wrong with a bit of raw dwarf!”  
Before we could protest, Bombur was hoisted into the air by Squealer who dangled him above his head. “Nice and crunchy!” He grinned and began to lower the fat dwarf towards his open mouth.   
“Not that one! He’s infected!” Bilbo cried, desperately.   
“Eh?” Squealer turned to Bilbo.   
“You what?” One-Eye frowned.   
“Yes! He’s got worms in his…tubes!” Bilbo added.  
With a disgusted groan, Squealer threw Bombur back down – _right_ on top of Kíli and I. I let out a cry as a crushing pain resonated throughout my chest.   
_There go my lungs…_   
“As a matter of fact they all have.” Bilbo added. “They’re infested with parasites! It’s a terrible business. I wouldn’t risk it, I really wouldn’t.”  
“Parasites?” Óin growled. “Did he say parasites?”   
“He did!” I glared at the hobbit.  
“We don’t have parasites!” Kíli shouted at Bilbo. “YOU have parasites!”   
Thorin suddenly kicked Kíli hard in the back, catching everyone’s attention. I looked from his stern face to Bilbo’s very pointed look.   
_Oh…I get it now._  
“I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!” Óin declared.   
“I’ve got the biggest parasites! I’ve got huge parasites!” Kíli added.   
“Aye! We’re riddled!” Ori piped up from the spit.   
“Yes we are! Riddled!” Dori nodded in agreement.   
“So many parasites! They’ll rip holes right through your stomach!” I joined in.   
“What would you have us do then?” One-Eye took a threatening step towards Bilbo. “Let ‘em all go?”  
“Well…” Bilbo shrugged.   
“You think I don’t know what you’re up to?” One-Eye shoved Bilbo roughly before returning to the spit. “This little ferret is taking us for fools!”  
“Ferret?” Bilbo asked, clearly insulted.   
“Fools?” Ladle cried.   
“The dawn will take you all!” Gandalf’s booming voice suddenly echoed across the campsite as he appeared above us atop a huge boulder.   
“Who’s that?” Ladle asked.   
“No idea,” One-Eye shrugged, seemingly uninterested.   
“Can we eat ‘im too?” Squealer asked hopefully.  
With that, Gandalf raised his staff and slammed it onto the boulder. With a huge crack it split in half, crumbling down to reveal the dazzling sunrise. As the rays of light hit the trolls they began to roar in pain as their skin hardened, forcing them into contorted crouching positions. With a final grunt, the trolls were nothing more than statues, frozen forever in their torment.  
A cheer rose from the dwarves as Gandalf made his way towards us, interrupted only by Dwalin’s exclamation of “Oh get yer foot outta ma back!”


	8. Dances with Wargs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I got excited and did a double whammy...(posted two chapters)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, scene 88...   
> Content note for fairly brief mention of blood and injuries.

_ Vana _

By the time the sun was up we were all untied, redressed and strapping our armour and weapons back on.  
I held my sword sheath and mourned the loss of my blade for a few minutes before dropping it to the ground with an irritated huff.   
“I’m sorry about your sword,” Bilbo said.   
“Don’t worry,” I smiled. “I’m sharp enough with my bow.”  
“So I saw,” Bilbo glanced up at the statue of one-eyed Tom and the indentation where his eye should have been.  
I laughed before turning back to the hobbit. “Besides, Fíli always has an extra sword should I need one desperately.”   
It was only then that I noticed Bilbo’s coat was covered in…something. It was a thick and viscous substance that seemed to have recently solidified on the fabric. “What on earth is that?” I asked pointing to his coat. Bilbo glanced down at himself and then sighed.   
“One of the trolls used me as a handkerchief. There is no way this is going to wash out.”   
I took a step back from him, frowning in revulsion.   
“That is disgusting. Truly, unequivocally disgusting.”   
Bilbo only glared in response. “At least I don’t have parasites…”   
Meanwhile Gandalf was making his way around the statues, pausing to give one a satisfied whack with his staff and smiling smugly to himself.   
“Where did you go to if I may ask?” Thorin approached him with a small smile on his face, as if he already knew the answer he would receive.   
“To look ahead,” Gandalf answered innocently.   
“What brought you back?”  
“Looking behind,” the wizard raised his thick, grey eyebrows and Thorin nodded, accepting that this was all the answers he would get.   
“Nasty business,” Gandalf glanced at the troll statues before nodding towards the rest of the company. “Still, they’re all in one piece.”  
“No thanks to your burglar,” Thorin said pointedly.  
Gandalf eyed the dwarf for a moment before responding curtly. “He had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you thought of that.”  
Thorin simply sighed in response.   
“They must have come down from the Ettenmoors.” Gandalf regarded the trolls once more.   
“Since when do mountain trolls venture this far south?” Thorin asked him.   
“Oh not for an age,” Gandalf replied. “Not since a darker power ruled this land.” For the next few moments the wizard stared blankly into space.  
I frowned at the slightly strained look on his face but before I could say anything he seemed to snap out of it.   
“They could not have moved in daylight.”  
“There must be a cave nearby,” Thorin looked over to the company. “Gather your things, quickly. These creatures have a hide-out somewhere. Ori, Bifur, go back to the ponies and get them ready. The rest of you, find the trolls’ cave.”  
I made my way over to Fíli and Kíli who were strapping their belts around their coats. “I suppose you two are barred from pony duty until further notice?” I smirked.   
“Shut up,” Kíli glowered, only to smile as I raised an eyebrow.  
Fíli stowed away the last of his knives. “I don’t mind personally, I want to see what’s in this troll hoard.”  
“Troll hoard?” I asked him.   
“Oh yes,” Fíli nodded.   
“They snatch unwary travellers from the woods and keep anything shiny for their hoards.” Kíli added. “These trolls are so close to the East Road, they must have encountered plenty of people.”  
“And killed them.” I pointed out, causing the smiles to fade from their faces.

It didn’t take long to find the troll-hoard; we smelt it before we saw it. Most of the dwarves, along with Gandalf ventured in to see what there was; personally I got within ten feet of it and could go no further.   
“I think I’ll just stay out here and…and keep watch.”  
“That’s good of you,” Fíli smirked. “We don’t want you vomiting all over our treasure.”  
“Maybe I’ll vomit on you instead.” I snarled, making Kíli laugh loudly.   
“Come on big brother, we’ll find our lady a nice keepsake to remind her always of that time she almost vomited at the sight of a troll’s cave.   
“It’s not the sight that bothers me!” I snapped.   
“That’s not what we’ll tell people!” Kíli called as he and his brother disappeared into the cave.   
“I’ll keep you company.” I looked around as Bilbo took a seat on a fallen tree next to me. “I don’t fancy going in there either.”  
“You don’t want to claim your own piece of troll treasure?” I asked with a knowing grin. “After all it was your quick thinking that stopped us being eaten.”  
“I’m glad you finally caught on!” he chuckled.   
“Eh – excuse me, I didn’t quite hear you with all those worms in your tubes!” I nudged him in the ribs.   
“I never said I had worms, just you lot.” He pointed out.   
“Vana!”  
I jumped slightly as Thorin called my name, standing as he made his way over to me, two swords clutched in his hands.   
“Here,” he handed the thinner sword to me. “It’s an Elvish blade. We found it in the cave. Gandalf said it’s the finest we’re likely to have. May it serve you well.”  
“Thank you,” I said as I took the sword. It was much lighter than it looked. I was used to the heavy feel of my dwarven sword. This one had a longer hilt and the blade was thinner though just as wide as my previous blade. The sheath was a deep blue colour with silver thread woven around it in an asymmetrical pattern. I drew the sword from it and the blade seemed to shine in the morning sunlight, bearing no blemishes whatsoever, as if it had been forged that day.  
“Beautiful,” I muttered.   
“It certainly is,” Bilbo agreed. I gave him a small smile before walking a few steps away from him. I dropped the sheath to the ground and gripped the hilt with both hands, swinging it to my left. The blade moved much faster than I thought; there was no excess weight to hold it back, it was as if it were made of air. I swung it again, dancing to the side and it moved with me, as if it were a part of my arm. Spinning around I gasped at the loud clang of metal upon metal as my new blade met Kíli’s. He grinned widely as my expression turned from shock to a knowing smirk.   
“That blade suits you,” he remarked, eyeing my new sword.   
“Thank you,” I picked up the sheath and returned the sword to it before buckling the belt over my shoulder to lie on my back. “Find anything interesting in there?” I asked as I adjusted the strap to fit me.   
“Not much,” Kíli replied. “Fíli found some more knives. Glóin, Bofur and Nori have made a long term deposit.”  
“Buried some gold in the ground you mean?”  
“Indeed,” he chuckled.   
“I’m not surprised.”  
“Something’s coming!” Thorin alerted everyone, staring into the woods ahead of us. Kíli instantly moved closer to me, brandishing his sword. I drew my own, my eyes darting around for any sign of danger.   
“Stay together!” Gandalf ordered before moving to Thorin’s side as they moved towards the source of panic. “Hurry now! Arm yourselves!”  
We followed him at a run, heading back towards the campsite. We paused in a small clearing when the sound that had alerted Thorin reached our ears. It was a loud rustling and then moments later the strangest sight appeared through the trees; a dozen or so creatures the size of dogs leaping towards us and pulling a long wooden sled. A figure on the back of the sled came into view and the sled slowed down as it neared us.   
“Thieves!” the figure screamed. “Fire! Murder!” The sled stopped suddenly and I saw the figure was an old man, dressed all in brown, with a long, dirty grey beard and equally dirty hair beneath a large hat. He glanced around at all of us, as if he were confused at our presence. We only returned the favour. One of the creatures moved forward to sniff my feet and I recoiled slightly only to see that it was, in fact, an over-sized rabbit. It stared inquisitively up at me and I stared back as Gandalf began to speak to the old man.   
“Radagast! Radagast the Brown, what on earth are you doing here?”  
“I was looking for you Gandalf,” Radagast replied in a rushed voice, trembling slightly as he stepped off his sled. “Something’s wrong. Something’s terribly wrong!”  
“Yes?” Gandalf nodded, awaiting further explanation.  
The brown wizard opened his mouth to continue, but no words came out. He frowned slightly then tried again but with no success.   
“What in the –“I heard Fíli mutter.   
“Just give me a minute,” Radagast whimpered. “Oh! I had a thought and now I’ve lost it. It was right there on the tip of my tongue!”  
Gandalf offered no response but waited patiently for his friend to continue.   
“Oh,” his mouth contorted as he spoke again, as if his tongue had swollen. “It’s not a thought at all, it’s a silly old –“his mouth opened and his tongue emerged with a small, thin insect perched on it. “- stick insect.” Radagast finished his bizarre speech as Gandalf reached over and plucked the insect from his friend’s tongue.   
“I thought trolls were strange enough…” Bilbo murmured.   
“Then Thorin gets himself an Elvish blade,” Kíli added.   
“And now this,” Fíli finished.   
“Not to mention these,” I knelt down and reached a hand out for the rabbit to sniff. It nuzzled my fingers and I couldn’t help but smile and stroke it’s head softly.   
“Trust you to be more distracted by the rabbits than the wizard with insects coming out of his mouth.” Kíli smiled softly.

Radagast and Gandalf spoke softly together for a few minutes while we waited. When I eventually looked up from petting the rabbits I spotted Bilbo holding something I never expected to see him with; a sword.   
“Where did you get that?” I asked.   
“Gandalf gave it to me,” he said, fingering the leather sheath containing his small blade. “Truth be told I have absolutely no idea what to do with it.”  
“Well you could start by putting it on,” I chuckled, moving over to him and snatching it out of his hands. I unfurled the strap on the sheath and wrapped it around Bilbo’s waist, grinning at the bemused look on his face. I fastened the buckle firmly and stepped back to admire my handy work. Bilbo stared down at the sword and then up at me, utterly confused at what had just happened.   
“Now if you ever need to use it, it’ll be close to hand.”  
I stiffened as a howl sounded worryingly close to us.   
“Was that a wolf?” Bilbo asked eyes wide with fear. “Are there wolves out there?”  
“Wolves?” Bofur looked around him, clutching his warhammer tightly. “No that is not a wolf.”  
A growl sounded from my left and I whipped around to see large fierce eyes and a sheer set of teeth appear over the grassy mound.   
“Look out!” I drew my sword as the beast bounded towards us, knocking Dori to the ground. Thorin brought it down with his sword through its neck, shouting as another appeared behind him. Kíli nocked an arrow instantly and fired it into the creature’s chest and Dwalin finished it off, embedding his axe in the top of its head with a satisfied grunt.   
“Warg scouts!” Thorin yanked his sword out of the first beast’s neck. “Which means an orc pack is not far behind!”  
“Orc pack?!” Bilbo’s eye grew wide.  
Gandalf strode angrily towards Thorin. “Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?”  
“No one,” Thorin answered softly.   
“Who did you tell?” Gandalf almost shouted.   
“No one, I swear!” Thorin insisted. “What in Durin’s name is going on?”  
“You are being hunted!” Gandalf answered him gruffly.   
“We have to get out of here!” Dwalin growled.   
“We can’t!” We whipped around to see Ori and Bifur running down the mound towards us. “We have no ponies! They bolted!”  
“I’ll draw them off!” Radagast piped up. I’d almost forgotten he was there.   
“These are Gundabad wargs!” Gandalf said, impatiently. “They will outrun you.”  
Radagast pointed at his sled with a sly smile. “ _These_ are Rhosgobel rabbits! I’d like to see them try.”

*

My sides were burning when we stopped to lean against the boulder. Running across rocky ground, weighed down by weapons and surrounded by howling wargs, was no easy task. Radagast’s sled suddenly sped by in front of us with the wargs in hot pursuit. Howls resounded through the trees and we could distantly hear Radagast’s cries of “Here! Come and get me!”   
At Gandalf’s order we changed direction and ran farther out into the plains. We crouched behind another boulder when the orcs came into sight again, Thorin having to yank Ori back before he ran in front of the entire pack.  
A cold shiver of dread ran down my back as snarls reached my ears, along with the slow, metallic sound of a blade leaving a sheath; there was a mounted orc above us. Silently, Thorin nodded at Kíli , indicating his bow. Kíli nodded and turned to me, mouthing ‘orc’ as he pointed at me and then ‘warg’, pointing at himself. I nocked an arrow and awaited his signal. With a final nod we spun around and fired. My arrow hit the orc in the neck whilst Kíli’s pierced the warg’s chest and they tumbled off the boulder next to us. Unfortunately, both failed to die quietly and had to be put down with further blows from Dwalin and Bifur. There was no way the others could have missed it. Sure enough, their howls echoed across the plains as they regrouped and headed in our direction  
“Move! Run!” Gandalf bellowed and took off, the rest of us on his heels. We didn’t hesitate to obey.  
We sprinted as fast as we could but eventually wargs began to appear from all sides and we loosely huddled in front of the boulders facing outwards towards the monsters. Gandalf was nowhere to be seen.   
“There’s more coming!” Kíli shouted, nocking an arrow.   
“Kíli! Vana! Shoot them!” Thorin yelled.  
Kíli fired immediately, hitting his first orc in the chest. I fired at the nearest warg, successfully hitting its eye. It dropped with a howl and I quickly loosed another arrow into its rider’s throat.   
“We’re surrounded!” I heard Fíli shout behind me. I turned and fired an arrow toward the warg nearest him, hitting the flank of its back leg.   
“Hold your ground!” Thorin brandished his elven blade fiercely.   
“This way you fools!” I heard Gandalf shout. Spinning around to face the boulders, I spotted the wizard crouched in between them. He quickly disappeared down behind it again and the company began to follow. Kíli and I remained at our posts, shooting down orcs and wargs that came too close.   
“Kíli! Vana! Come on!” Thorin shouted. With everyone else safe, we turned and began to run back. A snarl caught my ear and I turned to see a mounted warg sprinting towards Kíli. With no time to aim, I sprinted in front of the warg and swung my bow hard and caught the warg in the face, ripping the skin beneath its eye. With a startled yelp it stumbled, throwing its rider from its back. The orc thudded to the ground while the warg whipped around faster than I expected. I managed to draw my sword but before I could use it the warg’s teeth closed around my left shoulder.   
A fierce pain seared outwards down my arm and across my chest and I threw my head back in a shriek as my shoulder crumbled beneath the beast’s jaws. The weight of the creature forced me to the hard ground and pinned me beneath its massive paws.   
“Vana!” I heard Kíli yell.   
“Kíli! Go, now!” Thorin ordered angrily.  
I felt the muscles of its neck tighten as it prepared to shake the life out of me and instinct kicked in. My right hand gripped my sword tighter and I thrust it into the creature’s neck. With a shudder it collapsed on top of me, crushing the air out of my lungs. I couldn’t even let out a groan of despair as the orc appeared above my head holding its jagged dagger to my neck.   
I braced myself for the end when the orc suddenly let out a deafening screech, a glowing blade piercing its chest. I turned my head slightly to see Thorin yank his new sword out of the orc before throwing his full weight against the warg.  
Just then the weight of the warg disappeared and Thorin was lifting me to my feet. He half-dragged me to the boulder which turned out to have a downwards opening that Thorin proceeded to slide down, still holding onto me. I cried out when we hit the stony ground. My chest and shoulder burned and I knew at least a few of my ribs were broken and my shoulder was crushed.   
I suddenly found a pair of familiar arms around me, pulling me to my feet. I looked into Kíli’s deep brown eyes but they did not meet mine. Instead they were fixed on the sleeve covering my injured shoulder, which I noticed was stained dark red and that stain was growing.  
“Why did you do that?!” Kíli almost shouted. “You stupid woman! You could’ve died!”  
“If I were stupid I would’ve let that warg eat you.” I groaned, wincing slightly both at his words and his iron grip on my waist.   
“Let me see that wound lass.” Óin elbowed Kíli out of the way before he could retort and sat me on a rock. Dwalin was the next to shove his way through the group and crouch next to me, surveying my bleeding shoulder.  
“Oh, lass…” he stared in horror at the red stain, now covering most of the top left side of my coat.   
“I’m fine.”  
Just then, a strange horn sound drifted across the plains, followed by the sound of galloping hooves, clashing metal and the shrieks of orcs either dying or running away. One orc body tumbled down into the cave next to us, causing everyone to jump back in shock. Thorin knelt down and pulled the arrow shaft from the orc’s throat, peering at it.  
“Elves!” He spat, and threw it on the ground as if it were burning him.  
Óin slowly pulled the sleeve of my coat away from my skin and instinctively I attempted to raise my shoulder to pull my arm out of my sleeve – an action that caused me to gasp in pain.   
“What are you doing?!” Kíli was instantly at my side, glaring at Óin.   
“Her shoulder’s completely crushed! I don’t know how much I can do without all my supplies.” Óin reached into his small bag to pull out scraps of cloth. “I’m sorry lass, this is goin’ to hurt but I need to stop this bleedin’.”  
I gritted my teeth and nodded. Kíli took hold of my good hand and Dwalin placed a soothing hand on my back. I squeezed Kíli’s hand hard and tried to stifle agonised moans as Óin’s actions caused fragments of my bone to shift. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop tears from pouring down my face.  
“You’re such an idiot!” Kíli hissed at me as Óin pressed the final piece of cloth into my sleeve.   
“That’s not helping Kíli,” Fíli said sternly, watching the whole thing with a pained expression.   
“It’s true.” He glared at his brother before turning back to me. “You should have kept running!”  
I wrenched my hand out of his grasp, grunting as the movement jarred my shoulder. “A simple thank you would suffice.”  
“Thank you?” Kíli stood, suddenly towering over me. “You almost died! Do you understand that?”  
“I didn’t though did I?” I clutched my injured arm to my side as Óin got out a longer strip of cloth and began to wrap it in a loop around my forearm and neck.  
“You very nearly did! If it hadn’t been for Thorin -!”   
“Kíli! That’s enough!” Dwalin shouted, making the prince shrink back slightly. “We need to get her out of here,” he addressed Thorin before standing and marching to the other end of the cave where the ground turned. Óin tied the final knot around my neck, patting my back to tell me my makeshift sling was done.  
“Don’t you ever, _ever_ do that again!” Kíli said, giving me another furious look.   
_That’s it._  
“You listen to me, Kíli son of Dis,” I leapt to my feet, grimacing at the pain in spite of myself.  “You may be a prince of Durin’s folk, but that doesn’t make you invincible. You may think you could have taken that warg and not ended up dead or worse but I happen to care a great deal about you and ergo, I was _not_ prepared to take that chance!” I cursed silently as my head began to swim but was determined to say my piece.  
“You may as well thank me for saving your sorry arse and move on because yelling at me and calling me stupid isn’t doing any of us any good!”  
“You-!” Kíli began.  
“I’M NOT FINISHED!” The entire group reeled as I yelled in complete and utter fury. “You of all people should know what I’m capable of. Don’t you dare presume that just because I’m a woman I’m less capable of defending myself, or that I don’t take my decisions to protect those I love as seriously as any man.”   
My vision blurred and I began to sway. Before I could utter another word my vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are interested, Vana's new sword is a well-known weapon from the Silmarillion. More info on it later on.


	9. The Hidden Valley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Company make it to Rivendell and have to hand Vana over to the Elvish healers. That can only end well right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I done? Protective-Kili, sickly-sweet-Kili, big-bro Fili, fluffy-Dwalin, Christ, this chapter is so sickly sweet...

_ Kíli  _

Kíli was still in shock as Vana tumbled into his arms. Words couldn’t describe how guilty he felt. He should have been the one to take down the warg. He should have turned when he heard it coming, but he hadn’t. He had kept running until he had reached the cave and was about to slide into it when he heard Vana scream. Thorin had pushed him in when he should have done something to help her. He should have kept his mouth shut and comforted her when she needed him. Instead he had let his mouth run away with his emotions and now she was passed out in front of them. He scooped her into his arms and held her close as Óin rushed over.   
“Is she alright?” he pleaded with the old dwarf.  
Óin pressed two fingers to the side of her neck and held a hand above her mouth and nose.   
“She’s fainted. It’s the blood loss. She needs to get to a healin’ house.”   
“I can’t see where the path leads!” Dwalin’s voice echoed over to the group. “Do we follow it or no?”  
“Follow it of course!” Bofur called back, ushering forward with the rest of the company. Kíli pressed his forehead against Vana’s as he followed.  
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.  
“Is she going to be alright?” Bilbo asked Gandalf as they moved through the narrow passageway.  
“She’ll be fine Master Baggins. You need not worry.”  
“Hard not to,” he answered before frowning. “Uh, Gandalf, where are we?”  
“You can feel it?” Gandalf asked with a small smile.  
“Yes, it feels like…” Bilbo shuffled uncomfortably. “Well like magic,” he finished, looking slightly embarrassed.   
“That’s exactly what it is,” Gandalf told him. “A very powerful magic. And where we are going, Miss Vana will be treated with the best of healers.”   
“What kind of healers?” Thorin demanded, turning back face the wizard. “Where does this path lead?”  
“Somewhere safe,” Gandalf said, walking with a little more speed and determination.  
“Can’t you do something for her?” Fíli called forward from behind his little brother.  
“The bones in her shoulder are crushed.” Gandalf called back over his shoulder. “I can revive her and try to knit the fragments back together with spells but it would cause her to be in agony for hours. And if she moves at the wrong moment I could do even more damage. She had much better be taken to the healing houses where they can numb her pain and keep her still as they work.”  
“But she _will_ be alright?” Kíli asked, his voice cracking slightly as he held Vana tighter.   
“Yes, Kíli.” Gandalf turned to face him with a soft smile. “I promise you, she will be fine, for look where we are.” He gestured to the opening of the cave where the rest of the company had gathered, gazing at the view before them.  
Kíli and Fíli emerged and for a moment both were distracted at the sight of their destination. A narrow path descended down the hillside before turning onto an ornate stone bridge in front of a huge, waterfall. Archways and balconies decorated the valley, wood and stone elegantly twining together to form beautiful yet solid structures.   
“Here lies the Valley of Imladris, and the last Homely House east of the sea.” Gandalf announced. “In the Common Tongue, it is known by another name - .”  
“Rivendell,” Bilbo finished for him, gazing wide-eyed at the vast architecture.  
Kíli glanced at the Hobbit before returning his gaze to the women in his arms.   
“Vana?” He said softly. “Open your eyes, love. We’re in Rivendell! Remember you always wanted to see it.”  
“Kíli,” Fíli laid a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “She can’t hear you, she’s unconscious.”  
Kíli ignored him and kept his eyes on Vana’s, willing them to open.  
“Vana, please? Please look at me. Look where we are. Just open your eyes, please.” He faltered for a moment, readjusting her weight in his arms.   
“Why don’t I carry her down?” Dwalin approached Kíli, holding his arms out for her.  
“No!” Kíli practically snarled at him, gripping Vana closer as if he were afraid he would snatch her out of his arms.  
“Kíli, you need to calm down,” Fíli tried to reassure him. “Dwalin won’t drop her.”  
“No, I’ve got her. I can protect her. I’ve got her.” Kíli’s face softened as he turned back to her. “I’ve got you, Vana. I’ve got you.”   
“This was your plan all along?” He heard Thorin ask angrily. “To seek refuge with our enemy?”   
“You have no enemies here Thorin Oakenshield!” Gandalf answered impatiently. “The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself!”  
“You think the _Elves_ will give this quest their blessing? They will try to stop us.”   
“Of course they will, but we have questions that need to be answered. Also, in case it’s escaped your notice, we have a severely injured woman in need of care.”  
Thorin only sighed in defeat. “It appears we have no choice. What is your plan then wizard?”  
“If we are to be successful,” Gandalf continued, addressing all of the dwarves now. “This will need to be handled with tact, respect and no small degree of charm – which is why you will leave the talking to me.” With that he started to make his way down the hillside towards the bridge. Thorin followed close behind him, ordering Kíli to come next with Vana. The company soon formed a single file down the narrow path and Thorin looked back to his nephew as they walked.   
“Are you alright?” He asked his nephew softly.  
Kíli only nodded in response, still holding Vana as tightly as he could without leaving bruises.  
“She’ll be alright Kíli,” he said. “You heard what Gandalf said.”  
“I know,” Kíli replied, his voice hoarse from the lump in his throat. “But…what if she’s in pain?”  
“She’s unconscious.”   
“How do you know that? What if she can hear us? What if she’s in pain or she’s scared and she can’t tell us?”  
“Kíli, you need to relax. Vana will wake up with no recollection of anything that’s happened since the cave.”  
“Will she remember what I said to her? All those awful things-?”   
“Don’t think about that now. Just think about what you’re going to tell her when she wakes up.”

The company crossed the bridge over the huge waterfall that thundered down into the deep pools below. They could see as the water ran south it split into many narrow rivers, spreading in all directions. The sun reflected off the water in a dazzling light that made the valley glow like a fresh painting. They crossed the bridge into a round, open courtyard and the dwarves tightened their hold on each of their weapons as they noticed the elven guards at the bottom of the steps leading up to the main hall.  
They gathered in a small huddle, muttering to each other as they awaited further instruction from the wizard. Kíli gazed all around him at the buildings, trees and waterfalls that surrounded them. He couldn’t deny that it was incredibly beautiful and he pictured Vana’s face as she saw it; her eyes wide, her mouth turned in that crooked smile as she took everything in, like the one she got when she read an interesting book, or listened to one of Balin’s stories. Then she would see something that took her breath away, one of the waterfalls perhaps, and her smile would grow wide and she would start to laugh.   
His eyes travelled to her face as he thought of this and he wanted to cry as his vision was shattered by the sight of her, unconscious and bleeding in his arms.   
Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw an elf, clad in a long purple tunic and a deep red cloak with mahogany hair cascading down his shoulders, coming down the steps towards them. His movements were so fluid and graceful, Kíli thought he could be floating.   
“Mithrandir!” The elf called out in his soft, musical tone.  
“Ah, Lindir.” Gandalf smiled as he saw the elf. He made a strange gesture towards the elf, placing a hand over his heart before extending it towards him, which the elf then returned.  
Lindir then looked curiously at the wizard, saying something in his strange Elvish language.   
“Stay sharp,” he heard Thorin mutter to Dwalin.   
“I must speak with Lord Elrond,” Gandalf said in a more serious tone.   
“My lord Elrond is not here,” Lindir replied.   
“Not here? Where is he?”   
As if on cue, the strange horn they had heard in the cave sounded from behind them and the dwarves turned to see a group of horses cantering towards them down the path and along the bridge.  
“ _Ifridi bekar_!” Thorin ordered, brandishing his sword. “Close ranks!”  
Fíli shoved Kíli into the middle of the tight circle the dwarves formed around him, while Bofur pulled Bilbo behind him and Dori pushed Ori into the centre next to Kíli . The Elves rode in, barely glancing at the bristling dwarves as they trotted in a circle around them, closing them in even more. Gandalf, meanwhile, stood to the side with Lindir, looking slightly embarrassed by the spectacle.  
Kíli held Vana tightly against him, glaring at the circling Elves. A few of them spotted her and whispered to each other in their own language. He held her closer.   
“Gandalf!” an Elf wearing shining bronze armour with long dark hair descending from beneath a silver circlet greeted the wizard as he dismounted his horse.  
“Lord Elrond,” he greeted the Elf with the same gesture he had shown Lindir before launching into a stream of Elvish.   
“So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves!” He heard Glóin mutter. “Can’t they speak words we can all understand?”  
“Quiet!” Thorin hissed.   
The Elf then embraced Gandalf before pulling back to show him a twisted dagger, no doubt taken from one of the orcs.  
“Strange for orcs to come so close to our borders.” Even when he spoke the common tongue, the elves’ accent made it sound so musical. They may as well have been singing.   
“Something, or someone, has brought them near.” He handed the sword to Lindir.  
“Ah, that may have been us,” Gandalf gestured at the group of glowering dwarves. Thorin then stepped forward, meeting Elrond’s eye.   
“Welcome Thorin, son of Thráin,” Elrond greeted him courteously.   
“I do not believe we have met,” Thorin said with the forced politeness of a noble.   
“You have your grandfather’s bearing. I knew Thrór when he ruled under the mountain.”  
“Indeed? He made no mention of you.”   
Elrond regarded the dwarf with an unreadable expression; if anything he seemed intrigued by his incredulous guest. Then he caught sight of Kíli behind the leader, along with the girl in his arms.   
“Your companion is injured?” He looked at Kíli who only glowered. He didn’t trust these Elves, especially not with his One.   
“Yes, she was attacked by a warg. She has been unconscious since we left the Hidden Pass.” Gandalf said, nodding reassuringly at Kíli . He was still not convinced.   
“We will see her fully recovered,” Elrond said with a kind smile. “Lindir, would you take her to the healing houses?”  
Lindir nodded, handing the orc sword to one of the guards and making his way towards Kíli. The dwarves hesitantly parted to let him through but Kíli backed away when Lindir reached for her.   
“No!” he snapped. “Don’t touch her.”  
“Kíli, they are only trying to help!” Gandalf said impatiently. “Vana will be well taken care of.”  
“You have my word, Master Dwarf,” Elrond said. “No harm will befall your friend, or any of your company, while you resides in my house.”  
Kíli made no move to release her.   
“I will take her,” he addressed Elrond first before turning to Lindir. “You lead the way, I'll follow.”  
Lindir turned to Elrond who nodded his consent before turning back to Kíli .   
“Very well, this way please.” He gestured towards another set of stairs that led up under a canopy of trees into a building built into the cliffs next to the main hall. Kíli took one last suspicious look at Lindir before heading in the direction shown. Lindir walked beside him as they headed up the stairs.   
“Her name is Vana?” he asked Kíli.  
Kíli’s eyes snapped up to the elf as he heard her name spoken in his strange accent.   
“Yes,” He almost choked out his answer.  
“I need you to tell me exactly what happened so I can inform the healers.”  
“A…a warg pounced on her. Pinned her to the ground and bit her shoulder. Gandalf said it was crushed. She fell unconscious once we bandaged her up.”   
Lindir nodded as they reached the top of the steps where he opened a great wooden door and ushered him inside. They entered into a vast room with a ceiling that seemed to stretch forever up into the cliff. Lindir directed him towards another door to his right but stopped him before he could go through.   
“Wait here,” he ordered before disappearing through the door. Kíli waited, frowning first at the Elf suddenly leaving him and then at Vana. She hadn’t moved since she had fainted; she had not stirred nor had she made a sound. He held his breath as he watched her chest rise and fall slightly, indicating she was still alive, at least barely. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.  
“Vana, if you can hear me, just know that you’re going to be alright. The Elves will heal you and then you can see this place. It’s beautiful, my love. It’s everything you imagined and more.”  
On his last word, the door flew open and Lindir appeared with two female elves at his side, dressed in white tunics and trousers.   
“I am afraid we cannot let you into the healing houses while she is being treated.” Lindir said to Kíli . “You will have to come with me.”  
“No! I have to stay with her.” Kíli almost shouted. One of the Elves rolled her eyes impatiently, making him growl under his breath. He turned back to Lindir. “She needs me. I have to be in there.”  
“You cannot. You will be in the way.” Lindir nodded to the two healers who went to take Vana. Kíli recoiled, practically snarling. The healer who had not rolled her eyes smiled kindly at Kíli.   
“It’s alright Master Dwarf. What is your name?” Her sky-blue eyes were friendly and Kíli found himself staring into them as he answered.   
“Kíli, son of Dis.”   
“My name is Éranith. I promise you, Kíli, I will take good care of her. I happen to be an expert with these types of injuries. She is the best hands she could ask for.”  
Kíli gazed at the elf-healer and then to Vana. He felt sick at the thought of leaving her side.   
“Will she live?” He asked softly.  
“Absolutely.”   
“Will she be in pain?” He looked the healer directly in the eye and she returned the favour as she answered.   
“None whatsoever, you have my word.”  
Kíli nodded and took one last look at Vana before reluctantly handing her over to the Elf. She lifted her as effortlessly as if she were lifting a new-born and nodded to her companion to open the door. They both disappeared through the door, leaving Kíli clenching his fists and holding back a scream of frustration.  
“I shall escort you back to your company now,” Lindir told him and indicated for the dwarf to follow him and, reluctantly, he obliged. Instead of leaving through the main door, he took Kíli through a door opposite to the door the healers took and led him along a balcony looking out over the courtyard they had first entered.   
“How long until I can see her?” Kíli asked as he sped up to keep up with the Elf.   
“That depends on the healers. They will find you when she is ready for visitors.”  
Lindir said no more as he led him through the main doors into Elrond’s halls. He briefly halted a passing Elf and whispered to him in Elvish. The Elf said something back to him with a look of exasperation and pointed to a door at the far end of the hall. Kíli bristled at them, doing his best to be patient.   
_He needed to see his brother. He needed to scream. He needed to hit something. He needed to close his eyes and open them to find Vana recovered and smiling again. He needed to tell her he was sorry.  
_ The Elf then left and Lindir turned to Kíli . “If you go through those doors, you will find your companions in the second room on the left. It is a sun room usually used for reading but it seems they have decided to commandeer it as their quarters.” The faintest hint of irritation broke through the Elf’s composure and Kíli suppressed an amused smile.   
_Uncle could be more subtle._   
He kept his face straight as he thanked Lindir and made his way back to his company. Sure enough, they had spread themselves around the sun room, occupying the soft, plush seats and emptying their packs onto the neatly embroidered rugs. Nori was even inspecting the various shelves containing books and ornaments, his inner thief dancing with glee in his eyes. The room, Kíli noticed, was not enclosed but open to the view of the rivers stretching far into the distance. In place of a wall, the room opened up into a balcony that offered views of the whole valley.

_ Fíli _

The dwarves looked up as they heard the door to their self-acquired guest room open and Kíli entered with his eyes downcast. His expression was so bleak that Fíli instinctively ran straight to him.  
“What happened? Is Vana alright?” He fought hard to keep his voice calm but his eyes were wild with fear.  
“Where'd they take her?” Dwalin demanded, making his way forward.  
“She’s in the healing house. They wouldn’t let me stay.”  
“What d’yeh mean they wouldn’t _let_ yeh?” Dwalin almost shouted. “Yer a bloody prince! Yeh should’ve made them!”  
“Enough, Dwalin!” Thorin pulled his best friend away from his nephew as Kíli glared at him. Fíli took Kíli over to the balcony, sitting him down on a stone bench before sitting next to him.  
“Talk to me, brother,” he said quietly. Kíli said nothing at first, only staring at his clenched fists.   
“This is my fault,” he said quietly. “I should have gone back. I should have done something.”  
“Kíli, no.” Fíli shook his head. “There was no stopping her. She saw you were in danger and she saved you. It’s not your fault.”  
“I failed her,” Kíli gasped as burning tears began to pour from his eyes. Fíli couldn’t help but stare as his brother began to sob. He hadn’t seen Kíli cry like this since he was little. “When Uncle brought her into the cave… Why did I say those things? Why did I have to open my big mouth?”  
“You were angry. You were scared she was badly hurt or dead. She'll understand that.”  
“If I hadn’t made her so angry maybe -”  
“Kíli, stop this.” Fíli gently gripped the back of his brother’s neck to steady him as he threatened to fall forward with the force of his sobs. “Vana will be alright. She’ll wake up and the first thing she’ll want to do is see you. Then you can go and tell her everything you need to and she can punch you in the face for being an idiot and waiting so long and then you’ll kiss and make up.”  
He held his brother while he wept, constricting his throat against the emotions that threatened to overpower him at his brother’s grief. Eventually, Kíli calmed down.   
“I don’t think she’ll ever want to kiss me again,” Kíli said sadly, swallowing hard. “But the punching is inevitable I suppose.”  
“Kee,” Fíli pressed his forehead to his brother’s. “She’ll be alright. You have to believe that.”  
Kíli nodded once, trying to suppress any more tears threatening to make an appearance. He opened his eyes when he heard the thudding footsteps of Dwalin approaching him.

_ Kíli  _

“Dwalin,” Kíli leapt to his feet. “I’m sorry, I tried to stay but they wouldn’t let me –“  
“Kíli,” Dwalin raised a hand to silence him. “I came to apologise. I’m sorry fer what I said. I’m just worried fer her.”  
Kíli exhaled with relief. “I understand.” There was a moment of silence until Dwalin coughed softly.   
“Kíli, I know about yeh and Vana.”  
Kíli had not been expecting that. He gaped at the dwarf in front of him, expecting an armoured fist to meet his face, but Dwalin only regarded him with a surprisingly soft expression for such an intimidating figure.   
“I know yer courtin’ her, and I know yeh haven’t told Thorin, though if he hasn’t guessed already I’d be tempted to rethink my faith in his leadership.” He motioned for Kíli to sit back down beside his brother, who was watching the exchange curiously, before sitting on a bench facing them.   
“She didn’t want him to think of her as a distraction,” Kíli said, glancing at Thorin who was deep in conversation with Balin, unaware they were speaking of him. “She feared he might send her home.”  
“That’s not what she told me.”  
Kíli blinked in confusion. “What did she tell you?”  
“She told me she was afraid Thorin would disapprove of yer relationship. She feared she wasn’t worthy of yer courtship.”  
“But…” Kíli’s face twisted in confusion. “That’s ridiculous! She knows how I feel about her.”  
“She also knows what many dwarves would think of a mixed race union.”  
“I don’t care about that!”  
“I know yeh don’t, but it’s different for yeh. Yer a dwarf prince. I may have adopted her and given her a position among our family but she’s still a daughter of Man and that will never change. She knows that all too well, and she fears that when we retake the kingdom, yeh’ll be expected to marry a dwarrowdam and she’ll be left alone.”  
Kíli was flabbergasted. He had never considered this to be a possibility. He had never even considered that Thorin would oppose their courtship. He had been convinced that Thorin would be happy for them once the Mountain was retaken and Kíli came to him to formally ask permission to marry her.   
“How could she think I would ever marry another?”  
“D’yeh want to marry her?” Dwalin regarded Kíli as his expression changed. He glanced at his older brother, who nodded encouragingly, before looking Dwalin straight in the eye, unblinking and with no hint of teasing – a rare sight for the young prince.   
“I was going to ask her when we had taken the Mountain. When the dragon lay dead and Thorin was back on his throne I was going to come to you and Thorin to ask your permission to marry her. Thorin told me once there were gems in the mountain that were made of pure starlight; that they sparkled even in the darkest of the mountain caverns. With his permission, I was going to forge a ring with those gems surrounding a small emerald; the same as her eyes. When she looks up at those stars she loves so much, I see them shine in her eyes, tiny white lights surrounding the green. I was going to make her a ring that showed her what I saw every time I looked at her, in the hope that she might finally understand how beautiful she is, and how lucky I am that it is my heart she holds.”

_ Dwalin _

Dwalin gazed at the young prince as he spoke; he was no longer staring at the young dwarfling he used to carry on his shoulders, but at a dwarf who wanted to marry his daughter, and who was willing to do everything within his power to make her happy. His heart burned with emotion as he smiled at Kíli with a heightened level of respect.   
“She’s my One, Dwalin,” Kíli said, a small smile reaching his eyes which still shone from the tears he had shed earlier. “I love her with every fibre of my being. If I had to die for her to be safe I would do it in a heartbeat. She is everything to me. If any dwarf tried to tell me she was not worthy to be a Princess of Erebor then I would tell them I was not worthy to even set foot in that Mountain. If marrying her means giving up my title and my right to be heir then I will delay marrying her only long enough to sign the abdication.  
“Of course, this is all assuming she would have me. She deserves someone who dedicates their life to keeping her safe and making her happy. I have failed on both counts, and if anyone is unworthy it is I. She is lying in a healing house because I was unable to protect her.”  
“Kíli,” Dwalin said softly. “If Vana would have yeh, I’d be honoured to call yeh my son-in-law. Yeh’ve proven yer honour and yer devotion time and time again, though I didn’t see it until now, and after everything yeh just said, I’ve no doubt that yeh’d be exactly the kind of husband she  deserves.”  
“You mean…?” Kíli asked, his eyes wide. “You mean you would give me your permission to ask for her hand?”  
“I would,” Dwalin grinned, clapping the prince on the shoulder. “And I do.”  
Fíli let out a hearty laugh, clapping his brother on the back as he grinned widely. He looked like his old self again.   
“We all fear for Vana’s safety,” Dwalin added, “But she’s a strong woman and a fierce fighter, not to mention stubborn enough to rival your uncle.”  The three of them shared a chuckle, Kíli still grinning.   
“Exactly,” Fíli chimed in. “Death himself could try and take her and she would just sit on the ground, arms crossed, and refuse to leave.”  
Kíli shook his head at the image, wiping the remnants of tears from his eyes as he laughed.   
“Though, you know what you need to do first, don’t you?” Fíli said, raising his eyebrows.   
“What?” Kíli frowned slightly.  
“Tell her!”   
“Tell her what?” Dwalin asked.   
“I’ve told her I love her,” Kíli interjected.   
“But you haven’t told her how much,” Fíli gave Kíli a playful smack around the head.  
“Argh! What was that f- OWW!” He cried out as Dwalin followed suit and smacked him over the head, though markedly less playfully.   
“Stupid boy! No wonder she was so confused.” He growled.   
“What’s going on?” Thorin stormed over to the three of them, confused at the sight. Dwalin was glaring at Kíli who was rubbing his head, his face a fierce shade of red, while Fíli was shaking with laughter.   
“Uncle!” Fíli leapt to his feet. “Do I have your permission to go and find Vana? None of us can rest until we know she’s alright.”  
Thorin regarded his nephew, feeling as if he was missing something yet again.   
“Of course, but don’t be too long. We’ve all been invited for dinner with the Elf-lord.”  
“I’ll go too,” Kíli said, standing beside his brother. “I can’t just sit here.”  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Thorin shook his head. “You’re exhausted.”  
“I’ll keep an eye on the lad,” Dwalin said. “He’ll keep his head down.”   
“I will if you will,” Kíli muttered with a smirk.  
Thorin sighed and nodded. “Very well, but don’t get lost and don’t be late.”  
“Are you going to find Vana?” Bilbo leapt up as they passed the rest of the company. “May I come too?”  
“Of course you can!” Fíli said immediately. Bilbo nodded in thanks and grabbed his coat.  
“I’ll come too if you don’t mind,” Bofur began strapping on his boots again. “I’d like to see the lass.”  
“May I come too?” Ori’s small voice sounded from behind Dwalin.  
“You should stay here Ori,” Dori told him. “She doesn’t need a huge crowd of us overwhelming her.”  
“Nonsense,” Dwalin dismissed Dori’s worry with a wave of his large hand. “Ori can join us if he wants, just to make sure she’s alright.”  
“Yes,” Ori nodded enthusiastically as he stood from his chair. “I won’t disturb her. I just want to see that she’s safe.”  
Dori reluctantly agreed and Nori asked them to give her their best. The remaining dwarves added their well-wishes and the small party left for the healing houses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Kili, my sweet summer child, of course Dwalin knew...


	10. The Wonders of Elvish Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, the dwarves are pissed...

_ Kíli  _

Kíli led them back to the healing houses, pausing outside the door where the Elves had taken Vana from him.  
“Here we are,” he said softly, glancing around him. The Elves were nowhere to be seen.  
“So, do we just go in?” Bofur asked, but Dwalin was already making to open the door.  
“Wait!” Bilbo suddenly appeared at Dwalin’s elbow.  
“What?” He growled at the hobbit.  
“Well,” Bilbo took a tentative step back from him as he answered nervously. “The Elves wouldn’t let Kíli in. I don’t think they’ll be too happy if we all go barging in.”  
“So what do you suggest?” Kíli peered questioningly at Bilbo.  
“We knock?” Bilbo’s rhetorical question made the dwarves bristle, their collective pride slightly dented. Dwalin threw a slight scowl at Bilbo before hammering his armoured fist against the door three times, making the hobbit wince. They waited a few moments before Dwalin raised his fist to knock again. It was at that moment the door opened slightly and a dark-haired Elf peered around the door.  
“Can I help you?” He asked, frowning at the dwarves.  
Kíli frowned at the unfamiliar face. He had hoped to speak to Éranith who had seemed kind.  
“We’re here to see the human girl who was brought here earlier,” Dwalin said with as much politeness as he could muster at the sight of the pointed ears. “She’s our companion and we’d like to know how she’s doin’.”  
“I am sorry but she is still being treated,” the Elf said simply and made to close the door.  
“Hold on!” Dwalin’s fist slammed against the door, blocking it. The Elf blinked in surprise when he was suddenly faced with five seething dwarves. “We’re not leavin’ till we know she’s alright.”  
“I am afraid I cannot let you in.” The Elf remained composed but there was a new edge to his voice. “No one but patients and healers is allowed in here. One of our healers will come and find you when she is ready to receive visitors.”  
“And how long will that be?” Bofur demanded.  
“I have no idea,” the Elf said serenely and made to shut the door again only to be jolted back as Dwalin braced his body against the door.  
“Not good enough,” he growled, glaring up at the Elf. Kíli strode forward up to the Elf, ignoring his brother’s warning hand on his shoulder.  
“What are you doing to her?” he asked darkly. “Where have you taken her? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER?”  
It took the combined efforts of Fíli and Bofur to stop Kíli from tackling the Elf to the ground. The Elf did not flinch but his face hardened at the young dwarf’s shouting.  
“I have done nothing. We are trying to help your friend, but your disturbance is only hindering her care. If you truly care about her well-being, you will leave now before I have you escorted out by an armed guard.”  
With a swift movement, he shoved Dwalin back from the door with surprising force and slammed the door shut.  
“Why you -!” Dwalin snarled, hammering his fist against the door. “Get back here yeh pointy-eared -!”  
“Dwalin, stop!” Fíli cried, still restraining his younger brother. “You’ll only make it worse.”  
Dwalin spun around to glare at him but conceded with a grunt and leaned against the wall, knuckling his forehead with a frustrated expression.  
“They have no right to keep us away,” Kíli hissed.  
“We’re in their halls,” Fíli said. “We have to respect their rules.”  
“What if they’re –“  
“Kíli, if you finish that thought I will drag you out of here by your hair and knock your head against a wall until you see sense!” Fíli pulled his brother out of Bofur’s grip and around to face him. “She’s with healers. Gandalf himself has vouched for them. She is safe. No matter how frustrating this is for you, you have to remind yourself that she is safe.”  
Kíli stared at his brother as he spoke, the anger fading from his face. He took a deep breath and nodded, indicating that he had calmed down.  
“Should we go back?” Ori asked nervously.  
“I won’t go back to Balin or Thorin without any answers,” Dwalin said. “I’ll wait here.”  
“Thorin said we should be there for the dinner –“ Bofur started to remind him before Dwalin cut him off sharply.  
“I don’t give a rat’s arse about any dinner with these Elves!”  
“Let me go in!”  
The dwarves all turned to see Bilbo, almost having forgotten he was there.  
“Gandalf said,” he continued. “We need to speak to the Elves with tact and respect and no small degree of charm. I’ll go in and see if I can talk to someone and maybe I can check on her and tell you how she is.”  
They stared at him for a few moments before glancing at each other questioningly.  
“I suppose it can’t hurt to try,” Kíli said with a shrug.  
“What makes you think you can persuade them?” Bofur asked.  
“I’m a hobbit,” Bilbo said with a small smile. “I may have never used a sword or a bow before, I may not know how to ride a pony or hunt or kill a warg, but I know how to be polite, even to people who dislike me. If I can bring myself to have the Sackville-Bagginses over for afternoon tea, I’m sure I can persuade an Elf to let me see Vana.”  
The dwarves just stared at him, not understanding half of what he said at all.  
“Right, well I’ll just…” Bilbo indicated at the door before nodding and going inside.

Kíli was pacing, his head was starting to hurt from all the thinking he had been doing and he needed to distract himself.  
_Where was that hobbit? Was he talking to the healer? Was he talking to Vana? Had he been thrown from a window?  
_ “How are you doing over there?” Bofur called to Kíli from where he sat on the ground. Ori, who was sitting next to him, looked over at Kíli as he answered.  
“Just fine, how about you?” He kept his eyes fixed on the ground, occasionally glancing at the door.  
“I’ve had better afternoons,” Bofur shrugged.  
“Do you think he’s managed to see her?” Ori asked quietly, addressing no one in particular.  
“I doubt it, laddie,” Dwalin answered quietly, still leaning against the wall by the door.  
“He might have found a way to sneak past them?”  
“If he couldn’t sneak past three dim-witted trolls I doubt he can fool the Elves.”  
“Let’s just wait until he gets back,” Fíli interjected. He stood facing the door, occasionally glancing around to watch his brother pace.  
“What could he possibly be doing?” Bofur wondered aloud.  
Kíli said nothing. He just kept pacing.  
Eventually, the door opened and Bilbo reappeared, tiptoeing out of the room behind him. The dwarves immediately strode towards him but he held a finger to his mouth in a ‘shush’ and pointed at the door leading back to the balcony. They marched through it impatiently, turning to him as soon as they were all through.  
“Well, what happened?” Dwalin demanded.  
“Did you see her? Is she alright?” Kíli breathed.  
“What did you say to them?” Bofur asked.  
“Please, please, one at a time!” Bilbo hissed, glancing around them. Once he was sure they were alone, he recounted his tale:  
“I met the Elf we spoke to first. He tried to make me leave but I told him I just wanted to apologise. After many, many long and profuse apologies for your behaviour and the disturbances –“ he rolled his eyes the growls and snorts from the company – “ _disturbances,_ I managed to convince him to look in and see what was happening if I promised to make sure you lot never came near the healing houses again.”  
“You’re not serious?” Kíli asked angrily.  
“It was the only thing that would work!” Bilbo protested before continuing. “He went in and came out with one of the healers, a woman named Éranith I think –“  
Kíli’s anger faded slightly the mention of that name. At least the Elf-maid had stayed with her.  
“- she came out and said she would speak to me. She took me into a free room and sat down with me. She said they’d just finished with her and they were cleaning her up. Apparently they had to remove some of her bone fragments in order to help her shoulder fit back together. She said some of her ribs were broken as well and that they could fix them. They gave her something to put her to sleep and something to help fix the fractures in her bones and then fix the muscle. They say that as long as she is not disturbed for any reason, her bones would heal.”  
“Did she say how long it would take?” Fíli asked.  
“Until she wakes up herself, which could be tonight or tomorrow. She lost a lot of blood and her body needs time to make more.”  
“And then she’ll be back to normal?”  
“She’ll be in pain but they can help her with it if she likes. She’ll also need a bit more time for her muscles to heal properly. And there’ll be a scar. They had to…cut some of the fragments out.” Bilbo went slightly green at the memory of the descriptions he’d been given of that particular detail.  
“She’ll be alright?” Kíli breathed, scarcely able to believe it.  
Bilbo smiled at the prince. “She’ll be fine. She’s asleep now, she looks like she’s just sleeping peacefully.”  
“You saw her?” Kíli suddenly gripped Bilbo’s arms. “They let you see her?”  
“Well, no,” Bilbo said, his expression turning awkward. “Éranith went back into her room and I took a peek around the door, just to make sure. They didn’t hear me, but I had to sneak away so they would think I had left right away.  
“What did you see? Tell me exactly!” Kíli’s expression was almost wild.  
“She was on a bed, sleeping. They’d taken her shirt off and covered her with a blanket.” He raised his hands in a surrender when he saw Kíli’s eyes darken. “I only saw her shoulder and her head. Her shoulder was in a sling and it looked like there were bandages around her chest. They were brushing her hair, I think there was some dried blood in it.”  
“They were touching her hair?” Kíli released Bilbo with a glare. “How dare they –“  
“She’s not a dwarf,” Fíli reminded him. “They probably don’t think it’s a problem.”  
“Am I missing something?” Bilbo eyed Bofur who cleared his throat uncomfortably.  
“Hair is very personal to dwarves. Touching someone’s hair is a very intimate gesture, usually only used between parents and children or…” He coughed once more before mouthing “lovers” at the hobbit.  
“Ah,” he said, nodding.  
Kíli was seething but shook his head to remind himself of the important things:  
“Vana’s alive and she’ll be alright.” It was more of a statement than a question.  
“Yes,” Fíli replied. “She’ll be awake by tomorrow, so you’d better start planning what you’re going to say to her.” He grinned at his younger brother, who smiled back.  
“Say about what?” Ori asked.  
“Nothing you need to worry about lad,” Dwalin clapped the youngest dwarf on the shoulder with a fond smile. “Come on, we need to get back to the others.”

_ Vana _

The darkness was a dead weight, crushing me beneath its unending vastness. Whispers echoed in my head of a language I did not understand. My limbs were heavy, pinning me down and refusing to obey me. I wanted to call out but my mouth refused to open and instead a small rumble escaped my throat. The whispering stopped and I felt a hand on my arm. Slowly the weight began to lift and the darkness gave way to a soft yellow light. My eyelids fluttered open.  
I was in a room I had never seen before. The bed was huge, draped in soft yellow blankets. The walls shone with the light of the sun outside, peering in through the open windows that let a soft breeze flow around the room. I turned my head slightly to find the source of the touch to my arm. Long, slim fingers caressed my wrist and my eyes travelled up the long, pale arm to the face of an Elf, with soft brown hair. I blinked in confusion and opened my mouth to speak. The Elf shook her head and smiled kindly.  
“Do not speak Vana,” she said in a musical voice. “You are safe here. My name is Éranith. Do you know where you are?”  
I shook my head slightly.  
“You are in Rivendell, in the house of Lord Elrond. Kíli is here, along with your companions.”  
“Kíli?” I forced his name out through my dry throat. Éranith quickly moved from sitting on the bed to the bedside table, pouring water from a small jug into a cup. She then reached an arm down to support my head while holding the cup to my face.  
“Drink this slowly,” she said as I gulped the water down. I finished the cup and she lay me back down.  
“Does your shoulder hurt?”  
I instinctively went to rotate my shoulder but winced as it slowly burned.  
“It may hurt for a few more days. You should try to keep it still, so it can heal. If it becomes too painful we can give you something to help.”  
“Where are they?” I asked her, rubbing my eyes with my good hand.  
“They are still at dinner with Lord Elrond. We did not think you wake so soon," she regarded me curiously before continuing. "If you feel up to it, you can join them.”  
I nodded and went to sit up, gasping slightly as my shoulder ached. It wasn’t unbearable, I found, just irritating. I noticed that my chest was sore as well but chose to ignore it.  
“Are you sure?” Éranith held out her arm for me to support myself. “You don’t want to over-exert yourself.”  
“I’m fine,” I insisted, pulling myself upright. The covers fell and I realised my shirt had been removed. I was covered only by a slim bandage around my torso.  
“For your broken ribs,” she explained. “Your clothes have been taken away to be washed and mended.”  
I felt under the covers and realised my trousers were gone too, along with my underclothes. Eranith went to a large, wooden chest at the end of the bed and opened it, producing a pale blue dress from within it.  
“I found this for you to wear. It used to belong to one of the children, but I think it will fit you.”  
_Ah yes, my height. Such a source of amusement for Dwarves, Men and Elves alike._ I couldn’t help but scowl a little.  
“I never usually wear dresses if I can help it,” I admitted.  
“One night will do you no harm.” Éranith smiled and laid the dress on the bed before helping me stand up. “I know you are exhausted, but it will wear off soon. There is a washroom over there and you can take this off as well if you like,” she indicated the sling. “It was just to keep you from rolling on your shoulder in your sleep.”  
“Thank you, but I can dress myself.”  
“As you wish,” she smiled and went to leave the room. I reached up to sweep my hair back over my shoulder – stilling as I realised it was no longer in its braid.  
“Who touched my hair?” I called angrily as the door closed. _The company certainly won’t be happy about that._  
I looked at the blue dress bleakly. It was pale blue of course, not even dark blue; Baby blue. I let out a disgusted sigh and went to the washroom. I removed the sling and decided against having a bath, due to the bandages, and settled for filling a small basin with warm water and washing myself with the small cloth I found neatly folded next to it. Once I had freshened up, I reluctantly slipped the blue dress over my head. It hung slightly off my shoulders, showing the bandage on my shoulder, and I had to roll the sleeves back slightly so they wouldn’t cover my hands. The skirt of the dress only just reached the floor. To my dismay, I noticed the dress had to be buttoned up at the back, but I refused to ask for help. This would be embarrassing enough as it was. I reached around behind me, using the mirror in the washroom to help and managed to do the first three with no problems. The fourth one, however, was slightly too high for me to reach. I attempted to reach over my shoulders, which was more than a little sore, to no avail. I managed to do up the top three buttons from this position and decided to leave the last one. The bodice of the dress was held together anyway and who was going to notice? I noticed a pair of slippers had been laid out on the floor by the bed as well but I decided to leave them. The sun warmed the stone floors and besides, I was always more comfortable barefoot.

I made my way down the corridor from my room and found a large staircase, descending in a half-circle down into what must be the front hall. I went down, searching for any hint of dwarves. As I got to the bottom I saw two very disgruntled looking Elves appear from beneath the staircase, whispering to each other in their strange language. They appeared very aggravated by whatever they had just left; a good place to start. I turned to go back the way they had come from and opened a door into a stone courtyard. Sure enough, there sat two tables where twelve of the dwarves and Bilbo sat, amidst many plates of green leaves, vegetables and nuts. Most of the dwarves were eyeing the food suspiciously, while others, Dwalin included, were openly rifling through it in search of meat. Beyond them was a round table at which Gandalf and Thorin sat along with a tall, noble-looking Elf that had to be Lord Elrond. None of them had noticed me yet.  
A few more Elves stood around the dwarves, some of whom carried plates of food and jugs of wine, some of whom had instruments and played a soft, slow tune. I spotted one of them – an Elf-maid playing a harp – looking over at Kíli with an expression of interest on her face. He looked back at her for a moment and I could swear I saw him wink at her before flashing her a small, cheeky smile. I leant against a pillar, watching with interest as he caught Dwalin’s eye. He looked less than amused.  
“Can’t say I fancy Elf-maids myself.” Kíli remarked casually.  “Too thin. They’re all high cheekbones and creamy skin. Not enough facial hair for me.” I raised an eyebrow at this. _I don’t remember this ever being an issue._  
He looked around at the surrounding elves, all of whom seemed oblivious to his comments. “Although that one there’s not bad.” He nodded at one elf who was passing behind him.  
“That’s not an elf-maid.” Dwalin hissed.  
Kíli looked around again and saw to his horror that the elf he had indicated was indeed a male elf playing a lute.  
“That’s funny.” Kíli muttered as the other dwarves began to laugh heartily at the prince. He slumped in his chair, glowering at his plate.  
“Hysterical.” I commented, smirking at Kíli .  
At this the dwarves all turned to me, grins breaking out over their faces.  
“Vana!” Dwalin exclaimed, almost leaping out of his chair to pick me up and swing me around. Despite the twinge of pain in my shoulder I couldn’t help but laugh and hug him back.  
“Are yeh feelin’ better?” He asked, gently placing me down.  
“Aye, much better. Thanks,” I grinned and turned to Bofur who clapped me on my uninjured shoulder.  
“It’s good to see you on your feet lass,” He said cheerily.  
Before I could respond, I found myself enveloped in a familiar pair of arms.


	11. An Evening With Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Internet is fixed! Prepare for numerous updates!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Elves, and Vana finds out the name of her sword.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli didn’t know what he thought he was doing. He was finally relaxed, knowing that Vana was safe and healing. His conversation with Dwalin had lifted a huge weight off his shoulders and he was both excited and nervous at the prospect of finally telling Vana how he truly felt. He tried to think what he might say to her, but the dinner distracted him. It was utterly bizarre, he thought, to have dinner with no meat. All they had were the side dishes; vegetables and salads. It baffled him.   
_Elves are such queer creatures_ , he thought to himself as he peered at the ones surrounding him. He caught the eye of one particular Elf-maid who was looking at him with great interest. Practically out of instinct, he winked at her and smiled to himself before catching Dwalin’s eye. He was glaring at him, silently reminding him that he had, only a couple of hours ago, requested permission to marry his daughter. To try and save face he attempted to turn it into a joke. He succeeded in that everyone laughed – they were just laughing at him. He felt his face grow hot and looked at his plate, grumbling.   
"That's funny."  
“Hysterical,” came a sarcastic remark. He turned to find Vana smirking at him from across the room having witnessed the entire thing. He felt his face grow even redder and had the sudden urge to hide under the table.  
He was soon distracted from his embarrassment, however, by the difference in her appearance. She was wearing a pale blue dress, accentuating the red hues in her copper hair which tumbled freely past her shoulder. It curled slightly from having spent so long in a braid and shone as the light of the evening sun hit it. As she walked towards them her dress moved with her in a way that made the rest of Kíli’s body feel markedly warmer. It hugged her slight curves even though it seemed slightly too big for her, hanging off her shoulders so the bone structure surrounding her neck was exposed. He watched as Dwalin hugged her tightly, swinging her around in a moment of sheer joy. Bofur got up from next to him and he was knocked out of his reverie when his brother leaned over to smack him on the arm.  
“What are you doing?” He hissed, though he grinned widely. “Get over there!”  
Kíli was on his feet instantly, practically sprinting to her and wrapping his arms tightly around her.   
“I’m so glad you’re alright,” he whispered in her ear.  
She hugged him back for a split second before stilling and pulling away, leaving him standing with his arms still open.

_ Vana _

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Kíli whispered. I couldn’t help but close my eyes for a moment, just to breathe in his scent.   
“Don’t you worry,” I pulled away. “It takes more than a warg bite to keep me from dinner.”  
“Of course!” Fíli practically shoved Kíli aside to hug me in turn. “Our woman’s a tough one!” He broke away, grinning widely.   
“Here you go Vana,” Bilbo has stood up and was pulling out an empty seat next to Balin. “We saved you a seat, just in case.” He smiled.  
“Thank you,” I returned his smile and took my seat next to Balin, opposite Fíli, while Bilbo resumed his place on the other side of the white-haired dwarf.  
“How’re you feeling lass?” Balin enquired, pouring water into my goblet.  
“A bit stiff, but I’ll be fine.” I smiled.  
“Does it hurt?” Bilbo asked, handing me an empty plate.  
“Not really. Not anymore.” I eyed the food. “I take it there’s no meat?”  
“Not a scrap,” Dwalin grumbled.   
I turned towards him only to catch Kíli’s eye. He was no longer smiling, instead his gaze was almost sad, his eyes full of worry.  
I turned away and tried to ignore him, remembering what he had said in the hidden passage.  
_“You stupid woman! You could’ve died!”  
“Don’t you ever, _ ever, _do anything like that again!”_  
“Vana, my dear!” I looked up to see Gandalf waving me over. “Come and sit with us a moment? There’s someone I want you to meet.”  
I nodded and went over to them. Thorin stood up as I approached.   
“How are you feeling?” he asked me softly.   
“I’ve been better, but I’ll live.” I replied with a smile. He returned it.   
“Vana, I would like to introduce Lord Elrond, our host,” Gandalf indicated the Elf who stood to receive me. He was the tallest person I’d ever seen, even taller than Gandalf and he appeared incredibly graceful even as he bowed slightly, his hand over his heart as he greeted me.   
“I am very pleased to meet you, Miss Vana,” he smiled kindly and indicated the chair opposite him. “Please sit down and eat. You must regain your strength.”   
“Thank you, my lord” I bowed my head slightly and took the offered seat.   
“I was just telling Lord Elrond about the swords we found on the road. I thought he could tell us a little more about them.” To my surprise he reached down and picked up my sword from beneath his chair. “I hope you don’t mind?”   
I shook my head and he handed the sword to Elrond, who began to inspect the hilt and the sheath. Finally, he drew the sword slightly out of its sheath.   
“This is a famous blade…” he said softly. “This is Ringil, the ‘Cold Bite’. It was wielded by Nolofinwë, a High King of the Noldor, the Elves of Beleriand. In the Common Tongue he was known as Fingolfin, the brother of Fëanor who created the three gems we call Simarils. It was with this blade that Fingolfin wounded Morgoth. They say it bit with chilling cold, and glittered like ice with a pale light.”   
I stared at the blade in his hand. It was certainly beautiful, but I had no idea it held such significance. To my shock, Elrond handed the sword to me over the table.   
“May it deliver many chilling blows to your enemies,” he said. Thorin watched the whole scene in wonder.  
The breath caught in my throat as I took it. “You’re giving it back to me?” I couldn’t help asking.   
“You found it,” Elrond said. “It has already saved your life once. You are its new owner now.”  
“But…” I faltered. I was trying my best not to sound rude or ungrateful. “It’s an Elvish blade, a King’s blade, and I am just a common woman.”  
“And yet, the sword still serves its purpose,” Elrond raised a thin eyebrow, seeming amused at my protests. “You may leave it here if you wish, of course, but I would hate to think I was sending you from my house unarmed when my healers just spent most of their day saving your life.”  
I nodded, blushing furiously. “Forgive me, my Lord, I would be honoured to take it.”   
Elrond nodded and turned to Gandalf who handed him Thorin’s sword.   
“Ah, yes, I know this sword well. This is Orcrist, the ‘Goblin Cleaver.’ A famous blade forged by the High Elves of the West, my kin.” He turned to Thorin and handed him the sword. “May it serve you well.”  
Thorin accepted it with a gracious nod and Gandalf handed him his sword.   
“This is Glamdring,” Elrond said almost as soon as he saw it. “The Foehammer. The sword of the King of Gondolin.” He handed it back to Gandalf with a curious frown.  “How did you come by these?”   
“We found them in a troll-hoard on the Great East Road,” Gandalf replied. “Shortly before we were ambushed by Orcs.”   
“And what were you doing on the Great East Road?” Elrond regarded Gandalf with a knowing expression; as if he already knew the answer.   
“Excuse me,” Thorin said with a grunt and got up from his chair, indicating that I should follow.   
“May I also be excused?” I asked Lord Elrond who nodded his consent. I followed Thorin back to the tables and took my seat next to Balin again.   
“What was that about then lass?”  
“My sword, mostly.” I replied, resting it on my lap. “He said it belonged to a High King of Beleriand, and that he used it to wound Morgoth.”  
“I say, that is impressive.” Balin said. Bilbo looked at it with awe and I suddenly felt very self-conscious. “And its name?” Balin asked.  
“Ringil.”   
“What does that mean?” Bilbo asked, still staring at the sword.   
“Cold Bite.”   
“Fascinating.” Bilbo then looked to his own sword, which was about half the size of mine. Balin saw this and shook his head at the hobbit.   
“I wouldn’t bother laddie. Swords are named for their great deeds in war.”  
“What are you saying? My sword hasn’t seen battle?”   
“I’m not really sure it is a sword,” Balin admitted. “More of a letter-opener really.”   
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Bilbo’s expression. He looked so crest-fallen.  
“Change the tune why don’t you?” Nori suddenly burst out, turning to the harpist. “I feel like I’m at a funeral!”  
“Funeral? Did somebody die?” Óin asked. .   
“Right lads,” Bofur threw down his napkin. “There’s only one thing for it!” He proceeded to get up from his chair and climb onto a small pillar in between the two tables.   
“Can we stop him?” I whispered to Balin.   
“Too late lass.”  
Bofur began to stamp his foot in a beat, making the Elves stop their music and glance at each other in a mixture of confusion and shock at being so rudely interrupted. He then began to sing and the Company soon began to stamp their feet and hammer their hands on the table along with him.

 _There’s an inn, there’s an inn,_  
There’s a merry old inn,  
Beneath an old grey hill,  
And there they brew a beer so brown,  
The man on the moon himself came down,  
One night to drink his fill.

By this point even Balin was joining in and a plate flew across the room past Lord Elrond, who watched the whole spectacle with a calm derision.  
I caught Gandalf’s eye and shrugged to indicate my innocence in this. He only groaned.

 _The ostler has a tipsy cat_  
That plays a five-stringed fiddle;  
And up and down he saws his bow  
Now squeaking high, now purring low,  
Now sawing in the middle.

Bofur was now dancing on his pillar and the food was flying in all directions. Thorin was standing by the table farthest from Elrond and laughing at the whole scene. Bilbo looked mortified at the whole ordeal and the Elves were less than impressed. I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter but then a leaf hit me in the face, courtesy of Fíli, and I just had to respond by pelting a tomato at him.

 _So the cat on the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,_  
A jig that would wake the dead:  
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,  
While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:  
'It's after three!' he said.

With a cheer, the dwarves finished their food fight, Kíli throwing a handful of mashed potato to the wall by Lindir’s head. He looked at the mess with disgust but otherwise remained perfectly composed. Gandalf caught my eye again as I was about to empty the water jug over Fíli’s head and I thought better of it. I sat back down and smiled apologetically at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to Lord Elrond.   
“You see that the dwarves’ love of merriment and song is rivalled only by that of the Elves,” he said with a forced laugh. Elrond only raised a thin eyebrow.

_ Dwalin _

Dwalin’s foul mood, that had only been piled upon when he discovered they would get no meat that evening, was all gone. It was good to see her laughing again and he had to wander at the medicine the Elves had given her. She seemed as good as new, though he could see the bandage around her shoulder. While she sat amidst the lively chatter of the Company, he stood and made his way over to his leader.   
“She seems much better,” Thorin said softly with a nod in Vana’s direction.  
“Aye, and her arm seems to be workin’ alright.”  
“We’ll have to see if she can fight tomorrow.”  
“So soon?” Dwalin’s smile faded as he regarded his king. “Thorin, she’s only just woken up. Bilbo said she would need rest.”  
“I don’t want to spend any more time here than necessary. I can’t have anyone else slowing us down.” Thorin took a sip of his wine before noticing Dwalin’s thunderous expression.  
“I don’t mean to sound callous,” he explained, his tone softening. “I don’t want to leave her behind, but if she cannot fight then she will not be able to aid us on this quest. Especially when we have to go through the High Pass; I don’t have to tell you how dangerous that place will be, especially for a woman, should we encounter any goblins.”  
Dwalin forced himself to swallow the bile that had risen in his throat – goblins were notorious for their treatment of females.   
“Yeh know yer nephews would never leave her behind?”  
“They would if they knew it was the safest place for her. They care for her too much to risk losing her.”  
“And would yeh trust in this place enough to leave her here? Under the care of the Elves?”  
Thorin said nothing at first, regarding the young woman as she and Bofur exchanged wicked grins at a joke he hadn’t heard.   
“You know better than anyone what I think of Elves,” Thorin said softly. “But these ones have opened their home to us and they healed her. Besides, she is not a dwarf. They have no qualms with her.”  
“I shall ask her to spar with us tomorrow,” Dwalin said. “Perhaps you could ask the Elf-lord how long she might need to recover?”  
“I will,” Thorin nodded as he grinned at his nephews before turning to his oldest friend and clapped him on the shoulder. “I promise you Dwalin, I will give her as much time as I can spare to recover. I know I was not keen on the idea of her joining our company, but I have seen that she is nothing but an asset to us, and besides -” he glanced at his youngest nephew who was smiling softly at her as she spoke with Bofur. “-I’d have to drag Kíli kicking and screaming from her side.”  
Dwalin looked at him questioningly, and for the first time in many weeks, Thorin laughed loudly.  
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed! He looks at her the same way Dis looked at his father!”  
“Of course I noticed! I hadn’t realised _you_ had!”  
“Dwalin, my friend, I’m old, not blind!”

_ Vana _

The pain relief the Elves had given me was starting to wear off and my shoulder began to twinge slightly as my limbs grew heavy. Sleep suddenly seemed heavenly.   
“I’m going to bed,” I said to Balin. “Please make my excuses to everyone else. I think I overdid it a little.”  
“Of course, dear,” he nodded. “Would you like me to ask Elrond to send a healer?”   
“No, no. I just need to sleep. Good night, Balin.”  
“Good night dear,” he gave me a warm smile as I turned away. I quickly thanked Elrond for dinner before walking briskly out of the room, waving good night to every one as I went. I made it around the corner before the soft sound of my name being called reached my ears and I turned around to find myself face to face with Kíli.   
“Can we talk? Please?” His voice was soft and pleading. I looked at him for a moment, wanting to say yes, but before I knew it I was shaking my head.   
“It’s been a long day, Kíli ,” I said flatly. “I’m tired. I need to rest.”  
“Are you alright?” He laid a hand on my arm but I flinched away from his touch.   
“I’m tired and I need to rest,” I repeated. “I’ll see you in the morning.” With that, I turned on my heel and headed back to my room.   
When I opened the door I spotted my travelling clothes, freshly washed and neatly folded at the foot of my bed and my pack was on the floor beside it. Uttering a silent thankful prayer, I placed Ringil on top of the wooden chest and began to unbutton the dress. Sliding the feral thing to the floor, I pulled my clean shirt and underclothes on and packed my trousers and breast band into my pack. My chainmail and tunic I slung onto the wooden chest before sliding into bed.   
The sun was dipping low over the horizon, illuminating the winding rivers that extended out into the wilds. I lay on my good shoulder and watched it sink lower, the memories of this morning flashing in disjointed fragments through my head.

 _“I guess you two are barred from pony duty until further notice?”  
“It’s an elvish blade. May it serve you well.”  
“Radagast! Radagast the Brown.”  
“Something’s coming!”  
“Trust you to be more distracted by the rabbits than the wizard.”  
“Are there wolves out there?”  
“Wolves? No that is not a wolf.”  
“Warg scouts!”   
“You are being hunted!”   
“We have to get out of here!”  
“These are Gundabad wargs!”   
“These are Rhosgobel rabbits!  
“There’s more coming!”   
“Kíli! Vana! Shoot them!”  
Burning pains in my shoulder and chest. Crushed bones. Hot, thick blood coating my skin and clothes.   
“Vana!”   
“Kíli! Go, now!”   
“Why did you do that?!” “You stupid woman! You could’ve died!”  
“You should have kept running!”  
“You almost died! Do you understand that?”  
“You may be a prince of Durin’s folk, but that doesn’t make you invincible!”  
“Don’t you ever, _ ever _do that again!”_

I gritted my teeth as furious tears ran down my face. _I almost died today. Not only am I stupid, now I’m stupid and injured. They’ll never let me continue. They’ll send me home._  
I buried my fist into the pillow, wincing as the movement sent a shooting pain into my shoulder. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed myself not to move until the pain subsided. When they opened, the sun was almost completely gone.

 

 


	12. A Sky Full of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili is determined to make it up to Vana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the rating may have gone up and there may be some additional tags and...umm...yeah...

_ Thorin _

“Our business is no concern of Elves!” Thorin protested angrily to Gandalf. Elrond, as ever, did not react and simply waited patiently behind the wizard.  
“For goodness sake, Thorin!” Gandalf huffed. “Show him the map.”  
Thorin made no move to get the map and instead fixed the two of them with a dark look. From beside him, Balin and Bilbo watched with anticipation.  
“It is the legacy of my people. It is mine to protect, as are its secrets.”  
Gandalf let out yet another exasperated sigh; “Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves! Your pride will be your downfall. You stand here in the presence of the one of the few in Middle-Earth who can read that map. Show it to Lord Elrond!”  
Thorin glared at the wizard before looking to the Elf-lord who remained as composed as ever. With a threatening gaze, he forced himself to concede, acknowledging the necessity of reading the map, and pulled the map out of his pocket.  
“Thorin, no -” Balin began to protest but Thorin ignored him and handed the map over to Elrond.  
“Erebor,” Elrond observed as he unfolded the faded paper. “What is your interest in this map?”  
“It’s mainly academic,” Gandalf answered immediately. “As you know, this sort of artefact sometimes contains hidden text. You still read Ancient Dwarvish do you not?”  
Elrond cast Gandalf a knowing look before turning to peer at the map in the moonlight. Thorin nodded to Gandalf in thanks before watching Elrond intently as he studied the map, tilting it slightly before whispering “ _Cirth Ithil_.”  
“Moon runes,” Gandalf nodded with a small smile before turning to them. “Of course, yes. An easy thing to miss.”  
“Well in this case that is true,” Elrond said as he turned to face them. “For moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written.”  
“Can you read them?” Thorin asked, hardly able to breathe at the thought of finally finding the key to his quest.  
Elrond motioned for them to follow and they complied as he led them out of his study and up a narrow staircase that seemed to disappear into the stone. Many minutes of climbing later, they reached an open overlook that was tucked into an indent in the valley’s cliff face, the outer section open to the world. A series of thin waterfalls cascaded down the valley’s face past the overlook and Thorin could make out the moonlight behind it, desperately making its way around the thin clouds layering the night sky.  
“These runes were written on a midsummer’s eve, by the light of a crescent moon nearly two hundred years ago. It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell.” He gave a small smile as he laid the map onto a stone surface that was almost as tall as Thorin. “Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield. That same moon shines upon us tonight.”  
With that, Elrond’s eyes moved to the sky and, as if on cue, the clouds parted to reveal the moon behind them. The moonlight shimmered through the falling water onto the map and Thorin could see silver runes start to make themselves known on the yellowing paper. Elrond smoothed the paper out and began to read.  
“Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun, with the last light of Durin’s day, will shine upon the keyhole.”  
“Durin’s day?” Bilbo’s voice piped up and Thorin glanced at the hobbit, having almost forgotten he was there.  
“It is the start of the dwarves’ new year,” Gandalf explained. “When the last moon of autumn and the first sun of winter appear in the sky together.”  
“This is ill news,” Thorin turned to Balin. “Summer is passing. Durin’s day will soon be upon us.”  
“We still have time,” Balin raised a calming hand.  
“Time for what?” Bilbo frowned.  
“To find the entrance. We need to be standing in exactly the right spot at exactly the right time. Then, and only then, can the door be opened.”  
“So this is your purpose?” Elrond asked and Thorin silently cursed himself for speaking so freely. “To enter the mountain?”  
“What of it?” Thorin growled, but Elrond only raised a dark eyebrow and handed the map back to Thorin.  
“There are some who would not deem it wise.”  
“Who do you mean?” Gandalf asked and Elrond turned to him with another knowing look.  
“You are not the only Guardian to stand watch over Middle-Earth.” he said before striding out of the room.  
Thorin wasn’t entirely sure what Elrond was implying, but he stiffened as he saw Gandalf’s worried look. He went to the wizard but he held up a hand before he could say anything.  
“We know what the map says now,” Gandalf reminded him. “This is a good thing. It seems I may have some extra business to attend to here. When the time comes, you may have to leave without me. If you do, be sure to wait for me in the mountains.”  
“And when should that time be?” Thorin asked exasperatedly.  
“You’ll know,” Gandalf replied before leaving him to his angry protests.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli was chewing the end of his pipe, gazing out over the valley as the sun continued to sink. The company had long since retired to their self-assigned quarters and while they milled about, arguing over sleeping arrangements and shuffling their bedrolls and packs around the various sofas and chairs, Kíli was sitting on the balcony, his back against the outer wall of the building and his legs stretched out in front of him.  
“Brother?”  
Kíli turned to find Fíli standing with his arms folded, fixing him with a questioning look.  
“You know it helps to light it?” he smirked. “Oh, and having some pipeweed makes things easier too.”  
“You’re hilarious,” Kíli grunted.  
“What troubles you?”  
Kíli sighed. “I’ll give you three guesses.”  
“Vana?”  
Kíli nodded, placing the pipe back in his mouth.  
“Brother, she’s fine,” Fíli reassured him, sitting on the balcony by his legs. “She seemed as good as new tonight.”  
“I know,” Kíli shook his head. “But I tried to speak to her, to apologise. She didn’t want to hear it.”  
“You wanted to apologise for what you said back in the cave?”  
“That,” He nodded. “And for not protecting her, for not staying with her when she needed me.”  
“Kíli , she was unconscious while she was in the healing houses. She wouldn’t have known you were there.”  
“I meant before, on the plains, when she was attacked.” Kíli gripped his pipe fiercely that the wood creaked in protest. “She was trying to protect me and I… _I ran away!_ ” His last words came out in a hiss and his expression became fierce. “I left her there. She would have died if not for Thorin.”  
“Kíli you didn’t know what was happening. And you didn’t run away when you realised; Thorin pushed you into the cave, I saw.”  
Kíli didn’t respond, instead he tried to stop his hands from shaking. Fíli laid a hand on his arm as he continued.  
“You would have gone back if you could. And then you would be the one with the scars and she would be the one furious with herself for not being there for you. You are both as bad as each other, it’s no wonder you fit so well together!”  
Kíli smiled slightly at his brother’s words but it soon faded.  
“She wouldn’t speak to me Fíli. She couldn’t get away from me fast enough. What if she never forgives me for my words?”  
He frowned as Fíli began to laugh.  
“My dear brother,” Fíli gasped between barks of laughter. “If she never forgave you for your words, you would never have managed to stay friends for so long.” He clapped his brother on the shoulder. “If anyone understands that your mouth runs away with itself it’s Vana. She’s experienced enough of your mood swings over the years!”  
Kíli punched his brother in the arm, laughing as Fíli grabbed his arm and pulled him into a wrestle. After a few moments of struggle, Fíli had locked his arms around Kíli’s neck and Kíli held his hands up in surrender.  
“Point proven,” Fíli chuckled as he released his brother.  
“What should I do, Fíli?” Kíli stared at his big brother; he always valued Fíli’s opinions the most, even more than his mother or uncle. Fíli was the one who knew him best after all. Fíli’s smile grew soft as he pointed to the door.  
“Go and speak to her. If she doesn’t want to listen, speak anyway. If she slams the door in your face, speak through the keyhole. You need to get this off your chest before the guilt disrupts my sleep.” He grinned and took hold of his little brother’s arm, hauling him off the balcony. “Go, now or I will drag you there myself.”  
“Alright, alright!” Kíli groaned but smiled at Fíli. “Thank you, brother.”  
“You’re welcome, now go!” Fíli gave him a final shove and Kíli threw his pipe to him before leaving in search of Vana’s room.

_ Vana _

The sky was darkening and through the open doors the cool breeze of the summer night was starting to whisper its way through from the balcony. I breathed deeply, trying to shut my mind down. Soon I was shivering and goosebumps were appearing on my exposed skin. With a sigh, I pulled the covers back and went to close the doors. As I fastened the lock shut, I spotted a small light glinting far up in the sky; the first star was out. A small smile crept onto my face, only to be startled by a heavy knock at the door. I was instantly alert, my fingers itching instinctively towards my hips where my knife belt would be until I shook my head, reminding myself that I was in a safe place – _an Elvish house for Mahal’s sake!­­_ – and crept towards the door. Easing it open a fraction, I sighed as a familiar pair of deep brown eyes found mine.  
“Kíli, what are you doing here?”  
He didn’t answer, instead he began to shuffle uneasily on the spot and I saw in the dim light that his face was flushed. A small draft blew in through the open door and as it hit my legs I suddenly remembered that I was only in my shirt and underclothes. I blushed and quickly grabbed what appeared to be a robe hanging on the back of the door and wrapped it around myself. It pooled at my feet onto the floor.  
“Sorry,” Kíli said quietly, keeping his eyes fixed on his feet. “I should have realised you would be asleep.”  
“I wasn’t,” I said flatly.  
“I just…I need to talk to you.”  
“Kíli can we do this later?”  
“No, I need to talk to you right now.” His voice was suddenly hard and his eyes fixed on mine. I took a deep breath and stepped aside, letting him through the door, closing it after him.  
“What is it?”  
He didn’t answer at first, instead just looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read. Eventually he took a step towards me.  
“Vana, I -" He cut himself off, shaking his head slightly before taking a deep breath. “I just…I’m sorry.” Then he couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry for everything I said. I was so worried about you. You scared me to death when you went after that warg! I heard you screaming and I tried to go back but Thorin pushed me – then you were covered in blood and – and I – I thought -” He gazed at me, looking utterly grief-stricken. “I thought I had lost you. Do you understand that?”  
“I understand,” I replied quietly, meeting his eye. “I thought I was going to lose you. That warg was catching up to you. I did what I had to, to save you.”  
“You didn’t have to -"  
“Yes. I did.” I glared at him. “You’re such a hypocrite, you know. As if you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing if it were me.”  
“It _was_ you!” Kíli snarled. “ _You_ were down, _you_ were bleeding on the ground with a warg on top of you. I was the one pushed into a cave while you were about to be killed. Do you have _any_ idea how that felt?”  
I had no response to that, though I did my best to think of one. Kíli took advantage of my silence and continued:  
“You collapsed in my arms. You were unconscious and bleeding. I tried to wake you up. I wouldn’t let anyone else near you, even the Elves. I took you to the healing houses but they refused to let me in with you. I had to watch as you were taken away from me, not knowing if you were going to come out again. Tell me, Vana, what would you have done if it were me?”  
“I would have called you an idiot and wished it was me instead,” I admitted before fixing him with an icy glare. “But I wouldn’t have made you feel like a weak and feeble creature.”  
“What do you mean?” Kíli frowned.  
“Look at this, Kíli ,” I moved the shoulder of the robe and my shirt away to expose the bandage. “It’s my bow arm. And I can’t use a sword one-handed, at least not well. You think Thorin’s going to let me stay now?”  
“Vana -"  
“First it was the man in Bree, then it was the nightmare and the incident with the knife, now it’s this stupid, bloody shoulder. Thorin made it perfectly clear before he left Ered Luin that he didn’t want me here, now he has the perfect excuse. I’m reckless, I’m a liability and I’m weak -"  
“Don’t!” Kíli stepped right up to me. “Don’t you dare say that!”  
My retort was cut off as his lips crashed against mine, his hands locking onto my face. He was rough, holding my face tight against his and I froze, trying to process what was happening.  
_He was yelling at me, and now he’s kissing me. He’s not supposed to be kissing me. He’s angry, I’m angry, I should stop this. But I don’t want to stop this._  
His lips opened mine and I felt his tongue touch mine, slide over my teeth as his hands moved down onto my neck, his fingers pressing into my skin. He moaned softly into my mouth as my arms snaked around his waist, pulling him against me.  
He pulled away suddenly, pressing his forehead against mine, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought to breathe evenly.  
“Vana, please forgive me.” His voice was barely a whisper. “I love you. I love you so much I fear it may kill me. You’re my One, you’re the only woman for me, the most precious jewel, the brightest star. You make me feel alive and I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t by my side.”  
I was trembling all over, my mouth hanging open in shock at his words. _I know Kíli loves me but…his One? His eternal love?  
_ His eyes opened and I gazed into them, trying to find the words. I wanted to tell him how his words made me feel; that they both terrified and excited me beyond anything. That I never felt safer or more at home, than I did in his arms. That I could never measure up to what he deserved but that I would do my best to try.  
Instead my eyes never left his as my hand travelled up and my fingers weaved their way into his hair. It was soft and sleek, tangling around my fingertips like vines. This most intimate of dwarven gestures made Kíli’s eyes grow wide. With a small, shocked smile, his hand moved from my neck to the side of my head and he slowly stroked it down my loose hair, running his fingers between the strands. My other hand moved to his face and I traced my fingertips softly over the stubble on his cheek and jaw, softly running one finger across his lips and feeling his gasp of breath tickle my skin.  
“Vana?” His whispering of the name he had given me made my fingers tighten in his hair.  
“Kíli,” I placed my fingers over his lips. “I don’t have your way with words. I can’t make pretty speeches. But I do love you, so much more that I could ever say even if I was the most skilled poet.” I loosened my hold on him, stepping back out of his reach, my eyes never leaving his as I shrugged the robe off of my shoulders. Kíli’s face flushed as he watched me and his body shifted slightly.  
“Vana -"   
“Stay with me tonight?” The words were out before he could finish. He stared at me in wonder, speechless for the first time in his life. I gazed at him, waiting for him to find his words again.  
“Are…are you sure?”  
I stepped up to him, my hands resting on his chest. I found the centre and smiled as I felt his heart beating furiously against my palm.  
“I love you, Kíli, and I want to show you how much. Will you let me do that?”  
He gazed at me, his eyes shining even against the dim light of the night sky. Slowly, he drew me towards him, burying his hands in my hair as his lips found my ear where he whispered: “ _Azyûngal.”  
_ I knew very little of Khuzdul, but still the word ignited something in my chest and I suddenly found myself unable to breathe. Kíli’s mouth found mine and I melted into his kiss. It started softly, our mouths moving together, but soon he was pressing his tongue against mine and my hands were unlacing his shirt. His lips moved across my jaw to the tip of my earlobe, slipping onto my neck and I gasped at the warmth spreading across my skin from his kisses. I slipped my hands under his shirt as he pressed kisses down my neck, tracing them lightly over his hips and waist. His lips found the junction between my neck and my shoulder and I gasped as they caused me to tremble uncontrollably. My senses were suddenly heightened and I felt the control of my body slowly slip away. I felt Kíli smile against my skin as I moved one hand back into his hair to hold him where he was and he went back to nuzzle that one sweet spot, fastening his lips onto my skin and sucking lightly, running his tongue over it as I melted into his grasp.  
My fingers gripped the hem of his shirt and he pulled away to rip it over his head. He moved to kiss me again but I beat him to it, burying my face in his neck and exploring it with my lips. His skin was soft under my lips, and hot. I felt his chest rise and fall rapidly as he leant his head back so I could reach the hollow of his throat. My hands ran down his chest, feeling the soft, thick hair spread over his torso, extending down his stomach before it disappeared into his trousers. I heard him gasp as my fingers traced the top of his trousers and I let them slip to the hard bulge just below.  
He groaned and stepped away, leaning down to pull off his boots and socks, before unlacing his trousers and letting them fall to the floor. He stood up straight and stepped out of them, only wearing his underclothes now and I gazed at his sun-kissed body which seemed to glow in the darkness of the room. I took a deep breath and grasped the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head, ignoring the protests of my stiff shoulder. As I dropped my shirt on the floor I saw Kíli’s gaze move to the bandage on my chest. I fingered the knot at my side nervously.  
“I don’t need it,” I said softly as I started to untie it. “My ribs are fine now.”  
Kíli stepped forward, wordlessly taking the edge of the material from me. He passed it around me, reaching behind my back to unwind it slowly from my body. As it loosened I felt my face grow hot until finally it was gone entirely, my chest was exposed and my face was burning. I glanced down and saw, to my horror, that there was a yellowing bruise spread across my left side, from just beneath my breast down to just above my stomach. I wrapped my arms around myself suddenly very self-conscious.  
Kíli’s eyes found mine and he tentatively laid a hand on my uninjured shoulder.  
“Does it hurt?”  
“N-no,” I stammered, still blushing furiously. He stroked the back of his hand down my burning face before kneeling down, and pressing his face into my stomach. He nuzzled the skin just above my navel, pressing soft little kisses over the skin before gripping my arms gently and pulling them away from my torso. He softly moved his kisses up my waist, pausing at the edge of the bruised skin before ever so lightly brushing his lips over it.  
“How about now?” He whispered, his breath grazing my skin.  
“No…” I breathed, feeling a warmth grow in the pit of my stomach. Kíli stood up again, sliding his hands up my arms.  
“You are beautiful, Vana,” he whispered, his face inches from mine. His fingers traced their way over my shoulders (extremely carefully), and across my collarbone before venturing down to my breasts. His breathing quickened as he began to explore the soft mounds.  
“So beautiful…”  
The breath caught in my throat as his fingers touched my hardened nipples and I had to bite down on my bottom lip to stop a moan from escaping. Kíli sensed my tension and immediately moved his hands back to my arms.  
“Do you want to stop?” He breathed, his eyes finding mine. They had darkened with his desire but at the same time they were wide with concern. “I can stop whenever you want me to. Just say the word. This needs to be perfect for you.”  
I gazed at him; his gorgeous, brown eyes, the way his brow furrowed a little with concern, the soft stubble that coated his cheeks and jaw, surrounding his lips which were slightly open in trepidation. I suddenly couldn’t help but press my own lips against them, very briefly, before stepping away. He watched as I slowly lowered my underclothes to the floor, kicking them lightly aside and finally standing before him completely bare. I watched his eyes roam over my body, his lips parted as his chest rose and fell with every deep breath. His eyes found mine again and he slowly bent down to remove his own underclothes. I couldn’t help but gasp a little; _he truly is…well-proportioned…_  
I stepped closer to him and slowly wrapped my arms around his waist, placing my hands on the warm skin of his back. His hands went to my hips and we began to explore each other. I ran my hands down his back, following the curve of his spine down to his backside and back up again. His fingers traced little patterns onto my skin, over my hips and stomach. Even with his calloused fingers, his touch was gentle, sending shivers up my spine whilst burning my skin at the same time. He kept his face close to mine as he cupped my breast, making me moan softly and I moved my hands down over his bottom to pull him close to me. He let out a groan as his erection pressed into me and I reached down to tentatively wrap my hand around it. He gasped at my touch, squeezing my breast slightly and pulling me against him with his other hand. I pressed my forehead against his as I started to move my hand up his length and back down to the base, trying to get used to his touch and his size. He groaned again and pressed his lips against mine, hard. I kissed him back as I continued to touch him, simultaneously excited and made nervous by his reactions, particularly as he became harder.  
“Vana…”  
My name uttered in my ear stalled my movements and I pulled away to look at him. His face was slightly flushed, his lips parted in wonder and his eyes darkened with desire. I gently stepped back towards the bed, pulling him with me until we were sitting on the bed together. I moved to kiss him again, my hands on his face guiding him as I lay back and brought him with me. He kissed me back so passionately and so tenderly that I couldn’t help but moan, feeling the excitement stirring in the pit of my stomach. I touched every inch of him I could reach, from his hair to his chest to his legs. He kept one hand in my hair, holding my face against his and the other he traced down my front to my stomach. I began to moan as he teased his fingers below my stomach, moving them across to my thighs and down my legs, before stroking them back up the inside. Slowly, he began to stroke between my legs, exploring me and I had to bite down on my bottom lip to keep myself quiet. The sensitive skin was set alight by his touch and I could hardly keep still and he traced his finger over my opening. Soon, he discovered my clit and I gasped loudly as he lightly pressed it, running his fingertip around it and over it. I opened my eyes during this small bout of ecstasy to find him smirking at me, clearly enjoying himself. I pretended to glare and moved my hand to his erection again; that wiped the smirk off his face. He groaned again and the sound excited me in such a way that I needed to hear him make that noise again. I continued playing with him, and him with me, and soon we were kissing again. I could feel the wetness building between my thighs, as could he, and he pulled his lips away from mine as he slipped a finger inside me. I gasped and my body tightened at the intrusion, trying to get used to the feeling of him pressed against my walls. _This is only his finger…_  
“Vana?” Kíli whispered through gasping breaths. “Are you alright? Is this alright?”  
“Yes…” I breathed, nodding for him to continue. He moved his finger further in, before pulling it almost completely out and moving it in again. I moaned loudly, moving my hips slightly against his movements, testing it out. The pressure he was mounting against my inner walls was amazing and I could feel my insides start to coil.  
“Vana?”  
“Yes?” I could barely get the word out as Kíli curved his finger slightly inside me.  
“I…” He trailed off, his movements stilling and I opened my eyes to find him gazing at me with concern.  
“What is it?” I frowned.  
“I just…” His voice was barely audible as he fought for his words; a rare event for Kíli . “You feel so tight, I don’t want to hurt you…”  
“Kíli…” I placed a hand to his face. “It doesn’t hurt, I promise.”  
“It doesn’t now, I’m only using a finger. What happens when…?” He trailed off, his face flushing bright red.  
“Kíli, do you want to do this?” I asked, trying to disguise my nervousness.  
“Of course,” he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “Of course I do, my love. I just want it to be good for you too. I’m worried it might not work between us because…”  
“Because you’re a dwarf and I’m a human?”  
“Well, yes…” He stroked his other hand through my hair. “I just want you to be safe.”  
I took his hand in mine and kissed it, first his palm and then every one of his fingers individually, before looking back to him.  
“You won’t hurt me Kíli,” I promised him. “You might just need to…prepare me first?” I winked and then gasped as I felt his finger curl inside me.  
“Like this, you mean?” He smirked and I nodded with a groan as he moved his finger around my walls.  
“More,” I whispered before capturing his lips in a kiss. Kíli smiled into the kiss and before long I felt a second finger push into me. The pressure increased and I bucked my hips up into his hand. He increased his pace, rubbing his finger against my walls as I moaned. I could feel my body squeezing around his fingers, coiling tighter as he mounted the pressure and ignited my pleasure sensors. My body was moving almost involuntarily against his hand, meeting his movements clumsily.  
“Kíli…” I breathed, pulling my face from his. “I want you,” I whispered, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes. He met my gaze and held it as he withdrew his hand from me and positioned himself above me, careful to avoid my bruised ribs, nestling between my legs.  
“Are you sure?” He asked one last time and I nodded, smiling up at him. He smiled back and kissed me, one hand guiding himself into me. Even though I knew it was coming, and even though I so desperately wanted it, the feeling of him pushing inside me still made me gasp in surprise. It wasn’t painful as such, just…strange. He stilled immediately, letting me get used to him. When I started to relax, he pushed a little further in.  
“Mahal, Vana…” he mumbled in my ear. “You’re so…tight.” He paused again as I tensed. The pressure inside me was excruciating, and I could stand it no longer. I moved my hands over his backside and pulled him all the way into me, filling me up completely. He let out a surprised gasp and I cried out at the sudden stinging sensation erupting out of my body. We lay there for a few moments, breathing heavily against each other and I could feel my body shaking uncontrollably.  
“Vana?”  
“Mmm,” I mumbled, eyes closed as I tried to calm myself down.  
“Are you alright? Do you want to stop?”  
I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me; his expression was all worry but his eyes were sparkling in exhilaration, tiny stars in a deep brown sky. I stared up at him and slowly shook my head, moving my hand to the small of his back and wrapping my legs around his as I raised my hips slightly. He closed his eyes and groaned as the angle changed. I moved my hips back and raised them again and soon he was matching my movements. Slowly and clumsily we found a mutual rhythm and continued it until we were both completely undone.The coil in the pit of my stomach tightened and tightened and I began to lose control completely, pulling Kíli hard against me and raising myself up to press my face into his neck, kissing and sucking at the skin joining his neck to his shoulder. His breath came in short, quick grunts as he started to quicken his pace and before long the coil sprang free and I clutched at him desperately as my pleasure boiled over in a loud cry. A few more thrusts later he released a long, satisfied groan and I felt his entire body shudder against me. We collapsed onto the bed, Kíli shifting his weight beside me, and spent the next few minutes trying to catch our breath.  
“Kíli?” I turned to him, unable to contain a smile at his face, utterly spent from love-making. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open in a small ‘oh’ as he breathed hard. His dark hair fanned out over the pillow behind him, an utter mess of tangles by this point.  
“Yes, my love?” He gasped, his gorgeous eyes fluttering open. They were still filled with stars.  
“I love you.”  
He grinned and raised himself up on one elbow and stroking my face with his free hand. He leaned down to press his forehead against mine.  
“And I love you, Azyungal.”  
I felt my heart beat faster in my chest at this word again.  
“What does that word mean?”  
“Destined lover,” Kíli whispered against my lips before kissing me again. Behind him the stars shone brightly in the sky, illuminating this perfect night in the most beautiful way.

 

_ Kíli  _

Kíli kissed his lover until he had to pull away to breathe. _His lover_. He could get used to those words. He smiled down at her face, flushed and exhausted and stroked his finger lightly down her cheek, feeling the heat off her skin like a soft flame.  
“You’re so beautiful like this,” he whispered, smiling as her face flushed even more. “I need to get you like this more often.” He winked and she giggled.  
“Give me a minute, _Prince_!” She scolded and rolled on her side to face him. “Remember I’m still an invalid!”  
Kíli propped himself up on an elbow, gazing down at her with no hint of a smile on his face.  
“Are you sure you’re alright?” His gaze travelled briefly to her bandaged shoulder.  
“Yes,” she insisted. “My shoulder’s stiff mostly, and my ribs don’t hurt. I’m a little sore elsewhere, but not in a bad way.”  
“What do you mean _not in a bad way_?” Kíli felt horrified. “Did I hurt you?”  
“No!” she shook her head forcefully. “No Kíli -”  
“We never should have -”  
“Kíli!” Her hand clasped his face firmly, making her look at him. Her eyes were glittering but she was fighting to keep her face stern. “Don’t do this! Please, don’t ruin it. I loved tonight, I don’t regret it. You didn’t hurt me, in fact you did quite the opposite. And as soon as we get our breath back, I want you to make love to me again.” Her mouth turned up in a small smirk.  
Kíli’s breath caught in his throat, already feeling himself hardening a little at her words.  
“Are you sure?” he breathed. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin tonight. I just -"  
“You love me,” she smiled, making his heart stutter in his chest. “I know. I love you too.”  
Kíli grinned and lay next to her, gathering her in his arms and holding her close. He buried his face in the top of her head, breathing in the flowery scent of her hair. She curled her hands against his chest and he swore he felt her smile against him as she found his racing heartbeat.  
“I dreamed of this night so many times,” Kíli said softly, his eyes closed as he breathed her in. “I imagined what it would be like to hold you and kiss you and sleep with you in my arms all night. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up and find this is just one of those dreams.”  
Vana wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him closer, and he suppressed a shiver as their bodies pressed against each other.  
“Kíli, as much as I would love to sleep in your arms like this, you’ll have to go back soon.”  
Kíli pulled back, looking down at her with confusion.  
“I thought you wanted me to stay tonight?”  
“I do, but the others will be wondering where you are,” she raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want Dwalin or Thorin finding us like this? You know what they’d think.”  
“It’s none of their business. You and I, we love each other. This is between us. They don’t get a say.”  
“Kíli, we’re not married. If we were back in the Blue Mountains we’d be breaking the law right now. Besides, Thorin doesn’t need another reason to leave me behind.”  
He felt his heart break as her face fell. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against hers, burying his hand in her hair to hold her face to his. He tried to pour as much hope into the kiss as possible and sure enough, when he pulled away to press his forehead against hers, her mouth had pulled up in a small smile.  
“You are not being left behind. I won’t allow it. I’ll convince Thorin somehow, threaten to stay with you if he doesn’t let you come.”  
“You can’t do that,” she shook her head sadly. “You’d never leave Fíli. He needs you with him. Thorin needs you too.”  
“And I need you.” Kíli stated firmly. “If you stay, I stay.”  
Vana sighed and kissed him once more.  
“We’ll see what the morning brings.”  
“Everything will look better in the morning,” Kíli quoted his mother with a grin and Vana chuckled at him.  
“I hope so, but until then I can think of something much better to do than talk.” As she spoke her leg slowly crept over his hip to wrap around him and her lips found his neck as she pushed him onto his back. Kíli let out a groan as she kissed down his neck, grinding her lower body, still wet from earlier, onto his growing erection. Only when he was moaning beneath her, feverishly kissing her, kneading her soft, warm breasts, wordlessly begging for more; only then did she sit up and raise her hips so he could guide himself into her. The first time he had slid into her his eyes had closed, savouring the heat and the constriction and the sheer, overwhelming joy if it all. Now, however, he could not have closed his eyes if his life depended on it. The sight of her on top of him, her back arched, head thrown back, mouth slightly open, moaning audibly as she slowly made love to him was the most beautiful, mesmerising sight he could possibly behold. His hands slid up to her hips and he held her tight as his thrusts began to meet hers halfway and he couldn’t stop looking at her until his release finally found him and he came with a staggered groan.

A little while later, Kíli kissed his sleeping lover on the forehead before slowly easing himself out of bed and pulling his clothes on as quietly as he could. He went to the door and took a final glance back at Vana, who had shuffled closer to Kíli’s side of the bed and was wrapping her arms around his pillow. He smiled as she nuzzled the pillow before slipping into a deep slumber and had to suppress the urge to retrace his steps and wrap his arms around her again. With a final glance at her sleeping form, he eased the door open and closed it silently behind him. He made his way back to the company, who were all snoring loudly by now in their room, and tiptoed over to where his brother had set up his bedroll next to his. He slipped his boots off and tucked himself under his cloak, unable to keep the grin off his face as he closed his eyes and dreamed of soft, copper hair, green eyes sparkling in the starlight and a voice softly crying out his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili is just an adorable worrywart.  
> Worry-wart-Kili.


	13. The Stubbornness of Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.   
> Dammit, big-bro-Fili...

_ Fíli _

Fíli awoke as the early morning sun blazed through the open room. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, noticing that Thorin was gone from his sofa. He stretched his arms out to support himself and sit up, only for them to brush against something soft. He looked around to find his hand splayed on his brother’s hair, cast over on the pillow as he slept. Fíli suddenly remembered, with a smirk, that Kíli had not come back last night, at least not while Fíli had been awake.   
_I suppose he and Vana made up then._ With a quiet laugh he gently shook his brother awake.   
“Fee…” Kíli mumbled, scowling childishly as he brushed his brother’s hand off his shoulder. “Five more minutes.”   
“Why so tired, little brother?” Fíli whispered, glancing around to make sure none of the others were awake. “Late night last night?”  
At this Kíli’s eyes snapped open and he caught his brother’s smirk.   
“Shut up, Fee,” he began to turn away but Fíli could not mistake his little brother’s wide grin and he pulled him back round to face him.   
“Kee?” Fíli asked, slightly shocked at the confirmation. He had only been joking. Kíli only nodded, his grin widening even more. “Kíli!” Fíli whipped around as he heard Bombur snort in his sleep and saw some of the others beginning to stir – _including Dwalin!_ He yanked his brother up by his arm and dragged him out onto the balcony.   
“What happened?” he demanded, turning Kíli to face him. Kíli’s face was still stretched in his ridiculous grin.   
“I went to talk to her,” he began to explain quietly. “We argued at first but then I kissed her and -” his hands suddenly gripped Fíli’s upper arms. “- I did what you said. I told her everything and then she asked me to stay with her.” Kíli released his brother, who was gaping at him, and ran his hands through his hair at the memories flooding his mind of the night he’d spent with Vana.   
“Fíli, it was amazing. It was so beautiful, so much better than I ever imagined. It was as if we were both lost, you know, and neither of us had any idea what to do, so we both just discovered the answer together, just the two of us, and nobody else mattered, nothing else mattered. It was just the two of us together. Brother, I…” Kíli’s eyes were shining as he gazed around him, as if he’d only seen the sun for the first time. “I’ve never been so happy. And I know she felt the same way. I know she _feels_ the same way, Fee.”  
“Kíli I…” Fíli stared at his brother in wonder. It was true that he had never seen Kíli so excited by anything, nor so happy in the seventy-seven years he had known him. However, he couldn’t shake this nagging problem and he knew Kíli would hate him for ruining this moment.   
“Kíli , I’m happy for you,” Fíli began. “I really am. This is exactly what the two of you deserve. But what happens when we have to leave here?”  
At this, Kíli’s face fell slightly. “We already talked about that. I won’t leave without her, Fíli. If Thorin tries to make me I will refuse to continue. I can’t leave her here, not when I’ve only just got her back.”  
“I understand that,” Fíli nodded. “But are you willing to let Thorin continue this quest alone? To face a dragon and Mahal knows what else? Are you willing to let me go without you?”  
His words made Kíli look as if he was about to burst into tears, and he couldn’t lie and say he didn’t feel the same.   
“You don’t have to go, you could support me? If you were on my side Thorin would be more likely to listen. If you said you wouldn’t leave unless Vana could come too then –“  
“That’s also a point Kíli. What if Vana can’t come? What if her injury means she physically can’t keep up with us? Can’t fight? Would you really want to drag her halfway across Middle Earth if she can’t defend herself?”   
“Of course she can defend herself!” Kíli hissed. “You’ve seen her fight. She’s fast, she’s strong and she’s resilient. She just needs a few more days to rest. Only yesterday she was attacked by a warg and yet last night, hours later, she was good as new.”   
“And what of last night?” Fíli asked, feeling his face flush a little at what he was going to have to ask his brother.   
“What of it?” Kíli frowned.   
“Did you really…?” Fíli raised his eyebrows, silently willing his brother to read his mind. He succeeded.   
“What does that have to do with anything?” Kíli demanded, his face turning alarmingly red in the light of the rising sun.   
“What if she’s pregnant?” Fíli’s hushed question made Kíli freeze. “What happens if Thorin allows her to come and then discovers she is carrying your child? A pregnant woman in the wild, Kíli? Against the dragon and whatever else awaits us out there?” He watched his brother’s face turn pale.   
“I didn’t even…” he muttered, sinking down onto one of the benches. “It…it was our first time. Her first time. Can that happen if it’s her first time?”   
Fíli sat next to his brother, grimacing at the question he felt he had to ask. “Are you sure it was her first time?”   
As predicted, Kíli glared at him. “I’m completely sure.” It was his turn to raise his eyebrows at his brother, who felt his face grow very warm as he flushed and nodded.   
“Alright. Well I don’t know. Maybe not. But it’s a big risk to take. Particularly since you’re not married and won’t be for some time. Thorin won’t be happy about that fact alone.”  
“You’re not going to tell him, are you?” Kíli whispered, his eyes growing wide.   
“Of course not. But you should. If she is pregnant, then you need to make sure Thorin doesn’t find out a few months from now when she starts to show.”   
“Why must you ruin this?” Kíli suddenly snarled, leaping up from the bench. “Last night was the best night of my life and I was so happy this morning. I only wanted to share that with you. Why are you saying all this?”   
“I’m trying to make you think, Kíli!” Fíli stood up, peering in to see the company starting to wake up, though no one had noticed them yet. “For once, I’m trying to make you use your head instead of just charging in and doing whatever feels right at the time.”   
“Is _that_ what you think I was doing?” Kíli asked in revulsion. “Just going with my instincts? Like a dog in heat?”  
“Of course not!” Fíli rolled his eyes. “Don’t twist my words – Kíli!”  
Kíli was already storming through the room, past the company and out of the door, blatantly ignoring Fíli’s shouts.

_ Vana _

I woke up in a tangled mess of sheets and hair. Pushing my now wild locks out of my face, I smiled at the slight ache of my lower body.  
_I didn’t dream it then,_ I thought to myself and sat up. The early morning sun was streaming in through the balcony doors and I wrapped one of the soft yellow blankets from the bed around me as I stood up. My ribs protested slightly at the movement but it was bearable and I went to open the doors. The balcony provided an excellent view of the valley and the eastern sun illuminated the western shores of the river in a soft golden-green. I settled myself on a bench, my eyes following the rivers south and wondering what lay ahead beyond the horizon.   
I remained this way for many minutes, enjoying the sun’s heat on my face and the comfort of knowing I didn’t have to ride or run or fight today – until a loud knock sounded at the door. With a soft groan I forced myself to get up and go to the door, pausing as I remembered I was only wearing a blanket.   
“Who is it?” I called out.   
“Dwalin, lass.”   
_Oh Durin and Mahal, he knows…  
_ “Just a minute!” I called, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I grabbed my shirt and underclothes off the floor and pulled them on quickly before rifling through my pack for the trousers and pulling those on too. I checked my hair in the mirror and groaned at the sight. It was tangled and wildly sticking out all over the place. With a desperate glance on the table in front of the mirror, I spotted what appeared to be a blue ribbon and quickly scraped my hair back into a ponytail; this made it seem marginally less obvious that I had clearly had an eventful night.  
With a deep breath I pulled the door open to find Dwalin waiting patiently, arms crossed in front of him. His broke into a warm smile as he saw me.   
“Mornin’,” he said. “How’re yeh feelin’?”   
“Fine,” I attempted to shrug and winced slightly as my shoulder ached. “A little stiff perhaps.”  
“Yer not in any pain at all?”  
“No,” I lied. “I just need some breakfast.”   
“Aye, we’re about to go down if yeh want to join us,” Dwalin nodded and then his expression grew serious. “Listen lass, Thorin wants to see yeh after breakfast.”  
“Why?” I asked, trying and failing to keep the panic out of my voice.   
“He wants yeh to spar. Nothin’ too harsh, just to assess yer progress. He’ll speak to the Elf-lord later about how long yeh’ll need to recover properly.”  
“That’s it?” I asked before I could stop myself. Dwalin gave me a confused look before nodding.   
“Oh…alright, well that’s…that’s fine. I just need to wash and I’ll be right down,” I attempted a nonchalant smile that couldn’t have fooled a troll and Dwalin nodded and left. I closed the door and buried my face in my hands.   
_They don’t know. You just need to show Thorin that you can fight and you’ll be fine._   
I eyed my bow on the top of the chest and picked it up in my left hand. Slowly, I attempted to raise it as if to fire but I barely made it halfway before my shoulder protested furiously. I groaned and replaced it before picking up Ringil. I drew the sword from its shield, still unused to how light it was. I grasped it in both hands and swung it slowly to both sides. I managed to do this just fine so I tried to swing it over my right shoulder. I just about managed it, though not as far back as usual. My left shoulder had no chance. I also worried about blocking. Usually it was my left side that took the brunt of blocking, allowing my right side to deliver the killing blow. I replaced Ringil in its sheath and went to wash up before facing Thorin.

I left my room with Ringil in one hand and went in search of the others. Breakfast had been served in the same place as dinner. There was no meat of course, but I did notice a large pot of what appeared to be porridge and went to help myself to a bowl, greeting the members of the company on the way. I placed Ringil against the side of the table as I took a seat next to Kíli and he smiled warmly at me.   
“Good morning,” he said as he passed me a goblet of water.  I raised an eyebrow at the distinctly teasing tone of his voice.   
“Morning,” I acknowledged and accepted the water.   
“Sleep well?”   
“Yes, thank you,” I said through gritted teeth, rolling my eyes at his smirk. “Stop it.”   
“Stop what?” He winked at me and I wanted to hit him.   
“Stop... _this_!” I hissed and gestured to his stupid, beautiful face. He chuckled and helped himself to bread, catching Fíli’s eye across the table. I noticed Kíli’s smile turn into a scowl but before I could ask anything, Thorin’s voice sounded from across the room.   
“Vana? May I have a word?”  
I swallowed and nodded, suddenly very tense. I shot a questioning glance at Kíli who shook his head slightly to indicate he hadn’t said anything to Thorin about last night. I let out a relieved sigh as I made my way over to Thorin.   
“Dwalin said you wanted me to spar?”   
“Yes, I do. I simply want to see if you can still use your arm.”   
I frowned as I recalled my failed attempts earlier. “Thorin you know that it’s only been a day. My shoulder is still stiff but I’m certain it will only be a few days before it’s working properly again.”   
“Vana,” Thorin placed a comforting hand on my uninjured shoulder and I was surprised to see a warm smile on his face. “I’m not trying to catch you out. I simply want to assess how long you need to recover. I don’t want to spend any more time here than necessary. I spoke to Lord Elrond earlier this morning and he told me he sees no reason why you shouldn’t be fully recovered within the next few days. He also said you should exercise your shoulder to keep the muscles working, hence the sparring.”  
I stared at him, unable to close my mouth. “You…you’re not leaving me here?”   
Thorin let out a short laugh. “Of course not. I need you to keep my nephews in line.”   
“And to distract any beasts that want to eat them?” I raised an eyebrow, returning his smile now.   
“That too.” Thorin winked at me before heading to the table to get his breakfast. I followed and resumed my seat next to Kíli.   
“We’ll meet back here after breakfast to head to the sparring grounds,” Thorin addressed us all. “Master Baggins, that means you too. You should learn how to use that sword of yours.”   
Bilbo’s eyes widened in fear; Thorin may as well have asked him to face an entire orc pack by himself.

_ Kíli  _

In the end, the sparring had gone very well. He had practiced with Bifur, Bofur and Glóin while Balin took Bilbo aside to teach him the basics. During his breaks he had watched Vana with his uncle. She had made it through the basic manoeuvres easily enough, though he could tell she was underplaying how much pain she was in whenever she tried to raise her sword above her head. She had almost doubled over when she tried to block Thorin’s hit with her left side; it seemed she was so worried about appearing weak in front of Thorin that she was weakening herself trying not to appear so. He could understand why, he too often feared that Thorin would see him only as his youngest nephew and had spent much of his youth fighting to impress his uncle. Thorin seemed pleased with Vana’s progress and she relaxed markedly. When Thorin told her she had done enough for one day she only nodded and sat down on one of the benches at the edge of the sparring grounds, breathing heavily and covered in a light sheen of sweat. She caught his concerned eye and smiled warmly and for a moment Kíli thought back to a very similar image from the night before and couldn’t resist smirking to himself at the memory.   
“Kíli!” He was snapped out of his reverie by his uncle’s sharp call. “Did you even hear me?”   
“Uh…” Kíli blushed furiously, convinced for a split second that Thorin had read his thoughts. “No, sorry Uncle.”   
“I said you’ll spar with me now. Come on, get up!” Thorin beckoned him over, shaking his head fondly at his daydreaming nephew.

A couple of hours later, Thorin called for everyone to take a break. The day was growing hotter as the midday sun approached and everyone was out of breath and sweating profusely.   
“How is the halfling?” he heard Thorin ask Balin behind him as he sheathed his sword and removed his shirt to try and cool himself off.   
“He is…not too bad, for a complete beginner.” Balin said; ever the diplomat.   
“How much can you teach him in the next few days?”   
“Enough that he can rely on his sword as a last resort, most likely.”   
Thorin sighed in exasperation. “Why did I listen to that wizard?”   
Out of the corner of his eye, Kíli spotted Bilbo walking past them back towards the house. As he entered Kíli’s line of vision, he could see the hobbit looking slightly crestfallen, his sword held loosely in his hands. He felt a pang of sympathy for the poor burglar; Thorin wasn’t exactly subtle in his disdain for anything he regarded as a burden or a distraction. This train of thought reminded him of what he and Dwalin had talked about yesterday:   
_“She was afraid that Thorin would disapprove of yer relationship. She feared she wasn’t worthy of yer courtship.”  
“She didn’t want him to think of her as a distraction.”  
“She feared he might send her home.”  
_ The he remembered Fíli’s words this morning. He had purposely ignored Fíli all morning because of them.   
_“What if she’s pregnant? What happens if Thorin allows her to come and then discovers she is carrying your child?”  
“Particularly since you’re not married and won’t be for some time. Thorin won’t be happy about that fact alone.”  
_ As much as Kíli hated to admit it, Fíli was right. He usually was; it was a trait he’d inherited from their mother. Kíli also remembered his own response and cringed at how childish it had sounded. He would have to apologise to his brother, but unfortunately he had inherited his mother’s stubbornness, which was known to rival Thorin’s. He also knew he would have to speak to Thorin.   
First of all, he had to talk to Vana. He couldn’t talk to Thorin without her approval, neither could he stop worrying about the possibility of her being… _pregnant._ The word reverberated around his mind for a moment, and he pictured her tiny belly swollen with his child. He couldn’t deny that the image was alluring, and the thought of a child running around that was a part of him and a part of her – well that was just glorious. He would have her eyes, he decided, and perhaps his hair. He made the child a son because, firstly, female dwarf children were rare and, secondly, because he would have absolutely no idea what to do with a little girl. He had never really been around them. He had seen them, of course, and he knew dwarves that had small daughters, but he had never spent any time with them.   
_What are you doing?!_ He thought to himself. _You’ve had_ one _night together and now you’re thinking about children?_   
Before he could torment himself any further, Bofur’s loud announcement caught his attention:  
“Lads, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am sweating off every meal we’ve had in the last week and there’s a lovely fountain over there that is just begging to be used…” He nodded over to a large, ornate fountain, comprising of three levels of shallow, crystal clear water, constantly being filled by large spouts erupting from the delicately carved stone on the top tier. Kíli grinned widely at the suggestion, as did many of the other dwarves; could they possibly push the Elves’ patience any more than they already had? At Thorin’s nod of approval, they made their way to the fountain, removing their clothes as they went.   
Before Kíli could start stripping however, he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see his older brother.   
“Kíli, I -” he began to say but Kíli cut him off.   
“Fee I’m sorry about this morning. You were just trying to help and I was being stupid. I heard what you said alright? And I’m going to take care of it.”   
Fíli nodded, clearly relieved. “You’ll talk to Thorin?” he asked softly.   
“I’m going to talk to Vana first, then, hopefully, we’ll both talk to Thorin.”   
Before Fíli could respond they were suddenly splattered with water from an impatient Nori.   
“Come on you two!” he called cheekily. “Before Dori pollutes the entire fountain!”   
“I heard that!” his older brother shouted, shoving Nori down into the water with a snigger.   
Fíli and Kíli exchanged a mischievous smirk before joining the company in the fountain.


	14. Elementary Sex Ed for Dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, I get so carried away sometimes...  
> Only two more Rivendell chapters to go after this, and more stuff happens, I promise.

_ Vana _

I changed back into my trousers once I had washed the sweat from sparring off and fished out a clean white shirt from one of the drawers in my room. It was far too big of course, but the light material kept me cool in the hot afternoon sun. I went out onto the balcony and took in the sight of Rivendell, determined that I would never grow tired of its beauty. I took in every detail of the buildings, from the intricate carvings in the sides of the walls and pillars to the flowing stonework of the walkways. It was on one of these walkways that I spotted Bilbo walking down, similarly taking in everything Rivendell had to offer his senses. He gazed around him with a wide smile plastered all over his face, like a bear cub that’s just ventured outside his den. I decided to join him – after all, the dwarves were hardly going to be interested in exploring an Elvish house.   
I left the room, leaving my shoes behind again and went down to find Bilbo. Eventually, I found him standing at one of the balconies lower down, and not alone. Next to him, Elrond towered over him in his golden robes, and though his face was kind, I could see in Bilbo’s face that he was still a little intimidated.  
“Not with your companions?” Elrond asked him. Bilbo shook his head with a small smile.    
“I shan’t be missed. The truth is most of them don’t think I should be on this journey.”   
His words saddened me; the dwarves were naturally secretive and not the most welcoming to strangers, but Bilbo had tried his best to become a part of the group.  
“Indeed? I’ve heard that hobbits are very resilient.” Elrond raised a thin eyebrow. I smiled to myself. _Resilient, quick-thinking, light-footed._  
“Really?” Bilbo asked with a small frown.   
After a short pause Elrond added: “I’ve also heard they’re fond of the comforts of home.”  
“I’ve heard that it’s unwise to seek the counsel of Elves for they will answer both yes and no.” Bilbo responded and I choked back a snort. Elrond looked less than impressed and for a moment Bilbo’s eyes widened in panic. Elrond then relaxed his face into a small smile and placed a gentle hand on Bilbo’s shoulder.   
“You are very welcome to stay here if that is your wish.” He said kindly before turning and walking away. He passed me as he came into the corridor and gave me a questioning look.   
“Eavesdroppers never heard any good of themselves, my Lady.”   
“I wasn’t eavesdropping!” I said innocently. “I was just looking for Bilbo.”   
Elrond gave a nod, his face as impassive as ever. “How is your shoulder today?”   
“It’s fine,” I answered quickly, but an incredulous look from Elrond made me rethink. “I mean it’s a little stiff, but that’ll go away won’t it?”   
“Yes, in time. You must not strain it, but you must exercise it regularly as well.”   
I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow, thinking of Bilbo’s words. “Not too much, but not too little.” I nodded.   
“Yes and no,” Elrond agreed, as if reading my thoughts. “My offer applies to you as well. If you should wish to stay, you are most welcome to, for as long as you like.”  
With that, he turned and departed as rapidly and fluidly as is the way of Elves. I blinked a little at his offer, before turning to see Bilbo still standing at the balcony. I couldn’t help but feel guilty at the forlorn look on his face.   
“Do you really feel unwanted?” I asked, making him jump as he spun to face me.   
“Vana!” he breathed, placing a hand over his chest. “You scared me.”   
“Sorry,” I smiled and went to stand next to him. “You didn’t answer my question though.” At this, Bilbo looked at his feet.   
“Well, Thorin’s made it clear from the moment he saw me that he doesn’t think I belong with all of you. Half the Company bet I wouldn’t join you. And then this morning, well, I hardly impressed anyone with my ‘letter-opener.’”   
“I wasn’t exactly at my best either,” I pointed out. “And it was your first sparring. Of course it was rubbish.”   
“Thank you,” Bilbo raised his eyebrows with a mock smile.   
“You think that’s bad? You know what I did during my first sparring with Dwalin?”   
“You were worse than me I suppose?”   
“I hit myself in the face with the hilt of my sword. Twice.”   
Bilbo burst out laughing and I blushed furiously at the memory.   
“You didn’t, really?” Bilbo asked, between gulps of laughter.   
“I did, and that -” I pointed at his highly amused expression – “is exactly how Fíli and Kíli reacted. And Dwalin actually. I gave myself a pretty impressive black eye.”   
“Well,” Bilbo wiped a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye. “At least you weren’t going on a highly important quest at the time.”   
“Bilbo, no offence, but Thorin didn’t hire you for your sword-fighting skills. You’re hired as a burglar.”   
“Yes, a burglar who’s never stolen a thing in his life,” Bilbo pointed out.   
“A burglar recommended by Gandalf the Grey,” I emphasised. “Do you really think Gandalf would even have mentioned this quest to you if he didn’t think you could do it?”   
Bilbo didn’t answer, instead just looked back out over Rivendell. After a few moments I reached out to touch his shoulder.   
“If it’s any consolation, I want you with us.” I smiled as he turned to face me, a look of surprise on his face. “So do Fíli and Kíli. And Ori as well, he’d love to learn more about hobbits. Bofur wants you to stay. And no matter what Thorin says, I know he trusts Gandalf. He’ll change his mind about you soon enough.”   
“You really think so?” Bilbo asked quietly.   
“He did with me,” I offered with a smile. “Look, it’s up to you. The contract isn’t binding you to us to the end of the quest, it’s only really securing your payment. Thorin would never force anyone into something like this. You’re welcome to leave at any time, but I really hope you don’t. I’ve enjoyed your company.” I decided to leave it at that. Bilbo clearly had a lot of thinking to do. As I turned to leave, however, Bilbo’s hand rested on my arm.   
“Thank you, Vana,” he smiled back. “I’ve enjoyed your company too.”   
I smiled more widely before leaving him to his thoughts. I returned to my room to find my discarded shirt on the floor and decided not to bother the elves with more washing.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli was feeling much cleaner than before as he walked down the corridor towards Vana’s room. He had changed into some clean clothes beforehand and was still feeling exhilarated from the fountain antics. He sniggered to himself at the thought of Elrond and Lindir’s faces, having spotted them in their fountain. _What would Âmad have thought of us all?_ he thought to himself as he paused outside Vana’s room.  
He knocked three times and called out to Vana, identifying himself. He was immediately invited in and he opened the door to find the room empty.   
“Vana?”   
“I’m out here Kíli ,” came a response from the balcony and he found her kneeling by a large basin filled with soapy water. She had changed into a plain white, elf-size shirt and was scrubbing her shirt from this morning in the basin. Her trousers were laid out over the balcony to dry in the sun and he noticed that her legs were bare.   
“This is the second time I’ve found you like this,” he remarked as he took a seat next to her, brushing his fingers lightly over her lower legs.   
“Are you complaining?” she raised an eyebrow, giggling as his fingers tickled her pale skin.   
“Not at all,” he said softly as he gently lifted her leg onto his lap, running his hand over it and thinking back to how they had felt wrapped around his waist.   
“How was sparring?” She asked, soaking her shirt in the water.   
“It was fine. How about you? Did you convince Thorin?”    
“He said he was pleasantly surprised, and at breakfast he said he didn’t want to leave without me.” She beamed as she said this and Kíli returned her smile.   
“I knew he would.”   
“Of course you did,” Vana stuck her tongue out at him.   
“Actually, it’s better that he’s in a good mood because I think we need to talk to him,” Kíli ventured. As he expected, Vana’s smile vanished as she looked at him questioningly, waiting for him to say he was joking.   
“I spoke to Fíli this morning. He…well he knows about last night,” he paused. Vana let out a sigh and nodded.   
“I expected you’d tell him.”  
“Well, he actually sort of…guessed…” Kíli blushed, shaking his head as Vana frowned. “It doesn’t matter, but the point is he said some things that I didn’t want to hear at the time but that actually make sense.”  
“Such as?”   
“Well, he said that we should tell Thorin.”   
“What?” She dropped the brush she was using to scrub her shirt in the basin, splashing them both with tepid, soapy water. “That’s exactly what we _shouldn’t_ do!”   
“Wait, just listen,” Kíli held up a hand to stop her protests. “He said that it might be better to get it over with now, rather than wait until we’re stranded in the wild a few months from now and you’re…showing…” He trailed off, feeling himself blushing at the words now.   
“And I’m what?” Vana frowned.   
“You know… _pregnant,_ he whispered. Vana’s eyes widened for a moment and then, to Kíli’s utter shock, she burst out laughing.   
“Mahal, Kíli, you poor dwarrow!” she exclaimed, practically keeling over in fits of laughter.   
“Why are you laughing?” Kíli frowned, utterly confused now.   
“Kíli, I’m not pregnant you idiot!” she sputtered.   
“What? How do you know?”   
“Trust me I know,” she coughed, trying to control her outbursts of laughter. “Do you think I would have allowed last night to happen if I thought I could get pregnant?”   
“I…” Kíli faltered. He hadn’t considered that. “But how can you be sure you won’t be?”   
She sighed. “If I tell you, you must promise not to laugh or be disgusted or even react in any way.”  
“Alright…” Kíli frowned. Vana sighed again before speaking in a low voice.   
“There’s a herb, a sort of tea leaf. It…well it stops women from bleeding. I’d heard of women in the caravans and in the villages by the Blue Mountains using it. They brew it every day and drink it, and it stops them from bleeding. They tend to drink it every day for three weeks and then on the fourth week they stop drinking it and that’s when they bleed. Others use it for longer. It’s a way to control their monthly cycles. Most of them are married women who already have children and don’t want any more, some are unmarried women who don’t want to conceive and others have found that it helps them with the pains.”   
She raised her eyebrows.   
“Did…did you anticipate what happened last night?” Kíli asked, deeply confused now.   
“No, of course not!” Vana rolled her eyes. “I bought it because I knew I was going to be on the road for a long time and I didn’t want to be dealing with bleeding all over my clothes every month. Once we had reclaimed the mountain I would have stopped drinking the stuff. It tastes vile anyway.”  
“Where did you even get it?”   
“The women on the caravan we travelled with told me of an apothecary that passes through the Blue Mountains every spring. I managed to catch her on her final day there and bought her remaining stocks. I’ve probably got enough to last me about six months.”   
“I…I see,” Kíli nodded, trying to keep his face blank. In truth, he felt embarrassed for Vana that she had to go and buy it in the first place.   
“Now I really don’t fancy telling Thorin about this,” Vana blushed. “The herb has a bad reputation and I know how old-fashioned he is about these things.”   
“Yes, well, if you’re sure there’s no chance?”   
“I’m sure,” she grinned. “It also means we don’t have to worry every time we make love.” She winked and he chuckled at her, letting his hand slip a little further up her leg.   
“That is true,” he admitted. “How are you feeling after last night though? Honestly?”   
“Honestly?” She smirked and stood up, reaching into the basin for her shirt. She wrung it out and walked over to the balcony and laid it out to dry by her trousers. She leant forward slightly as she did so, her shirt creeping up her thighs and Kíli felt his body respond immediately to the sight and shifted uncomfortably.   
“Honestly,” she turned to face him, wiping her hands dry on her shirt. “Last night was the best night I’ve ever experienced. I’m definitely adding it to my list. And as for how I feel, well, I have to say I feel curious.”   
“Curious?”   
“Yes, well,” she walked slowly towards him, deliberately accentuating the movement of her legs. “We’ve only had one night together. There’s still so much to explore, and we have this beautiful bed in a beautiful place to do it in. Who knows how long we’ll have that luxury for? I don’t think we should waste it, do you?” She paused in front of him and held out her hand. He took it with a grin and stood up, his trousers uncomfortably tight now.   
“Have I ever told you how incredibly insightful and wise you are?”   
“Not as much as you should, but I don’t think this is the time to focus on my wisdom,” she whispered as she moved as close to him as she could without actually touching him. She lingered for a moment, letting him feel her warm breath on his face before she glided past him, pulling him into the room.

_ Vana _

Kíli’s kisses were hot against my skin, his freshly washed hair smooth underneath my fingers as his body rocked against mine. There was a new confidence to our movements and I gasped as he shifted underneath me, changing the angle. He groaned as my body clenched around him and within seconds we had both found our release. I buried my face in his shoulder to muffle my cries and he tightened his hold around me with trembling arms.    
After many long minutes of holding each other with deep, shaky breaths, Kíli finally lay back down, pulling me with him so we were lying on our sides. He kept an arm around my shoulders, his hand buried in my hair while the other wrapped around my waist. Our legs tangled together and I rested my head against his chest, breathing in his scent.   
“I literally just took a bath,” Kíli chuckled into my hair. “You wicked creature.”   
“You can have another,” I shrugged, leaning back to look at him. His cheeky smile was back – the one I loved the most. I returned it and nodded over my shoulder to the washroom behind me. “There’s a bath in there, we could have one together?”  
“Surely that would defeat the purpose?” Kíli winked.   
“Well if you don’t want to…” I feigned disappointment but Kíli was already disentangling himself and pulling me from the bed. I filled the bath with hot water and stepped into it, leaning forward so Kíli could settle in behind me. I leaned back against his chest and smiled as he nuzzled my neck and my hair.   
“I still think we should tell my uncle,” he whispered.   
“Kíli -” I began to protest but he cut me off.   
“No, please. Let me explain.” He gently placed his hand against my cheek and turned me to face him. “I almost lost you yesterday. I don’t want to waste our time together keeping secrets. I don’t want to hide my feelings anymore. He knows how important you are to this quest and to the company. I don’t believe he’ll try to keep you here merely because of our relationship. I will make him see how important this quest is to me, and equally how important you are to me.”   
He gazed at me so deeply, right into my soul, and I found myself melting into his arms and his eyes. He was so beautiful and so pure, I started to think that he may be able to convince Thorin after all. But the thoughts of Kíli’s status still plagued my mind; Thorin could still rule that Kíli must marry a dwarrowdam.   
“How do you know you’ll convince him?”   
“Well,” Kíli’s face flushed a little. “Dwalin and I spoke yesterday. He told me he knew about us, and he told me the real reason you don’t want my uncle to know.”   
I cringed, instinctively shrinking away from him. “He shouldn’t have told you that.”   
“He was angry that I hadn’t told you how I felt about you yet. He told me because he wanted me to understand that you felt the same way.” Kíli smiled at me. “Also, because the idea that you’re somehow unworthy of me is completely and utterly insane.”   
My head snapped around to face him again as he chuckled. I had a sudden urge to hit him; these thoughts had kept me awake at night, going mad with worry that Thorin would find out about us and confirm the truth – that he would deem a common daughter of Man an unworthy pursuit of a prince of Erebor – and here Kíli was laughing it off.   
“Vana,” he said softly, his laughter fading at my fierce expression. “You’re worth a thousand times more than I can give you. More than all the gold in Erebor.   
“Do you know why dwarves call their chosen lover their ‘One’? It’s because Mahal crafts only one soul mate for each dwarf. For some it might be their work, for others it might be another dwarf. I don’t know how much of those tales I believe but I know that it’s in my blood to love you as I do. I couldn’t change it even if I wished to.   
“Uncle knows it. He would never presume to dismiss my desire to court you because you’re not a dwarf, and he would never belittle you so much as to cast you out of the company for not being from a noble family. He knows you only as the woman who loves his company and his family and who is willing to face a dragon to help him take back his home. Anything else is detail. I personally cannot think of anything that better describes a potential princess of Erebor.”   
The reflections of light from the water shimmered on his face as he spoke, and made his eyes glow a bright mahogany. I found myself smiling at him and leaning in to kiss him, slowly, softly and deeply for many long moments.   
“Well then,” I whispered as I eventually pulled away. “If you want to tell him, I’ll come with you.”   
“Are you sure?” Kíli breathed, smiling widely.   
“I’m sure,” I replied, moving to kiss him again. “I love you,” I murmured against his lips.   
“ _Men lananubukhs menu_ ,” he replied.

 


	15. Midsummer's Night (Or 'why the dwarves require wizard trickery to get a dinner invitation')

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vana and Kili finally tell Thorin the truth - to a surprising reaction.  
> The Company have a dinner party at the expense of the Elves' IKEA fund.

_ Vana _

Later, after we had dried ourselves off and dressed once more, Kíli took my hand as we left the bedroom to search for Thorin. We came across him as we were coming down the stairs into the main hall and Kíli immediately released my hand to bound up to him and ask for a private word. Thorin nodded with a glance in my direction and the three of us walked out towards the balcony where Gandalf, Thorin and I had sat with Elrond for dinner. Taking a seat at the table, Thorin leant back to await his nephew’s words. Kíli smiled at me reassuringly before turning to Thorin, his words coming out in a rush.  
“Uncle, I want to formally ask your permission to court Vana. I know my timing is awkward, but the past few days have only made me more determined to proclaim my feelings for her. I love her, uncle. She’s my One and I want the whole world to know it.” He paused for breath, his eyes never leaving his uncle and I watched in anticipation as Thorin met his nephew’s stare with nothing but composure. His expression was utterly unreadable as he slowly nodded before turning to me.  
“And do you reciprocate my sister-son’s feelings?” he asked in a low voice.  
“I do,” I nodded, willing myself not to blink. “I love Kíli more than anything.”  
Thorin nodded again before turning back to Kíli . “Why now? Why not wait until we have the Mountain back?”  
“Because there are still many weeks of travel and many leagues to cross before we even reach the mountain, and I do not want to waste a single minute of it pretending not to feel the way I do.” Kíli answered unblinkingly.  
“You don’t think it will be a distraction?” Thorin asked and I flinched. _There it is._  
“Whether or not I braid her hair my feelings won’t change. I already think of her as my One and I already prioritise her safety above anything.”  
“And what of the quest? Where does that stand on your list of priorities?”  
I looked to Kíli and his face turned visibly darker as he frowned at his uncle.  
“The quest is my motivation to protect her. When we reclaim the mountain I will finally be able to court her properly. And I will have much more to offer her than I have now.” He paused to reach his hand out to me and I placed my hand in his without a second thought.  
“This quest means everything to us,” Kíli continued. “It’s our future as much as it is yours.”  
Thorin stared at his nephew for a few moments, his eyes unrelenting and his expression still fully composed. He then turned to me and I forced myself to meet his gaze without wavering.  
“And you, Vana? Do you feel the same?”  
I nodded, squeezing Kíli’s hand. I looked at him and he nodded at me encouragingly with a small smile. I took a deep breath before facing Thorin again.  
“When you found me I was just a helpless girl with no name and no home. Not only did you save my life, Thorin, but you welcomed me into your halls, your family and your life. Without you I never would have met Kíli, I never would have become the person I am today. I owe you everything, Thorin. And the least I can do is help you reclaim your kingdom. You deserve every piece of wealth in that mountain, you deserve to sit on that throne and to wear that crown. And your nephews deserve to stand at your side, as is their birthright.  
“Ever since you found me, my home has been with you and your family. They are my family as well now, and I hope to one day call Erebor my home as well as yours. As for Kíli, well all I really want from him is to be by his side, but he deserves to have his place in Erebor with you and Fíli much more than I deserve to be with him.”  
Thorin’s eyes never left mine as I spoke, and when I finished his gaze lingered for a few more moments. Finally, he relaxed with a deep sigh, glancing between the two of us.  
“You have convinced me of your loyalty to our cause,” he said, keeping his face blank. “I trust you both to be mature about this, to not do anything rash or stupid.” He raised a dark eyebrow and I tried to ignore the warmth growing in my cheeks. “Therefore, you both have my permission.”  
Kíli let out an excited laugh, practically leaping out of his chair to kneel next to mine and wrap his arms around me. I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders as I laughed with Kíli , wrapping my arms around his neck.  
“Thank you, Uncle,” I heard Kíli say.  
“Don’t make me regret it,” Thorin said as he stood up to leave. “Oh and make sure you tell the Company soon. Balin owes me ten silvers.”  
“He what?” I asked but Thorin only smiled and walked away. Kíli pulled away, looking glorious in his happiness.  
“What did I tell you?” He tapped the tip of my nose with his finger. “He gave his permission. Now I can tell the entire world you’re mine.”  
“That’ll take a while,” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. “How about we settle for telling the company?”  
“Would you mind if I wrote to Âmad as well? She’ll be over the moon that I’ve finally come to my senses.”  
“Of course you should,” I caressed his face with my hand and he leaned into my touch, closing his eyes as he pressed a soft kiss to my palm.  
“First though,” he said as he stood to pull me up to meet him. “I need to braid your hair.”  
“And I need to braid yours.” I smiled and we went back up to my room.

I didn’t have any beads of my own and so I simply braided the strands of Kíli’s hair on the sides of his face and pinned them back with his silver hair clasp. He spent much longer on my hair, first retrieving Dwalin’s family bead from my pack and redoing his family braid, then pulling the rest of my hair to the side to braid it and tie it off with my leather band. He saved his courting braid for last, separating several strands on the opposite side from my main braid and taking his time to plait the strands perfectly, finishing the end off with a silver bead he had received when we came of age. When he had finished I toyed with the end of it, eyeing the sigil on the bead and recognising it as the same one on his hair clasp.  
“I think I’m putting this moment on my list too.” I said with a small smile. Kíli grinned at me and I looked at the sigil again. “Does this mean I’m yours now?”  
“Aye,” Kíli grinned and kissed me softly. “And I’m yours,” he murmured.  
“My wee dwarrow,” I giggled and he pulled away with a mock frown.  
“Take that back or I’m taking that braid out.”  
“I’m sorry, my dwarrow-who-is-pretty-much-the-same-height-as-me-unless-I’m-slouching-like-an-old-man-in-which-case-he-is-in-fact-ever-so-slightly-taller-than-me.” I winked.  
“That’s much better,” he smirked and stood up from where we were sitting on the bed. “Shall we go to the others?” he asked, extending his hand out to me. I nodded and took it as I stood up and we left the room together.

The others were gathered in their quarters, chattering over the sounds of sharpening weapons and raucous laughter. Kíli opened the door and Bombur was the first to notice us. He greeted us happily enough until his eyes widened at the new braid in my hair and sight of our clasped hands.  
“Do my eyes deceive me?” He asked loudly, garnering everyone else’s attention. I half-hid behind Kíli as all eyes turned to us, blushing a little as Bofur let out a cheer.  
“About time too! Bifur!” He turned to his cousin. “Hand over my winnings!”  
“Was everyone in on this bet?” Kíli asked, laughing as Bifur tossed a small coin pouch in Bofur’s direction.  
“Aye, pretty much laddie,” Balin chuckled, handing his coins over to Thorin who smiled warmly at us.  
I then saw Dori receive a few coins from Glóin. “Even you Dori?”  
“Even I, lass. No one could pass this one up.” The grey-haired dwarf grinned at his victory.  
“I do believe we’re a bad influence,” I said to Kíli before I was suddenly pulled into a bear-hug by Fíli.  
“I suppose I’ll have to start calling you sister,” he chuckled softly in my ear.  
“A bit soon for that I think,” I let go of Kíli’s hand to hug him back. Despite the fact that Fíli had been the closest thing to a brother I’d ever had, it was a little overwhelming to think of it officially.  
“Not soon enough baby sister,” Fíli pulled away with a smirk. “This bet was starting to get heated. Dwalin even bet one of his axes.”  
_Dwalin._ I reminded myself and left Fíli to congratulate his brother to walk over to Dwalin where he was standing with Thorin, watching the entire scene with a fond smile.  
“What did I tell you?” he said softly as I wrapped my arms around him.  
“You really bet your axe that Kíli and I would -”  
“Get your act together? Wake up and smell the bacon? Yes, I did.” He chuckled and released me, carefully stroking my cheek with his armoured finger. “I told you, lass, I just want you to be happy.”  
“I am,” I smiled and kissed his cheek before going to back to Kíli and nestling into his warm arms, finally feeling completely peaceful and happy.

I left them not long after to visit the healers. They were friendly enough as they greeted me but I couldn’t help being filled with dread when they told me I was ready to take my bandage off. They seemed surprised that my arm had healed so quickly, even with Elvish medicine, but I wasn’t about to complain.  
The scar left behind was thinner than I thought it would be, but it stretched from the bottom of my neck, dipping below my shoulder and around to my upper arm. I turned around and saw that there were small, circular scars just below the back of my shoulder where the warg’s teeth had dug in. There was no way to fully conceal it without covering my neck so I gritted my teeth and told myself to get used to it.

_ Kíli  _

The night air was warm as the Company gathered on the balcony they had commandeered. It was Midsummer that day and the Elves were putting on a grand feast for the occasion but Elrond had not extended the invitation to his dwarven guests – and if he was honest, Kíli couldn’t blame him.  
Ori was sitting on the stone rail of the balcony, his sketchbook out on his lap. He had almost never been without it since they had arrived in Rivendell, determined to document as many details about the place as he could. Kíli stood next to his brother and uncle as the elves continued to mill around below them.  
“Have either of you seen Vana?” He asked them but they both shook their heads.  
“I would have thought she was with you,” said Thorin. “The two of you are practically inseparable now.”  
“It’s sickening to see,” Fíli grinned.  
“You’re so funny,” Kíli pretended to scowl as he punched his brother in the shoulder. “But I haven’t seen her since she left to see the healers.”  
“Then that is where she is,” Thorin raised an eyebrow. “Relax, Kíli.”  
“She’d better be quick,” Bofur quipped from his place on the floor just inside the sun room. In front of him he was breaking one of the chairs into pieces to make a small fire. “I’m starving.”  
“Me too,” Bombur added solemnly, placing the freshly skinned pheasant Kíli had caught a few days before on a makeshift spit.  
“You’re always hungry,” Nori nudged him as he walked past him back into the sun room. “Ah, here we go, the wait’s over!”  
Kíli spun round and, upon catching sight of familiar copper coloured hair, felt his lips turn up into a smile. Vana edged into the room and nudged the door closed with her good shoulder, her hands clasped behind her back. For a moment Kíli just took in the sight; her hair was out of its normal braid, though both Dwalin’s braid and his still decorated her soft curls. She wore a long white dress, with no sleeves, only straps to keep it on her shoulders. Her scar was exposed, curving around her shoulder, but he barely noticed it. The dress covered her chest, though it hugged her torso quite tightly and was tied around the waist with a silver sash before descending into a layered skirt that flowed down her legs like an icy waterfall, stopping just above her ankles exposing her bare feet. _Of course, bare feet._  
“Evening gentlemen,” she grinned. “So I had a thought.”  
“What’s that, lassie?” Dwalin asked.  
“I’m so glad you asked!” Her mouth opened in an excited grin as she brought her arms around to reveal a beautiful violin and bow. “I found this in the hall. Thought we could have our own party.”  
“I knew the lass would be useful!” Bofur cheered, reaching into his coat to pull out his flute.  
“You stole an elvish fiddle?” Balin asked with a raised eyebrow.  
Vana only raised hers back. “And I suppose you paid honest coin for the furniture you’re using as kindling?” Without waiting for an answer she balanced the fiddle expertly on her shoulder and began to tune it.  
“Where did you get the dress?” Fíli asked from his place lounging on one of the sofas.  
“It was in the chest in my room. You like it?”  
“It’s very pretty,” he winked and Kíli made a point of clearing his throat loudly.  
“It could be a little more modest,” Glóin grumbled.  
“Am I making you uncomfortable, Mister Glóin?” Vana asked with a smirk. “Is it the sight of my neck or my shoulders?”  
Glóin only muttered in response.  
“Well it’s very warm tonight so if you don’t mind I’ll dress to suit my own comfort.” Vana finished tuning the instrument with a final stroke of the bow.  
“Well, I think you look beautiful,” Bilbo said with a kind smile.  
“Thank you, Bilbo. So, shall we have a tune before dinner?”  
“I wouldn’t mind!” Bofur raised his hand.  
“Me neither,” Dori raised his pipe in response.  
“I’d love to hear you play!” Ori called in from the balcony.  
“Go, on lass,” Dwalin nodded to her with a smile and she made her way onto the balcony. They all watched from the edges of the balcony as she closed her eyes briefly, bringing the bow back to the violin.  
The smooth tune was soft at first and Kíli watched in awe as Vana moved about the space, almost as if she were flying. She began to skip slowly, kicking her pointed toes up high as she went and Kíli realised that her skirt was split up the side, allowing her legs to freely escape for a moment before settling back into the material. Her skips slowly became leaps, like those of a doe bounding across the hills as she played. Her mouth stretched into a smile as she spotted him staring and swayed her hips slightly suggestively. He shook his head at her, trying to hide his blush, but she only smirked as she danced away, her hair flowing behind her like a bronze waterfall. The company were just as engrossed by her performance, even the more prudent Glóin starting to ignore her exposed skin. Dwalin couldn’t help but share a proud smile with Balin.  
Bilbo gazed at the performance with the same fascination he used to have with Gandalf’s fireworks as a child. Hobbits were no strangers to good music but he had never heard any tune so captivating, nor seen such beautiful dancing as this. He savoured every note and every movement, committing them to memory, for he feared he may never again see such a sight as this.  
Next to Kíli, Ori was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his eyes darting between Vana and his sketchbook as he pressed pen to paper, determined to have a permanent reminder of this night and her performance.  
Suddenly, Vana eyes locked onto Kíli as the tune abruptly changed. It was much faster this time, and she smirked as her arm dragged the bow wildly back and forth across the strings. Her foot began to stamp as she went and the dwarves let out a loud cheer at the change in tone and began to clap and stamp along. She whipped around and began to dance wildly, her hair and skirt flying around her as she skipped and spun and leapt around. Her eyes, rather than being closed, were now open wide and bright against the night sky. In the firelight, Kíli could see them glowing a bright, delighted green and her mouth opened in an excited grin as she set eyes on the dwarves.  
She did a few more excited spins before striking the final note and raising her bow as if in victory with a smile on her face that Kíli knew signified her total and utter delight; his favourite smile. He took in her whole form, from the glint in her eyes, to her slightly dishevelled hair, to the curves shown off by her dress to her slim, bare feet. Without even thinking he began to walk towards her. Her smile only widened as she gave him a questioning look. He looked into her beautiful green eyes and finally just couldn’t help himself; as soon as she was within reach, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.  
She stiffened slightly in surprise when his lips first met hers, but soon began to respond, her lips moving in complete synchronisation with his. He placed a hand on the small of her back, pulling her against him as he buried his other hand in her hair. He could feel the perspiration on the back of her neck from her vigorous dancing and this only made him tighten his hold on her and soon her arms were around his neck, deepening the kiss.  
Vana giggled as Fíli shouted something particularly cheeky about them retreating to a private room.  
“Maybe we should stop there,” she said to Kíli who pressed his forehead against hers.  
“I don’t want to stop at all,” he whispered.

_ Vana _

My heart beat frantically at his words and I gasped slightly as he traced a hand over my bare shoulder, fingering the strap of my dress slightly.  
“I really like this dress,” he smirked suggestively.  
“Kíli …” I moaned, leaning away from his grip. I pressed a short kiss on the tip of his nose and moved past him to go towards the Company, but not before I leant in to whisper “later,” in his ear.  
“Lass, a stunning performance!” Balin said cheerily, raising a goblet of wine at me. The rest of the company gathered around to congratulate me.  
“I thought that was wonderful Vana,” Bilbo said from next to me and I returned his smile.  
“Thank you, Bilbo.”  
“Right, fire’s ready!” Bofur called and Bombur set the pheasant to cook.   
“We should hunt some more after we leave.” Kíli said with a grin.  
“I’m sure I can build more snares,” Fíli said with a wink at me.  
“When is that story going to get old?” I sighed.  
“When it stops being funny,” Fíli shrugged. “So, never. I will tell it to your children when I babysit them.”  
“I beg your pardon?” I asked in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. “This braid has not even been in my hair for a day and you’re talking about children.”  
“I’m allowed to dream,” Fíli winked again before Kíli wrapped an arm around his neck and ruffled his hair.  
“Alright, brother. Don’t be scaring my woman away just because you haven’t got yourself one yet!” He laughed as Fíli struggled out of his grip.  
“Flattering,” I chuckled as I set the violin and bow on the table.  
“We might need that later,” Bofur said, nodding to the fire.  
“See, this is why nobody invites you lot to dinner,” I laughed.  
“Who wants sausages?” Bombur called, pulling them out of his pack.

Later we were reclining around the room with our plates piled high. The breeze coming in through the open doors grew brisker and I ended up wrapping an elven blanket around my shoulders. I turned in my seat next to Kíli to find him with his pipe in his mouth and a book in his hand.  
“Is that a book in your hand?”  
“Yes,” he grinned. “What of it?”  
“I didn’t know you could read,” I smirked and turned back to Bofur so he could place my sausages on my plate. Bofur grinned up at me and I thanked him before making my way over to Kíli . He graciously moved his legs so I could sit down – before resting them on top of mine.  
“Do you mind?” I pointed at his legs with my fork.  
“Not in the slightest,” he smirked and went back to his book. I shook my head and placed my plate on his calves and digging into my dinner.  
“What are you reading?” I nodded towards his book.  
“It’s Ori’s, he said I could have a look. Did you know about this?”  
He held up a drawing and I had to lean in to see what it was more clearly. I scowled as I realised it was me dangling helplessly from Fíli’s snare.  
“Does he have to document _every single thing_ that happens on this trip?”  
“I like it. I might ask him for a copy, maybe get it framed.”  
“I will stab you with this fork.”  
Kíli laughed loudly and reached for his empty plate, picking up his own fork. “I’d like to see you try!” He cried and tapped my own fork with his.  
“Oh you’re going to challenge me?”  
“I think I just did.” Kíli tapped my fork again.  
“I will end you, Prince of Durin,” I grinned and speared my next sausage with my fork. “Tomorrow in the sparring grounds.”  
“I’ll take that bet,” Kíli winked.  
“What do I get if I win?”  
“Whatever you like,” Kíli winked again with a knowing smirk. “And if I win?”  
“Hmm,” I made sure to take a very slow bite of my sausage. “I’ll think of something.” I smirked as Kíli’s eyes widened.  
“Bombur!”  
Bofur’s shout caught our attention and we turned to see him throw a sausage to his brother, who was perched on top of a large wooden table that had not yet fallen victim to the fire. He caught the sausage with ease and there was a loud creak before the table collapsed underneath him, sending him tumbling to the ground and spilling his food all over himself. The entire company erupted into loud peals of laughter at the sight, all of us doubling over except for Bofur who quite literally rolled on the floor.  
The evening went on, filled with laughter, jokes, music and destroying of Elvish furniture and I became more and more convinced that Elrond’s previous offer to allow even Bilbo and I to stay would be rescinded come morning.

It was nearing midnight when I finally made my way up to my room, smiling to myself at the knowledge that Kíli would be joining me soon. It was only as I was about to open the door to my room that I heard a woman’s voice call my name but when I turned there was no one there. I frowned and went to continue but the voice sounded again.  
_“Vana?”_ she whispered, and I realised the voice was inside my head _. “Do not be afraid. I do not wish you harm. I only want to talk.”_  
I was rooted to the spot, confused, intrigued and a little afraid all at the same time. Again, I glanced around looking for the source of the voice and again I could find no trace of anyone.  
_Who are you?  
“My name is Galadriel, Lady of Lorien. Would you care to join me in the gardens?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's always a different party when Galadriel shows up...  
> Shit starts to get real next chapter.
> 
> Also, the tune Vana plays (in my head) is Old Blind Dogs - The Broken Pledge-Claggy's Dilemma-Hamilton's Jig


	16. Galadriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Galadriel makes an appearance, just her usual - casually giving ambiguous advice that may or may not prevent possible future events with a potential to alter the world as we know it for better or worse or both or neither - you know how she rolls...  
> Meanwhile Thorin overhears a conversation that he probably could have done without hearing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late delivery. As recompense, I present two chapters!

_ Vana _

I turned to face the direction of the gardens, situated behind the house near the sparring grounds. I glanced around but still couldn’t see any signs of that I wasn’t alone.   
_Why?  
“So we may speak privately.”   
About what exactly?  
“About your quest.”   
_ Her answer caught me off guard. _How does she know?  
“I am a guardian of Middle-Earth. It is my responsibility to know what goes on in these lands.”  
_ I almost jumped out of my skin at her response, before remembering that she was inside my head. Of course she could read what I was thinking. I began to make my way back down the stairs, around the side of the house and when I reached the sparring grounds I caught a brief glimpse of white disappearing into the trees behind the fountain where I heard the dwarves had bathed in.   
I swallowed my nerves and followed. As I passed through the trees I came into a small clearing with a small, ornate stone basin in the middle. A small white jug stood on the ground next to it and behind it was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She towered above me, her long blonde hair flowing down her front and back, practically glowing in the moonlight that reflected the pure white of her dress. She raised a pale hand to beckon me over with a small smile.   
_“Come closer child, I will not harm you.”_  
I flinched as her mouth made no movement but her words echoed clearly in my head nonetheless.   
“It’s…” My voice faltered as I moved closer, stopping in front of the basin. “It’s an honour to meet you Lady Galadriel.” I gave a clumsy curtsey and kept my eyes on my feet.   
“I do not have much time, Vana,” she spoke aloud now. “I would speak to you about the dwarves you travel with.”   
I nodded, frowning slightly. “You want to stop the quest?”   
“This quest is a dangerous one, there are many reasons why it should not go ahead. But I do not think any power will stop Thorin Oakenshield from making this journey.”   
“So what do you need from me?”   
Galadriel regarded me with an unreadable expression before taking a few steps closer and leaning down to pick up the jug. She slowly poured the water from the jug into the basin.   
“I would like you to look into the mirror.”   
“The what?” I eyed the basin.   
“This mirror will show you many things. Things that were, things that are and some things that have not yet come to pass.” She finished pouring the water and replaced the jug on the ground. “I need you to understand the effects this quest will have on our world. It is not only the lives of Thorin Oakenshield and his nephews that will change, but the lives of many. Dwarves, Elves and Men alike.”   
I frowned at the basin, afraid to look now. I mentally kicked myself for being scared of a small amount of water, but Galadriel’s words were reverberating around my head in a frightening echo.   
“These effects,” I looked up at her with a questioning stare. “Will they be good or bad?”   
“Look and see,” she answered with a glance down at the basin. I took a step towards it, breathing deeply as I looked into the water.   
For the first few moments, all I saw was my worried reflection, then the water started to ripple, and my face disappeared to be replaced by Thorin’s. He sat on a huge stone throne, adorned in a deep blue tunic with a dark, fur-lined cloak hanging from his shoulders. On his head sat a black and gold raven crown and he stared sombrely at the floor. I frowned slightly before his head snapped up, as if he had been startled, and then a huge smile spread across his face as he stood from his throne and walked forward. As he did so I saw that beside him stood Fíli, dressed in similar blue, richly made clothes, his neatly braided hair supporting a smaller silver crown, signifying his status as heir. He was also smiling and before long another person came into view. I could only see the back of her head but I knew from her stature and presentation that it was Dis, enveloping Thorin in a hug before moving to Fíli, who embraced his mother with tears in his eyes.   
The water shifted slightly and suddenly I was staring directly at Kíli . He was gazing back at me with a look of such love and devotion that I immediately had to resist the urge to reach out and touch his image. He smiled as he spoke to me but I heard no words. He was dressed in robes of the finest dark blue, and a fur pelt was draped over his shoulders, attached to a long, flowing cloak. His hair was finely combed (for once) and decorated with silver beads at the front, adorning his dark braids and resting on top of his head was a silver crown. He grinned as he stopped speaking and held up a silver ring.  
I couldn’t help but gasp. _Our wedding. This is our wedding._ That could only mean one thing; the quest was going to succeed. We were going to make it to Erebor, Thorin would reclaim his throne and Fíli and Kíli would become princes. I grinned as the image of Kíli smiled widely, his eyes shining with joy.   
The image shifted again and this time Kíli was sitting in a chair, an open book in his hands. His eyes moved rapidly over the lines on the page before he glanced up, having heard a sound. His mouth opened in a huge smile as he placed the book down next to the chair and leant forward until he was kneeling on one leg in front of the chair, his arms outstretched. A small head of dark brown hair came into view as a small dwarfling ran into his arms which he wrapped around them as he lifted them up. I looked closer and saw that it was a little girl in Kíli’s arms, wrapping her chubby fists around his braids as he lifted her into the air and laughing as she tugged on them. He then looked down in a surprise as another dwarfling, a little boy, grabbed onto his leg, wrapping all four of his tiny limbs around it with a delighted grin.  Kíli grinned at the child and began to gently lift his leg into the air, pretending to try shake the child free. He looked up at me again with a small laugh.  
_Our children,_ I thought. _These are our children._ I smiled at the image. _They look like him. The girl has his hair, the boy has his eyes.  
_ The water rippled again and I saw only my reflection. I looked up at Galadriel with a smile but she did not return my gaze. Instead she kept looking at the water and I frowned as I returned my gaze to it.   
The water shimmered and I began to make out what appeared to be a frozen lake. I stood upon the ice and looked ahead to a ruined watch tower, half crumbled into nothing. Most of the levels were open and I could see part of the way into the rock. On the top level a dark orange glow emitted from within the structure and I could make out large, crude shadows moving across the stone. A huge pale figure, twice the height of a dwarf, appeared and held aloft another, smaller figure. I moved closer and noticed that the figure, who was now dangling helplessly over the edge of the tower, had shoulder length golden hair.   
I let out a strangled yelp as I recognised his terrified face. _Fíli!_ Before I could call his name I caught the gleam of a blade before it was buried in Fíli’s back and the large figure released him, letting him fall from the tower.   
“No!” The word left my mouth in a short gasp as the image shifted. Now I was surrounded by the crumbling stone, climbing a set of stairs in a hurry. I was inside the watch tower. I reached the top of the stairs and turned the corner, faced with a narrow stone corridor. Through it I could see the outer wall had disappeared, offering a view of a darkening sky and a looming grey mountain in the distance. I moved down the corridor and as I neared the opening I saw the pale figure again.   
He now wore crudely built armour over his shoulders and chest, with what appeared to be huge bear claws sticking sharply up from his shoulders. He held up a huge weapon, the head of a large spiked mace on top, while the bottom of the handle, which he gripped in a huge armoured fist, was sharpened to a crude blade. In front of him, sprawled on the ground, was a tall, female figure dressed in green, with long red hair splayed over her shoulder, reaching far down to below her waist. Sticking out from beneath the strands of hair in front of her face were long, delicately pointed ears. _An Elf?_   
The pale figure looming over her suddenly moved the blade down in a swift motion and the Elf appeared to gasp in horror, reaching a hand out towards the figure. I moved closer as she began to weep, her face contorted into an expression of pure grief. The pale figure wrenched his weapon upwards and I saw a third person drop to the ground.   
The third person was unmoving, his eyes closed as if asleep, his long brown hair splayed over the grey stone.   
_Kíli._  
I could feel my stomach attempt to lurch its way out of my mouth as I gripped the stone basin with white knuckles. Kíli was dead. Gone from the world. Never to laugh or smile again, never to ride with me, hunt with me, hold me, kiss me.   
_Kíli is dead._  
_Fíli is dead._  
I shook my head, leaning far forward over the edge of the basin. My throat hurt with the gasps of air I was taking, my chest heaving with the effort to take in as much oxygen as possible. I wanted to run to him, to touch him and prove he wasn’t dead. _If he’s dead he’ll be cold. He won’t have a heartbeat. I need to listen for his heartbeat._  
But I wouldn’t move. The image was still except for the weeping Elf woman. I couldn’t run forward or backwards. I couldn’t move at all.   
The image shifted once more and I found myself back on the ice field. This time I was by the edge, gazing out over the scene of a huge battle. The field far beneath me was riddled with the bodies of those slain and of those still fighting. A ruined city was burning, and beyond that loomed a huge, lone mountain.   
Directly in front of me, however, was Bilbo, his face covered in dirt and blood as he wept over the body of Thorin, whose lifeless eyes gazed unseeing up at the sky where the eagles flew overhead.   
They were all dead; Fíli, Kíli , Thorin. The line of Durin gone. Forever.   
The tears pouring down my face seemed to burn into my skin and the sobs tore at my throat as they fought to escape. Breathing took all of my efforts now, as did standing and seeing and hearing.   
I pushed against the basin with all my strength, sending myself falling backwards, and landing heavily on my back.   
“No. No more, no more.” _Who will I see next? Dwalin? Balin? Bilbo?_  I retched a little at the thought, fighting to stifle the sobs that wrenched free of my chest. I looked up at Galadriel through my blurred vision and this time she met my gaze with a sombre expression.   
“It’s not true,” I whispered. “It’s not true, please tell me it’s not true.”   
“It is one of a few possible futures.”   
I shook my head. “No, no it cannot be.” I fought to sit up but the images I had seen were like a dead weight on my chest.   
“This quest is dangerous,” Galadriel repeated. “The Mountain is a source of great wealth and power. Many seek to claim it for themselves, and if the dragon is defeated, they will have a greater motive.”  
“But…” I struggled to calm myself enough to speak. “The Mountain is Thorin’s birthright. He is the rightful King. He has the only right to the riches within it.”   
“It is a position of power. An evil is stirring in the heart of Middle Earth that will soon make itself known. The line of Durin is in danger; there are those who would seek to break it before the kingdom of Erebor can be rebuilt. If the Lonely Mountain falls into the hands of darker forces, it could become a great danger to all the Free Peoples of Middle Earth.”   
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked hoarsely. Her words terrified me; they echoed with ruin and despair and even she seemed afraid at what she was saying. She fixed me with a serious look, her eyes burning into me.   
“Your fate is mingled with the fate of this quest, with the fate of these dwarves. You care deeply about them, do you not?”   
I could only nod.   
“Then it is you who must save them. The line of Durin must not fail. It must endure, for the sake of many.”   
The crushing weight only increased with her declaration. This powerful being, a guardian of this world, was entrusting the fate of an entire race…to me. I wanted to cry and scream that it was too much. I wanted to run far away. I wanted hide somewhere and never come out. Instead I could only force myself to utter a single word: “How?”   
To my utter surprise, Galadriel smiled.   
“You do not know it yet, but you are strong and brave. Your heart is true and filled with nothing but love for those you travel with. You do not seek the riches within the Mountain, nor do you seek the power of a royal marriage. You only want to see the happiness of your companions, and to aid them in their endeavours. That is a rarity amongst all races.”   
She stepped around the basin towards me and I was frozen in place as she leant down and reached a hand out to me.   
“You, Vana, can alter the course of the future, if you will only believe in your ability to change it. Thorin Oakenshield and his nephews need not die if you wish to prevent it.”   
At her words I felt a surge in strength as the grief in my heart gave way to a determined fury. I grasped her hand and she effortlessly pulled me to my feet.   
“Of course I do,” I hissed, but she did not flinch. “How am I supposed to protect them? I don’t even know exactly what I saw.”   
“It will become clearer,” she said. “I will only say one more thing: do not underestimate your abilities. Even if you feel sure you will fail, try anyway.”   
“That was two things.” I regretted the words as soon as I said them. Galadriel only smiled and glided past me.   
“Wait,” I turned around but she was already gone. I glanced around but there was no sign of her, as if she hadn’t been there at all. I turned my attention back to the mirror but the water only showed my reflection. The images of Kíli, Fíli and Thorin lying dead were like branding irons inside my head, refusing to relent.   
_You’re not in a watch tower. You’re in Rivendell. Kíli’s alive, they’re all alive. Kíli’s alive._   
“Kíli,” I ended up saying his name out loud. I needed to see him, to touch him. It was utterly ridiculous but I needed to make sure he was alive. Before I knew it I was running, sprinting out of the gardens and across the grounds, up the stairs from the courtyard towards the main hall. I got to the hall as Kíli was setting foot on the staircase. He caught sight of me and grinned widely until he saw the obvious fear in my eyes.   
“Vana? What’s wrong?” He came towards me and I all but leapt at him, throwing my arms around his neck. “What happened? Are you hurt?”  
His voice was music, his words were like honey. I shook my head in answer to his questions, nuzzling into his neck, breathing him in.   
_Kíli’s alive. He’s safe and he’s alive._ For now.  
“Vana?”   
He pulled away, worry plastered all over his face and I kissed him hard, needing to feel him again. He hesitantly kissed me back, his hands on the back of my waist and neck. After a few moments I pulled away and led him out onto the balcony where we had spent our first evening.   
Once the moonlight was shining brightly on his face I took in every single one of his features that I knew so well, tracing the outline of his cheeks and lips with my fingers.   
“Promise me something?” I whispered.   
“Anything,” he replied, returning my intense gaze.   
“Don’t die.” The words were so simple and yet I felt as if I was holding onto a heavy weight on a fraying rope. Kíli, as young and strong as he was, was suddenly so fragile under my hands. I couldn’t lose him. I _wouldn’t_ lose him.   
Kíli frowned at my request. It was so ludicrous and I could tell it scared him. Death was inevitable, and yet neither of us had ever thought about it, until a few days ago. Whether it was tomorrow or two hundred years from now, we had never thought about what it would be like to lose the other.   
Kíli regarded me for a few moments before pulling me into his arms, tightening them around me as his lips moved to my ear.   
“I’ll do my best,” he whispered. “Will you promise me the same?”   
I nodded and he pressed his lips against my ear, moving them down my jaw and to my lips again. He kissed me deeply and lovingly, as if he could kiss all of my worries away.   
In the distance, down below us, the Elves had started their music again. It was slow and emotional, beautiful even.   
At the sound of it, Kíli pulled away again, gazing down into my eyes with a small smile.   
“Dance with me?”   
I nodded and placed my arms around his neck. His arms locked around my waist as he swayed the two of us in time to the music echoing below us. One Elf-woman began to sing and soon many others joined her, forming a beautiful, if unintelligible, melody. I allowed myself to think they were singing about the stars. I rested my forehead against Kíli’s with a small smile of my own.   
“Stay with me tonight?” I asked, feeling shy all of a sudden. “All night?”   
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes,” I breathed. “I want to wake up next to you.”  
“I want that too,” Kíli nodded with a warm smile before leaning in to kiss me.  
“I love you, you know?” I whispered.   
“I know,” his breath tickled my skin as he whispered back. “As you know I do.”

_ Thorin _

He could hear them below, his company, laughing hysterically at something. He was glad they were enjoying themselves, that they could relax without the fear of being heard by beasts or enemies. He wished he could join them, but he knew that whenever he was present the atmosphere was different for them. He knew they regarded him as a friend and a comrade, but he was first and foremost their king, and it just wasn’t the same. He appreciated that, and he also appreciated the excuse for some time to himself; for his own thoughts.

He made his way further up the stone steps, pausing only as he heard Gandalf’s voice:  
“Of course I was going to tell you. I was waiting for this very chance. And really, I think you can trust that I know what I’m doing.”  
“Do you?”   
Thorin huffed silently at the Elf-lord’s accusing tone. He continued up the steps towards the balcony and saw that the hobbit was standing with his back to him, clearly listening in on the same conversation.  
“That dragon has slept for many, many years,” Elrond continued. “What would happen if your plan should fail? If you wake that beast?”  
“But if we succeed?” Gandalf interjected. “If the dwarves take back the Mountain our defences in the East will be strengthened.”  
“It is a dangerous move, Gandalf.”  
“It is also dangerous to do nothing. The throne of Erebor is Thorin’s birthright. What is it you fear?”  
“Have you forgotten? A strain of madness lies deep in that family.”   
Thorin’s chest tightened at his words and he fought to keep a straight face as the hobbit seemed to sense his presence and turned to face him. Ignoring him, Thorin slowly turned away so the hobbit would not see the fear he knew was so evident in his eyes.  
“His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness. Can you swear Thorin Oakenshield will not also fall? Gandalf these decisions do not rest with us alone. It is not up to you or me to redraw the map of Middle Earth.”  
“With or without our help these dwarves will march upon the Mountain. They’re determined to reclaim their homeland. I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels he is answerable to anyone.”  
Thorin would not listen to anymore. Instead he stormed away back down the stairs, suddenly longing desperately for the cheer of his company and his nephews’ laughter.   
Once he came to the main corridors he allowed himself a moment to gather his thoughts. He couldn’t come storming back to his company like this. They would see his distress and their cheer would be over. Besides, Dwalin, Balin and his nephews would want to know what was wrong, and he couldn’t tell them. Not yet.   
He took a few deep breaths and continued along to the main hall. A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he instinctively stopped, hands twitching towards where his sword normally sat. He moved closer, stepping out into the main hall and saw his youngest nephew on the balcony - and he was dancing, swaying slightly to the distant Elvish music, with his beloved. His head rested against hers, which was laid on his shoulder and their eyes were closed as they danced together.   
He gazed at them for a few moments; he hated intruding on their privacy, but he allowed himself to indulge in his nephew’s happiness. After all, this was the reason he was doing all this. Not the gold, not the riches, not even the Arkenstone. He was doing this for his nephews. He repeated this in his head as he slowly made his way towards the couple, clearing his throat loudly. They sprang apart and he shook his head in amusement at the momentary fright on their faces.   
“We must leave in the morning, at first light. Gandalf will be joining us later. Make sure you’re ready.”   
“So soon, uncle?” Kíli asked. “What about Vana?”   
Thorin regarded the woman who was looking at him with fierce anticipation. “If you are feeling well enough, you will join us. But we are leaving tomorrow.”   
Vana nodded and smiled in thanks and Thorin nodded before leaving the two of them and going to inform the rest of the company.


	17. Into the Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Company leaves Rivendell. The dwarf-human-hobbit road trip continues.  
> Oh sweet mother of Tolkein, the banter...

_ Vana _

The next morning I woke with Kíli’s arms wrapped around me, and his skin warm under my hands. He was still fast asleep, his face a perfect picture of tranquillity. I smiled at his peaceful expression until the image from the mirror cut in front of my sight.   
_The pale figure wore sharp, crude armour, and held a twisted horror of a weapon in his hand. The Elf-maid wept so profusely at the sight and yet Kíli appeared so peaceful lying on the cold, hard ground._  
My hands instinctively went to Kíli’s chest, searching for a heartbeat and I sighed in relief as I felt it beating steadily against my palm. His chest rose and fell under my hands with every breath and some strands of his hair had fallen forward, tickling my face. I gently pushed the escaped hair behind his ear before stroking my hand back over his neck and down his chest. Kíli’s lips turned upwards in a small smile at the action and his eyelids fluttered slightly.   
“Kíli?” I whispered his name and pressed a small kiss to his nose. “Kíli, it’s time to wake up.”   
Kíli moaned a little and moved closer, pulling me against his chest so my face was pressed against his neck.   
“Kíli!” I giggled and tilted my face up so my lips would reach his ear. “We have to leave today.”   
“Nnuu -” Kíli moaned again, turning on his back, his eyes still closed, and pulling me with him so I was lying on top of him. “No, outside bad. Inside good.”   
“You lazy dwarrow,” I tutted. “A prince of Durin’s folk, too lazy to get out of bed?”   
“I’m third in line,” he muttered with a small smirk. “Princes who are third in line don’t need to get up early.”   
“And what happens to princes who are third in line when his uncle comes looking for him and finds him in bed with his lover?”   
“By that time the prince is so overcome with joy at being in bed with his lover that he no longer cares for anything else.” Kíli winked and leant up to kiss me.   
Many minutes later we were no closer to getting up; his hands pressed into my back as I tried, in vain, to move off him.   
“Kíli, if we’re late everyone will suspect us.”   
“Let them suspect,” Kíli scoffed, smirking up at me. “They’re dwarves, they’re a suspicious lot.”   
“Kíli…” I frowned at him. “Do you really want to be in the wilderness with nowhere to run and have Dwalin suspect you of stealing my virtue?”   
Kíli’s smirk faded at the thought.   
“Steal?” He protested innocently. “I stole nothing! You _gave_ it to me, practically threw it at me – if anything you stole _my_ virtue!”   
I burst out laughing, my head falling on his chest as he continued pleading his case.

“I only came up to apologise for being an idiot! I was merely fulfilling the duties of a good prince and…and you just took it really, _really_ well…”   
He trailed off as his own laughter got the better of him. The two of us were just quivering messes now.   
“Well,” I breathed as I regained control of my speech. “You have fun explaining that to Dwalin and his knuckledusters. I’m going to get ready.”   
I rolled over to reach down for my white shirt and sat up to slip it over my head. Before I could stand up, however, two strong arms wrapped around me from behind and I smiled and shook my head as Kíli’s warm, slightly swollen lips pressed against my neck.   
He had spent many glorious minutes kissing my neck last night, covering every inch of the scar with his lips and murmuring loving words against my skin.   
_“This scar only makes you more beautiful to my eyes. You threw yourself in front of a warg for me. That is a debt I may never be able to repay. Any who see this scar as anything less than a mark of your strength is not worthy to lay eyes upon you.”_  
“I’m going to miss this bed,” he said softly, bringing me back to the present. “I’m especially going to miss you in this bed.”   
“We’ll have our own bed in the Mountain,” I said, leaning my head back so he could kiss more of my neck. “I mean it will technically be my bed, but you’ll be more than welcome in it.”   
“Why can’t it be my bed?”   
“Because you’ll be in the royal chambers, with your uncle, your brother, your mother…” I paused to raise an eyebrow.   
“True enough,” Kíli pulled me tightly against him. “I don’t know how I’m going to resist you until then though.”   
“The lack of bathing might help,” I chuckled.   
“And when it’s cold? And you need me to keep you warm?” I could practically hear the smirk behind Kíli’s words as his hands travelled a little higher. “When I’m holding you close and you’re pressing against me? How will I resist?”   
I moaned a little as he stroked the skin just under my breasts, picturing the two of us under the stars, in the soft grass, gradually coming undone together. It took a few moments to pull myself back to reality.   
“The fact that your brother will be right next to us might help,” I said, taking his hands in mine and turning to grin at him. “As will the fact that Dwalin will probably pin you to a tree with your own arrows if you try.”   
His chest rumbled against my back as he laughed.   
“I suppose I should leave you now then,” he sighed into my shoulder. “Thank you.”   
“For what?”   
“For giving me the greatest gift of all,” he said softly, his huge brown eyes gazing boldly into mine. “For saying you’ll be mine.”   
I smiled, my heart leaping at his words.   
“It was my pleasure,” I whispered as I leant in to kiss him one more time.

The sun was just over the horizon when we snuck out of Rivendell. The path out of the valley took us up over the ridges and into what could only be described as the Wilds. The land before us was open with rolling hills and lush forests running up the hillsides. In the distance, the snow-capped mountain ranges shone in the summer sun and I felt a new excitement at the thought of climbing those mountains, breathing in the fresh air and being able to see the entire world beneath our feet. The thought made me smile to myself.   
The ground beneath our feet was rough and rocky, with sharp, crude grass growing in tufts from the cracks but I enjoyed the solid ground. As much as the stay in Rivendell had been relaxing and enjoyable, everyone was happy to be on the move again – everyone except perhaps Bilbo, though he never complained. He caught me smiling as I turned to look back at him and threw a questioning smile back at me.   
“What are you so happy about?”   
I laughed and extended my arms out, raising them as far as my heavy pack would allow. “Have you not looked around us? This is what it is to see the world outside your door!”   
“Lass,” Bofur called from behind Bilbo. “You are far too happy for someone who was bedridden and bleeding less than a week ago!”   
“I could always try and be more like you lot?” I called back with a grin before hunching myself over and leaning heavily on the nearest dwarf I could find – Nori. “Ugh, my feet hurt! Uuh, my back! Ugh, my heavy dwarven bones!”   
“I resent that!” Nori playfully shoved me away. “I’ve made no complaints of any kind! At least not out loud.”   
“Are we really so grumpy?” Fíli asked, catching up beside me. “How can you think so little of our noble race?”   
“Yes, that shovel sticking out of your pack is so noble,” I raised an eyebrow. “You know the one who carries the shovel is the one who digs the latrines, my Prince?” I dodged Fíli’s punch to my good shoulder.   
“I’d like to see you dig a better one!”   
“Why are we suddenly talking about latrines?” Bilbo asked, shaking his head quizzically.   
“The latrines are an important job Bilbo,” I said seriously. “Luckily for us, Prince Fíli is an expert in such matters.”   
“I’m sorry, when did I, the heir to Thorin II Oakenshield, become the royal latrine-digger?”   
“You’ve got to pay your dues, brother,” Kíli appeared next to us, having retreated from the front.   
“You know, as the elder, I could easily have you assigned to latrine duty. We’ll see how much Vana wants to kiss you when you’re smelling of -”  
“Fíli!” We all jumped as Dwalin’s bark came from in front of us. “What was that yeh were sayin’ about my daughter?”   
“Nothing Mister Dwalin, except that she’s beautiful and honourable and we completely respect her as all dwarves of royal blood should respect their baby sister.” Fíli nodded in confidence but couldn’t hide his grin as Dwalin raised a thick eyebrow and Thorin chuckled.   
“’Baby sister’?” I muttered, shaking my head at him.   
“Soon enough,” Fíli winked at me.

The next few days saw us moving to higher ground. Without the ponies we were slower than before and Thorin never failed to remind us of the time limit we were now faced with whenever somebody complained. As we neared the mountain ranges we ascended up the hill sides. The trees thinned as we went, until they became green blankets to the ground below our paths.   
I missed the bed in Rivendell now that I had to grow used to sleeping on the ground again. I spent my nights curled against Kíli, the night being completely devoid of the heat from during the day. Even once I resigned myself to the hard ground and my thin bedroll, my sleep was still uneasy. Every night the images from Galadriel’s mirror haunted my memory; the vision of Kíli falling dead on the cold, icy stone of the watchtower, the pale figure with his horrific mace yanking the blade out of his chest and the red-haired Elf weeping on the ground. I could never see the face of the pale figure. He never turned, he only dropped Kíli’s lifeless body to the ground. I would wake up, shaking with the tears pouring down my face and see Kíli sleeping next to me. He looked utterly peaceful as he slept, as he also looked in the vision, and I had to put my hand to his chest to make sure his heart was still beating. Every night I saw him die and every time I awoke his heart was still beating. The burden of this knowledge was growing heavier with each passing night and I began to spend the time in between waking up and falling back to sleep debating whether or not I should tell someone in the Company – and if so who?

One day we came across a sheer cliff face that towered above us in a dark grey shadow. Running down its side was a thin stream of water crashing down into the hillside below us. The cliff bent inwards as it came down, forming an indent in our path so we could walk behind the waterfall. Thorin ordered us to rest in the shadow of the cliff, which gave us some cover from the midday sun. While the company settled themselves on the ground, sighing almost unanimously as their heavy packs slid to the ground, I took the opportunity to wash my hair. I removed my boots, socks and tunic and rolled my trouser legs up to my knees, taking my comb towards the waterfall. As I was undoing my braid, I rinsed my feet off in the cool water, checking for any sores or blisters which so far I had managed to avoid. I kept the courting braid and family braid in and dipped my head forward under the waterfall. The water fell hard and cold on the back of my head but it was so refreshing I couldn’t help but let out a loud gasp of laughter.   
“Having fun over there?” Bofur shouted, though I barely heard him over the water.   
“This is the best I’ve felt in days!” I called back.   
I combed my fingers through my hair to get out the worst of the tangles and cringed at the amount of dead hair coming out. Leaning back out of the water, I squeezed my hands around my hair tightly to wring out the worst of the water before turning back to the company. I settled down next to Kíli and began to comb my wet hair.   
“This may be the only thing I hate about travelling,” I grimaced as my comb stuck in a particularly large knot.   
“This coming from the girl almost bitten in half by a warg?” Nori laughed and Dwalin shot him a glare.   
“I love my hair,” I muttered, giving my comb a yank.   
“Here, let me?” Kíli reached out for my comb. I gave it to him and he moved behind me to start combing through my hair. I barely felt his fingers moving through my hair and he was carefully pulling out all the tangles. “It would be such a shame if your hair ended up as greasy as Bofur’s.”   
“I heard that!” the dwarf grumbled, pulling off his hat to inspect his hair.   
“How much longer until we reach the mountains?” I asked to nobody in particular. Thorin turned to face me, his expression tired.   
“A couple of days. We need to reach the ridge above this cliff first and that should lead us straight onto the High Pass.”   
“And there we wait for Gandalf?”   
Thorin nodded.   
“What about the goblins?” Ori asked, his sketchbook lying open on his lap. “Is it safe to go near their caves?”   
“We should be far enough south not to come across any large numbers.” Dwalin assured him. “Besides, as long as we’re near enough to daylight they won’t bother us.”   
“It’s the fastest way,” Thorin added. “And time is of the essence now.”

The next two days saw us climbing further up into the hills. The mountain ranges were close now, towering above us even as we ascended further. The ground grew tougher as we reached higher ground, the grass that grew was sharp and tough and the ground itself was uneven and awkward to walk on. Bilbo and I favoured much better than the dwarves in this regard; his tough hobbit feet and small size meant he could find his way around the rocks much more easily than the dwarves. My dainty little human feet had no problems finding a route free of pitfalls.   
The dwarves grumbled at me as I bounded past them with an excited cry of laughter.   
“What could you _possibly_ have to happy about?” Dori asked exasperatedly as he picked himself up from another stumble on the rocks.   
“She’s spotted a bird,” Nori groaned and pointed at the falcon I was chasing.   
“Leave her be,” Bofur chuckled. “It’s nice to see a smile among this company for a change.”   
I caught up to the front, watching the falcon swoop down over the mountainside.   
“We’re almost to the top!” I shouted back to the rest of them.   
“Vana!” Thorin called to me in a tired voice. “Be careful! I don’t want anyone falling off the mountain.”   
“Let her go, uncle,” Fíli grinned at him and then at me. “Baby sister’s just having fun.”   
“You really need to stop calling me that,” I warned, pointing sharply at him, though I couldn’t stop smiling. Climbing mountains was one of my favourite things. “And the rest of you need to hurry up!”  
“Lass,” Dwalin leaned on his axe to catch his breath. “If yeh tell us to hurry up one more time, I will send yeh rollin’ down this mountain.”   
“And yet, I would probably still reach the top faster than you!” I grinned at the old warrior, who only glared back at me.

_ Kíli  _

The climb was killing them. Everyone in the Company was having a hard time ascending this hill. It was the last climb before they reached the ridges that would lead to the High Pass and Kíli could not wait for it to be over. The only person that had no problem with the climb was Vana, who was bounding up the hill and chasing birds like a mountain-cat cub. If it wasn’t for the sheer exhaustion he was feeling, Kíli would have loved to watch her. He loved nothing better than seeing her so happy and natural. He had learned a long time ago that Vana loved mountains. She loved the thrill of the climb and the reward of reaching the top and breathing in the fresh air. His Vana belonged in the mountains.  
He caught up with his brother and uncle as she bounded ahead in front of them.   
“She looks so happy,” he smiled to his brother.   
“I know, it’s awful,” Fíli shook his head. “I feel like an old mule.”   
“What does that make Uncle?” Kíli laughed as Thorin jerked his head in their direction.   
“I heard that! Kíli, you go on ahead. Make sure she doesn’t fall off a cliff somewhere.”   
“You want me to run after her?” Kíli groaned. “Uncle, I can barely walk!”   
“Think of it as proof that you’re not an ‘old mule’,” Thorin raised an eyebrow at his nephew, and Kíli gathered what was left of his strength to speed up. By the time he had overtaken his uncle Vana had disappeared from sight.

Ten minutes later Kíli had reached the top of the hill. He came out onto the ridges and saw to his amazement that they were surrounded by the mountains. All around them was snow and sharp rocks and below them the green and yellow fields of the wild land they had spent the last week or so traversing. His chest and legs were aching from the climb but the air was so refreshing up here he barely noticed it anymore. He took in the view as he searched for Vana, only spotting her when he heard her calling.  
“Kíli!”   
He saw she was perched on top of a collection of boulders, standing as a straight silhouette against the snowy backdrop. Her hair seemed to shine almost red in the sunlight and her arms were outstretched on either side as if welcoming in the surrounding vista.   
“How amazing is this?” She hollered into the air with a laugh. “Definitely going on the list!”  
Kíli smiled widely as he made his way to the foot of the boulder, dumping his pack on the ground next to hers. “And what exactly do you plan to do now you’re up there?”   
“I am the queen of the world!” She shouted into the wind before crowing loudly like a bird. Kíli burst out laughing at the sound and joined her, throwing his arms into the air and leaning his head back to howl like a wolf. She laughed delightedly at the sight and leapt off the boulder to join him. They spun around each other, trying to crow and howl louder than the other before eventually Kíli pulled her into his arms with a laugh.   
“You’re insane, you know that don’t you?”   
“I learned from the best,” she grinned and tapped the tip of his nose with her finger.   
A loud cough sounded from behind them and they turned to see the entire company had caught up with them. Many were shaking their heads fondly, others were simply smiling. Fíli and Bofur were openly laughing.   
“When the two of you have quite finished,” Thorin said in a tired voice. “The rest of us were hoping for a quiet rest before we move on.”

The Company rested behind a series of rocks that blocked the direction of the wind. They were all utterly exhausted from the climb and most of them were snoozing lightly against the rocks. Ori, of course, had his sketchbook out and was busy sketching the erratic landscape of the mountain ranges.   
“Ori, you still haven’t drawn me,” Vana pointed out cheerily, catching the young dwarf’s attention. He looked up from his book in surprise.   
“You’re right,” he smiled. “And here’s as good a place as any, it’s definitely in your element.”   
“Let’s do it then,” Vana leapt to her feet. “While this lot are still recovering. Where do you want me?”   
“I have the perfect idea,” said Kíli, pointing towards the boulder upon which Vana had previously ordained herself queen of the world.   
“I knew you were useful for something,” she grinned and practically skipped over to it. Ori followed and she climbed onto the boulder, trying to decide what position she wanted to be in.   
Kíli chuckled at her and felt someone sitting in her place beside him. He turned to see Dwalin settling against the rock with a small smile on his face.   
“I’ll never understand where the lass can get so much energy.”   
“It’s the mountain air,” Kíli said, turning back to her. “It does something to her head.”   
“She’s truly a wonder isn’t she?” Dwalin said fondly, shaking his head slightly before leaning back on the rock to snooze.   
Bofur sat up from his previous snoozing position opposite them to call over to her.   
“Do we at least get a song from you lass? Since you’re in such good spirits?”   
“I’m going to start charging you for the pleasure of my singing,” she called back. She was sitting on the boulder, one leg hanging down and the other bent with her foot resting on the boulder, her knee brought up to her chin and her hands clasped around it. Ori was sitting with his knees bent in front of him, his sketch pad resting against his legs as he drew.   
“Go on, Vana,” Nori joined in. “Give us a tune.”   
“Please, baby sister?” Fíli grinned as Vana scowled at him.   
“You and I need to have a talk about that,” she glared at him before clearing her throat. She looked out in front of her towards the distant mountains and Kíli could see her smile to herself as she picked a song.

 _“When the cold winds are calling,_  
And the sky is clear and bright,  
Misty mountains sing and beckon,  
Lead me out into the light.

 _I will ride, I will fly,_  
Chase the wind and touch the sky,  
I will fly,  
Chase the wind and touch the sky.

 _Where dark woods hide secrets,_  
And mountains are fierce and bold,  
Deep waters hold reflections,  
Of times lost long ago.

 _I will hear their every story,_  
Take hold of my own dream,  
Be as strong as the seas are stormy,  
And proud as an eagle’s scree.

 _I will ride, I will fly,_  
Chase the wind and touch the sky,  
I will fly,  
Chase the wind and touch the sky.  
And touch the sky,   
Chase the wind, chase the wind,   
Touch the sky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Julie Fowlis - Touch the Sky


	18. Thunder Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologise profusely. My internet is the stingiest, moodiest...but I digress.  
> I believe I owe two chapters for this one. This one is brief but the following one is quite lengthy.  
> Shit is about to get real.

_ Vana _

The rain that plummeted down was hard and cold; like little pieces of rock being spat at us from the mountain itself. I could barely keep my eyes open as I made my way along the narrow path. The rock was slick from the rain and the abyss below was nothing but vast blackness. I tried to keep my eyes facing ahead, fixing them on the back of Kíli’s hood. My own hood was soaked through, the cold water seeping into my hair.   
“Hold on!” I heard Thorin shout from the front.   
As I stepped forward a loose rock skidded out from under my foot and I lost my balance, tumbling against the cliff side. Fíli’s hand on my back steadied me and Kíli whipped around at the noise. I nodded to him, indicating I was alright and we slowly continued along the path, Fíli’s hand never leaving my coat.  
A loud cry from Bilbo caused me to spin around. He was being pulled back from the edge by Bofur and Dwalin. I breathed a sigh of relief as they leant back against the cliff face.  
“We must find shelter!” Another shout came from Thorin.  
“Look out!” Dwalin’s warning echoed around us. I turned back to face the front and beheld something I never expected to see.  
“This is no thunder storm!” Balin shouted. “It’s a thunder battle! Look!”  
The jagged mountain opposite us seemed to come to life as a massive, man-like assortment of rocks lifted itself off the mountainside. It had an obvious head, arms and legs and it seemed to be lifting something from the ground.  
“Well bless me!” I heard Bofur exclaim. “The legends are true! Giants! Stone giants!”  
“TAKE COVER YOU FOOL!” Thorin turned to yell at Bofur, who was leaning dangerously far out over the cliff to see the figure.  
We could only watch as it launched a huge rock towards the cliff above our heads. It shattered against the cliff face, sending huge shards of rock raining down on our heads. I screamed as Fíli forced me against the cliff wall, covering my body with his. I heard him grunt in pain as a torrent of stones struck his head and back.   
“Are you alright?” I called to him.   
“Don’t worry about me, baby sister! My skull is thick!” He did his best to grin. I looked around at Kíli who was braced against the wall, his hands covering his head.  
“Kíli!” I called to him and he turned to face me as a huge crack sounded above our heads. To my horror, the crack formed in the path between Kíli’s legs and the rock began to shift, making the gap bigger. Instinctively, Kíli backed away, only to realise he was backing away from us.   
“Kíli!” I reached for him but Fíli pushed me behind him and quickly made his way to the edge.   
“Grab my hand!” He reached for his brother but he was already too far away. I could only watch in horror as Kíli and the others were dragged away.   
“We’re on one!” I heard a voice call behind us.  
“What?” I turned to find the source of the voice. It was Bombur, right at the back of the line.  
He gripped the rock face harder as he replied: “We’re on a giant!” He pointed up and we all looked towards the sky. Sure enough, two huge arms extended above us and a head turned towards its adversary. I realised that we were perched on what must have been its kneecap. The rock suddenly shifted violently as the giant took a step forward. I screamed and gripped at the rock face with one hand, the other hand grasping Fíli’s arm.   
“Hang on!” Dwalin shouted. Looking back towards the other half of the company, similarly clinging to a stone kneecap, I saw their leg stray towards a stationary piece of rock. As their leg collided with the rock face, they quickly leapt onto it and spun to face us. We braced ourselves once more as our leg swung forward past the rest of the company, who could only watch in fear. As our leg positioned itself on the ground again we saw the first giant swing its arm into our giant’s chest, making it reel back. As its torso leant backwards, its legs began to buckle forwards towards the jagged cliff face. I spotted a small indent in the rocks and gripped Fíli and Bofur’s hands.  
“Get ready to jump!” I yelled at the others. They nodded and grasped hands. I turned my attention forwards. “NOW!”   
Both Fíli and Bofur’s hands tightening around my mine, I leapt forward with all my strength.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli could only watch in fear as Vana and his brother were pulled away from him. Before he could even call out their names they were too far away to hear. He heard Thorin’s shouts from the front and was forced to tear his eyes away as Bifur yanked him forwards. Their leg had slammed into a rock face and they were making their way onto it. Being the last in the line, he managed to leap onto the rocks before their leg began to move again. Spinning around, he saw the other leg, with the rest of the company still on it, fly past them. He heard their shouts as the leg slammed to the ground until they were drowned out by the resounding crack as the first giant’s arm slammed into their giant’s face. With a colossal roar, the giant began to collapse, its leg plummeting dangerously close to the jagged rock face. With a thundering crash, the leg of the giant slammed into the mountainside, taking the company with it. He felt his heart fall into his stomach at the sight of Fíli and Vana crushed against the sharp rocks.  
“NO! Fíli!” Thorin shouted, his voice filled with agony as he sprinted forward around the rock face.

_ Vana _

“Fíli?”  
“Vana? You alright?”  
“Aye, you?”  
“Aye. Bombur? Bofur? Dwalin?”  
“Aye,” the answers all came and I managed to sit up as Thorin came hurtling around the rock face.   
“Fíli!” he breathed a sigh of relief and pulled his oldest nephew into his arms. Dwalin pulled me to my feet as the rest of the company came into view. Bifur hauled Bofur to his feet, embracing him quickly before turning to Bombur, who was having trouble getting up. Kíli was the last to arrive, his eyes wide with fear. With a wild gasp he pulled me into his arms.  
“I’m alright!” I breathed, almost as shocked as he was. “We’re alright.”  
“Where’s Bilbo?” Bofur suddenly asked. “Where’s the hobbit?”   
My chest tightened in fear as I couldn’t spot him; _Did he jump with us? Had he fallen?_  
“Here!” Ori dropped to the ground at the edge of the cliff face, where Bilbo was hanging on for dear life. Ori stretched as far as he could but he couldn’t reach the hobbit. Bofur, who was taller, tried but couldn’t get close enough either. With a groan, Thorin gripped the edge of the cliff and swung himself down to the hobbit. Grasping him by the back of his pack, he hauled Bilbo up into Ori and Bofur’s arms before reaching to pull himself up; only to suddenly drop with a yell. Dwalin’s hand instantly reached out and grabbed Thorin’s, hauling him back up to everyone’s relief.   
“I thought we’d lost our burglar,” Dwalin said gruffly, looking down at Bilbo who was breathing heavily and leaning against the rock.   
“He’s been lost ever since he left home!” Thorin almost shouted, glaring furiously at the hobbit. Bilbo gulped and looked away from him, still trying to control his breathing.   
“He should never have come. He has no place amongst us,” Thorin grunted, calling for Dwalin to inspect an opening in the cave. I frowned at his back as he went, debating whether or not to confront him. Kíli caught my eye and shook his head, reading my mind.   
“Don’t bother, he’d only shout at you too,” he said, never taking his arms from around me. The rain was still beating down heavily on us and I let Kíli lead me towards the cave Thorin had entered.   
“This looks safe enough,” Dwalin said to Thorin.   
“We’ll stay here tonight,” Thorin ordered. “Dwalin, search the back. Caves in the mountain are seldom unoccupied.”   
Dwalin gripped his axe in one hand and a freshly lit lantern in the other and walked further into the cave. He only made it about thirty feet before he came to solid rock.   
“There’s nothing here,” he called softly back to Thorin. Glóin, meanwhile had delved into his pack for some dry wood he always kept for emergencies.   
“Right then, let’s get a fire started.”  
“No,” Thorin shook his head at him before glancing around the cave. “No fires, not in this place. Get some sleep, we start at first light.”  
“We were to wait in the mountain until Gandalf joined us,” Balin reminded him. “That was the plan.”  
“Plans change,” he stated, before laying his cloak on the ground and unrolling his bedroll. “Bofur, you take the first watch.”  
Bofur responded only with a disappointed nod.   
I settled in between Fíli and Kíli, as usual, laying my cloak flat on the rocks to dry out. I kept my coat on, shivering from the lack of warmth in the cave. The wind from outside blew in through the opening, even as the storm died down, and the sound of the rain hitting the rock outside along with the darkness of the cave just made me even more aware of the cold.   
The brothers were soon falling asleep, exhausted from the climb and the entire night’s events. I listened to the rain outside for a while, along with the muttered conversations of a few other members of the Company. I glanced over at Thorin, who appeared to be asleep though I suspected this wasn’t the case. Bombur’s soft snores began to echo through the cave, causing Bilbo, who was next to him, to turn away. Through the dim light of the cave I could just about make out his troubled face. I gently dislodged myself from Kíli’s arms and made my way over to him.   
“Bilbo?” I whispered, making him sit up, squinting into the darkness.   
“Vana? Is that you?”  
“No, it’s the other woman in the company,” I chuckled. “I just wanted to check you’re alright?”  
“Yes, I…I’m fine…” Bilbo’s voice seemed to teeter into silence.   
“About what Thorin said,” I whispered as softly as I could. “He didn’t mean it. He often says things he doesn’t mean when he’s angry. He’ll almost never say it, but he is sorry afterwards.”  
“I don’t think he’s sorry,” Bilbo replied. “He wasn’t exactly keen on me coming in the first place. I think he meant everything he said, and for good reason.”  
“No, Bilbo,” I gripped his arm. “He’s angry, cold and tired. As we all are. Just get some sleep okay? Everything will look better in the morning.” I smiled as Dis’ voice echoed in my head.   
Bilbo nodded and settled back down as I made my way back to my space between the two brothers, who were now snoring away. I shuffled down in between them and smiled as Kíli shuffled closer to me, wrapping his arm back around my waist. His hair was still damp and his clothes were a little musky from the rain and the travelling of the last few days, but he was still incredibly warm and I closed my eyes to think back to the nights we spent together in Rivendell, which suddenly seemed so long ago.

“Wake up!”  
Thorin’s deep voice woke me far too sharply from my slumber. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up and trying to adjust my eyes to the dim light of into the cave. The sound of running water reached my ears and I frowned as I glanced around me. _Was it still raining?_ It wasn’t until my eyes reached the floor that I realised it wasn’t water, but sand running in between newly formed cracks on the cave floor. I just about managed to frown in confusion as the floor tilted and sent us sliding into the darkness below.


	19. Goblins! Goblins Everywhere!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT NOTE for violence, descriptions of bloody injuries and sadistic language.

_ Vana _

The adrenaline coursing through my veins put all of my senses on full alert and I shrieked as my body was thrown against the rocks. We spiralled downwards, sliding and rolling over the rock until we were dropped into a metal duct; I was lucky enough to land on top of Fíli, and unlucky enough for Kíli to land right on top of me. Bombur, of course, was the last to land and caused the rest of the company to groan in pain.   
“Are you alright?” I heard Kíli say in my ear, his voice laced with worry.   
“What in the name of Durin just happened?” I gasped as Kíli attempted to shuffle off of me. I realised as I looked down into Fíli’s eyes that the two of us were in a slightly compromising position. The two of us averted our eyes but any type of awkward response was drowned out by a sudden onslaught of unearthly screeches. I saw Fíli’s eyes widen in terror.   
“Look out!” Dori shouted but before I could look around, gnarly fingers and sharp claws were tugging at me, hauling me away from Fíli. I cried out as they tugged at my coat and my belt. I instinctively reached for my knives but I had taken them off to sleep, along with my sword and quiver. I cursed and pulled the hands off of me but they were only replaced by more. I caught sight of the creatures that were pulling us all to our feet to start shuffling us along and recoiled.   
_Goblins!_  
They were everywhere, climbing on top of us, milling around us to crowd us all together, even crawling under our legs. They seemed to be coming from everywhere, clambering over the rock above our heads and beneath our feet as they ushered us over crudely built wooden paths and bridges overlooking vast chasms of darkness. I found Kíli in front of me, looking over his shoulder as he desperately tried to free himself from the creatures’ foul claws.   
“Stay behind me!” He said as loudly as he dared and I grabbed the back of his coat. I jumped as I felt two hands lock over my waist but when I turned it was Fíli.   
“Try to stay hidden!” He hissed and I ducked my head, trying not to attract attention. I had heard many things about how goblins treated female prisoners; none of them good. I shied away from their grappling fingers, trying to keep them from touching my chest. I felt something warm and furry press onto my head and I turned to see Bofur beside me, nodding encouragingly, his head no longer sporting his large fluffy hat.  
The cavern suddenly filled with sharp metal clanging and the tuneless screeches of goblin trumpets. Looking up, we could see that the goblins were striking up a loud tune on their crude instruments – and I say tune in the loosest sense of the word, because this noise was deafening and torturous. Even Bifur, who I knew to have no ear for music, clapped his hands over his ears and we all gritted our teeth at the atrocious sounds echoing around the cavern.   
“Hmm,” A thunderous voice sounded over the metallic cacophony. “I feel a song coming on!”  
At the end of the wooden path I could see a throne of bones and rotting wood and upon it sat the most repulsive creature I had ever seen. His chin hung loosely over his chest, the skin wobbling as he nodded his head from side to side, apparently ‘in time’ to the ‘tune’. He wore no clothes except over his crotch – thank Mahal - which was covered only by a dank material that needed changing years ago. His skin was pale and clammy and covered in pock marks and boils. He clearly had seen no sunlight possibly ever. In his hand he held an obscene sceptre made of bones and topped with a ram’s skull and he waved it wildly in the air as he began to shout:

 _Clap snap, the black crack_  
Grip, grab, pinch, and nab  
Batter and beat  
Make ‘em stammer and squeak!  
Pound pound, far underground  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!  
  
With a swish and smack  
And a whip and a crack  
Everybody talks when they’re on my rack!  
Pound pound, far underground  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!  
  
Hammer and tongs, get out your knockers and gongs  
You won’t last long on the end of my prongs!  
Clash, crash, crush and smash!  
Bang, break, shiver and shake!  
  
You can yammer and yelp  
But there ain’t no help  
Pound pound, far underground  
Down, down, down in Goblin Town!

We were all crowded together in front of this horrific compilation of skin and fat and I stifled a retch at the smell of him. The dwarves all crowded around me, trying to keep me in the middle. Fíli reached over my shoulders from behind me and pulled the hat further down over my face. It was almost covering my eyes, but I didn’t dare move it. I stayed as still as possible, trying to steady my breathing. Kíli stood as tall and straight as he could and I shrank behind him, never releasing my grip on the back of his coat. Thorin and Bifur stood to my left,Ori and Nori to my right.   
“Just stay quiet,” Fíli whispered in my ear. “We won’t let anything happen to you.” I managed to nod, but my legs were shaking so much I could barely stand.   
“Catchy isn’t it?” The huge goblin said, sitting back on his throne. I saw at the foot of it were a pile of smaller goblins he was using as a footstool. “It’s one of my own compositions.”  
“That’s not a song!” Balin called from somewhere behind me. “It’s an abomination!” The rest of the Company all roared in agreement.   
“Abominations!” The goblin bellowed over them. “Mutations, deviations! That’s all you’re going to find down here!”   
Some of the goblins stepped in front of us to throw the weapons that had fallen with us into the cavern down at our feet. The great goblin was suddenly on his feet again, peering at all of us with a hungry look in his eye. I determinedly kept my eyes fixed to the ground.  
“Who would be so _bold_ as to come _armed_ into _my_ kingdom?” He asked, raising his voice more on each word. “Spies? Thieves? Assassins?!”  
“Dwarves your Malevolence,” one of the cronies rasped.  
“Dwarves?” He deliberately elongated the word as he peered closed at each one of us.  
“Found ‘em on the front porch!”  
“Well don’t just stand there!” He waved his hand over us. “Search them! Every crack! Every crevice!”  
The hands were back, groping and grabbing everywhere they could. The dwarves pressed closer to me, Kíli in particular trying to block me from their sight and grips alike. He stood uncharacteristically still as they searched him, glaring up at the goblin king. I dodged as many of the hands as I could, gasping as a warped hand locked around my braid and tugged hard. One goblin snatched Oin’s ear trumpet and flattened it under his foot. Another emptied Nori’s pack onto the floor, sifting through the various objects that tumbled out – objects he had clearly stolen from Rivendell.   
“It is my belief, your great Protruberence, that they are in league with Elves!” the goblin brandished an expensive looking candlestick up at the goblin king. He snatched it up, peering at it.   
“Made in Rivendell?” He remarked. “Hmph, Second Age. Couldn’t give it away.” With that he tossed it into the abyss below. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dori turn to glare at his brother.  
“Just a couple of keepsakes,” Nori shrugged innocently.  
“What are you doing in these parts?” The goblin king barked. No one answered at first, until, with a sigh, Thorin began to step forward. He was halted by Oin’s hand on his shoulder and the healer stepped deliberately in front of the leader.   
“Don’t worry lads,” he said loudly. “I’ll handle this!” He bent down to retrieve his ear trumpet and faced the goblin king confidently.   
“No tricks!” The goblin king sat back down. “I want the truth, warts and all.”  
“You’re going to have to speak up!” Oin shouted, brandishing his flattened trumpet. “Your boys flattened my trumpet!”  
“I’ll flatten more than your trumpet!” The goblin leapt to his feet and began to march towards Oin.   
“If it’s more information you’re wanting!” Bofur shouted over the noise of protesting goblins and dwarves as he shoved Ori nearer to me and made his way to the front. “I’m the one you should speak to!”  
The goblin stilled and looked at Bofur expectantly. The dwarf’s eyes widened as he frantically searched for words.   
_Think faster!_ I wanted to shout.  
“Eh…we were on the road!” He began. “Well, it’s not so much a road as a path. Actually it’s not even that, it’s more of a track.”  
The goblin king was visibly and audibly groaning.   
“Anyway,” he continued. “We were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren’t, which is a problem because…we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday!” He turned to Dori for help.   
“Visiting distant relations!” the grey-haired dwarf offered to which Bofur nodded.   
“Some inbreds on me mother’s side -”  
“SHUT UP!” The goblin king roared, slamming his sceptre on the ground and causing the other goblins to let out a flurry of high-pitched squeals. Bofur ducked his head.   
“Very well!” The goblin king pointed at us. “If they will not talk, we’ll make them _squawk!_ Bring up the mangler! Bring up the bone breaker!” He then pointed to us. “Start with the youngest.”   
I felt Ori start to shake and reached out to grip his arm. He looked around at me his face pale with fear.   
“WAIT!” Thorin yelled out, stepping in front of Kíli and Ori, glaring up at the goblin king, who started to chuckle.   
“Well, well, well! Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thráin, son of Thrór, King Under The Mountain!” He gave a low, mocking bow, making Thorin bristle.  
“Oh!” the great goblin stood back up. “But I’m forgetting you don’t have a mountain! And you’re not a king, which makes you…nobody really.” He smirked.  
I felt Kíli stiffen and I could imagine his face was rigid with anger. Fíli’s grip on my arms had tightened as well. The goblin king continued to smirk as he pointed a finger in Thorin’s face.   
“I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just the head, that is. Nothing attached.”   
The goblins around us began to snicker and Bofur cast a disgusted look back at them.   
“Perhaps you know of whom I speak?” The goblin king continued. “An old enemy of yours? A pale orc astride a white warg?” I froze at his words, and many of the company exchanged confused and worried looks.  
 _A pale figure, twice the height of a dwarf. '  
_ _The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin.’  
_ _Could it be?  
_ Thorin’s fists clenched at his sides as he spat out in a harsh and quiet voice:  
“Azog the Defiler was _destroyed_. He was slain in battle long ago!”  
“So you think his defiling days are done, do you?” The goblin king chuckled before turning to a particularly disgusting looking goblin, with a tiny body and long, spindly limbs harnessed to a wire. “Send word to the Pale Orc, tell him I have found his prize.” 

The tiny messenger scribbled the message on a piece of parchment before giggling cruelly and pulling on a small chain that sent him soaring away down the wire.  
I watched him go, suddenly shivering with fear.   
“While we’re waiting,” The goblin king turned back to us. “There’s no reason we can’t enjoy ourselves.” He smirked, peering at each one of us. Without realising, I turned to look at him and his dark eyes locked with mine, making my heart hammer in my chest. He stared at me for a moment, his smirk becoming a disgusting leer. “That one! With the hat! Bring it forward!”   
“No!” I breathed, trying to shy away from the hands that reached over the dwarves to grab at me.   
Fíli and Kíli roared in fury as they tore the goblins’ arms away from me but every arm they repelled was only replaced by two more.  
“Get away!” Ori bravely tried to shove the goblins away but received only a sharp punch in the face. As he fell back, one of the goblins darted past him and grabbed the back of my neck, ripping the hat off my head. I shrieked as its claws scraped my scalp and struggled as violently as I could as it hauled me out of the crowd. The entire company yelled in protest but they were outnumbered ten-to-one easily and before long each one was being restrained by as many goblins as could reach them.  
One goblin leapt onto my front, locking its legs around my waist as it ripped the ties of my coat and pushed it off of my shoulders. I gritted my teeth and rammed my forehead into its face, causing it to screech and fall back, but my arms were forced back as two more goblins behind me yanked my coat off of my arms and tossed it aside. They held my arms out to the side and I cried out as a blunt force hit the small of my back and I was forced to my knees. A hand grabbed the back of my hair and yanked hard, pulling my face up to look at the goblin king who was practically dancing with excitement.  
“A female!” He cried gleefully. “We are _definitely_ in for a fun day!” I grimaced as the stench of his breath hit my nostrils.   
“Take yer hands off her!” I heard Dwalin yell.   
“Don’t touch her!” I turned my head to catch a glimpse of Kíli struggling aggressively against the six goblins holding him, roaring in frustration.   
“ _I’m_ not going to touch her!” The goblin king sneered. “Boys! Let’s see exactly what the dwarves have given us!”   
The goblins leapt at me, forcing me back onto the sharp, wooden floor, pinning my arms and legs. My mind flashed like lightening with memories and nightmares and before I could stop myself, tears were pouring down my face. I screamed as their claws scrabbled at my neck, pulling the buttons of my tunic and tugging the material, ripping it to shreds. One goblin pounced onto my chest brandishing a rough dagger and made quick work of cutting away the front of my tunic. It was shoved away by another overexcited goblin who tugged the material away, leaving me only in my shirt.   
As I struggled in their menacing grip, I could hear the cries of protest from behind me.  
“Let her go, you bastards!”  
“You’re hurting her!”  
“Take your hands off her!”  
“Monsters!”   
“Beasts!”   
“Leave her alone!”   
“STOP!” Kíli’s voice was the loudest as he tried to storm forward, only to be knocked to the ground by more of the goblins. “Let her go! Take me!”  
“Kíli!” I shrieked at his outburst. _Not Kíli! Don’t hurt Kíli!_     
I tried to twist around to see him but the goblins were massing and now they were working on my shirt. One knife cut my shirt open clean down the middle and I hissed as the air hit my exposed chest and before I could so much as blink the knife had ripped its way through my breast band and it was gone. I screamed and instinctively tried to cover my naked chest and I heard the dwarves all roar in fury.   
“ENOUGH!” The goblin king’s order surpassed everyone, even Dwalin, in volume. “Bring her forward!”  
My arms were ripped from my chest and I felt horrifically exposed as the goblins dragged me upright so I was kneeling before the goblin. I kept my head down, trying to stop the tears that were still pouring hotly down my face. I flinched as one of the goblin king’s fingers traced my cheek. His skin was rough and sweaty and he stank of death and decay.   
“DON’T TOUCH HER!” Kíli screamed. The goblin king only laughed and the goblins holding me pulled my hair sharply back so my head was tilted upwards.  
“She’s no longer yours, dwarf!” He paused to run his finger down between my breasts and lean closer to me. “Your _ours_!”  
_Your ours now!_  
Ours!  
The words made my vision turn red and before I knew what was happening I leant my head back before spitting in the goblin king’s eye. He jerked back and I yanked my arms forward with a new found strength, releasing as loud and fierce a battle cry as I could. The goblins holding me were knocked off balance and as soon as my arms were back in my control I clenched my fists and began to fight. I punched and kicked and headbutted; I threw smaller goblins over the edge. I fought and swore and roared until a sharp crack filled the air and a blinding pain laced across my back. I fell forward with a cry, wincing as the bruises and cuts on my knuckles burned from supporting my weight. The crack sounded again and the pain was back, forcing another cry of agony from my throat. I turned to see the goblin behind me, holding a large leather whip. He raised it above his head and I instinctively buried my head in my arms as the whip sliced my back again. I gritted my teeth, determined not to cry out again.  
“NO!”  
“VANA!”  
“STOP!”  
The dwarves were struggling furiously in the grips of their captors, calling out for me and screaming obscenities at the goblins. Five more lashes later, the goblin king lowered the whip and I was fighting to remain conscious.  
“Vana!” Kíli’s voice was shaking as he called my name. “Vana! Speak to me!”   
I let out a gasp of pain and tried to raise my head to look at him. I needed to see his face. I needed to make sure he was alright. A sharp, stabbing pain ran down my spine as I leant on my arm and I groaned audibly.   
I was suddenly acutely aware of the hot, thick blood running down my back.   
“Boys!” The king shouted, making me cringe. “Our new pet is tired! Shall we try out some of the others?”   
His question was met with a resounding cheer from the goblins and they began to poke and prod at the dwarves, teasing them and provoking them into lashing out.   
“Kíli…” my voice was hoarse and weak but I forced my eyes open and they found him struggling out of the grips of the horrible creatures. My instincts were to get to him, but my body was burning and it took all of my efforts to reach an arm out to him. Kíli saw my feeble attempts to reach him and tried to push his way over to me but the goblins massed around him, cackling insanely.  
“Vana!” he cried desperately, reaching past the goblins and extending his arm towards me. His eyes were brimming with furious tears.   
Behind us, the goblin king was dancing as his minions dragged the torture instruments in our direction.

 _“Bones will be shattered! Necks will be wrung!_  
_You’ll be beaten and battered, from racks you’ll be hung!_  
You will die down here and never be found!   
Down in the deep of Goblin town!”  
  
As he was chanting I managed to turn my head to the side and spot my discarded shirt. With a groan I willed my body to move forwards, dragging myself over to it. Gripping the material to my front, I managed to force myself into a sitting position and wrap the material around me, gripping the front of my shirt shut with one hand whilst attempting to manoeuvre my hands into the sleeves. I jumped as a goblin appeared in front of me and hissed in my face.  
“Go ahead, little whore!” he goaded me, smirking cruelly. “Once your companions are dead we’ll take it right off again. You scream so prettily.”  
I recoiled, wincing as the action made my back scream in pain. Then I heard a clang of metal behind me followed by a shrill cry and I turned to see one of the goblins dropping Thorin’s sword, having pulled the blade partly out of the sheath. The rest of the goblins stared in horror at the blade and the goblin king stumbled backwards.  
“I know that sword! It is the goblin-cleaver!”   
The goblins snarled and leapt towards the dwarves, beating them down and whipping them with chains and whips. I yelled as goblins pounced heavily onto my back, screaming as the pain tore threw me once more.   
“The Biter!” The goblin king continued to shout. “The blade that sliced a thousand necks! Slash them! Beat them! Kill them! Kill them all!”  
“KÍLI!” I screamed desperately, my eyes darting around for any glimpse of him. All I could see were the black claws, pointed teeth, fiery eyes and gnarled limbs that tore at what little clothing I had left.   
“Cut off his head!” The goblin king gave a final yell before a white light exploded out of the darkness and the goblins were torn off of me.

I lay in a daze, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain in my back, anchoring me to the floor. My hand still clenched the material of my shirt shut and with my other hand I blindly reached out across the floor, my hand coming into contact with a familiar object. I opened my eyes, slowly adjusting to the change in light and found my sword, Ringil, within my grasp.   
“Take up arms,” a familiar voice sounded from above me and I looked up to see a familiar tall pointed hat.  
“Gandalf?” I gasped.  
“Fight,” he said softly. “Fight!” With a final shout he swung his staff and knocked the goblins that had gathered around me away. The dwarves released a flurry of war cries and tore the goblins off of them, rushing to the pile of weapons next to me. Gandalf stood in front of me and presented the top of his staff to me. I released my shirt to grip it, my other hand holding onto Ringil. He pulled me to my feet and I hurriedly drew Ringil from its sheath, wincing at the sharp pains in my back.   
The dwarves began to pass the weapons to each other, taking down any goblins that managed to reach them. Gandalf charged into a throng, cutting down goblin after goblin. The goblin king pointed at him in horror:   
“He wields the Foehammer! The Beater! Bright as daylight!”   
“Vana!” Dwalin’s arms locked around me as he pulled me behind the dwarves. “Yeh with us lass?”   
I nodded, trying to keep my head from spinning.   
“I – I’m fine.” I managed to stutter out before the goblins charged us. With a ferocious roar, Dwalin swung his axes into the approaching dwarves and I gripped Ringil tighter. A goblin leapt at me from my left and I slashed him across the chest but the movement jarred my back badly, making my cry out in pain.  
“Vana!” I heard Kíli’s voice but I couldn’t see him. I kept Ringil held in front of me, willing myself not to pass out.  
I heard Nori call Thorin’s name as he retrieved Orcrist from the ground and tossed it to Thorin who used it block the goblin king’s swing of his sceptre, jarring him so much that he fell back off of the wooden platform and down into the cavern. As he watched, I saw another goblin approach from behind him. Gritting my teeth, I charged forward, piercing the goblin through the chest and roaring with pain as I wrenched it out, the anguish making my legs give way. Thorin caught me as I fell forwards, dragging me away from the oncoming goblins. The company and Gandalf continued to beat them back and through my half-open eyes I managed to spot Kíli catching his sword, tossed to him by his brother, and stabbing an oncoming goblin.   
“Kíli!” Thorin called out to him, holding me upright as I tried to regain my feet. His nephew turned and sprinted towards him.   
“Guard her,” Thorin said simply, gently pushing me towards him. “Do not let her fall behind!”  
“Follow me!” Gandalf shouted, turning to run down one of the wooden walkways. Thorin followed, along with Fíli and Balin and Kíli pulled me along with him, one arm locked around my waist while the other gripped his sword.   
“Vana!”   
“Kíli…” I managed to say weakly.   
“Vana, it’s alright. Just stay with me. _Do not let go of me!_ ”   
I forced myself to try and match his speed, grunting in pain as my back burned. I willed my legs to move with his.   
“I’m right behind you lass!” I heard Dwalin call and I felt his hand on my shoulder, urging me forward.

The walkways were narrow and unstable and I clung to Kíli as we ran. Goblins were massing from all directions; running along the walkway behind us and towards us, climbing down the walls, climbing up the supports. When I could, I slashed and stabbed with Ringil, taking down any goblin that got too close.  
I heard Thorin yell for his men to cut the ropes and Dwalin sprinted past us to help; soon the walkway above ours was falling sideways down into the cavern, taking the goblins on it down with it.   
Kíli suddenly shoved me behind him as a dozen goblin archers appeared in front of us, bursting up through the walkway, causing some of the wood to crumble and a gap to form between us and Dwalin. They fired at him and he repelled their arrows with his sword. I glanced around desperately and spotted a ladder which I grabbed and tried to lift. Bifur appeared next to me and helped me lift the ladder over Kíli’s head and slam it down lengthways onto the goblins, trapping them between the rungs. Kíli grabbed the other side and Bofur and I ran behind, Bofur clutching my arm to keep me steady. Kíli and Bifur shoved the goblins towards the gap, forcing them down into their own chasm before dropping the ladder so it formed a bridge between the two pathways. Dwalin pinned the other side with his foot and waved the rest of us across before kicking it into the chasm, taking a few goblins down with it. Kíli’s arm locked around me again and we kept running.  
We ended up on a piece of walkway which had broken off halfway down, leaving a giant gap in the middle. Thorin sprinted behind us to slash one of the ropes, causing it to swing down towards the next walkway.   
“Jump!” He yelled at us and Kíli wrapped his arms around me as we leapt, landing heavily on the other side, along with Dori and Ori. I cried out as my back jarred and Kíli pulled me to my feet.   
“Just hang on, love.” He said, watching as the walkway swung back the way it came, allowing more goblins to leap onto it. The remaining company sprinted away as it swung back towards us and leapt off, Fíli slashing the ropes that held it up as he leapt off last, only just making it. Thorin grabbed his arm to pull him away from the edge and we continued on down.  
The goblins’ numbers seemed to grow incessantly as they came from all directions and we slashed and stabbed and kicked as best we could. Four or five of the creatures leapt onto Bombur and he slammed himself down through many layers of the walkways in a desperate attempt to get them off. He managed to fight his way back to us and I saw Gandalf in the front slam his staff into the rock above our heads, causing a section of it to break off and roll down the walkway in front of us, flattening any goblins in its path until we reached a corner and it fell into the darkness. We rounded the corner and sprinted across a bridge.   
There was an explosion of wood in front of us as the goblin king suddenly burst up through the bridge, causing the dwarves in front to fall backwards in horror. Even Gandalf took a step back as the Goblin stood to its full height. We huddled together as the rest of the goblins surrounded us, closing us in.   
“You thought you could escape me?” The goblin king said satirically, slashing at Gandalf with his sceptre. He fell back, only to be caught by Ori and Nori who shoved him upright again.   
“What are you going to do now wizard?” The Goblin asked with a mocking smirk. With a snarl Gandalf jabbed his staff upwards into the Goblin’s eye, making him squeal in pain, before slashing him across the stomach. He collapsed onto his knees, looking at the wizard with nothing but shock on his face.   
“That’ll do it,” he muttered, before Gandalf slashed his throat with a final swing of his Foehammer. The Goblin fell dead with such force that the walkway beneath our feet creaked in protest before breaking off and sliding down the rock face towards the chasm. The dwarves yelled in fear as the darkness approached and Kíli wrapped his arms around me.   
“Hold on to me!” He shouted as we slid into the darkness. As we fell the wood scraped against the rock, breaking our fall slightly and when we hit the ground it was only with a few more scrapes and bruises. It was only as I finally lay still that I realised my back felt as if it was on fire; pain seeping into the muscles and bones. I groaned aloud and Kíli relaxed his hold on me.   
“You alright lass?” Dwalin’s voice was soft in my ear. I nodded, grimacing as even that simple action caused me gasp in pain.   
“Well, that could have been worse.” Bofur piped up. Not a moment later there was a deafening crash and my vision went black.

I could not have been out for more than a few moments. I could hear the dwarves groaning in pain, hear Dwalin’s angry grunt of “Yeh’ve got to be joking!” I could feel Kíli shuffle next to me as he tried to wriggle out of the wood.   
All I saw was white. All I felt was the raging fire in my back. The only sound I could make was a scream of pure, unbridled agony.

_ Kíli  _

_You had to say it didn’t you Bofur?_ Kíli thought to himself as the Goblin King’s body landed on top of them, trapping him beneath layers of wood.  
“Yeh’ve got to be joking!” Dwalin grunted next to him. He was on his back and could see Fíli in front of him, trapped under his legs so he began to shuffle himself out of the wood.  
Then he heard a deafening scream. He turned to see Vana, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth open in a wordless shriek of pain.   
“Dwalin! Help me!” he cried as he wriggled out of the wood and onto his knees, gripping Vana under her arms. Dwalin took hold of her legs and together they pulled her out from under the wood. This action only caused her to scream again as her back dragged against the splintered wood. The other dwarves scrambled out of the wreckage to find the source of the noise, gathering around as Kíli and Dwalin tried to help her to her feet. She was mad with pain now, wrenching out of Kíli’s grasp, hot tears pouring down her face.  
“Vana, please, you have to get up!” Kíli pleaded, trying to cradle her face, trying to get her to look at him.   
“Gandalf!” Thorin looked up at the wizard who was gazing down at her with sadness. “You must do something!”   
“Gandalf!” Fíli suddenly yelled, pointing above them. Kíli turned his head upwards to see what appeared to be the entire kingdom of goblins descending the rocks towards them.  
“There’s too many!” Dwalin shouted. “We can’t fight them!”  
“Only one thing will save us!” Gandalf pointed down the cavern with his staff. “Daylight! Fly!” He began to usher the dwarves past him. Kíli turned desperately back to Vana who was whimpering next to him, her eyes shut tight against her agony.   
“Vana, please! We have to go!” He tried to haul her to her feet but her hand on his arm stilled him.  
“Le – leave me –“ She moaned, and he realised she was trying to push his arms away.   
“No!” Dwalin cried sharply, grabbing Vana around the waist and hauling her onto his shoulder, causing her to scream again. “I’m not leavin’ my daughter to a mountain of goblins!” With a new-found strength, he sprinted down the corridor towards the rest of the dwarves who were watching this whole scene with fear. Kíli found himself unable to move until his brother’s grip on his arm forced him forward. He followed him through the rocks though he barely felt his legs moving.  
_Did she just ask me to leave her?_


	20. Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vana's injuries are tended. CONTENT NOTE: descriptions of bloody injuries.

_ Kíli  _

The wizard led them true and within minutes they were out in the sweet freedom of daylight. Even as they ran down the mountainside, Kíli took a deep breath of air that no longer stank of death and decay and all things goblin. He spotted Dwalin ahead of him, running with an apparently unconscious Vana over his shoulder and forced his legs to move faster as he darted between trees and rocks, his brother close on his heels.  
They ran further down the mountainside, Gandalf sprinting ahead of them before turning back to make a head count:  
“…five, six, seven, Dwalin and Vana, Bifur, Bofur, that’s eleven. Fíli, Kíli , and Bombur, that makes fourteen.”  
They all paused for breath, Bombur collapsing onto a nearby rock. Fíli and Kíli immediately went to Dwalin’s side as he made his way to a boulder and gently knelt down. Together they picked Vana up off of his shoulder, discovering to Kíli’s relief that she was not unconscious, and eased her into a sitting position on the boulder. She let out a gasp of pain and gripped Dwalin’s shoulders. Her shirt, Kíli had just noticed, was hanging open, exposing her front and Dwalin gently held the material together between his huge fingers.  
“Yer alright lass,” he said softly, letting her rest her head against his large forehead. “It’s all over now.”   
“Kíli,” Fíli whispered to his brother, looking at her back. Kíli leant sideways and immediately froze at the sight: the material of her shirt was stained dark red and he could see where there was some exposed skin on the small of her back, the skin was caked with drying blood.   
He looked up at his brother, his expression dark as he bit back the storm that was threatening to burst out of him if he couldn’t calm down. Fíli turned and called for Óin and Gandalf.   
“You have to help her! She’s in a lot of pain!”   
“What did they do to her?” Gandalf asked angrily.   
“They whipped her,” Kíli responded, his voice hard. “They tortured her! They were -” he cut himself off at a warning look from his brother. He moved forward to look at Vana but she was still leaning against Dwalin, her eyes closed and her breathing heavy.   
“She’s in shock,” Óin said as he knelt next to her, lightly laying a hand on her shoulder. She flinched and groaned as the action jarred her back slightly.  
“Lass, it’s Óin,” the healer said in his friendly, bedside voice. “I need to take a look at your back, is that alright?”  
She gritted her teeth and nodded.   
“I’ll need to remove your shirt,” he pointed out.  
Her jaw clenched and her face turned red but she nodded once more and let her arms fall from Dwalin’s shoulders.   
“Here,” Kíli removed his coat and held it up. Dwalin moved to the side slightly so Kíli could kneel in front of her and she clutched his coat to her bare chest as Óin and Gandalf gently pulled her shirt from her back. She let out soft cries of pain as the material stuck to her back and the cold air hit her broken skin. Kíli determinedly did not look at her back, knowing if he did he would snap. He forced himself to keep his eyes on her face; her eyes were squeezed shut, her jaw clenched.   
“Vana?” Kíli said softly. “Look at me.” She opened her eyes and they slowly found his. Her expression seemed to soften slightly and he smiled as he focused on the green of her eyes.  
“It’ll all be over soon. Just keep looking at me. Óin and Gandalf will heal you and it won’t hurt any more. Keep looking at me, and when the sun goes down we can look at the stars.”  
A small smile crept on to her face and he leant forward to rest his forehead against hers. She winced as Óin gently touched her back and he reached a hand into her hair as she pressed her face into his neck.   
“Just think of the stars,” he whispered in her ear, trying desperately to think of things to distract her. “Think of the stars we saw in Rivendell, and the music you played. You were so beautiful that night. You shone so brightly I thought you could be a star sent to the earth.”   
He closed his eyes as he held her, willing himself not to look at her injuries. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt.   
“Kíli,” her voice was weak and muffled against his neck. “It hurts…”  
Kíli felt his heart break as he pressed a soft kiss to her neck. “I know, but it’s almost over. Vana, I love you.” He took a shuddering breath as it hit him how close he had come to losing her. “I love you so much.”

_ Dwalin _

He let the young prince comfort her, though he now felt utterly useless, and as he caught sight of her back he could have vomited right there. He had seen many horrific injuries in battle; he had watched his king lose his head, his father be hunted and butchered along with his friends like animals; he had seen severed limbs, spilled innards and enough blood to drown him a thousand times over, but when he saw his adopted daughter’s flayed skin, he had never wanted to un-see something more in his two centuries of living.   
Where it hadn’t been broken, her skin was red with inflammation; eight long scars stretched down her back, four extending from beneath her right shoulder to her left hip, one stretching from her neck half way down her back and the remaining three from the left side of her waist to the small of her back, forming angry crosses with the first scars. Two of them were bleeding quite profusely while the rest were filled with ugly, dark red clots where the blood had pooled.   
He covered his mouth with one of his large armoured hands, stifling a groan of…he didn’t know if it was disgust or despair or both. He felt a hand grasp his shoulder and turned to see Thorin, looking from him to Vana, his face hard as he tried to disguise his anger.  
“These will need stitches,” Óin said quietly, indicating the bleeding scars. “But I don’t have my needles and threads. The goblins took my medical pack.”  
Dwalin made a silent vow to eviscerate every single goblin that crossed his path from then on.   
“Can yeh not do something?” he addressed the wizard. Gandalf shook his head slightly and passed a hand over his face.   
“I can use a spell to knit the skin together, but it won’t last if she has to run again, which she will. And if we don’t clean the wounds it could cause an infection.”  
“I can clean them,” in said, reaching into the inside pockets of his coat and pulled out three small vials of crushed herbs. “I put these in here for emergencies, It’s lucky the goblin searching me got distracted by my ear trumpet. I just need a cloth and some water.”   
Fíli immediately handed over his water skin and Nori reached into his pocket and pulled out a delicately embroidered towel.   
“Another keepsake from Rivendell,” he admitted, handing it to Dwalin who passed it to Óin.   
“I think,” Dori stepped up to his younger brother, patting him on the shoulder. “This is the first time I’ve ever been grateful for your bad habits.” Nori smiled and nodded in response.   
“Can I help in any way?” Fíli stepped up next to Óin.   
“I think you’d better let Óin work,” Thorin said softly to his nephew.    
“Actually, laddie, could you hold these?” He handed the vials to Fíli before unscrewing the lid of his waterskin and pouring it over the cloth.  
Dwalin glanced back to Vana and saw that Kíli’s hand was in her hair. He immediately felt the urge to cut the lad’s hand off for such vulgarity but fought it as he saw Vana shake as she cried into his shirt. Kíli whispered something in her ear and she seemed to calm down.   
“This will sting lass,” Óin said before pressing the cloth against the wounds. Vana immediately let out a cry of pain, her hands gripping Kíli’s arms furiously. The coat slipped from her chest and Thorin and the rest of the Company averted their eyes. Dwalin, however, watched as Kíli immediately took the coat in his hands and held it back up to her front, tucking it in at her waist. She removed one of her hands from his shoulder and held the coat, smiling gratefully at the prince before wincing as Óin pressed the cloth to her back again.

The once white, pristine elven cloth was now stained red, but the dried blood was now gone from her skin and the scars were not bleeding as much anymore.   
“Right lad,” Óin turned to Fíli, “Pass me the vial in your left hand and take the cloth.”   
Fíli did as he was told and Óin popped the lid of the vial off with his thumb before pouring some the herbs into the palm of his hand. He took a pinch of his between his thumb and first finger.   
“I have to put these in the wounds lass. It’ll soak up any remaining blood and hopefully stop it from bleeding too much. It won’t be pleasant.”  
Vana stiffened and nodded that she was ready.   
“Just hold on to me,” Dwalin heard Kíli say.  
Óin pressed his fingers into the wound and the effect was immediate. Vana opened her mouth and screamed in pain, gripping Kíli’s arm and pressing the coat hard against her chest. Kíli held a hand to her face and squeezed his eyes shut as she cried. Dwalin thought his chest was going cave in on itself as he listened to her cry out. He started to pace, trying to prevent himself from tearing Óin away from her and throwing his damned herbs over the cliff. As he turned back he locked eyes with Thorin who was looking at him with compassion. Dwalin recognised the same expression from when Thorin had learned of his father’s death and he tore his eyes away at the memory. He suddenly felt a pair of familiar hands grip his arms and he looked down into his older brother’s normally kind eyes which were now filled with tears. Balin flinched as Vana let out another cry and Dwalin gripped his arms back and they locked foreheads, trying to block out the sounds of their ward’s pain.

The rest of the company were shuffling awkwardly; some could not take their eyes off of the screaming girl while others were looking anywhere but at her. Dori had an arm around Ori who was staring wide-eyed at Vana, tears pouring down his face. Glóin was watching his brother work, occasionally catching his eye and giving him sympathetic nods. Bofur had taken his hat off and was gripping it with white knuckles, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. Bombur and Nori were gripping Bifur by the shoulders as he sat with his hands pressed hard over his ears and his eyes squeezed shut. Thorin came to stand behind his oldest nephew, who was watching Oin’s actions with a look of fear that Thorin had only ever seen once before; when he had been told his mother was ill and she might not survive.

_ Vana _

It felt like days had passed when Óin finally stopped. First it had been the herbs that stopped the bleeding, and they stung with the sharpness of a thousand daggers. Then it had been the herbs to kill infection and they had burned harder than the whip. Then he had to wash the surplus herbs away with the cloth and by the end of it I was silently begging to lose consciousness, too exhausted to cry any more. My throat was hoarse from screaming, now only letting out strangled gasps, and my arms ached from bracing myself against Kíli . He had stayed with me through the whole ordeal, talking to me, holding me, kissing my face and neck. _His knees must be so sore from kneeling on the ground.  
_ “Right, last thing, miss Vana.” I heard Gandalf’s announcement and I shook my head.  
“No more, please,” I felt utterly pathetic as I said it. “It hurts so much.”  
“This won’t hurt my dear, I promise. It will feel strange, but it won’t hurt. I need to close your wounds so they won’t bleed any more or get infected. Will you let me?”  
I whimpered and nodded and Kíli took my face in his hands, looking up at me. His eyes were red from where he’d shed his own tears.   
“Almost over, love.” He smiled his familiar cheeky smile. “Almost over and then you’ll have no excuse for being carried.”   
I shook my head at his terrible joke letting out a short laugh as Gandalf began muttering under his breath. I frowned at the bizarre sensations; though my back still ached, this wasn’t painful as such, but I could feel the skin on my back stretch and when the edges of the wound met I could feel them knit together. The whole process took a matter of minutes, with Gandalf having to make his way down each wound individually. Once he was finished, he stood and came around in front of me.   
“These won’t hold forever. Before long they will likely reopen and need proper stitching.” “You can’t do something more permanent?” Kíli asked him.   
“Not while there’s still the chance of infection. I don’t want to risk sealing anything in. Until then we’d better hope you don’t have a lot more fighting or running ahead of you.”  
“Is that likely?” I asked, my voice raspy.   
“Not at all,” Gandalf said with a sad smile before heading over to Thorin.   
“Here,” Fíli appeared in Gandalf’s place, handing me his waterskin. “Drink this, you need it more than I.”   
I nodded in thanks and chugged the water down with both hands, forgetting once again about the coat. Kíli held it up for me and I smiled in thanks when I was finished.   
“Where’s my shirt?” I asked, looking around and spotting the ruined, blood-stained material.   
“You can’t wear that,” Fíli said, standing up. “We can find you something else to wear.”  
“Here, hold this,” Kíli told me, brandishing the coat and I wrapped my arms around it. He then stood and began to unbutton his dark blue tunic.   
“I have my shirt, you can wear this.”   
“I might need a little help.” I said and he nodded, though his devilish grin was back.   
“Kíli!” We turned to see Dwalin pointing an armoured knuckle at him. “Eyes on the sky, or I’ll knock you into it.”   
Kíli respectfully stopped smiling and nodded, turning back to me to hold the tunic open for me to step into and tilting his head upwards.   
“It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before,” I heard him mutter and out of the corner of my eye I saw Fíli smirk as he turned his back to me.   
“You’re ridiculous,” I hissed at Kíli before dumping his coat over his head and snatching the tunic from him. He gave a startled cry and wrestled with the coat, ripping it from his face, only to see me with my arms were through the sleeves and the top tie already fastened.  
I smirked at him and proceeded to the next one as he shook his head and laughed.   
“Can we look now?” I heard Bofur call and I turned to find that the entire Company were all standing with their backs to me.   
“Yes, you can!” I called back with a laugh and they all turned to come towards me. Kíli then opened his coat and held it out to me.   
 “Take this too.”  
“You’ll freeze!” I protested.   
“Don’t you worry about me -”  
“Excuse me?” We turned to see Ori gingerly approaching us. “Sorry, but…I picked this up…back in the tunnels. I thought you might want it back…” He extended his hand and in it was my coat, neatly folded.  
I couldn’t help but laugh at the dwarf’s shyness.   
“Thank you so much Ori!” I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his neck. Ori stood awkwardly, very aware of my sore back and patted my shoulder instead.   
“You’re welcome, Miss Vana,” he said as I released him before turning back to Dori, his face beetroot red.   
“It’s good to see you laugh lass,” Bofur smiled warmly.   
“We’re all relieved yer alright,” Glóin nodded, giving me a pat on the arm.   
“You were so brave in there,” Ori remarked. “I don’t think I could have stood that…” His eyes went to his feet again.   
“Um…Miss Vana?” Nori said awkwardly looking at me with an uncharacteristically shy expression. “I umm…I found this.” To my delighted surprise he presented me with my knife belt. “Took it off one of the goblins. Thought you might need it.”  
“What is happening to you Nori?” Dori laughed. “You’re actually using your skills for good?”   
“Don’t get used to it,” Nori muttered before I threw my arms around him.   
“Thank you Nori!” I breathed, grinning as I fastened my belt around my waist, enjoying the familiar weight.   
Bifur then tapped me on the shoulder and handed me Ringil, saying something in Khuzdul.   
“He says he picked it up after we fell,” Bofur translated.   
“Thank you,” I said to Bifur, giving him a hug before moving to strap the sword onto my back. The strain on my muscles as I reached behind me made me wince and Kíli stilled me with a hand on my arm.   
“Here let me.” He gently wrapped the strap around my shoulder and hip, trying his best not to touch my back, which was still very tender. I fastened the strap at my chest, careful not to make it too tight.  
“WHERE IS OUR HOBBIT?!”  
We all jumped at Gandalf’s outburst and spun to see him shouting at Thorin, Balin and Dwalin. At his words we all started looking around for Bilbo and I felt a pang of guilt that I hadn’t noticed he was missing. Fíli and Kíli spun around on the spot, as if he was hiding behind them somewhere.   
“Curse the halfling!” I heard Dwalin shout. “Now he’s lost?”  
“I thought he was with Dori!” Glóin called out.   
“Don’t blame me!” Dori responded angrily.   
“Well where did you last see him?” Gandalf addressed him.   
“I think I saw him slip away when they cornered us,” Nori piped up.   
“Well what happened exactly?” Gandalf asked impatiently. We all glanced at each other. The truth was none of us remembered seeing Bilbo after falling into the pit. “Tell me!” the wizard cried.   
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Thorin stormed up to him. “Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door.”   
“Will you stop that!” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.  
Thorin turned to me, fixing me with his icy glare.   
“What did you say?” he asked, his voice soft and dangerous.   
“Stop talking about him as if he’s utterly useless. Have you even spoken to him since you first insulted him in Bag End? Have you ever thought to ask him how he is? Have you ever had a single conversation with him that wasn’t about whether he can use an axe or a sword?”   
I could feel my temper rise as I spoke, and my volume rose along with it. Kíli laid a hand on my arm but I shrugged it off and took a few steps towards Thorin.   
“Have you forgotten that it was Bilbo who went into the healing houses in Rivendell to look for me? Or that it was Bilbo who saved us from being eaten by trolls? Have you forgotten that he ran the entire length of Hobbiton to catch up with you to join _your_ quest? Or that he has stuck by us every step of the way, through trolls, warg packs, elves and bloody stone giants? And yet all you can do is chastise him, mock him and make him feel like he is worthless when in fact he has been the one that kept this quest going!”  
When I finally finished I was breathing hard, ignoring the pain building up in my back from my tense muscles. The Company were staring at me, unsure whether to back me up or not. Thorin’s face was thunderous and he looked ready to hit me or throw me off the mountainside. With a deep breath his eyes eventually softened and he lowered his gaze from mine.  
“No matter what you may think,” Thorin finally said quietly. “The hobbit is still not here. He is either running home or he is lying dead in that mountain. Either way, we will not be seeing our hobbit again. He is long gone.”  
“No, he isn’t.” A small voice sounded from behind Thorin, making him spin round, his hand flying to the hilt of his sword. My face broke into a huge grin as I beheld the sight;   
Bilbo was standing right behind Thorin, almost completely unharmed, save a few cuts and bruises, smiling slightly at us all. His eyes met mine and he nodded at me in thanks. I realised he must have heard every word I said and I felt my face grow warm.   
“Bilbo Baggins,” Gandalf said cheerily, a warm smile spreading across his face. “I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my life.”  
“Bilbo,” Kíli breathed a sigh of relief, stepping up beside me. “We’d given you up!”  
“How on earth did you get past the goblins?” I heard Fíli ask.   
“How indeed?” Dwalin added, gazing in wonder at the hobbit.   
Bilbo only glanced at us and chuckled, slipping his hands into the pockets of his waistcoat.  
“Well, what does it matter?” Gandalf said. “He’s back.”  
“It matters,” Thorin insisted, staring at the hobbit until Bilbo met his eye. “I want to know. Why did you come back?”  
Bilbo returned his gaze for a moment before responding:   
“Look I know you doubt me, and I know you always have. And you’re right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair and my garden. See, that’s where I belong. That’s home. And that’s why I came back. You don’t have one, a home; it was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.”  
I looked at Thorin and couldn’t help but smile at his expression. A small smile crept onto his face for an instant before he nodded at the hobbit and forced his face to remain straight. Bilbo might not have noticed, but Fíli, Kíli and I knew he had been moved by the hobbit’s speech. The company gazed at him, some even welling up a little, as we all took a moment to think of home.


	21. Fire and Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there lads, we're closing in on the finale...

_ Vana _

A howl from the mountain brought us back to reality and we noticed to our horror that the sky was growing dark. The first howl was followed by another, and then another and another and we all knew what that meant.   
“Out of the frying pan,” Thorin growled.   
“And into the fire,” Gandalf finished for him. “Run. RUN!” At his bellow we all turned and sprinted down the mountainside. The movement no longer hurt my back as much as it had earlier, but it did nothing to ease the ache that was still there and I was definitely slower than usual.   
Kíli and Fíli remained at my sides as we ran, the shadows in the sky overtaking us and plunging us into a premature darkness. The howls grew closer and they seemed to grow in numbers as well. It was only a matter of time before they overtook us. I instinctively reached behind me to draw Ringil from its sheath but the searing pain made it impossible, so I settled for drawing two knives from my belt.   
No sooner had I done so, had a warg leapt over our heads, landing directly in front of Bilbo who froze. Before I could yell his name, the warg leapt towards him and he drew his sword just in time for the warg to impale itself and collapse dead to the ground. Another growl sounded and I turned to see a warg pounce towards Balin only to be brought down by Thorin and Dwalin, just as Ori let out a yell and swung his newly acquired warhammer backwards and onto the head of a third warg. I spun to see another warg making its way towards us and quickly threw my first knife, embedding it in the warg’s chest, and the creature collapsed with a loud yelp.  
I turned to find Kíli sprinting back to me.   
“Go! I’m fine!” I yelled, sprinting towards him and as soon as I was level with him he turned and we followed the rest of the company. They had all stopped, I noticed with a groan, at the edge of the mountainside, which became a sheer precipice that stretched hundreds of feet back to earth.   
“What now?” Dwalin shouted, brandishing his two axes.  
“Up into the trees!” Gandalf shouted. “Come on, climb! Bilbo, climb!” I turned, to my horror, to see Bilbo still frozen where he was in front of the warg he had killed.   
“Bilbo, what are you doing?!” I shouted, instinctively making my way towards him, only to be restrained by Fíli and Kíli .   
“Bilbo!” I shrieked a warning as another warg came running out of the darkness towards him but Bifur charged past me, lobbing one of his throwing axes at the beast before it could reach him. Bilbo seemed to snap out of it and started to make his way towards us so I let Fíli and Kíli lift me up into the tree. I grabbed a branch and placed my foot on a lower branch. My back ached horribly as I pulled myself up but I forced myself to keep going. Looking down I saw Fíli give Kíli a leg up onto one of the lower branches. Kíli the secured his legs around the branch and reached down to swing Fíli up into the tree. Fíli indicated for me to climb higher and I obeyed, pulling myself further up the tree. After a few more levels my back was burning and I had to stop. I wrapped my arms around the trunk of the tree, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain. _Please don’t be bleeding. That will just excite the wargs._  
Kíli reached my level and grabbed my upper arm, shaking me out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes to find his concerned gaze and determinedly looked away to see the rest of the company occupying the surrounding trees. Dwalin, Balin and Thorin were in a tree behind us which Bilbo was also currently climbing, Bombur, Bofur and Nori next to us, and Bifur, Oin and Glóin next to them whilst Ori, Dori and Gandalf had climbed the tree on the very edge of the precipice. My eyes found Gandalf’s, right at the top of the tree, and I gave him a look that said _I hope you have a bloody good plan!_  
The entire warg pack had reached us by now and was snarling at the foot of the trees, causing the dwarves to cry out, both in fear and in anger.  
The noises seemed to die down, however, as a figure stepped out onto a raised boulder a little further up the mountainside, making him almost level with us. His skin was paler than the moon, matching the fur of his warg, and littered with various scars on his chest and face. In place of his left forearm, he bore a metal claw and in his right hand he held a huge black iron mace.   
_It’s him! It must be him!_ The memory of the vision made my chest clench in fear and I let out a strangled gasp as the image of Kíli lying dead flooded my vision.   
He gazed at us with cold, dead blue eyes and a sneer stretched across his thin lips as he beheld one dwarf; Thorin.  
I couldn’t see his face, but his body was stiff, frozen in horror at the sight of this monster. His head shook slightly as the orc spoke in their evil language.   
“Is that who I think it is?” I asked out loud to no one in particular.   
“Azog,” Fíli answered in a dark voice from below me. I glanced at Kíli who was staring, transfixed at the pale orc, his eyes wide as he picked up on a word.   
“Thorin? He said Thorin didn’t he?”   
Before either Fíli or I could answer, the orc pointed his mace at Thorin, gave a final order and the wargs without riders charged our trees.

They leapt at us, battering the trunks of the trees with their paws and snapping at the branches. The branches they could reach they ripped off with ease and we all shouted as the trees became more and more unstable. One warg threw its entire body at our tree, causing it to shudder violently and I cried out as the movement jarred my back. They leapt more ferociously as their leader called out more commands in Black Speech and Kíli grabbed hold of me as the tree toppled slightly, causing me to slip.  
I watched in horror as the wargs beneath Thorin, Balin and Dwalin’s tree ripped the roots out of ground and caused their tree to topple towards us.  
“Look out!” I shouted as the three of them leapt into our tree.   
“Get ready to jump!” Fíli shouted, standing up on his branch. I moved to stand but as soon as I tried to pull myself up my back exploded in pain and I screamed, my vision going white.  
Kíli grabbed hold of my arm and I barely heard him yell at me to jump before the tree was falling and I had no choice. I grabbed hold of the next tree with a cry of pain and hung on, feeling Kíli’s grip slip from me.   
The absence of his hand was enough to snap me out of it and I looked around desperately to find him on the branch below me, hanging on by his fingertips. His feet found the branch beneath him and he steadied himself as the wargs began their onslaught on this tree.   
I looked up as a flash of grey caught my eye and found Gandalf standing in the branches far above me. That meant…  
_This is the last tree._  
Before I could stop myself my eyes travelled down and down and down into the darkness below and I cried out in terror, tightening my grip on the branch. I wrapped my legs around the tree trunk, and tried to focus on my companions, who by now had all been knocked out of their trees and where hanging on for dear life to the last tree standing. It was already beginning to wobble.   
“GANDALF!” I looked up towards the wizard, screaming at the pain in my neck and back. “You’d better have a plan!”  
Gandalf glanced around him before reaching over and grabbing something from the tree. I squinted to see what it was.  
_A pinecone??? What are we going to do? Lob bloody_ pinecones _at them?!_   
Gandalf turned it around in his fingers, muttering a few words and suddenly the pinecone was glowing with flames. He then threw the pinecone down to the wargs which yelped and bounded away.   
_Oh so that actually_ was _the plan…_  
Soon more flaming pinecones dropped down and various members of the company were catching them and using them to light more pinecones before throwing them with all their strength towards the wargs, creating a flaming wall around our tree. One warg was even hit and had its fur burst into flames. Before too long the wargs had backed off completely and I had to grin as the dwarves began to cheer.  
_Could sheer dumb luck and stupid ideas get us out of this?_  
The cheers were cut off as the tree began to creak and soon it was descending down towards the abyss below. The dwarves cried out and hung onto the branches with all their might as the tree fell backwards, stopping abruptly as it lay almost horizontal, hanging on by its very last roots. Ori slipped from his branch and grabbed onto Dori’s leg, dangling precariously over the sheer fall.  
The tree then creaked and dropped slightly, and I was so distracted by Ori’s situation that the sudden drop took me by surprise and my legs slipped off of the trunk, leaving me hanging on only by my arms. The force that now held my arms lanced through my back, making me feel as if I was being whipped all over again. The pain made me shriek and I almost lost my grip from the shock alone.   
“Vana!” Kíli’s yell tore the air towards me and I looked around to see him hanging helplessly from his own branch, his arms wrapped around it solidly. Unable to reach me he simply fixed me with a pleading look.   
“Just hang on!” He called over to me, but the pain that was burning its way across my back only increased with every second I hung there.   
“I don’t think I can,” I managed to say through gritted teeth, squeezing my eyes shut through the pain.   
“Vana, no!” Kíli cried desperately. “Look at me! Don’t you dare let go! Do you hear me?!”  
I forced my eyes to open and caught sight of Ori and Dori.   
“Mister Gandalf!” Dori cried as his hands slipped from the branch. He fell only a few feet before Gandalf reached his staff down and he caught hold of it, his face contorted in pain and fear as he hung on with all his strength.  
The breath caught in my throat as I looked down at the long fall that surely awaited me.   
“VANA!” Kíli was screaming now, struggling to swing his leg up onto the branch. “Just hang on! I’m coming to get you!”  
“Kíli, stop!” I cried, tears pouring down my face.   
_Whatever awaits me, Kíli_ cannot _die!_  
“Vana!” Fíli was now calling out to me, though I couldn’t see him. “Hold on!”  
“Vana, whatever yer thinkin’ of doin’, DON’T do it!” Dwalin was yelling now. Another cry of pain escaped me as I tried to block them out.   
“Vana, HOLD ON!” Kíli screamed.   
“I CAN’T!” I screamed harder as one hand slipped from the branch, leaving me hanging on by one arm. “Kíli!” I wanted to look at him, to see his face one last time, his beautiful brown eyes…  
“Vana, I’m coming!”   
“Kíli, I love you!” My eyes wouldn’t open. It was too painful. My hand was starting to slip.   
“NO!”  
“I’m sorry!”   
“Vana, NO!” Another voice shouted above me and I felt a hand grab my arm. My eyes snapped open and I was looking up into the face of Bilbo Baggins. He lay face down on the tree trunk, his eyes wide with terror as he reached his other hand down to me.   
“Take my hand!” He called down.  I stared into his huge blue eyes, silently pleading me to do as he says and with a loud cry of pain I swung my arm up to grip his.   
“That’s it! Come on!” Bilbo called in my ear as I screamed in agony, my back feeling like it was being ripped open as I pulled myself up. I managed to manoeuvre myself over the thicker tree trunk, moving my hand to grip the branch opposite and swing my leg over the trunk so I was lying on my stomach, facing the hobbit. His arms gripped mine and I squeezed his arms gratefully, pressing my forehead against his.   
“Thank you,” I breathed, trying to ignore the pain pulsating through my entire body.  
Bilbo only nodded, gasping for breath.   
“Thorin! What are you doing?” Fíli’s shout echoed down towards us and I forced my eyes open.

Thorin was walking, slowly and deliberately, down the trunk of the tree, oak shield in his left hand and Orcrist brandished in his right. He didn’t even seem to have heard Fíli.  
“Where are you going?” Kíli shouted, but he too was ignored. Thorin only had eyes for his target; Azog the Defiler.   
As he reached the end of the trunk he broke into a run, sprinting through the branches and flames that coated the ground. All we could do was watch in horror as he charged towards the orc, his sword raised above his head. Azog let out a roar as his warg pounced, his massive paw catching Thorin in the chest and knocking him to the ground.   
“No!” I heard Kíli shout in terror.   
My eyes were fixed on Thorin as he pulled himself to his feet, his face contorted in pain and anger. Azog wheeled his warg around and charged at Thorin swinging his mace into Thorin’s chest, and knocking him clean off his feet.  
Balin cried out in fear and I gripped Bilbo’s arm harder as he began to pull away from me. He looked around at me with a pleading look in his eye, his hand pushing my arm away gently. I peered at him in confusion until a loud scream of pain echoed around us. I looked over Bilbo’s shoulder to see Thorin in the jaws of the huge white warg, yelling in agony as the beast sank its teeth into him over and over again.   
“THORIN!” I heard Dwalin yell desperately, trying to pull himself off of his branch, only for the branch to snap and leave him hanging helplessly.   
I looked from Dwalin to Bilbo to Thorin before releasing Bilbo’s arms. He nodded at me and pulled himself to his feet, drawing his sword and gripping it in both hands. I watched as Thorin swung his sword around in a final desperate attempt to free himself and struck the warg on the nose. The beast yelped and suddenly Thorin was flying through the air, landing heavily on a rock, his sword slipping from his hand.   
He lay still, his head lolling from side to side and I saw Bilbo make his way down the tree, breaking into a sprint as Azog said something to one of his followers who slipped off his warg and started to make his way towards Thorin. With a loud yell, he leapt onto the orc who had raised his sword to take Thorin’s head off, knocking him to the side. The orc screeched and made to take Bilbo’s head instead but Bilbo drove his sword into the orc’s chest again and again until the orc moved no more. He then stood in front of Thorin and faced Azog directly, waving his sword from side to side to show he wasn’t afraid.   
I tried to get up, tried to move, tried to do something, but every muscle twitch pulled at my ravaged back and set it alight with searing pain.   
Kíli hauled himself onto the trunk in front of me, reaching down to pull Dwalin from his broken branch. Beside him, Fíli managed to pull himself up as well and with a fierce cry they charged the wargs, their weapons held high and proud above their heads. I watched as Kíli fought beside his brother, working together to bring down the wargs that faced them. Bilbo even joined the fray, slicing at the neck of a warg before being knocked straight into Azog’s white warg. I heard Azog’s growl from here and watched as the warg swung its head and threw Bilbo to the ground.   
A new fury boiled in my chest as I saw Bilbo frozen in fear as the warg approached him.

I gritted my teeth, my back protesting furiously, as I forced myself to sit up ignoring the excruciating pain in my back as best I could. I could hear Gandalf and Balin, still clinging to their branches, call my name but ignored them. I needed to get to Bilbo, as impossible as I knew it was.  
The white warg was closing in on Bilbo when a scree sounded across the mountainside. We all turned to see a huge eagle swoop down just behind Azog, who roared in fury as it picked up a warg and dropped it over the precipice. He pulled his warg around to dodge another eagle’s attack and the dwarves could only watch as the wargs were snatched from in front of them by the enormous birds.   
My vision began to blur but I still saw Thorin’s limp body be picked up from the rock by a huge set of claws, watched as he was gently lifted into the air and his oak shield fell from his lifeless arm. Dwalin, Fíli and Kíli had stopped fighting, staring up at the birds as their leader, until Kíli’s eyes found mine and he began to run back to me. My arms were shaking as the energy ebbed out of them, giving out entirely when I tried to reach out to him and sending my toppling forward. My head fell smack against the tree trunk and I couldn’t even think to stop myself as I slid sideways, falling into the darkness.

When I opened my eyes the light was bright in my eyes, a soft gold colour all around me. I was lying on a soft bed of feathers and a breeze was flowing over my skin.   
“Vana?” A small voice echoed from beside me and I managed to shift my head slightly but my body just felt heavy.   
“Vana, can you hear me?” The voice was louder. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t will any sound to come out. Bilbo’s worried face moved into my line of vision and I felt his hand take mine. “It’s alright,” he said with a smile. “The eagles are here.”  
_Eagles?_   
I found the energy to turn my head to the side and saw that I was, indeed, on the back of a giant eagle. I tried to raise my head but my back protested furiously, causing me to let out a groan.   
“No, it’s okay.” Bilbo squeezed my hand tighter. “We’re all safe.”   
“ _Thorin!”_  
Fíli’s desperate shout sounded from somewhere behind us and I strained to find him.   
“Fíli…Kíli…”   
“They’re fine,” Bilbo assured me.   
“Thorin…” I remembered his lifeless form sprawled on the rock and Azog advancing towards him on his warg. Bilbo did not answer this time, only looking into the distance with his worried expression again.

The eagle landed gently on a large, rocky outcrop that towered above the surrounding landscape, dipping its head low to allow Bilbo to slip off. He then reached up to me and I managed to clumsily manoeuvre myself off into his arms. He stumbled slightly as I fell onto him but held my arm around his shoulders determinedly moving us away from the edge. I stumbled along next to him and saw that Thorin had already been dropped off as well as Gandalf who was kneeling over his unconscious body. He muttered undiscernibly as he passed a hand over Thorin’s face and chest and within seconds Thorin’s eyes were fluttering open. I breathed a sigh of relief as he shifted slightly, turning to look at Gandalf.    
“The halfling?” he whispered, his voice hoarse.   
“It’s alright.” Gandalf gestured behind him towards us. “Bilbo is here, he’s quite safe.”   
The rest of the company were being dropped off and making their way over to us. Dwalin and Fíli immediately rushed to Thorin’s aid as he attempted to get up. Kíli practically sprinted to my side, pulling me into his arms, carefully avoiding my back.   
“Vana,” he breathed into my hair. “I – you -”    
“I’m here, it’s okay,” I closed my eyes and breathed him in. He smelled like ash and blood, but underneath he still smelled like Kíli and that made me forget everything, just for a moment, until I realised he was shaking. “Are you hurt?”   
Kíli shook his head, burying his face in my hair with a shuddering breath.   
“You!” Thorin’s brusque shout caught us off guard and Kíli pulled away from me to turn and face his uncle, whose angry gaze was fixed on Bilbo. “What were you doing? You nearly got yourself killed!”   
Kíli silently lead me away from the two of them and towards the company. Bilbo took a step backwards as Thorin began to advance towards him.   
“Did I not say that you would be a burden?” Thorin hissed at him. “That you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us?”   
Bilbo looked at his feet in guilt and I found myself fighting the sudden urge to throttle Thorin – that is until he, without warning, put his arms around the hobbit and pulled him into a hug.  
“I have never been so wrong in all my life.”   
The rest of the dwarves were watching with a mixture of smiles and bewildered expressions. “Are you seeing this?” I whispered to Kíli who nodded.   
“I’m his nephew and I can probably count the hugs I’ve had from Thorin on my fingers. This hobbit’s been around for, what, a couple of months?”   
Thorin released a very bewildered looking Bilbo, and for the first time since Rivendell, I saw a genuine smile cross Thorin’s face. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”  
“No, I would have doubted me too,” Bilbo said with a slight shake of his head. “I’m not a hero, or a warrior. Not even a burglar.” He turned to us with a small smile and we all chuckled in response, everyone regarding Bilbo with a new found admiration.   
_Sneaking out of goblin tunnels, fighting wargs and orcs, what else is this hobbit going to surprise us with?_  
“Is that what I think it is?” Bilbo looked over his shoulder as he saw Thorin gazing past him. We all moved closer, Kíli’s arm secured around my waist, as we caught sight of it as well: the Mountain, standing out on the horizon as a single, silver peak against the pale sky.   
“Erebor,” Gandalf said with a proud smile. “The Lonely Mountain. The last of the great dwarf kingdoms of Middle Earth.”   
“Our home.” I heard Thorin murmur. I glanced at Kíli who was staring at the distant peak with a look of wonder.   
“Home…” he whispered. I leaned my head against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. A fluttering of wings and hurried chirps sounded from behind us and then a small bird flew past us, its tiny wings flapping excitedly as it headed into the distance, towards the Mountain.   
“A raven!” Óin pointed to the bird. “The birds are returning to the mountain.”  
“That, my dear Óin, is a thrush.” Gandalf corrected him, smiling warmly to himself  
“Well,” said Thorin. “We’ll take it as a sign. A good omen.” He turned to smile at Bilbo again.   
“You’re right. I do believe the worst is behind us.” Bilbo nodded and we watched the bird disappear into the horizon.


	22. A Good Omen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Done and done! A double whammy tonight to celebrate the fact that I'm moving to New Zealand next week!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT NOTE for descriptions of bloody injuries and a brief panic attack.

_ Vana _

I don’t know if it was that I had been standing for too long, or because my body relaxed, but the pain in my back returned in a flash of white light and before I could even cry out I was collapsing to the ground, saved only by Kíli’s strong arms around me.   
“Vana!” he cried and knelt down, pulling me against him as my legs became useless. I squeezed my eyes shut as my back began to burn, unable to keep my muscles from tensing and causing even more agony.   
The rest of the company immediately gathered around me and Oin was pushing his way through them all.   
“Let me through! Her wounds will have reopened again.” He knelt next to me and pulled his hand free from his glove to feel my forehead. “Her temperature’s going up. I need to get the wounds closed before they get infected.”   
I let out an audible groan at the memory of the last round of treatment I’d had.   
“There’s a river,” Gandalf pointed out. “At the foot of the Carrock, where we might find some rest for the night.”   
“Is that wise?” Glóin asked. “Should we not try and put as much distance as we can between us and the Orcs?”   
“The eagles have already given us an advantage,” Gandalf said. “And Vana can’t keep going like this.”   
I felt a pang of shame in my chest; I was truly nothing but a burden now. I couldn’t fight, I couldn’t run, I didn’t think I could even walk. Kíli seemed to read my mind and pressed a reassuring kiss to my forehead.   
“We will head to the river,” Thorin ordered. “We could all do with a little rest. But we will leave at daybreak. We cannot risk the Orcs catching us out here.”   
“Vana?” I opened my eyes to find Kíli looking down at me, his concern etched clearly on his face. “Can you walk?”   
I tried to move my legs and sighed as I couldn’t even will them to shift an inch. They were too heavy. I shook my head, feeling completely defeated.   
“Here,” I looked over Kíli’s shoulder to find Dwalin removing his axes from his back and handing them to Fíli. He then knelt beside me, turning his back slightly to me. “Put yer arms around my neck.”   
I complied slowly, feeling like a child as Dwalin locked his arms under my legs and hoisted me up on his shoulders. I winced audibly as the movement jolted my back.   
“S-sorry,” I managed to choke out and I fought back tears of shame and embarrassment.   
“No, lass,” Balin came to place a kind hand on my arm, though his face was deadly serious. “I don’t want to hear any apologies from you.”   
“Aye,” Dwalin said gruffly. “Yeh’ve done nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I haven’t seen such bravery or strength in a long time.”   
I said nothing and rested my head against Dwalin’s shoulder, his words making me feel even worse, if that was possible.   
“Let’s get off this rock,” Fíli said with conviction as he reached a hand out to help Thorin. Thorin allowed his nephew to assist him in making his way down the uneven steps of the hill, still stiff from his injuries and Dwalin followed closely.

_ Kíli  _

Kíli watched as Dwalin began to make his way down the cliff with Vana on his back. Her face was contorted in pain even as she tried to relax it and he could see clearly that she was trying to hold back tears. He wanted to follow but he couldn’t quite bring himself to watch her in pain. He waited until almost everyone else had gone in front of him before following when Balin stopped to wait with him.   
“You alright, laddie?” he asked kindly.   
Kíli could only nod, not trusting himself to speak.   
_‘Leave me,’ she had said. She wanted us to leave her to the goblins.  
‘I love you.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ She had said that before she was going to let go of that tree and fall to her death. _  
Her words burned into his mind, rendering him unable to think or breathe. He panicked as his heart began to ram against the walls of his chest, as though desperate to escape and his breath came in shuddering gasps. The image of Thorin flooded his vision; advancing towards Azog, being knocked to the ground, picked up in the jaws of the white warg, his agonised screams as the beast’s teeth tore into him. He leant forward, his hands gripping his knees as he tried to force air into his lungs, but the more he tried, the more he panicked. He flinched as Balin’s hand touched his shoulder.   
“There now,” the old dwarf said softly. “It’s alright, just let it pass. It’s all over now.”   
Kíli gasped some more but the dwarf’s strong, yet gentle grip soothed him and he was able to get his breathing under control. He straightened up, grasping Balin’s arm as if afraid he would collapse.   
“She almost…” he couldn’t say it. “Uncle almost…they…”   
“I know,” Balin said. “But they didn’t. They’re alive. They’re alive and they’re strong. They’ll make it through this.”   
Kíli nodded as Balin’s kind eyes met his. The dwarf then smiled slightly and pointed towards the Mountain in the distance. “Look, look over there. Remember why we’re doing this.”   
Kíli stared at the Mountain, replacing the images of Thorin and Vana’s near-deaths with the memories of Thorin telling him and Fíli tales of his old life in Erebor, and then thoughts of the life he and Vana could have once they reached it. He would finally be able to make that ring for her, to marry her, to have children with her. He could tell them of this journey, and how brave their mother was to have faced such pain.   
He gave a nod and looked back at Balin.   
“For our home,” he stated. Balin smiled warmly and nodded.   
“Come, laddie, let’s catch up with the others.”   
The two of them began to make their way down, glimpsing the others a little way below them. Hoping they were all out of earshot, Kíli found himself voicing his previous thoughts to Balin:   
“She was going to let go.”   
Balin was silent.   
“In the goblin tunnels,” Kíli continued. “She asked us to leave her. And then on the tree, she was going to let go. She said she couldn’t hold on.”   
“She was in pain,” Balin choked slightly as the memory brought tears to his eyes. “She was in a horrific, unimaginable amount of pain. No one can think rationally when they’ve been humiliated and tortured as she was. We all knew the dangers of bringing a woman with us on this quest, particularly as we were going through the High Pass.”   
“Do you think we should have left her in Rivendell? Or in Ered Luin?” Kíli asked quietly.   
Balin took a deep breath. “Perhaps. She would have been safer. She could have kept your mother company. Then again, would she have stayed?”   
Kíli couldn’t envision a scenario where she would have.   
“She would have followed us. Waited until we were far enough into the wilds that she couldn’t be sent back.”   
Balin chuckled. “Aye, or she and Dis would have driven each other crazy.”   
Kíli couldn’t help but smile at that. As much as his mother loved Vana and as much Vana respected Dis, they could not be left alone together for that extended period of time. Two forces of nature such as them should never be left to clash.   
“Will she be alright, Balin?” Kíli asked, feeling like a dwarfling as he said it. The last time he had felt so helpless was when his mother was nearly on her deathbed from severe sickness. He had just been a dwarfling, barely ten years old.  
“Of course she will!” Balin answered immediately. “We’ll make sure she is.” He sounded as though he was trying to convince himself more than anything and Kíli forced himself to agree.   
_She has to be alright. She has to make it. I won’t leave her behind._

They caught up to the others at the foot of the hill and Kíli rushed to Dwalin’s side as he slowly lowered Vana to the ground. He reached for Vana’s arm but she shied away as she got unsteadily to her feet.   
“I can walk by myself!” she snapped as she took a few shaky steps, wincing at her own movements. Kíli was reminded of a newborn foal finding his legs for the first time but left her to it. Dwalin brushed off her declaration and remained at her side, despite her protests. Kíli caught his brother’s concerned glance and nodded that he was okay. His pathetic attempt at a smile did nothing to convince him however.   
“Fíli, Kíli,” Thorin called his nephews over. “I need you to scout the area. The river is just through those trees. See if you can find us a good shelter and, if you can, perhaps some food. We will follow you.”   
The brothers nodded and Kíli automatically reached for his bow, only to remember it was abandoned somewhere in the goblin tunnels. With an irritated sigh, he followed his older brother ahead. Once they were within the cover of the trees Fíli paused and looked over his shoulder towards the others. Kíli opened his mouth to ask why they had stopped but before he could speak, Fíli crushed him in a hug.   
For a moment, Kíli was going to protest, but the sudden show of comfort from his older brother seemed to unleash something in him and before he knew it tears were pouring down his face and he was hugging his brother back, hard.   
They remained there for several minutes as Kíli let all of his emotions out, his face buried in Fíli’s shoulder. In turn, he heard Fíli release a few choked sobs of his own.   
“We’re alive,” Fíli eventually said. “Everyone’s here and the Mountain’s in sight. Perhaps Bilbo’s right and the worst truly is behind us.”   
“Perhaps,” Kíli nodded and pulled away to press his forehead against his brother’s. “Promise me something?”   
“Anything.”   
“Don’t die on me, nadad.”   
Fíli let out a low chuckle and clasped Kíli’s shoulder. “I won’t if you won’t.”   
“Deal,” Kíli agreed and with a final embrace they eventually got to their feet.   
“Come on,” Fíli nodded in the direction they were headed. “We need to keep going.”

_ Vana _

“Is Kíli alright?” I asked Balin as he walked next to me.   
“He will be. You don’t need to worry about him, lassie,” he gave me a weak smile.   
“Aye,” Dwalin said gruffly. “It’s you we need to worry about.”   
“I’m fine,” I said, almost out of instinct. Dwalin only grunted disbelievingly.   
Once we reached the trees, we found Fíli waiting for us. He and Kíli had found a sheltered spot by the river where we could spend the night and Kíli had gone further down river to see if there was any fish.   
Fíli lead us to the clearing and we quickly settled in. Óin insisted that I had to wash my back and the only option I had was the river. The thought of being naked in front of anyone in the company was mortifying enough but the fact that my back was likely split open and bleeding just made it worse. I could only imagine how disgusting I looked. I refused to let anyone see me and eventually, after a lot of protests from Dwalin, Balin and even Bilbo, I managed to get away by myself. The river bent around the collection of trees we were sheltering under and dipped down a small drop in ground level so I was able to remain close by without anyone seeing me. It didn’t stop me from checking around me three times to make sure.   
I unbuckled Ringil’s sheath and took my knife belt off first, the mere movements of which left me gasping in pain as my ruined muscles protested. Next, I removed my coat, which left me close to tears. My actions were slow and pathetic, and yet the pain was close to unbearable. I undid my trousers and slid them down my legs, along with my underwear, trying not to bend forward as I did. Finally I began to unbutton Kíli’s tunic, wincing as the material stuck to my back. Peeling it away was the worst part; the broken skin was pulled with the material at first before eventually detaching and snapping back into place. The memories of the lashes came back, along with the crack of the whip and the burning pain it left behind. When it finally dropped to the ground, I was left with the cool evening air biting the exposed wounds and attempting to step forward was a mistake that left me collapsing onto my knees. I leant forward, supporting myself on my hands and knees and let myself cry, choking on sobs of agony and embarrassment. Once I had calmed down a little, I shook my head gently, taking care not to move my neck too much.   
_Just get it over with. Get in and get out._  
I took a deep breath and crawled forwards towards the water, reaching out to touch the surface. It was freezing, but clear and pure. I could see the rocks at the bottom, descending deeper in the middle of the river. I dipped my arm in to touch the shallower rocks – the water came up to my elbow – and let out a choked gasp at how the cold bit. After a few seconds my arm grew more accustomed to the temperature and I plunged my other arm in, forcing myself to crawl forward until my legs tumbled in and I was completely submerged.   
The icy water bit into my open wounds like a ravenous predator, seeping into my blood and into my muscles and even my bones. I couldn’t help let out a loud cry of pain as the water surged unrelentingly over my broken body, the current pulling me over slightly.   
The whole situation was horrible. I was injured with no real treatments available, unable to run or fight, unable to even undress myself and step into a river without crying like a baby. And to top everything off, I knew I must be covered in very prominent and disgusting scars. I was disfigured, disabled and lost in the wilderness. And the worst part was that I had let everybody down; Dwalin, Balin, Thorin, Fíli… _Kíli ._ It was all too much. I curled my knees up to my chin and let the pain take over, let the tears consume me.

_ Kíli  _

It had been the best part of an hour since Kíli had left the company behind. He hadn’t managed to find any fish, and with no bow and no rope to set any traps he had very little chance of catching any game. Heeding his brother’s warnings about not going too far, he turned to make his way back, following the river. He came out of the trees to follow the riverbank and, to his surprise, spotted Vana in the river. She was submerged in the freezing water and at first glance she didn’t seem to be moving. He panicked and began to run forwards, pausing as he spotted her discarded clothes on the river bank. He swallowed and crept closer, feeling his heart leap to his throat as he saw that she was crying, her arms wrapped around her knees with her head resting on top. He wanted to go to her, he wanted to help her, to comfort her, to make her laugh again, but he had no idea what to say. He had only made things worse the last time he had tried, or at least he hadn’t made anything better.   
She seemed to sense a presence behind her and her head snapped up, causing her to audibly wince in pain. Her expression was fierce at first and Kíli opened his mouth to apologise, but then her expression changed; now she looked…afraid.   
“What are you doing?” Her voice was hoarse from crying, her eyes red and puffy.   
“I was…” Kíli tried to find his words but he was too overcome by the need to hold her. He felt utterly useless in that moment; he had made a promise to her, and to Dwalin and Thorin as well, to protect her and he had failed, yet again.   
“Just go,” She snapped, turning her body so her back was facing directly away from him and ducking her head. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Her voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear her over the sound of the running water.   
“Vana,” he moved closer until he was standing on the edge of the bank. “What do you think I’m going to do? Laugh? Vomit? Run away?”   
She didn’t respond, but he thought he saw her bottom lip tremble as if trying to fight back more tears.   
“I’m not bothered by your injuries,” he insisted. _At least not in the way you think._ “They won’t change how I see you. I just want to help you, please?”   
Vana met his gaze, her eyes filled with tears. He didn’t break eye contact, not even to blink, he just held her gaze.   
“I…” she took a shaky breath as more tears spilled over. “I can’t reach them.” She swallowed hard. “I need to wash them, but I can’t -” Her voice cracked on the last word and Kíli felt close to tears himself. He immediately began to take his clothes off, leaving them in a pile next to hers and stepping into the water. He winced slightly at the cold but kept his eyes on Vana, crouching down next to her, and placing his hand on her chin to tilt her face towards him.   
“Are you ready?” He asked her softly, fighting to control his voice.   
She sniffed and nodded her consent and he moved to sit behind her. He took a sharp intake of breath as he got his first proper look at her back. Her wounds were open and raw, oozing red into the running water. He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath to try and quell the rage that was building up inside him. He wanted to march right back into those mountains and run his sword through every single goblin he could find. Then Vana’s head fell forward and her shoulders began to shake as she sobbed. Kíli’s anger immediately melted at the sight and he wrapped his arms around hers, careful to avoid touching her back. He pressed his lips against her shoulder, waiting for her to calm down.   
“It’s going to be alright,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m going to take care of you. We’re going to get through this together. I won’t leave your side, not for a moment.” He pressed his lips against her ear and then to the side of her neck as she began to take deep breaths.   
“I love you,” he finally said. “No matter what happens, I love you more than anything.”   
She nodded and he felt her relax against him. She took a final deep breath and turned to face over her shoulder.   
“Let’s get this over with,” she mumbled.   
He nodded and helped her to stand, hissing slightly as the cool air hit his wet skin. He then led her towards the dip in the river where the water flowed down in a small waterfall. She crouched back down in the water and leant back against the flowing water. As it hit her she let out soft cries of pain, gripping Kíli’s arm as she gritted her teeth against the fast flowing water. After a few moments he pulled her back towards him to take a look at her back. As gently as he could, he stroked his fingers down the sides of the wounds, careful not to touch the broken skin. She flinched at his touch at first but soon got used to it and he swept the grime and flaked blood away. Once he was finished he nodded to her and she squeezed her eyes shut as she leant back against the water. She stayed as she was for another few moments before leaning forward again and wrapping her arms around Kíli’s neck, pulling him closer. He gingerly placed his hands on her shoulders, afraid to touch her back by accident. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his back but he didn’t pull away. He’d promised her.   
After a few minutes he heard her voice whisper shakily in her ear.   
“I love you too.”  

_ Vana _

He helped me step out of the water, wrapping me in his coat and quickly putting his underwear on. He left the rest of his clothes off to wait until he was dry. I protested at first that I was getting his coat wet but he dismissed my worries.   
“I’m a dwarf, remember?” He flashed me a quick smile. “A walking forge.”   
I nodded and he helped me sit down on the grass, carefully arranging the coat around my legs. I suddenly found myself sniggering at the familiar circumstances.   
“What’s funny?” Kíli asked quizzically.   
“Nothing,” I shook my head but couldn’t stop giggling. “It’s not funny, it’s just -” I paused as another string of giggles left my throat. “The – the last time I was naked on a river bank and wrapped in a dwarf’s coat, it was Thorin’s. And now, ten years later, here we are,” I gestured around me.   
Kíli only peered at me in confusion.   
“Strange how things turn out I guess,” he murmured. I could feel his eyes boring into me and any trace of laughter faded quickly. After a few minutes of silence, Kíli took a deep breath. “Why did you ask me to leave you?”   
“What?” I turned to face him, frowning.   
“In the goblin tunnels.” His voice was hard and his expression even more so. “You told me to leave you behind. Why?”   
I stared at him, studying his face; He was angry with me, that much I could gather.   
“I wanted you to get out. I wanted you to survive and I was slowing you down.”   
His jaw clenched and I could see his muscles tense, as if he was bracing himself to run.   
“And on the tree?” His voice shook with the emotion and I could see tears welling in his eyes. “On the tree you were going to let go. You told me you loved me and that you were sorry, and then you were going to let go.”   
“Kíli -”   
“Why?” His voice abandoned him, leaving his question in a shaky gasp. “Was it the pain? Was it all too much?”   
“You think I meant for that to happen?” I asked, narrowing my eyes as I saw where he was going. “You think I _wanted_ to die?”   
“Did you?” He asked bluntly.   
“No!” I hissed. “The opposite actually! I wanted to live. I wanted to live _so much_. I hung on as long as I could but the pain and the burning and -” I cut myself off as the memories came rushing back, causing the inflamed skin around my wounds to burn. “I _couldn’t_ hold on. I wanted to, I tried to, but I _couldn’t._ And you were telling me not to let go, trying to save me, putting yourself in danger for me when I knew I was going to die.” I glared at Kíli, forcing back the need to scream at him or hit him for being so stupid as to think I would just give up.   
“You didn’t die though,” he pointed out. “Bilbo -”    
“Appeared out of nowhere miraculously.” I retorted. “If he hadn’t been there I wouldn’t have been able to pull myself up. _I didn’t want to die!”_ I wanted to shout it in his ear.   
“Then why did you tell me to leave you to the goblins?” Kíli asked angrily. “They certainly wouldn’t have killed you. They would have tortured you until you were begging -!”   
“I wanted _you_ to live!” I snapped. I didn’t want to think about what else the goblins would have done to me. “I needed _you_ to get out, to survive. This quest is all about you and your family, don’t you understand that?”   
“So you would rather I ran away and left you? You would rather I fled like a coward?”   
“If it saves your life, _yes._ ” I gripped his arm. “You’re more important than me. You’re an heir of Durin. That Mountain we’re heading towards is your home, your kingdom. And on top of that you have a brother and a mother and an uncle who would never forgive themselves, or me, if you died protecting me.”  
“How can you say such things?” He glared at me. “You say I’m important but to me _you’re_ important! If you died, I would never forgive myself either. You’re my One, Vana! If you die then I die too. Maybe not in body, but my soul wouldn’t be whole anymore. I wouldn’t be able to function. I don’t think I could even breathe in a world where you don’t exist.”   
“Kíli -”   
“No, Vana,” he took my face in his hands, his eyes now wide, silently imploring me to understand. “We’re going to get through this together.” He echoed his words from earlier.   
I leaned forward to press my forehead against his.   
“Together,” I agreed.   
“I promised you,” he said softly. “Back in Rivendell, I promised I would do my best not to die. Will you promise me the same thing?”   
“I promise.” I leaned in and pressed my lips hungrily against his. He stiffened in surprise at first, but soon he was kissing me back. “I’ll never let anything happen to you, Kíli, not while I’m still breathing.” I murmured against his lips.  
“There’s nothing in this world that could take you from me, Vana.” Kíli replied before kissing me again.


End file.
